Originally Written: 01/04/10
If I say "naughty rockstar", and you think of stories about Ozzy Osbourne eating pigeons; Marilyn Manson removing ribs so he can blow himself (he didn't btw); Mötley Crüe having sex with everything that moves; or Tupac committing drive-by's with his homies... you are in for a treat.
Because these shock-artists and onstage personas are NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING in comparison to the horror tales I'm about to tell you. Cradle Of Filth might use images of crucified virgins, but have they ever actually killed anyone? Thom Yorke might whine about depression but has he ever had voices in his head telling him to hurt himself? I don't think so.
These are the top-20 100% authentic most FUCKED UP individuals in the world of music. But be warned, some of these stories might make you laugh, some might make you cry, some might make you puke - but NONE of it should be tried at home or anywhere. I also don't promote such behavior, but it makes one hell of a good story.
Read:
20. Richey Edwards
Manic Street Preachers got pretty famous, and I never liked them. However, their guitarist/lyricist Richey was a character of note. He started off as their driver and ended up in the forefront of the band, which is any roadie's wet dream. Never mind the fact that he had no musical talent whatsoever, and often mimed his guitar playing on stage.
But such details aren't important, because he was "deep", right? He was a cutter (like so many are these days) and often publicly expressed his love for self mutilation. In fact, once he got into a heated debate with NME journalist Steve Lamacq, who challenged Richey's authenticism claiming that they weren't "real". Richey carved the words "4 Real" onto his arm which required 17 stitches to fix. Click here to see the bloody scene, it's pretty fucking real.
He also loved to burn himself with cigarettes and eventually ended up at the The Priory mental institution. He was pretty depressed, so they say.
Then on the 1 Feb 1995... he vanished. Gone, gone, without a trace. And despite various supposed sightings, he was never actually seen again, and has been officially presumed dead since Nov 2008. Where'd ya go Richey??
19. Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Best known for his song I Put A Spell On You which he doesn't remember recording. But we remember it, especially because it has been covered by Marilyn Manson, Nick Cave, Iggy Pop, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Ray Charles and Nina Simone.
His second most famous song was Constipation Blues, which he would sing on stage from a toilet.
Dig a little deeper, and you will learn that he was quite a weird guy. According to the documentary "I Put a Spell On Me" he was tortured during World War II and retaliated by blowing his chief tormentors head off by taping a grenade to the guy's mouth and pulling the pin.
However, the reason I put him on this list was that he fathered 57 children, all of which he had no contact with par one daughter. Following his death (a botched surgery to remove an aneurysm was the cause), one of his final wishes was that all his kids got contacted. A now defunct website was set-up and received 2000 hits a day, but I don't believe they were all located. I tried to claim I was one of his kiddies, but apparently I was too white. Racism!!!
18. Per "Dead" Yngve Ohlin
Yes, his stage name was "Dead". Painfully unoriginal, but very fitting as you are about to find out. I don't want to give anything away, but yeah, he's dead.
In 1984, I was born. REPRESENT. But also, a Norwegian black metal band named Mayhem started making music, and they are still going to this day. They have gone through so many member changes it's disorientating, but none of them are as notorious as Dead.
According to his band mates, he was very distant and to himself, never feeling very alive. Which is the formula to every goth I have ever met. He also cut himself with broken glass on stage, often amongst pig and sheep heads on stakes. This went on for 3 years until Dead realised he was actually Alive, and slit his wrists until he couldn't slit his wrists no more. Then he blew his brain out with a shotgun. Literally. His brain was pretty much still intact but on the outside. His suicide note apologised for firing a gun indoors and asked readers to please excuse the blood. What a swell guy!
His band mates found him, and instead of calling the police, went and bought a disposable camera to take photos of the scene. 'Cos like, what are friends for?
Eventually the photo was used as one of their album covers, which you can see here. NSFW, or anywhere else.
17. Vince Taylor
As the frontman for The Playboys, Vince will be remembered forever for a few different reasons. One of these reasons would be his song Brand New Cadillac, which was covered by The Clash on their epically legendary classic album London Calling. Another reason would be his stints playing as a studio musician with Frank Zappa and Jimi Hendrix.
More likely, he will be remembered for his excessive drug use which lead to much erratic behavior and a downward sprial. Sometimes he would play a show alright, other times he wouldn't be able to get a note out, which resulted from the band firing him once or twice.
Something he will definitely be remembered for was whilst playing a large show in London, he declared to the crowd that he was biblical prophet Matthew. Shortly afterwards he quit his band and joined a religious movement. He spent his last years as an airplane mechanic.
But how most of us will remember him is by the character Ziggy Stardust, who Vince was by admission of Bowie, the main inspiration. Dude, that rocks.
16. Leadbelly
Leadbelly was awesome. His tracks have touched so many people that they have been covered from such diverse acts like Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Grateful Dead, The White Stripes and The Doors, to name but a few. You probably know his work best from when Nirvana covered Where Did You Sleep Last Night on Unplugged in NY.
Beyond music, he was a violent man by nature, and had many issues with the law. In 1915 he was convicted for carrying a gun, and got sent to jail. He escaped and changed his name, but 3 years later he killed one of his relatives and got locked up proper, sentenced to 7-35 years.
After serving 7 years, his bare minimum, he wrote a song to Governor Pat Morris Neff which highlighted his religious beliefs and his desire to be released. The Governor himself being a religious man was touched, and when reviewing Leadbelly's file took note that he had been very well behaved. And with that, released him back into the world.
To me this is amazing. He used the persuasion of music to get out of prison, and that is beyond cool.
5 years later, he stabbed a guy and went directly back to jail. Sinner! This round he recorded hundreds of songs whilst incarcerated which predates this popular method used by hip-hop stars til this day. He got let out for good behaviour after serving his minimum sentence once again. Good on ya Leadbelly! Stick it to the man brother!!
“One of the few ex-cons who recorded a popular children’s album.” - Bob Dylan
15. Absurd
Hailing from Germany, they are one of the best-known National Socialist black metal bands in the world, filled with white power lyrics and anti-christian messages. Which is naughty enough, but anybody can talk the talk. Absurd, on the other hand, walked the walk, then ran the ran, and then murdered somebody.
In 1993 a 15 year old boy named Sandro Beyer started spreading rumours about the band. So three of the members managed to convince the boy to meet up with them to discuss the allegations. Then they strangled him to death with an electrical chord. Obviously they got caught, and the one member Andreas Kirchner was infamously quoted saying "Oh shit, I completely fucked up my life".
However, they were all released 5 years later because they were under the age of 18 when they committed the crime. They used the gravestone of Sandro Beyer as their one album cover, which is a little tasteless if you ask anyone really. Möbus then violated his parole by flashing the Nazi salute on stage, which is illegal in Germany. He tried to escape to America, but they caught him and he served a further 4 years or so. They are all out and about again, and Absurd still continues to this day.
14. Rockbitch
Stories about bands like Led Zeppelin or Mötley Crüe and their backstage sex stories are told all over the world by little pimply-faced teenagers dreaming about being a rockstars, and me. But what about the female rockstars? Do they fuck a bunch of groupies and then snort coke off of their genitals? I fucking hope so. And if there was ever any evidence that this is so, here it is: Rockbitch.
For most of their career they were a 5-piece all girl band, some straight, some bisexual, some lesbian. They played Goth-Punk-Rock music, but this was overshadowed by their intense stage shows which got them banned in Canada and most of the UK.
How intense exactly? Well, for starters, they performed Pagan rituals with various skulls and other such things in between playing their songs. They all performed naked and had no problem fucking each other with dildo's and beer bottles for the entertainment of the audience. Which is way above the call of duty if you ask me. There were blow-up dolls and there was fisting. One member's only role in the band was to be the rest of the group's sex slave.
But one of their most notable aspects was called The Golden Condom, which they would throw into the audience. Whoever caught it, male or female, would be brought backstage and one or more members would fuck the shit out of them.
People have claimed that they just used sex and satanism to sell bad music, but I for one think it is is about liberation for women, as female sexuality is still not as free as it should be. Apparently Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers agrees, as it has been reported that he is a big fan of their music and political stance. Which is the adult way of saying he enjoys naked women fucking everything.
13. Vinicius "Yoñlu" Gageiro Marques
I feel like of every entry, this one was the most likely not to be included as it doesn't quite fit the theme. However, the story is relatively unknown and yet quite incredible, I felt it was my duty to spread it just a little bit further.
Imagine this: A 17-year old boy. Complex. Confused. Sensitive. Depressed in a society that just never understood him. I've heard that story before. Except Southwestern Brazilian Yoñlu just couldn't take it. In 2006 his dad found him in his bathroom, dead from carbon monoxide intoxication. His little boy had killed himself. No parent could predict such a thing, but seeing as Vinicus spent most of his time on the internet and had no real life friends, it could've been forseen in someways.
Next the suicide note was found, blaming no one for his death and explaining how it could never have been prevented.
Once the police got involved, the real life of Yoñlu began to emerge: his online person. He was a regular on many music, gaming and suicide forums, filled with posts putting himself down, personal turmoil, and an overwhelming desire to die. He was online on the suicide forum right up until his last moments, his equally depressed friends with him all the way.
Then after digging a bit deeper, his parents were not only surprised to find that Yoñlu had been writing and recording hundreds of songs, but he had also developed a small but strong cult following on the internet. Fans from England, Scotland, Belgium, Canada and North Africa would often express to him how much they loved him, to once he infamously responded "Today I came home thinking about suicide, but reading all these nice words made me postpone that."
His songs, while self loathing (even one titled Suicide) remind me of the lo-fi Frusciante work. It was undeveloped, but as his fans said, he could've been huge. Guess we will never know, as life got the best of someone once again. Posthumously "A Society in Which No Tear Is Shed Is Inconceivably Mediocre" was released. And it's a lovely piece of work.
Very sad.
12. Premature Ejaculation
The story begins with Rozz Williams, who was a busy guy. While fronting Christian Death and Shadow Project, he earned himself the title of one of the godfathers of Deathrock.
However, it was his project Premature Ejaculation which earned the place on this list. He was dating a performance artistboy named Ron Anthey, and they were both really weird and probably had weird sex and made this band. They were known to throw meatballs and eyeballs into the crowd during shows. This kind of pissed people off, but they let it slide.
Until one day, Anthey decided to eat a roadkill cat in front of the audience, and after that little incident, they found it hard to book gigs. You don't say? Dude, you ate a fucking dead cat.
Anthey still does weird performance stuff. Rozz decided to rather hang himself on April Fools day 1998. The jokes on him though. He's dead.
11. Daniel Johnston
One of the most famous people on this list, and someone I have been a proper fan of for a while. Daniel was pretty much born unstable, but after taking way too much LSD in 80s, he became full blown bipolar along with being extremely productive. In 4 years he recorded 9 albums in his home.
His weird lo-fi style didn't meet much commercial gain, but developed a solid cult following especially through other musicians. Sonic Youth, Flaming Lips, Tom Waits, Beck all covered his stuff. Matt Groening of The Simpsons fame openly calls him one of his favourite artists. Hell, Kurt Cobain called him the "greatest songwriter on Earth".
But all this mad-genius came with a price as Daniel went further and further down the rabbit hole. He became obsessed with The Devil, eyeballs and Mountain Dew soft drink to the point of wanting to be their spokesperson. But when he attacked his manager with a lead pipe, he was committed into a mental institution, and spent many years leaving and then going back. In fact, he is the only example I have ever heard of where a label (Atlantic in this case) signed someone who was put away. It was even in his contract that he didn't have to perform if his mental issues got in the way. He loved The Beatles and was so insane at one stage that he devised a plan to get them to reunite with him as the frontman.
The stories go on forever, but the one that needs to be told is about his obsession with Casper. He BELIEVED he was Casper. How much did he believe this? A lot. Once he was flying in a plane which was owned and piloted by his father. Daniel grabbed the keys out of the ignition stalling the plane, and then threw them out of the window. He believed he would fly away on his own. Luckily his dad crashed landed the plane and they both came out relatively fine.
Daniel is still around, heavily medicated and at the age of 49 still lives in the care of his parents. He plays shows now and again and with the AMAZING documentary "The Devil And Daniel Johnston", he is finally getting the recognition he deserves.
10. Joe Meek
Mr Meek was born tone-deaf and had very little musical ability when it came to actual instruments. However, he was known as a fore-runner when it came to production, being one of the first people to record instruments separately and becoming a master of compression and sampling and invented direct input bass. I think during his career he was responsible for 3 number one hits, which is impressive, because I haven't even had 1 yet.
But, of course, he became crazy. He was obsessed with The Occult and death. He would leave taperecorders in graveyards attempting to make contact with the dead, once getting the sounds of a cat's meow that he claimed was human voices begging for help. He was completely obsessed with Buddy Holly and believed that they were communicating at night even though Holly was already dead.
He became so paranoid that he thought Decca records had set up microphones in his apartment and were stealing his ideas, something he accused Phil Spector of doing over the phone.
His craziness increased when a murder took place and all homosexuals in the area were being questioned. Homsexuality was illegal in the UK at the time, and Joe loved the cock. This, coupled with excessive drug use, meant his finances started to run dry and he became very depressed. A big part of this was the fact that he had been sued by French composer Jean Ledrut who claimed Meek's biggest hit Telstar was plagarised from one of his own.
On the 3rd Feb 1967, the 8th anniversary of Buddy Holly's death, Meek murdered his landlord with a single barrel shotgun and then shot himself, dead.
3 weeks later, the court ruled that it was impossible that Meek had stolen Telstar, but of course, by that time he was gone.
09. Billy Tipton
Billy was an extremely talented jazz pianist, made albums which sold pretty well and granted him a nice little following. He had quite a few relationships with pretty girls including a stripper named Kitty Kelly and even adopted 2 sons with her. Eventually arthritis set in, and he was forced to quit the music scene and sadly died in poverty.
I know what you are waiting for. Some kind of weird twist which turns this whole story into a freak show, right? Can't you just be satisfied with a run-of-the-mill jazz story for a change? Jesus.
Well, it does so happen that there is a really peculiar twist to this story. At the age of 74, he suffered a hemorrhaging peptic ulcer. While paramedics tried (unsuccessfully) to save his life, they removed his clothes infront of his son. It was here that they all discovered for the first time that Billy was, in fact, Dorothy. A woman all along.
Billy had originally done this because of the difficulty a woman faced being taken seriously in the jazz community, but eventually completely became this alter ego. Nobody knew. Even his ex-girlfriends all claimed that their relationships were sexual, but Billy had told them that a serious car accident had badly damaged his genitals and broken some ribs, and that to protect the damaged chest he had to bind it - smooth excuse to hide your titties there Mr. Tipton.
In his will he had asked to be cremated to bury the secret forever, but his sons came out publicly with the truth. Good thing too, otherwise I wouldn't have anything to put here.
08. Carlo Gesualdo
This story is pretty famous. That said, I'd never heard of it.
Carlo was a 15th century Prince of Venosa and Count of Conza so he was rich and famous and almighty and etc. He was also somewhat of a musical fucking genius, some even going so far as to say he was the most experimental of every Renaissance composer. He is still regarded one of the most influential chromatic musicians, which is to say that his elaborations or substitutions for diatonic scale members were never repeated again in music until the 19th century. I'm going to pretend I know what that means.
Anyways, so he was hot shit, and above the law. So much so that he had no problem marrying his first cousin Donna. In turn, she had no problem cheating on him with Fabrizio Carafa, the Duke of Andria. And finally, he had no problem with murdering them both when he found out.
Murder is a kind word. He stabbed them and got his servants to stab them. It's generally agreed that whilst he was stabbing them he was shouting the words "she's not dead yet!" repeatedly. I imagine him to be dribbling as he does this. He also shot Fabrizio in the head. Once he had sufficiently mutilated their bodies, he put them outside his palace for the world to see. The good old days huh! Of course, he was beyond any form of prosecution, but fearing someone would take revenge, he ran away and made more music. He died very depressed apparently.
07. Phil Ochs
Phil was a well respected protest singer in the 60's and has been covered by such vast artists like Cher, They Might Be Giants and Eddie Vedder. The Clash even stole lyrics from him.
He also loved to drink, which aggravated some obvious underlying bipolar mental instability which eventually reared it's ugly head quite loudly. He was convinced that the FBI and CIA were keeping files on him and he expressed interest in having either Colonel Tom Parker or Colonel Sanders managing him. He always carried a weapon whether it be a hammer, a knife or a lead pipe.
In 1975 things got worse. He developed dissociative identity disorder, and believed he was now someone called John Butler Train and claimed he had killed Phil Ochs and replaced him in his body.
Eventually, this personality faded but at this point he was broke, homeless and had no problem with causing fights with anyone wherever he went.
He became obsessed with suicide, spoke about it constantly which rightfully worried his family. They took him in and got him to see a psychiatrist who diagnosed his bipolar disorder. They gave him meds which he pretended to take, but never did. And on April 9th 1976, he crossed the line and hung himself.
Possibly the most interesting thing about this is that years later, it surfaced that the FBI did infact have over 500 pages documented on Ochs. Yeaaaah, who's paranoid now bitches??
06. Kembra Pfahler
Pfafler is a one-of-a-kind multi-talented female artist. Of course music was a part of it as the lead singer of the cult glam-punk band The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black. But she is also one heck of a performance artist, directed and starred in her own movies, as well as other people's movies. Sometimes they were low budget-horror flicks, sometimes they were softcore porn.
But what really stood out for me was her appearance in the 7 minute short called "Sewing Circle". The plot is very simple: two guys sew her vagina shut. Yep. Her vagina. Sewed. Shut.
This is waaaay fucking rockstar, and is something no male can do no matter how hardcore he is. And for this... Kembra... I salute you.
05. GG Allin
The coolest thing about GG is that I'm not going to tell you about one event. I'm about to tell you his whole life story.
Born Jesus Christ Allin because his dad had vision that his kid was the second coming. They all lived in cabin with no electricity or water, and were not allowed to speak to each other. This manifested in a bunch of antisocial behaviour for GG, including attending school in drag. He stared his heroin relationship in the 80s, and played in a few bands with a rather peculiar approach to stage shows. He took laxatives before he performed, shat everywhere and would never bathe afterwards. He used to visit John Wayne Gacy (child molester and murderer) while he was on deathrow, and Gacy even painted a portrait of him.
To support himself, GG stole things and sold his rough cds, his generally accepted "classic" being Eat My Fuc, on which he individually outlined his erect cock on each cover. Performances were always cut short by venue owners or police as he destroyed equipment and got violent with himself and members. He had no problem beating women in public and tours were only stopped by jail or hospital or blood poisoning.
Then he started talking about how he was going to kill himself on stage. The date was always set on Halloween, but every time the day came around, GG would be in jail. His longest stint in prison was just under a year and a half for the rape and torture of a girl. He admitted to cutting her, burning her and drinking her blood. His defense was that it was consensual. After his release he skipped parole and kept touring, his crazy antics getting him a spot on Jerry Springer.
In 1993 GG played his last show ever which ended with him parading the streets naked with feces all over him, followed by a big group of fans. That night he overdosed by snorting a mix of heroin and cocaine.
His corpse received no make-up or washing and was still covered in shit. He was buried in a black leather jacket, his trademark jock strap and a bottle of Jim Beam. Fans were photographed putting his cock in their mouths and shoving drugs in Allin's face, among other things. His grave is frequently vandalized with urine, cigarette butts, feces and alcohol by fans.
This, my friends, is real punkrock.
04. Big Lurch
This West-Coast rapper was pretty gangster. Stories of Hip-Hop artists shooting stuff and then rapping about how hardcore they are is common, but nobody... NOBODY... is as gangster as this guy.
In 2002 Big Lurch murdered a girl named Tynisha Ysais outside of her apartment with her boyfriend. In their defense, they had been smoking PCP for days leading up to the murder, but still, not a very nice thing to do.
When her body was found, the chest had been massively cut open, stab wounds everywhere, bite marks on her face and her lungs.
When the police arrested Big Lurch, he was naked, covered in blood, and staring aimlessly at the sky. A medical examination showed that there was human flesh in his stomach that was not his own. For those of you who are slow: HE ATE PARTS OF TYNISHA. PARTS OF HER FACE. PARTS OF HER LUNGS. Beat that Tupac.
He went to jail, and is still there, serving a lifetime sentence. Don't smoke PCP kids.
03. Hell On Earth
These guys were very naughty indeed. They have songs like "Raped by the Virgin Mary" and "The AIDS Infested Blood Of Christ" which is pretty rude. But there are lots of bands who have oh-so-crazy song titles, all like "I am so hardcore" but don't actually do anything hardcore whatsoever.
Hell On Earth live up to the hype. For starters, they are the only band I have ever heard of that have sex with skinned calves on stage. They also blend dead rats into a paste and then get their fans to drink it. I wish I had that kind of power, I'd be much nicer with it.
But they really hit the news when a terminally-ill fan asked the band if they would let him commit suicide on stage. The band agreed and the media had a frenzy. There was a war of big words about the law and people's rights, until in 2004, the Florida Senate passed a bill barring the "exploitation of self-murder" for "commercial or entertainment purposes". I mean, if you ask me, for a band to be so hectic that a new law had to be written, that's pretty fucking hardcore.
Hell On Earth promised that the suicide would take place for a select few, which prompted police to try and track them down on a massive manhunt. After a while, the whole thing blew over, and nobody really knows if the deed was done or not. Regardless, it was promotion that money can't buy, and for all these reasons: Welcome to the list Hell On Earth.
02. Jim Gordon
Jim was a SUPER drummer, arguably the most requested session drummer in the 70's. He has played with The Everly Brothers, The Beach Boys, The Byrds, Eric Clapton, George Harrison, Frank Zappa, Alice Cooper, Donovan, BB King, John Lennon and Tom Petty to name a FEW. He even won a Grammy for his efforts.
But things went pear shaped. He started to hear voices in his head in the late 70's. More specifically, it was the voice of his own mother telling him to starve himself. When he disobeyed, the voice would send him into a blind rage. He seeked help, but only got diagnosed as an alcoholic, which wasn't it at all. No shit.
In 1983 he couldn't take it anymore. He got a butcher knife and a hammer and brutally murdered his own mother. I mean, you hear Eminem going on about he would beat his own Mom to death, but Jim actually did it.
He is still alive and still in prison and at this point, has been properly diagnosed with acute paranoid schizophrenia. Poor Jimmy.
01. Prussian Blue
Look at these two little girls, aren't they adorable? Please let me introduce Lynx and Lamb Gaede, twin girls born in 1992. And ever since these girls were born, they agreed on two things: (1) They loved music. (2) They hated black people.
Known as the Sinister Olsen Twins, they were born in Bakersfield California, but their mom decided it wasn't "white enough", and moved them to Kalispell, Montana. Their mother, of course, being the one who home-schooled them, reprogramming them with all sorts of exciting things such as: Hitler being a great inspiration, and how the The Holocaust was exaggerated and it really wasn't that bad. Which it was, by the way.
Pretty soon, they felt the need to talk about it as much as they could. And what better way to talk over and over again about something than in a little bubblegum pop album of course. And armed with a guitar, a violin, and a common enemy: Prussian Blue was born.
Even their name looks so pretty, but is actually a reference to the supposed lack of Zyklon B residue (nicknamed Prussian Blue) in the gas-chambers in the concentration-camps - one of the biggest arguments for the "Holocaust Myth" as they call it. Besides this, Prussian Blue is also a reference to the Nazi's eye chart, being the perfect colour for the master race and excusing said person from the ethnic cleansing.
But look at them! They look like poster children for an expensive product! iStock models. I expect them to spend their time playing hopscotch or colouring stuff in or whatever it is girls do at that age. White supremacy should be the last of their worries.
But they are worried about it, and got very good at worrying about it. So much so that the white supremacist label Resistance Records signed them up. They got great gigs at any respectable Neo-Nazi National Alliance show or Holocaust-Denial event. They Nazi-Salute the crowd, cover white nationalist songs, preaching the word of White survival and the day the "whites will win the race war". All the while to an ever increasing fanbase.
The media loved the story, including ABC News and a documentary called White Nationalist, where they tell us that black people are more likely to rape you and their biggest concern is that not enough good quality white babies are being born. They also believe that all the money donated to help victims of Hurricane Katrina should only go to the white families. Because, you know, that's the kind of thing that a racist would say I suppose.
They have received many death threats, but if I am completely honest, the tragedy is that they have so much talent and potential. Their songs are pretty good for their age, and hey, it's not all bigotry and white-power, they do have a love song. It's called Skin-Head Boy.
At the end of the day, this affected me the most of all the stories. Because I was raised to believe that everybody is equal, regardless of race, sex, age or any other difference. And if you don't believe that - that's ok too. Except never read my blog. Ever again. EVER. AGAIN. LEAVE IT RIGHT NOW YOU INTOLERANT CUNT, FUCKING RIDICULOUS. I'll hit you.
CREDITS
This blog would not have been possible if it weren't for Goregirl's extensive list on RateYourMusic.
I went through every entry, one by one, all 1400 of them, narrowed it down to my 58 favourites.
Then after some heavy research, I got it down to the 20 you see here. So thanks Goregirl!
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Tuesday 15 June 2010
Monday 24 May 2010
Easter Eggs Up Your Ass
Originally Written: 01/04/10
That time of year is here again where we celebrate the murder and resurrection of Jesus Christ the savior. I don't care what your beliefs on the subject are - coming back to life is a pretty impressive party trick even 2000 years onward. And as any kid will tell you, what better way to honour this than to eat a bunch of colourful chocolate eggs hidden by a very cunning bunny-rabbit.
Now, there is one thing always pisses me off about this time of year. It's when you're sitting in a room and some uneducated fuck thinks he's so smart and funny, and proclaims "what the hell does bunny rabbits and eggs have to do with the rise of Jesus?" And everyone else in the room nods and drools and agree's "Wow, I never thought about it like that, you are so clever and beyond us."
I swear to God, this happens every fucking year. And each time I have to hold back from casually walking over the schmuck, slapping his/her face like a bitch and then pissing all over his/her designer trainers. Where did you get this amazing thought? Did you think of it all by yourself? Well - let me ask you this - do they have the internet where you come from? Oh, they do? Well, why don't you take your useless fingers over there and go onto wikipedia, you stupid prick, before putting stupid ideas into these poor sheep brains?
It's symbolic. Rabbits are known for their excessive breeding habits (the little sluts) although I doubt they match us humans. Cos we fuck a lot. Eggs, on the other hand, are an obvious representation of birth itself, waiting to be hatched into the world. It's LIFE people, symbols of the creation of LIFE. Which has a rather fitting connection to the death and resurrection of Jesus, wouldn't you say? Yay! All is not lost! You can go back to bed now.
Besides all that nonsense, I love any holiday - it's an excuse to celebrate. I will have an extra pint just because I did my washing this week, so personally, I enjoy any justification which is a little more globally accepted. And let's face it, ever since I moved out of home, the chances of me even receiving a single Easter egg is next to none. Unless I buy it myself, which I am just not willing to do.
It's about here that I realise I have no conclusion to what I was talking about - please forgive me as I take this in a completely different direction.
Much like the sadistic rabbit (I decided he was sadistic just now) hiding Easter eggs for kids; artists and media developers around the world enjoy a similar practice too. I'm talking from programmers to painters to film directors - they love to sneak tiny in-jokes into their products so that we as the average people have to search and search to get the humour. And by search and search, I mean go to Google, type some words, click "Google Search", normally the first hit. Fittingly, these little gems are called Easter Eggs. You see? You see? I didn't completely go off topic now, did I? No.
If you know anything about me (and let me assure you, you don't) you'll know that I am only educated about 3 things. The first is vagina - let me prove this to you sometime. The other 2 are the internet and music. And for that reason, I will be focusing on my Top 10 favourite hidden Eggs in albums and songs I feel you should know. Please enjoy. Or don't. Either way - I win because you are on my website.
PLEASE NOTE: This note wouldn't have been so easy if it wasn't for the badly designed but thoroughly contented website knows as Easter Eggs over here: http://www.eeggs.com
Also, no backward messaging was included, because that way of hiding stuff is so lame.
10. The Beatles - Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band (1967)
This specific technique is my least favourite execution of any hidden-track method, only because it has been done like a 1000 times since. However, it is only fair to include this example, as it is the first hidden track ever. Yup, first at everything, you're oh-so-cool Mr. Beatles.
After the final song (The EPIC A Day In The Life) we are treated to 15-kilohertz high-frequency tone, which generally can only be heard by dogs, but I can hear it because I am SOMETHING BEYOND EVERYTHING. This is immediately followed by a weird loop of laughter and gibberish. This works especially well on the Vinyl editions because the track loops perpetually within the inner groove of the LP, an effect lost on the cd-release.
Since the release, there has been massive amounts of debating over what the hidden track means. "What does it really mean?" they say. Some have reported that it is just McCartney saying "It really couldn't be any other" which sounds pretty close. Then kids started to play the message backwards (which isn't that strange because by now every single second of The Beatles catalogue has been listened to backwards extensively just to find, well, anything). Backwards interpretations are often cited as "We'll fuck you like Superman" and lesser so as "Will Paul come back as Superman?" which fuels the Paul is Dead Theory even further.
Anyways, you try work this all out for yourself, the hidden track is here.
Since then, this "play a track after the last track" technique has been used by any lazy artist who wanted a hidden track. One of the most famous examples being Endless, Nameless by Nirvana on their classic album Nevermind.
The Beatles themselves didn't stop there either, with their Her Majesty being hidden much the same way on Abbey Road. Even cooler was their track Can You Take Me Back which is unlisted on the White Album, playing just after Cry Baby Cry and just before Revolution Number 9. And of course, there are literally hundreds of other hidden things all around The Beatles catalogue, some of which may be on purpose, most of which can be just credited to crazy fans. I'll leave you to it then.
09. Blur - Think Tank (2003)
Unlike the previous example, this technique could be considered as a "real" hidden track because you can listen to the entire album and never find it. Ladies, gentleman, inbetweeners: The Pregpap.
How this works is like this: instead of just hitting "play" on track 1, the listener can actually rewind the first track into negative numbers where a bunch of hidden audio is stored. Hell, this audio is so well hidden that it doesn't even work on some cd players. That's pretty fucking hidden if you ask me.
Some of the best examples include Queens Of The StoneAge's Songs For The Deaf which is just the sounds of someone getting into their car. Muse's Hullabaloo Soundtrack contains a sample of Tom Waits' What's He Building? on Disc 2. Limp Bizkit's Significant Other has a few of these all over the album.
Personally, I have chosen Blur's Think Tank album as my favourite example of this. My reasoning is terrible: I just love Blur and I love this album. Also, the track in question "Me, White Noise" is a full-on over-6-and-a-half minute electronic track with guest vocals from the cockney Phil Daniels (who also provided vocals on the band's track Parklife).
However, this method is still used extremely often in modern media, and so isn't anything too special. For a detailed list of all albums using this, check it out here.
08. The Bloodhound Gang - Hooray For Boobies (2000)
Ok, now that we have got the 2 most common examples out of the way, it's time to start rewarding the truly clever.
To some, using the words "Bloodhound Gang" and "Truly clever" in the same sentence might be an oxymoron, but let me assure you that Jimmy Pop is (or, at least, was) a lyrical genius. A VOICE OF A GENERATION is what I wouldn't go so far as to say. And Hooray For Boobies has got to be their best work just because of how much effort was put into this album alone. Besides the 13 album tracks (which are generally really good), we also have 5 other joke tracks scattered among them, bringing the total to 18 all together. Then we find ourselves listening to silent track after silent track until we hit track 47, which is called "Studio Bullshit" and is just that - a bunch of talking and ridiculousness.
As much as this is a hidden track, it still isn't the most original way to do it, and is in essence the same idea as the first entry - a bunch of blank space before the final unlisted song. So most people who own this album have found this track all by themselves, well done.
What most people do NOT know however, is that when the album is played through a program like winamp, the 28 blank tracks are each assigned a letter. Which when spelt out in order, reads "Tracks 19 Thru 46 Are Just Silence". Which is true.
This is the only example I can find like this anywhere, and even the most hardcore BHGroupies somehow seem to overlook this.
People have also said that the 47 tracks are a reference to the 47th chromosome, which is the one that causes Down Syndrome. And I guess if you know Bloodhound Gang, that is a definite possibility. FUNNY.
07. Radiohead - Kid A (2000)
Radiohead like to do things differently, and while other bands were hiding tracks on their albums, they went ahead and hid an entire cd-cover of artwork.
The original UK pressings of the album had a hidden booklet, all you had to do was lift up the tray underneath the cd, and there it was: 8 pages of really, really weird stuff designed by Thom Yorke (under the alias Tchock ) and Stanley Donwood (who does all their artwork anyway). This is way above the line of duty, I am sure we can all agree, as even the main booklet itself is filled with tracing paper and other weird fold-outs that no other album I have ever seen has made use of.
The hidden booklet caused some controversy with a demonic portrait of then-British Prime Minister Tony Blair, along with many other strange quotes and teddy bears. Of course, you can't find this anymore, but if you want to look at the entire thing, you can, over here.
You're welcome.
06. The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico (1967)
I was torn whether this could actually be considered an Easter Egg or not, but seeing as the original pressings of this LP are hard to come by, and the CD versions most of us newbies are familiar with do not include the gimmick... why yes, I think I'll include it.
It is one of the most recognizable cd covers of all time, even though it is just a banana. Of course, when is anything just anything when Andy Warhol painted it? And in true Warhol fashion, you had to look closer just to get the joke.
A little message and an arrow invited the listener to "Peel slowly and see", aimed right at the banana stem itself. Early purchases of the LP surprised people when they did just that, peeling the top layer of the banana to reveal a skinned one underneath. This must've been super expensive and probably the reason why they stopped printing these very quickly.
However, if you have one, sell it on eBay and make money. Or give it to me. Or don't, whatever. I'll kill you.
05. Led Zeppelin - In Through the Out Door (1979)
While we are still on the topic of album covers an what-nots, this one took me by surprise. Whilst researching for this article, I came across this one I had never heard of - which is weird because I thought I knew everything about everything, let alone Led Zeppelin.
It's so good, it deserves a little introduction. First of all, it was designed by Storm Thorgerson and Aubrey Powell of the Hipgnosis team. Do a little bit of research, and you will find that almost every incredible album cover ever made was done by these guys, from Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon, to Muse's Black Holes and Revelations, and all the Genisis's, Black Sabbath's and Mars Volta's in-between.
But this one is special. And I don't mean just because there 6 different versions, each showing different angles of the same scene (a man burning a letter at a pub). I also don't mean the fact that the album was covered in a brown paper bag so that the buyer had no idea which one they were purchasing (an obvious ploy to get more money from the collectors).
No, the genius here lies that the images were black and white, but when wiped with a damp towel, became fully coloured. Yes, just like those books you had as a kiddie. The technique was completely irreversible, and Hipgnosis was nominated for a Grammy Award in 1980 for this stunt.
04. The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief (1973)
Ahem, back to actually hiding music within an album, we have a very special technique that is so special that modern day Cd's just cannot do it. It's called Double Grooving, and despite my best efforts, I can only find 3 examples of it ever being used.
The first is Tool - Opiate. The Cd version of this album contains the hidden track The Gaping Lotus Experience, hidden in the traditional format: lying after a bunch of silence following the final track. However, on the Vinyl, people disovered that it just wasn't there. Oh - but it was... By dropping the needle in just the right place during Cold & Ugly, the listener could find it. It is like a hidden groove on the record that if the album was listened to from the beginning to the end, it wouldn't be picked up. Very cool.
The second example of this would be Mr Bungle's Disco Volante, which is an untitled hidden track, but requires the listener to drop the needle in just the right place during Carry Stress In The Jaw.
But you can't beat Monty Python's use of this technique. We aren't talking Hidden tracks here: we're talking an entire HIDDEN ALBUM. That's right, the worlds first and only triple-sided LP. So much so that the official name of the release was Free Record Given Away With The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief.
Much like the previous examples, the second side of this album played 3 tracks normally. But if you placed the stylus right, it would play 4 completely different tracks. To further the joke, the album did not have a track listing. This means that the listener may listen to the album a few times before suddenly being surprised with a bunch of tracks he/she had never heard before. Long live the kings of comedy.
03. Pink Floyd - The Wall (1979)
This Easter Egg is so simple that it won't take long to explain, but is so incredibly genius that it is often overlooked despite being the best selling album of the 1980's in USA.
Within the very first seconds of this album, if you listen closely, you will hear someone faintly say the words "...where we came in?". You might have never noticed that before, but you will now.
Then listen to the entire album. Do it with headphones. Do it stoned. You may never come back.
After your double-album journey, listen carefully just as the album ends, and you will here that same voice, but this time saying "isn't this...?" and then the cd cuts out.
Set it to play the first album after the second, and you will get the flawless sentence: "Isn't this... where we came in?", a perfect way to listen to an album over and over and over.
Pink Floyd are like Easter Egg shitting machines, so I suggest you do a little more research on the topic about them. This is merely my favourite one.
02. Tool - 10,000 Days (2006)
Yes, I like Tool. We all like Tool. I just don't like Tool as much as everyone else seems to. And as far as Tool album's go: 99% of us agree that this was their worst offering, despite the excessive packaging to try and fool you otherwise.
However, Tool are pretty much the heavy-weight champions of modern day ProgRock, and that isn't a title anyone should take lightly. Their collection is so long and trippy that it almost feels like the entire thing is one giant Easter Egg. But this does not stop them from hiding stuff from us, and that is the reason why this band was not only mentioned in entry #4, but why they also have this entire entry to themselves. Because this, my friends, is fucking GENIUS.
It requires some work on your part, but give it a shot: download (or rip - if you are a good person) tracks 3, 4 and 11. Now open tracks 11 and 3 (Viginti Tres and Wings for Marie (Pt 1)) in one media player and track 4 (10,000 Days (Wings Pt 2)) in a separate media player. You will notice that these tracks, when added up, both reach 11 minutes 13 seconds in length. This is not an accident.
If you manage to press Play on both players at exactly the same time, you will shit yourself as you realise that they sync up and create a monster track together as one.
So let's recap here: there are 3 tracks, when combined, make up the hidden track. Have you ever heard of anything like this, ever?? Fuck-off cool.
Marie, of course, being Maynard's mother who died before this album's release. Some people even argue that the 11 minute thing has something to do with the fact that she died in November. Yeah, maybe.
01. Aphex Twin - Windowlicker (1999)
Richard D James is the king of everything. As far as Experimental Electronic music goes, no one has yet to do anything even remotely as good as he has, and even more so, this particular song.
For anyone familiar with his work, you know that he loves to put his face on everything. EVERYTHING. In the video for this song, his face is superimposed onto the bodies of models in bikini's (much like the above image), scaring little kids all across the world. But what not many people know is this: his face is hidden INSIDE of this song.
Impossible? POSSIBLE!
All you need is a spectrograph program - try Spectrogram, and then watch the pretty patterns this song makes just like every other song in existence. The key hits around 5:27, a massive noise you have probably heard before but paid no attention to takes place. But when viewing through the spectrograph, suddenly you are looking at Richard's face - in the music.
Lazy? Ok, it looks like this.
The song also ends with pretty spirals made by the same technique.
Since then the band Venetian Snares has hidden cats in their songs, and various images of hands were hidden in Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails (which is also smothered in Easter Egg gold all over), but this is the first and possibly the best example in history.
This, my friends, is Easter egg holy grail, and nothing is better.
CONCLUSION:
What, haven't I said enough?? Follow @LegoTrip
That time of year is here again where we celebrate the murder and resurrection of Jesus Christ the savior. I don't care what your beliefs on the subject are - coming back to life is a pretty impressive party trick even 2000 years onward. And as any kid will tell you, what better way to honour this than to eat a bunch of colourful chocolate eggs hidden by a very cunning bunny-rabbit.
Now, there is one thing always pisses me off about this time of year. It's when you're sitting in a room and some uneducated fuck thinks he's so smart and funny, and proclaims "what the hell does bunny rabbits and eggs have to do with the rise of Jesus?" And everyone else in the room nods and drools and agree's "Wow, I never thought about it like that, you are so clever and beyond us."
I swear to God, this happens every fucking year. And each time I have to hold back from casually walking over the schmuck, slapping his/her face like a bitch and then pissing all over his/her designer trainers. Where did you get this amazing thought? Did you think of it all by yourself? Well - let me ask you this - do they have the internet where you come from? Oh, they do? Well, why don't you take your useless fingers over there and go onto wikipedia, you stupid prick, before putting stupid ideas into these poor sheep brains?
It's symbolic. Rabbits are known for their excessive breeding habits (the little sluts) although I doubt they match us humans. Cos we fuck a lot. Eggs, on the other hand, are an obvious representation of birth itself, waiting to be hatched into the world. It's LIFE people, symbols of the creation of LIFE. Which has a rather fitting connection to the death and resurrection of Jesus, wouldn't you say? Yay! All is not lost! You can go back to bed now.
Besides all that nonsense, I love any holiday - it's an excuse to celebrate. I will have an extra pint just because I did my washing this week, so personally, I enjoy any justification which is a little more globally accepted. And let's face it, ever since I moved out of home, the chances of me even receiving a single Easter egg is next to none. Unless I buy it myself, which I am just not willing to do.
It's about here that I realise I have no conclusion to what I was talking about - please forgive me as I take this in a completely different direction.
Much like the sadistic rabbit (I decided he was sadistic just now) hiding Easter eggs for kids; artists and media developers around the world enjoy a similar practice too. I'm talking from programmers to painters to film directors - they love to sneak tiny in-jokes into their products so that we as the average people have to search and search to get the humour. And by search and search, I mean go to Google, type some words, click "Google Search", normally the first hit. Fittingly, these little gems are called Easter Eggs. You see? You see? I didn't completely go off topic now, did I? No.
If you know anything about me (and let me assure you, you don't) you'll know that I am only educated about 3 things. The first is vagina - let me prove this to you sometime. The other 2 are the internet and music. And for that reason, I will be focusing on my Top 10 favourite hidden Eggs in albums and songs I feel you should know. Please enjoy. Or don't. Either way - I win because you are on my website.
PLEASE NOTE: This note wouldn't have been so easy if it wasn't for the badly designed but thoroughly contented website knows as Easter Eggs over here: http://www.eeggs.com
Also, no backward messaging was included, because that way of hiding stuff is so lame.
10. The Beatles - Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band (1967)
This specific technique is my least favourite execution of any hidden-track method, only because it has been done like a 1000 times since. However, it is only fair to include this example, as it is the first hidden track ever. Yup, first at everything, you're oh-so-cool Mr. Beatles.
After the final song (The EPIC A Day In The Life) we are treated to 15-kilohertz high-frequency tone, which generally can only be heard by dogs, but I can hear it because I am SOMETHING BEYOND EVERYTHING. This is immediately followed by a weird loop of laughter and gibberish. This works especially well on the Vinyl editions because the track loops perpetually within the inner groove of the LP, an effect lost on the cd-release.
Since the release, there has been massive amounts of debating over what the hidden track means. "What does it really mean?" they say. Some have reported that it is just McCartney saying "It really couldn't be any other" which sounds pretty close. Then kids started to play the message backwards (which isn't that strange because by now every single second of The Beatles catalogue has been listened to backwards extensively just to find, well, anything). Backwards interpretations are often cited as "We'll fuck you like Superman" and lesser so as "Will Paul come back as Superman?" which fuels the Paul is Dead Theory even further.
Anyways, you try work this all out for yourself, the hidden track is here.
Since then, this "play a track after the last track" technique has been used by any lazy artist who wanted a hidden track. One of the most famous examples being Endless, Nameless by Nirvana on their classic album Nevermind.
The Beatles themselves didn't stop there either, with their Her Majesty being hidden much the same way on Abbey Road. Even cooler was their track Can You Take Me Back which is unlisted on the White Album, playing just after Cry Baby Cry and just before Revolution Number 9. And of course, there are literally hundreds of other hidden things all around The Beatles catalogue, some of which may be on purpose, most of which can be just credited to crazy fans. I'll leave you to it then.
09. Blur - Think Tank (2003)
Unlike the previous example, this technique could be considered as a "real" hidden track because you can listen to the entire album and never find it. Ladies, gentleman, inbetweeners: The Pregpap.
How this works is like this: instead of just hitting "play" on track 1, the listener can actually rewind the first track into negative numbers where a bunch of hidden audio is stored. Hell, this audio is so well hidden that it doesn't even work on some cd players. That's pretty fucking hidden if you ask me.
Some of the best examples include Queens Of The StoneAge's Songs For The Deaf which is just the sounds of someone getting into their car. Muse's Hullabaloo Soundtrack contains a sample of Tom Waits' What's He Building? on Disc 2. Limp Bizkit's Significant Other has a few of these all over the album.
Personally, I have chosen Blur's Think Tank album as my favourite example of this. My reasoning is terrible: I just love Blur and I love this album. Also, the track in question "Me, White Noise" is a full-on over-6-and-a-half minute electronic track with guest vocals from the cockney Phil Daniels (who also provided vocals on the band's track Parklife).
However, this method is still used extremely often in modern media, and so isn't anything too special. For a detailed list of all albums using this, check it out here.
08. The Bloodhound Gang - Hooray For Boobies (2000)
Ok, now that we have got the 2 most common examples out of the way, it's time to start rewarding the truly clever.
To some, using the words "Bloodhound Gang" and "Truly clever" in the same sentence might be an oxymoron, but let me assure you that Jimmy Pop is (or, at least, was) a lyrical genius. A VOICE OF A GENERATION is what I wouldn't go so far as to say. And Hooray For Boobies has got to be their best work just because of how much effort was put into this album alone. Besides the 13 album tracks (which are generally really good), we also have 5 other joke tracks scattered among them, bringing the total to 18 all together. Then we find ourselves listening to silent track after silent track until we hit track 47, which is called "Studio Bullshit" and is just that - a bunch of talking and ridiculousness.
As much as this is a hidden track, it still isn't the most original way to do it, and is in essence the same idea as the first entry - a bunch of blank space before the final unlisted song. So most people who own this album have found this track all by themselves, well done.
What most people do NOT know however, is that when the album is played through a program like winamp, the 28 blank tracks are each assigned a letter. Which when spelt out in order, reads "Tracks 19 Thru 46 Are Just Silence". Which is true.
This is the only example I can find like this anywhere, and even the most hardcore BHGroupies somehow seem to overlook this.
People have also said that the 47 tracks are a reference to the 47th chromosome, which is the one that causes Down Syndrome. And I guess if you know Bloodhound Gang, that is a definite possibility. FUNNY.
07. Radiohead - Kid A (2000)
Radiohead like to do things differently, and while other bands were hiding tracks on their albums, they went ahead and hid an entire cd-cover of artwork.
The original UK pressings of the album had a hidden booklet, all you had to do was lift up the tray underneath the cd, and there it was: 8 pages of really, really weird stuff designed by Thom Yorke (under the alias Tchock ) and Stanley Donwood (who does all their artwork anyway). This is way above the line of duty, I am sure we can all agree, as even the main booklet itself is filled with tracing paper and other weird fold-outs that no other album I have ever seen has made use of.
The hidden booklet caused some controversy with a demonic portrait of then-British Prime Minister Tony Blair, along with many other strange quotes and teddy bears. Of course, you can't find this anymore, but if you want to look at the entire thing, you can, over here.
You're welcome.
06. The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico (1967)
I was torn whether this could actually be considered an Easter Egg or not, but seeing as the original pressings of this LP are hard to come by, and the CD versions most of us newbies are familiar with do not include the gimmick... why yes, I think I'll include it.
It is one of the most recognizable cd covers of all time, even though it is just a banana. Of course, when is anything just anything when Andy Warhol painted it? And in true Warhol fashion, you had to look closer just to get the joke.
A little message and an arrow invited the listener to "Peel slowly and see", aimed right at the banana stem itself. Early purchases of the LP surprised people when they did just that, peeling the top layer of the banana to reveal a skinned one underneath. This must've been super expensive and probably the reason why they stopped printing these very quickly.
However, if you have one, sell it on eBay and make money. Or give it to me. Or don't, whatever. I'll kill you.
05. Led Zeppelin - In Through the Out Door (1979)
While we are still on the topic of album covers an what-nots, this one took me by surprise. Whilst researching for this article, I came across this one I had never heard of - which is weird because I thought I knew everything about everything, let alone Led Zeppelin.
It's so good, it deserves a little introduction. First of all, it was designed by Storm Thorgerson and Aubrey Powell of the Hipgnosis team. Do a little bit of research, and you will find that almost every incredible album cover ever made was done by these guys, from Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon, to Muse's Black Holes and Revelations, and all the Genisis's, Black Sabbath's and Mars Volta's in-between.
But this one is special. And I don't mean just because there 6 different versions, each showing different angles of the same scene (a man burning a letter at a pub). I also don't mean the fact that the album was covered in a brown paper bag so that the buyer had no idea which one they were purchasing (an obvious ploy to get more money from the collectors).
No, the genius here lies that the images were black and white, but when wiped with a damp towel, became fully coloured. Yes, just like those books you had as a kiddie. The technique was completely irreversible, and Hipgnosis was nominated for a Grammy Award in 1980 for this stunt.
04. The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief (1973)
Ahem, back to actually hiding music within an album, we have a very special technique that is so special that modern day Cd's just cannot do it. It's called Double Grooving, and despite my best efforts, I can only find 3 examples of it ever being used.
The first is Tool - Opiate. The Cd version of this album contains the hidden track The Gaping Lotus Experience, hidden in the traditional format: lying after a bunch of silence following the final track. However, on the Vinyl, people disovered that it just wasn't there. Oh - but it was... By dropping the needle in just the right place during Cold & Ugly, the listener could find it. It is like a hidden groove on the record that if the album was listened to from the beginning to the end, it wouldn't be picked up. Very cool.
The second example of this would be Mr Bungle's Disco Volante, which is an untitled hidden track, but requires the listener to drop the needle in just the right place during Carry Stress In The Jaw.
But you can't beat Monty Python's use of this technique. We aren't talking Hidden tracks here: we're talking an entire HIDDEN ALBUM. That's right, the worlds first and only triple-sided LP. So much so that the official name of the release was Free Record Given Away With The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief.
Much like the previous examples, the second side of this album played 3 tracks normally. But if you placed the stylus right, it would play 4 completely different tracks. To further the joke, the album did not have a track listing. This means that the listener may listen to the album a few times before suddenly being surprised with a bunch of tracks he/she had never heard before. Long live the kings of comedy.
03. Pink Floyd - The Wall (1979)
This Easter Egg is so simple that it won't take long to explain, but is so incredibly genius that it is often overlooked despite being the best selling album of the 1980's in USA.
Within the very first seconds of this album, if you listen closely, you will hear someone faintly say the words "...where we came in?". You might have never noticed that before, but you will now.
Then listen to the entire album. Do it with headphones. Do it stoned. You may never come back.
After your double-album journey, listen carefully just as the album ends, and you will here that same voice, but this time saying "isn't this...?" and then the cd cuts out.
Set it to play the first album after the second, and you will get the flawless sentence: "Isn't this... where we came in?", a perfect way to listen to an album over and over and over.
Pink Floyd are like Easter Egg shitting machines, so I suggest you do a little more research on the topic about them. This is merely my favourite one.
02. Tool - 10,000 Days (2006)
Yes, I like Tool. We all like Tool. I just don't like Tool as much as everyone else seems to. And as far as Tool album's go: 99% of us agree that this was their worst offering, despite the excessive packaging to try and fool you otherwise.
However, Tool are pretty much the heavy-weight champions of modern day ProgRock, and that isn't a title anyone should take lightly. Their collection is so long and trippy that it almost feels like the entire thing is one giant Easter Egg. But this does not stop them from hiding stuff from us, and that is the reason why this band was not only mentioned in entry #4, but why they also have this entire entry to themselves. Because this, my friends, is fucking GENIUS.
It requires some work on your part, but give it a shot: download (or rip - if you are a good person) tracks 3, 4 and 11. Now open tracks 11 and 3 (Viginti Tres and Wings for Marie (Pt 1)) in one media player and track 4 (10,000 Days (Wings Pt 2)) in a separate media player. You will notice that these tracks, when added up, both reach 11 minutes 13 seconds in length. This is not an accident.
If you manage to press Play on both players at exactly the same time, you will shit yourself as you realise that they sync up and create a monster track together as one.
So let's recap here: there are 3 tracks, when combined, make up the hidden track. Have you ever heard of anything like this, ever?? Fuck-off cool.
Marie, of course, being Maynard's mother who died before this album's release. Some people even argue that the 11 minute thing has something to do with the fact that she died in November. Yeah, maybe.
01. Aphex Twin - Windowlicker (1999)
Richard D James is the king of everything. As far as Experimental Electronic music goes, no one has yet to do anything even remotely as good as he has, and even more so, this particular song.
For anyone familiar with his work, you know that he loves to put his face on everything. EVERYTHING. In the video for this song, his face is superimposed onto the bodies of models in bikini's (much like the above image), scaring little kids all across the world. But what not many people know is this: his face is hidden INSIDE of this song.
Impossible? POSSIBLE!
All you need is a spectrograph program - try Spectrogram, and then watch the pretty patterns this song makes just like every other song in existence. The key hits around 5:27, a massive noise you have probably heard before but paid no attention to takes place. But when viewing through the spectrograph, suddenly you are looking at Richard's face - in the music.
Lazy? Ok, it looks like this.
The song also ends with pretty spirals made by the same technique.
Since then the band Venetian Snares has hidden cats in their songs, and various images of hands were hidden in Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails (which is also smothered in Easter Egg gold all over), but this is the first and possibly the best example in history.
This, my friends, is Easter egg holy grail, and nothing is better.
CONCLUSION:
What, haven't I said enough?? Follow @LegoTrip
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