Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts

Thursday, 1 August 2019

Juice Nothing is Dead?

To Whom It May Concern,

Please accept my apology that I have not written a blog piece for almost two months now. Obviously my time spent in London was focused on catching up with friends, attempting to find any patch of sun, and drinking so much alcohol that it was never certain whether my liver or my wallet would fail me first. I'm back on the road again, btw.

The sad truth is that I've been reshuffling my creative intentions and my blog, this blog, Juice Nothing, was always the first to be pushed aside. On the one hand, it's heartbreaking for an 11-year project to fizzle out like this, but on the other, the output no longer makes the same sense as it once did. In December 2016 my site was visited 28,197 times. Last month, I was down to 5,064. That's not even my lowest score. If someone would like to help me with SEO that'd be well appreciated because something has obviously gone very wrong here.

The annual Dear 2019 piece is still planned to go ahead in December, but besides that one, I can't imagine what will appear on the platform apart for some sporadically inspired mini-rants (like this one). As I am writing the Top 250 Albums of the Decade book, it seems impossible to expect that the regular Top 50 Albums of 2019 post will be granted the space to grow. This breaks a nine-year streak, and it hurts. But I am only one person and my mental health is already straining under the enormous pressure of self-imposed deadlines. Juice Nothing never fixed my brain, so I'm trying different things.

However, work shall continue, of course of course, and besides that Top 250 Albums of the Decade book due in December 2019, here are some other projects you can look forward to:

My film/travel vlog, Definitely Not a Cry For Help, Chapter 7 & 8, should be out this year.
I'm thinking of releasing the 32-song soundtrack to the first six chapters soon too.
A monthly newsletter which will detail promotional tips is coming out in August, sign up here.
This newsletter is a bigger deal than it sounds. It's the gravitational pull which will glue everything I do together as one, finally concentrating my concentration on what matters, treating fame and success like the ladder it is and detailing every step of the way for anyone else to follow. It's going to be big with many components. There is strong energy there.
And, finally, a full review and analysis of the Bible should be done by October. I have started reading it. Slowly.

With these out of the way, next year my focus will initially be turned sharply towards my already 100% written self-help book Heartbreak Sucks! How to Get Over Your Ex in 30 Days. I happily admit that I intend this to make me rich because it's fucking worth it.
After that, the long-awaited sequel to my 2016 fictional book, This is Your Brain on Drugs, will be a priority. I hope I can get it done by the end of 2020, but this is unlikely (even though it's about 70% written). It's going to be called The Ovaries of Satan, by the way.
Definitely Not a Cry For Help should be completed in 2020 easily.
There is another travelling project I'm already working on, more potentially virally and simplistic, but I'm not ready to talk about that just yet. 2020 too.
I have 12 never-heard fully-recorded Coming Down Happy tracks on hand which should find their way out in 2020 as a b-side compilation called Kid B. I have also recorded half of another EP called *you're but with all my permanent travelling, music is truly the least accessible artistic medium right now. It's also a bit shit, tbh. I wanted it to sound like Swans producing Sonic Youth and I made even more of a mess of it. Still.
As for my band Sectlinefor, we work fast. If another album comes out next year, I would be the opposite of surprised. Personally, I want to tour the fuck out of whatever we do next. That last gig set fire to my sternum.

For the faaaar future, does anyone remember that Coming Down Happy trilogy of EPs I started in 2012? I finished the first two? The one with the cartoons? That got me into a lot of trouble? No? Well, I want to finish that anyway. Refresher.
Once Definitely Not a Cry For Help is done, I have this nagging compulsion to film a proper movie next time. I've learned so much by blindly crashing through this medium that I reckon I'll be able to put something magical together by then.
The aforementioned fictional book series will eventually consist of four novels. Maybe five. Maybe six.
Sectlinefor forever, btw.
I also want to join a punk band.

#legobiscuits are a permanent fixture.

Travelling might also be.

The good news is that I calculated if I never get a girlfriend or speak to anyone ever again, I might actually have enough time to pull all of this off.

Wish me luck,
Love Jared

Tuesday, 30 April 2019


More and more, I am noticing my friends jumping on the anti-procreation bandwagon, blaming the act of reproduction as the primary cause for negative environmental impacts and, therefore, the highest risk to the future of our species—when (quite literally) the opposite is true. Deep down, you all know this, but I'll spell it out for you anyway: the act of breeding is the undeniable fundamental basis of basic survival. If everyone in the world refused single-serving plastic (for example), then yes, our descendants would benefit from this action immeasurably so. But if everyone in the world refused to procreate? There is no process known to man/woman which would bring us to a quicker extinction.

Of course, there is a value in this anti-birth concept, as our ever-expanding numbers are noticeably placing a great strain on our resources whilst building a bigger and bigger shoe to fit our collective carbon footprint. Hence why if I ruled the world, I would happily implement China's former controversial one-child policy until the 1.1% annual population increase stabilised, and then ultimately began a healthy descent. Furthermore, I would also rule that the birth of a second child could be permitted but heavily taxed, meaning that a (non-corrupt) government could use this money to benefit society (potentially, by law, in environmental sectors) while also ensuring that any couple who wished to invest in this subsequent offspring were coming from a place of financial stability, resulting in a higher chance of better education. On the flip side of this, parents looking to adopt children should be compensated for their contribution to the community.

I know this type of program is a flawed idea, one which perhaps favours the rich and causes complications in times of divorce, but it is a far better approach than the other two extreme examples I am noticing in today's newsfeeds, namely: (1) where each individual is responsible for the birth of more than one child, at times doubling or even tripling their own human number on the planet, the very definition of unsustainable multiplication; or (2) where there are those voices who so proudly shout they have decided not to reproduce for environmental reasons like they're some sort of a fucking hero, when, in fact, this is the most detrimental act one can perform for the continuity of any species.

Once again, moderation and middle-ground are the keys to success. Also, please don't forget that in July 2017, 1.5 million volunteers in Madhya Pradesh, India, planted a world-record 66+ million trees in 12 hours. Australia reported an 80% reduction in plastic bag usage in 2018. The ozone hole is said to be shrinking and should disappear completely in our lifetimes. France recently banned all bee-harming pesticides. The EU are in the process of outlawing all single-use plastic by 2021. It is estimated that global tree growth has risen (not decreased) by 7% since 1982. China have cut down their levels of pollution by 32%. The Southern white rhinoceros and the panda bear (among many others) are no longer on the endangered list. Fortnite creator Tim Sweeney purchased 40,000 acres of land purely for preservation purposes. And media mogul Ted Turner is donating $1 billion to the UN with the goal of conserving 30% of our Earth's surface by 2030. These are only a few examples.

People did this. Procreation did this. Your kid could be the genius who discovers the solution to cleaning up the ocean, you don't know.