Worst to Best: Wes Anderson

Wes Anderson! Wes Anderson! Hey, do you guys remember the 2015 Golden Globes? The Grand Budapest Hotel was up for four awards, and Amy Poehler quipped "Per usual, Wes arrived on a bicycle made of antique tuba parts." Hahaha! Oh how I laughed! It's probably true! Wes is really weird!

And I guess that's why writing this Worst to Best was super difficult for me. For starters, how do you describe a magic that has already said everything you could ever want to before you even open your mouth? Huh? Furthermore, Anderson's style is so distinctly unique and weighed heavy with so many nutty trademarks, that it becomes increasingly hopeless not to repeat oneself. In fact, I could write a review right here which could apply to each and every one of his brilliant contributions, and it would go a little something like this:

This film is not quite a film, but rather an art-piece delivered with a sympathetic charm laced by a humour so deadpan, that one could never be fully confident as to what it was trying to do here—a prime example of how something can be so hilarious without finding itself hilarious, provoking the viewer to laugh at the film rather than with it. The whole experience seems surreal without falling abstract, the extraordinary satisfied to simply bubble beneath the surface, refusing to expose itself, subtly hinting at a fantasy film without every fully committing to one. Such a feat is achieved by the immaculately chosen cast as they navigate through the unformulated storyline, void of any easy-to-follow morals yet with its heart always in the right place, never a comedy, never a tragedy, never anything at all.

You see? DO YOU SEE? The above summary truly applies to every single entry below, and now I've completely fucked myself because I've gone and used all my good words before we've even began. But it had to be done in order to illustrate the reasons as to why Anderson was welcomed into my special box, armed with work so immediately recognisable and impossible to confuse with any other, that I effortlessly consider him one of the most consistent and loveable directors on the planet today, undoubtedly on his way to be forever imprinted into the fancy books. You cannot ignore him! Why would you want to!

Ok, so let's give this a go. Please forgive me as I once again pretend to know what I'm talking about as I order his directed works from my least favourite to what I consider his best. This is what I've got so far:

08. The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

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For the movie I consider to be the worst Anderson on sale, The Darjeeling Limited still holds strong to some impressive merits. Telling the precious story of three brothers attempting to resolve their past issues by discovering some enlightenment via a spiritual adventure through India, this narrative reflects such a real life Western crisis cliché that enough of the humour is already well-cooked before the title screen has even reared its pretty font. Furthermore, the casting decision of shoving Wilson, Brody, and Schwartzman in the same company guarantees a chemistry so hilariously persuasive, that the characters alone invoke a mushy tenderness which the flawed script was frustratingly unable to attain. And finally, the unique vibrancy of Indian culture itself suits Anderson’s eye for detail so perfectly that it's amazing it took him so long to film a project there, as the yellow colouring is exaggerated until each scene explodes into a thrilling vision of affection and warmth. But therein lies the exact problem: the stumbling block where style dominates substance, forcing us to watch Anderson trying too hard to to be Anderson, not as funny as he thinks he is whilst nurturing the haphazard plot so cautiously that it arrives safely into nowhere. Such an undertaking will be enough to amuse most fans (and I, myself, was amused), but I’d strongly advise avoiding this passable film until you run out of others to puncture your taste buds.

Recurring actors: Waris Ahluwalia; Adrien Brody; Anjelica Huston; Bill Murray; Kumar Pallana; Jason Schwartzman; Owen Wilson

07. Bottle Rocket (1996)

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When a bunch of incompetent but optimistic friends cluelessly attempt to pull of a few heist jobs, you'd be forgiven in assuming you may have heard this common premise before. However, where Anderson’s directorial debut falls on originality, it excels from a completely unusual delivery and a blind self-assurance exuberating out of a man who knew something we did not (even if it took a while for the rest of us to work it out). Granted, the big budget visuals and surrealistic conceptual pows Wes later became famous for aren't as obvious on this early example of his craft, but his brand qualities are still firmly intact if you are willing to dig past its own disconnected simplicity and relaxed intentions. My advice is to approach this work casually sideways, and then perhaps you will be able to appreciate the movie’s amateurism as part of its charm, a film so uncontrollably likeable and frequently hilarious that it becomes evident that Bottle Rocket (above any of his other films) was made purely for the fun and love of the art without anything to lose. I mean, I’m not saying it’s a masterpiece—far from it—but it certainly did not deserve to be the monstrous commercial failure it is now considered, not his best but probably his most underrated all the same. Basically put, for a debut film, it’s incredible. And even by Anderson standards, it’s still pretty wonderful.

Recurring actors: Kumar Pallana; Andrew Wilson; Luke Wilson; Owen Wilson

06. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

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Famous ocean documentary filmmaker, Steve Zissou, embarks with his crew to hunt down the potentially mythical Jaguar Shark, but in real life, they only manage to produce a feature which drastically tore viewer opinion down the middle—way more than any other Anderson, in fact. Critics continue to ridicule the laborious pacing and aimlessly self-serving plot, which they claim drenches the footage with so much clutter that everything sinks to the bottom of its own dubious ocean, bombing heroically at the box office as it did so. However, many fans have hung on to it for dear life, happy to drown with the film, and rightfully praising such factors as Murray’s mopey performance, the incredible Portuguese renditions of David Bowie classics, and the infinitely strange world only Wes could possibly manifest. In time, said conflict granted the title a proud ‘cult classic’ stamp of approval, but personally, I am undecided. I appreciate how humourous Life Aquatic is without relying on any jokes, sure, yet am also painfully aware of how much tightening would be needed in order for this piece to compete with the man’s greater works... which is why I'm basically copping-out by calling it underrated, as well as calling it overrated, without enough confidence to make a solid statement either way. Ignore me, carry on.

Recurring actors: Waris Ahluwalia; Seymour Cassel; Willem Dafoe; Michael Gambon; Jeff Goldblum; Anjelica Huston; Bill Murray; Owen Wilson

05. Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

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It’s difficult to imagine a better director to take on a Roald Dahl classic above Wes Anderson. As a self proclaimed superfan of the author, our hero was respectfully careful to avoid getting lost within his standard bizarreness when re-imagining this memorable tale of one dapper fox slipping back into his wild old chicken-stealing ways. Rather, it seems to me that Anderson’s primary focus was one of enjoyment, providing a lively-paced gem, stuffed with an excess of comical chaos so pure in its morals that it can keep our younger generations locked to their seats, yet with enough wit to engage even the oldest of curious viewers. However, that is not to say that this otherworldly film doesn’t have Wes’ neurosis smothered all over it, as it playfully skips far away from your standard CGI type animation, preferring to speed along with a jerky, tattered style, which is quite refreshing in our Pixar flooded world, and may even contain enough quirk to make Quentin Blake visually aroused. Basically put, as Wes’ first ever animated feature, it was an enormous success, perhaps the greatest of his lesser films, and if nothing else, a perfectly sad reminder of how few decent Dahl interpretations there have been in recent times.

Recurring actors: Adrien Brody; Willem Dafoe; Michael Gambon; Bill Murray; Jason Schwartzman; Owen Wilson

04. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

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Out of every title on offer here, I consider The Royal Tenenbaums to be the most Anderson Anderson film ever made. With more than enough broken characters in the dysfunctional Tenenbaums family to invest in (with a quick special nod to Gene Hackman’s universally praised performance as the Dad who ruined them all), this film is central to the director’s trademarks, summing up all the ingredients only Wes can amalgamate quite so weirdly, and then executing them into one impenetrable ball of uncomfortable amusement. Try these on for size: a quirk overload which is as absurd as it is touching; a subtle bleakness which almost brings shame to your laughter; a sweetness in the misery; an imaginative discomfort stirred by calculated pokes to the rib cage; an unshakeable sense of unsettling oddness which perpetually provides a slight wince throughout; and (above all else) a story with an impressive heart, one which recognises its own faults, seeks answers in hope of repairing old mistakes, and wishes nothing more than to leave the world a better place. Certainly, this is not my favourite from the catalogue, but it is arguably the ideal entry point for the uninitiated witness, because if you don’t understand this movie, you don’t deserve Wes Anderson anyway.

Recurring actors: Seymour Cassel; Anjelica Huston; Bill Murray; Kumar Pallana; Andrew Wilson; Luke Wilson; Owen Wilson

03. The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

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If The Royal Tenenbaums is the archetype of an Anderson contribution, then The Grand Budapest Hotel is surely the pinnacle, an accumulation of everything he’s learned, nailed together like some sort of an awkwardly shimmering summary, except without repeating past pathways, opting to rather step a little bit skew whilst verifying the man’s genius as a director who no longer had anything left to prove. Telling a story within a story within a story within a story (?) this is an adventure of friendship shared between a hotel’s legendary caretaker and his lobby boy, running along as an offbeat comedy where so much happens that it’d be impossible to justly sum it up in the short time we have here. However, what’s important to note is that this film ticks every single stylish arty box we have come to demand, propelled by a captivating pace which never risks its rich elegance, undoubtedly the most refined and mature film Wes has ever achieved, indicating that perhaps (as the most recent entry on this list) Mr Anderson may somehow have the best left in him yet. Some may argue that the ridiculous whimsies and tragically dark undertones aren’t quite as potent as his reputation would tell, but the absolute widespread acclaim did not seem to notice, as everyone took it in turns to throw awards at Anderson's head until he could finally build himself that fort out of accolades and play an accordion all secluded by his lonesome.

Recurring actors: Waris Ahluwalia; Bob Balaban; Adrien Brody; Willem Dafoe; Jeff Goldblum; Harvey Keitel; Bill Murray; Edward Norton; Jason Schwartzman; Tilda Swinton; Owen Wilson

02. Rushmore (1998)

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Anderson’s second feature, Rushmore, not only launched the man’s artistic ventures into mass critical awareness, but also set an unimaginably high precedent for all his future works. This particular story begins with Max Fischer, an eccentric, overly-ambitious, misfit school student with everything going for him except passable grades. Said character is somehow presented as obnoxious as possible yet is still somewhat likeable, which was such an impressive performance from Schwartzman that it single-handedly created his acting career, and remains as (arguably) my favourite individual in all of Wes’ arsenal. However, the true magic arrives with Herman Blume, a disillusioned middle-aged businessman casually under-acted by Bill Murray so convincingly that this is generally lauded as the best Anderson/Murray collaboration ever—which says a lot, because the man is in all of them (bar one). These two unforgettable personalities forge a tight friendship, followed by a severe rivalry after they both develop a crush on the same teacher at the school, igniting an exceptional chemistry between these lovestruck boys as they blur the distance of their ages, reminding us all of our own adolescence and boyhood-meets-adulthood conflicts. Which made me a very excited human being. I wasn't alone either, as this masterpiece was essentially where Wes birthed his own genre, and he continues to stand as the only dude who can execute quite this way.

Recurring actors: Seymour Cassel; Bill Murray; Kumar Pallana; Jason Schwartzman; Andrew Wilson; Luke Wilson; Owen Wilson

01. Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

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When I first watched this tender romance between two intelligent twelve-year-old kiddies who opted to run away from the unpleasantries of society, well, my heart just broke and I felt legitimate physical pain. The cause for this agony was the fierce reminder of the strength of youth; the certainty and courage granted by naivety, sadly crawling towards its eventual demise by the curse of maturity; and the unadulterated magic of pubescent love, which only the innocent heart of a child could harness and follow through without apprehension. And then, by the endearing trickery of Wes Anderson's fingertips, you quickly forget that these adorable juveniles have essentially abandoned their parents and escaped into the dangerous wilderness—a terrible idea from any viewpoint and not something we should be encouraging whatsoever. And yet, you find yourself supporting their blind mission, yearning for their undeveloped connection to survive these odds, all the while suffering in devastation that you are now too old to ever recreate such a precious encounter. Mix this with the highest calibre of all-star casting, the most joyously dry of all performances, the perfectly original storyline, and the pedantically detailed visuals which are polished to glistening purity... and you have once again described every Anderson in existence. However, this specific gift stands out by its ability to crush nostalgia in a way none of his other projects have achieved, effortlessly standing as my favourite Anderson of all time due to my own stupid emotions, while I try recall when my life became so complicated and I managed to loose all the answers.

Recurring actors: Bob Balaban; Harvey Keitel; Bill Murray; Edward Norton; Jason Schwartzman; Tilda Swinton

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Worst To Best: Studio Ghibli

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Worst to Best: Sonic Youth

I could tell you the arduous tale of how I was first abused by the mighty Sonic Youth's apparatus, only to learn after many moons how to connect on their level, and then finally allowing them impregnate me with their carnivorous fungus which grew into my brain and forced them as my favourite band in the world. But I won't bore you with that story, because we don't have enough time or fancy words left in us. However, I will confess this article to be one of the most challenging bits I've ever had to write. This burden was not primarily strenuous due to the group's coarse nature (as I am sure most of you would assume), but rather due to their stubborn sound which doesn't exactly stray too far away from a rough epicentre, building a discography of fairly similar entries which were difficult to individualise and even tougher to order. I mean, there are only so many times one can use the word 'noisy' to describe something, am I right?

Which is why I wasn't initially all that confident about this post's execution whatsoever, spending many nights in a deep worry that the article on hand was far too sloppy to release outloud to the public. But that's when I realised, within the context, 'sloppy' was probably what the band would have preferred after all. And I guess, when it really came down to it, that wasn't the main point. The main point was that Thurston Moore cheated on Kim Gordon, and now Sonic Youth are no longer a band. Personally, I could only deal with my agony though this very cathartic release, and it was the least I could do for them. It was the least I could do for myself.

But first, there is one rule, listen closely. Only full length Sonic Youth studio albums were considered for this list. That means no film scores, no EPs (of which, their self titled debut definitely falls under, regardless of what the band may tell you), and none of those weird SYR releases (because I'm not quite ready for that just yet) were allowed in. If this ruling is satisfactory enough for you, then we are off to a good start! Please forgive me as I wreck everything along the way. Shoot:

16. NYC Ghosts & Flowers (2000)

Experimental Art Noise Rock
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Unlike anything the band had faced before, NYC Ghosts & Flowers’ birth was immediately treated with a global level of opposition. To some degree, everyone agreed that this monotone offering felt a little less inspired and lazier than the difficult heart attacks we had already paid for, our monitors currently beating at a regular pace, or even flatlining from ... boredom? Sonic Youth? Impossible! That said, time has been good to this lifeless album, as many have weakened their initial stance, sorrowful for their misjudgement, now faster to defend this anxious darkness as one delicately alluring and spooky record rather than any of the direct grotesque pretensions we had perpetually demanded in the past. And I can appreciate both sides of this argument. However, my core problem with NYC is exactly that: the contrasting opinions from fans. When I heard about the quote unquote 'worst Sonic Youth album ever,' I was praying for an unbearable car crash, one where the noise-line was pushed far too far, and the 'terrible' label really hid the word 'terror' beneath. Instead, I found something much neater and polished than anything they’d done previously, which was a refreshing listen by all means, except too ordinary, too normal, and way too insignificant. That said, it did set the pace for the fantastic spree of albums which followed in the 2000s, so I guess we can grant it a little slack there.

Sides: The drastic style change of NYC has been credited to the theft of all Sonic Youth's instruments during a 1999 tour. Certain irreplaceable modified equipment was now gone, forcing the band to start over and write this album using a completely different approach. But even if I hold such a negative opinion over the move, I have to admit the title sums the record up better than I ever could: NY (the birthplace of their sound) Ghosts (haunting and eerie) & Flowers (pretty and graceful). Poetic!

15. Confusion Is Sex (1983)

No Wave Noise Rock
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In many ways, Sonic Youth’s debut is the most dangerous album they’ve ever made. The band were young, and they had absolutely nothing. No money. No label. No one to impress. No one to tell them what to do. And not a goddamn thing to lose. Throw a bunch of experimental misfits like this into a budget studio, and what did you think was going happen? Well, I’ll tell you what happened: the ugliest, harshest, most undeveloped noise from the whole Youth catalogue. They wrecked their tuning by stabbing their instruments with screwdrivers, whilst causing an endless repetitive hum of hypnotic drone until the strain of dissonance could only be cried out as some sorta rambling mess of one excruciating endurance test. And while such a stressful roughness does work surprisingly often in their favour (The Stooges’ I Wanna Be Your Dog cover, for example, is Gordon at her utmost viciously expressive, and if Kurt Cobain heard Shaking Hell back in ‘83, Nirvana would make a little more sense now), it's still repeatedly agreed upon as perhaps the band’s most forgettable album—fearlessly innovative, certainly, but far too unripe to stand against what followed.

Sides: Later copies of this album came with the Kill Yr. Idols EP as a bonus, which was just as intense and amateur, yet an appreciated addition to the experience all the same. Recommended.

14. The Whitey Album [Ciccone Youth] (1988)

Experimental Industrial Noise Rock
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Only Sonic Youth could attempt to parody a mainstream disco album and fuck it up so magnificently that it turned out to be the most interesting and experimental release from their entire inventory. Drum machines looped out hip hop beats; synths and samples blurred into the passive guitarwork; and the trademark Youth noise naturally found a way to sneak into the program, leaving us with a band who shed all of their rules (even when they didn’t have that many to begin with), and released the only entry on this list which actually sounds like the era it came from. And yet ... this is not the strangest aspect of The Whitey Album whatsoever. No, what truly sets this exceptionally weird record sideways, is its troubling infatuation with superstar Madonna (the hottest thang back in ‘88). Some of her songs were reinterpreted for the project, her face adorned the cover, and the band actually changed their name to Ciccone Youth (being Madonna’s birth surname) for this release only, which was utterly ridiculous. So, yes, while we can forgivably disregard this piece as essentially a joke album, it is still one perfectly executed joke, and I love it more than most.

Sides: Just to prove how loose this record is, Kim performed Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love at her local karaoke booth, and decided to put it on the album. Who the fuck does that? It’s actually pretty good though, one of the most normal things she has ever sung.

13. Bad Moon Rising (1984)

Experimental No Wave Noise Rock
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Probably the most impressive facet of Bad Moon Rising, is how differently it compares to their Confusion Is Sex debut—especially when considering the mere one year age gap between them. Of course, it’s no secret that the word 'noisy' defines Sonic Youth (which still stands sturdy here), but this was the album where said noise was not shoved out just for the sake of it, but rather, focused into actual songwriting, building a cleaner and more standard musical basis, then only utilising said noise as icing on top ... more or less ... kinda. Such an approach was a drastic step towards the SY we know and love today: less hardcore, but still undomesticated, deranged by an overall bondage of poetic depression and slow horror, all the while exploring the 'dark side of America'. You know, like Charles Manson. Or Satanism. Or Halloween. Or the early European settlers' encounters with Native Americans. Just average stuff like that. Uglify the subject even further with textured segues which work as seamless interludes, connecting the whole dismal atmosphere as one singular unit, and you have the very first Sonic Youth album that feels somewhat important, indicating that these New York degenerates may have been onto something all along.

Sides: This album is as old as me and, yes, it was titled after that Creedence Clearwater Revival song. Some versions of the record came with four bonus tracks, which are a decent enough fit for the most part. I also thought Thurston's lyrics on I’m Insane that go “inside my head my dog’s a bear” actually went “inside my head my dog’s embarrassed,” which I preferred.

12. The Eternal (2009)

Alternative Rock
Spotify

When a band has been together for three decades, certain inevitable factors come into play. One good factor, would be the group’s built-up chemistry which an outsider could easily misconstrue as telepathy, and on The Eternal, Sonic Youth have acquired just that. These guys have never gelled so well, this album being their tightest ever, coming across like a collaboration rather than just members presenting their own compositions and allowing the others to molest them with static. And this solidarity seemed like a warm, fun place to be. On the negative side, however, is the unavoidable factor of getting older. And while Sonic Youth have aged respectfully by rocking more aggressively on this record than almost their entire career, it still falls into a much more directly conventional and accessible vibe, hardly any noise now, rather sitting comfortably on the modern alternative couch instead of blasting it the fuck apart like before. More tragic still, is that this piece ended everything, as the last Youth record ever :( The band broke up shortly after, far from at a high point, leaving their tale all that more sour. But even with this considered, no one could deny Eternal as a great album, and while some call it slightly unimaginative and nothing new, it's still all we got, so take it and shut up.

Sides: After the band's contract with Geffen Records expired, the two parties went their separate ways, and Matador snapped them up. I imagine the new label were pretty bleak when they only got one album for their money, but hey, at least they were granted the honour of being the first to announce the news of the split, delivering the blow which informed us all that the godfathers of modern noise-punk were gone.

11. A Thousand Leaves (1998)

Experimental Psychedelic Noise Post-Rock
Spotify

Having earned a fair profit from their 1995 Lollapalooza festival appearance, our heroes decided to build their own studio which came with the luxury of an unlimited time schedule and less people to answer to. However, many consider said luxury to have been A Thousand Leaves’ curse, removing the urgency with hookless improvisational jams stretched out to unnecessary lengths, void of all punches, and slowly going through the motions as one tediously dreary journey all the way up Sonic Youth’s own ass. And because I personally prefer my meal to come dosed in a splatter of feedback, I too agree that this endeavour is one unstimulating and energy-less exercise in murky psychedelic waffles, which doesn’t always work and is not one of their best. But even with that in mind, it still boasts its hefty share of merit, as this unresponsive album opts to target the groove above all else, hushing the disarray by wearing the band’s age without shame—a midlife record, but not a midlife crisis, which is a difficult thing to pull off. The result is a rare, refreshing, and oft-overlooked bullet in their arsenal, with almost enough pearls to warrant the excessive timeframe it demands. Almost.

Sides: To prove how productive the band were at this stage of their career (or, rather, evidence as to why they sounded so exhausted), they released three highly experimental EPs around here too, namely Anagrama, Slaapkamers met slagroom, and Invito al ĉielo, all of which were recorded at the same time as this album. Another interesting goody from this release, is that the video for Sunday starred Macaulay Culkin, of all people

10. Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star (1994)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify

One could argue that the early-90s accusations of betrayal and commercialism had begun to weigh burdensome on Sonic Youth, threatening their integrity and forcing their hand to produce something which somewhat harked back to the good old days. And Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star was that response. However, instead of relying on their trademark turbulent onslaught or absurd looneyness, they confused everyone by confidently presenting a nonchalant piece of melodic noise, which was a dreamier and quieter alleyway above any they’d dared to explore before. The short songs spat plenty of ideas which came and went so fast that nothing had a chance to develop into anything substantial, but that’s exactly what made this subdued record so unique, and is exactly why I hug this album in such high regards. Unfortunately, not everyone felt the same way, as new fans were overwhelmed and had a hard time penetrating the dense clamour, while old fans had already given up a long time ago, placing this release in a very awkward position indeed. However, hindsight has been kinder to the experiment, countless critics considering it one of Youth’s most underrated projects, and many praising it as a defining mid-90s alternative triumph. Well, that's ok then.

Sides: To save money, Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star was recorded over the band's previously used master tapes, and so if you turn up your volume real loud, you can just about hear their album Sister leak through during some of the quieter parts. This is also Sonic Youth's first album to feature a hidden track, which itself sounded much more like old SY than the whole album put together.

09. Sister (1987)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify

Oh my God! How is this possible?! The classic Sister? One of the highest regarded masterpieces from Sonic Youth’s career?? Sometimes even the highest regarded??? So low on this list???? Blasphemy! Let’s stop reading this stupid article right now! Let’s send the writer offensive messages! Let’s question his dedication to the cause! Alright alright, calm down everybody, it’s only an album, Jesus. Look: I have tried to explain multiple times as to why I consider this record to be the most overrated on offer here, but then I realised nobody has convincingly explained to me anything otherwise. Yes, I acknowledge its influence on other artists. I applaud how its edges point towards a more traditional sound (giving it great purpose on the overall Youth timeline). I idolise the warmth of its analogue production (my favourite aspect about this release, in fact). It's melodic. It's aggressive. It’s a fucking great album, I know this! But the issue is that its own reputation sinks it, surviving from occasional peaks of powerful genius, but frequently coming across slightly dated, and definitely not as superior to the rest of Youth’s catalogue as so many seem to think it is. On a normal day, it simply passes me by, and I guess I’m sorry about that? What do you want me to do? Lie? Although I happily admit that there will probably come a day when I'll regret leaving it here, but oh well. Moving on as fast as possible...

Sides: Science fiction author Philip K. Dick claims to have always been haunted by his fraternal twin sister who died shortly after their birth. Which sucks, sure, but it did prove to be a decent inspiration for this album.

08. Rather Ripped (2006)

Alternative Indie Rock
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As I hope this list will accurately illustrated in time, Sonic Youth were always a band who enjoyed fiddling with the line between accessible and non-accessible music. And it’s this notion which makes Rather Ripped so distinguishable, unchallenged as the most radio-rock and commercially sympathetic product in their entire backlog. The ear-bleeding noise and endurance-teasing experimentation were completely eradicated from this record (and this record alone), leaving nothing but a pure indie rock album behind, cautiously cleaned to a borderline poppy sleek, and even featuring some actual melodies almost sung in tune! Wow! Naturally, many fanatics felt forsaken by this straightforward direction, but those with an open heart appreciated Rather Ripped as perhaps the easiest entry point for those troublesome friends who were unaccustomed to guitar torture and just “didn’t get” our beloved idols. As for me, it’s one of the Youth releases I defend most firmly, simply because it proves the band weren’t a one-dissonant-pony, and in fact had the talent to pull off a pleasantly songful alternative album all along (and, what’s more, even better than most). That said, the sound suited them almost too well, so perhaps it's for the best they didn't pursue this pathway any further, lest our treasured secrets actually became popular.

Sides: The name Rather Ripped came from a Californian record store, chosen above the working titles Sonic Life and Do You Believe in Rapture?. And as it stands, my favourite review for this record ever came from RYM user Fotzepolitic, who called this his "mum's favourite Sonic Youth album.”

07. Goo (1990)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify

Predating the Nirvana explosion by one year, Sonic Youth had already started to harvest their own brand of unpredictable success in 1990. Affectionately known as their ‘sell out’ album, Goo marks when our band went major, signing to Geffen and releasing the first slickly produced record of their career. And while many purists winced at the more digestible sound, most of us were relieved to find that no amount of money could truly tame the anxious disobedience of the Youth, rather only polish the scene so we could view the wreck in higher definition. The end result is one of their most memorable releases which works as an excellent entry point for virgin listeners, complete with some of their catalogue’s greatest songs. The haunting Tunic, for example. Or how about Kool Thing, their most famous single, standing as the pinnacle of the super loud/fast/mad riff and feedback approach, yet somehow distorting the message into a legitimate (almost commercial) rock song—exactly what they were always trying to achieve. That said, something about Goo doesn’t quite sit right with me. Too cheerful? Too comical? Too childlike? The unfortunate 'title track' which is one of their worst songs ever, warping my memory’s associations into a ball of cringe? Choose your own adventure. But also don't listen to me, it fucking rocks.

Sides: The cover artwork is an illustration by Raymond Pettibon, based on a paparazzi photo of the witnesses to the Moors murders, namely Maureen Hindley and David Smith. It has gone on to be pretty much the representative image of the band, as this blog's very lead image would indicate. In other news, this album cost $150,000 to make, which was a fucking fortune for the band at the time.

06. Sonic Nurse (2004)

Alternative Indie Noise Rock
Spotify

When Sonic Nurse came out, plenty praised it as the best Youth since (x) or (y) or (whatever other renowned SY record you want), indisputably appreciated as one of the band’s greatest latter day creations. Said applause rang loudest for the record’s songful balance, one which achieved the perfect harmony between clutter and delicacy, and an effort which actually sounded like a real album for a change. There was no getting lucky or forcing nervous accolade by veering too far into the dark abrasiveness here. Instead of hiding under layers of feedback, they rather utilised their noise to enhance an emotion, like a paint job instead of a centerpiece. It was uncomplicated, the snug place in the middle of a team who had developed into something more musical, allowing the process to evolve naturally without jump-starting ideas via bursts of clashes and shocks. Thurston continued his trend of improving per release. Gordon has perhaps never sung better than on I Love You Golden Blue. The album title was perfect. The artwork was perfect. And while a few moaners mumbled some mehs of opposition (boring? familiar? standard indie rock?), you won’t hear any such words from me, as I consider this album to be the closest Sonic Youth came to releasing a classic without quite getting there.

Sides: Kim Gordon and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream is about Mariah Carey's nervous breakdown, originally titled Mariah Carey and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream, but changed for obvious reasons. Another interesting song title would be Dude Ranch Nurse, which was also the name of a Richard Prince photographic series. The man was known for his Nurse Paintings series too, where this cover art came from. Circles!

05. EVOL (1986)

Experimental Noise Rock
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On their third album, Sonic Youth progressed their intentions of sluggishly approaching a more melodic alternative sound, which one could almost suspiciously accuse of commercialism if it weren’t for that pesky detached noise which saturated the drabby material surrounding them, weighing their bodies down, causing lethargy during an already gloomy journey. And it sounded wonderful. Why wouldn't it? For this was the point where the band had started to take their game much more seriously. They had just hired drummer Steve Shelly, whose accomplished percussion patterns enhanced their message immeasurably, right until the very end of their career. They built a dimly lit trips of aggressive-less violence which was as creepy and grim, as it was disinterested and abstract, as it was beautiful and atmospheric. Thurston in particular really came into his own here, sounding more confident than ever, completely dominating this album’s vocal duties with his poetic musings and monotone deliveries (perfect for this particular mood). And they packaged the whole experience with arguably the greatest artwork of their career (still). It’s no wonder, then, that EVOL is almost always regarded as Youth’s first 'masterpiece', and even if I consider it a touch hyped-up, it has completely earned the title.

Sides: After Minutemen's bassist Mike Watt lost his band member and friend D. Boom to a car accident, he was reluctant to play music ever again. However, the Youth convinced him to perform on the track In the Kingdom #19 (coincidentally, a song about a car crash), and the experience was so enjoyable, that he credited this very recording as a major influence to his return to the industry.

04. Murray Street (2002)

Alternative Indie Noise Rock
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In the midst of recording this album, those evil plane attacks hit the Twin Towers, and the Murray Street sessions crashed down like the buildings themselves. Our band halted their studio work, and instead focused their starpower on admirably performing benefit shows to help the tragedy in their city. The influence such events had on the resumed recordings some time later is often hypothesised yet never confirmed, but everyone agreed that whatever happened, this was one of the Youth’s greatest in almost a decade, or perhaps even ever. The basic structures and enticing grace gave the album an uncharacteristic consistency throughout, keeping your body steady and keeping your mind settled. It was a refined and concentrated type of welcoming persuasion, hiding the ominous thoughts and exhausted cracks of ageing underneath unconventional modesty by submitting a summary album rather than one of innovation, clearing the stage for who they were now, and who they wanted to be. And yet, perhaps the most surprising aspect of all, was that Murray Street was a flawless record from a band who built their successes on flawed music, proving that between this, Ripped, and Nurse, the group had some intriguing spunk left in them still, which once again leaves the break-up all that more heartbreaking and difficult to deal with.

Sides: Remarkably, the most interesting features of Murray Street had nothing to do with Thurston (who otherwise dominated this record) or Kim (who is disappointedly pushed to the end with fairly generic contributions), but rather with the other participants. For not only was this the first SY album to feature Jim O'Rourke as an official fifth member, but Lee Ranaldo's Karen Revisited composition is probably the best damn thing on offer here. It is also worth noting that this (tied with Rather Ripped) is Sonic Youth's highest rated album on Metacritic as we speak, with an 82%.

03. Dirty (1992)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify

After the Nevermind atom bomb obliterated all of music everywhere, there was a mad rush following to find the next Nirvana, and all hot bets were placed directly on Sonic Youth. It made sense, as they were massively inspirational to Kurt, and were already signed to the same label, Geffen. To increase their chances, Nevermind producer Butch Vig was promptly hired to enrich the soil, tighten the wobbles, and apply just enough Seattle grunge scene pressure to hopefully cash-in on Nirvana’s recent success. And I honestly feel Sonic Youth gave it their best shot, attempting to sell-out, but unable to, simply because their brains weren’t wired that way. They were far too raw, too juvenile, and too fundamentally punk to be slicked down by some fancy production, instead spitting out (probably their most aptly titled record) Dirty, an angry album complete with political messages and feminist anthems, biting into the grunge movement rather than imitating it, and then choking on the blood. Naturally, something like this didn’t sell as well as the execs had hoped, but it still stands as one of the greatest releases at the epicentre of SY’s heyday—even if some spoilsports called it 'untrue to themselves' (whatever that meant).

Sides: Still on the Nirvana topic, it is interesting to note that the grunge kings signed to Geffen after Sonic Youth suggested they should join the family. When Nevermind was ready for release, the label hoped it would sell around 250,000 units, based on how many copies Youth's Goo had sold. 24 million something later, and it's no wonder they were disappointed with Dirty's lack of success, Geffen Records executive Mark Kates even once stating that the singles he chose from the album were "one of the biggest professional mistakes of my life". Regardless, I did call Dirty my favourite Sonic Youth back in 2012, as well as my 30th favourite record ever, so that's gotta count for something, right, Geffen?

02. Washing Machine (1995)

Experimental Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify

A year before Washing Machine drifted out, Kim and Thurston had their first (and only) child, Coco Gordon Moore, and by all accounts, the new role of parenthood dominated this album’s aura like a protective blanket. The afterglow of childbirth had slowed their tempos down to a patient calm, as they wandered aimlessly throughout this unfamiliar playing field, slightly unsure as to where they might be going, but aware of the surrounding open space required to allow their growing baby to breathe. That said, do not misconstrue this new melodic approach as some sort of landmark where our punk couple turned soft, as this is still a difficult formula to digest, standing firm as one of their most proudly anti-commercial offerings from the 90s, perhaps even resembling a sad washing machine itself, as it soaks the colours out of everything in a watery cycle, hypnotically slurring out its feelings with no regard to your time or quarters. In other words, it is an underrated masterpiece which somewhat steps back towards Youth’s more classic sound and welcomes us with love into this cold, scary world filled with darkness and sorrow. Oh, and please don’t even get me started on Diamond Sea. Jesus.

Sides: Did you know that this was the first Sonic Youth album where Gordon exclusively played guitar, resulting in a three-guitar and drums lineup? Did you know that Kim Deal from the Pixies featured on the incredible song Little Trouble Girl? Did you know that the album's cover photo only crops the heads off of the two fans because the band had no idea who they were and couldn't get their permission? Did you know that Sonic Youth actually considered changing their name to Washing Machine for this release, but the label thought that was crazy and said no? NOW YOU KNOW.

01. Daydream Nation (1988)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify

Surprise! Ok, sure, there are a few wanky elitists who claim some other Sonic Youth record to be their best, but the fact is that they are wrong, and 100% of people agree (rounded off to closest integer). So excuse me while I enthusiastically suck this album’s dick and swallow, but Daydream Nation is where the band became gods. They trashed our faces with an onslaught of high-energy avant-rock, perfectly crafted into a lo-fi noise which screamed from an army of invigorated riffs that tore indie music right down the middle. It was less abstract. It was much tighter. It had no filler. It had no pointless meandering. It was just straight-to-the-point melodic filth which came across more like a best-of compilation over anything else. Because of these factors, the intoxicating masterpiece was worshipped as an instant classic from its very first day of release, but its legacy has gone on to outgrow itself, now considered a definitive milestone of 80s rock, as relevant and important today as it ever was, and inarguably one of the greatest albums ever made. And I simply do not have the confidence to argue against that, so here we are.

Sides: Check this out: Rolling Stone Magazine called Daydream Nation the 328th greatest album ever, as well as the 45th greatest album of the 80s. Guitarist UK called it the 11th most essential guitar album ever. Spin Magazine called it the 13th greatest album from 1985 to 2010, as well as the 9th best alternative album ever. Pitchfork called it the best album of the 80s, handsdown. And it has already been added to the National Recording Registry by the Library of Congress. Thank you very much.

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