25 Albums That Changed My Life

The Tale of the Devil and Me

Preface
We all have our own life stories. Parts of our existence which stand out stronger in our recollections; events which define who we are. And music was always there, playing as our soundtrack, songs securing themselves to these specific occurrences and people, refusing to let go (whether we want them to or not). This is my story, avoiding the temptation of reviewing these albums as the pieces of art they are, but rather where they fit into my coming of age, and how they helped along the evolution of what made me who I am today. These albums were not chosen to fit the story. The story was built up around them, and in that way, they chose me.
But for now, all you need to know is that I was born in the city of Durban, South Africa, 1984, to two loving parents, as the third child of four. Since said birth, my memory has been good to me, and I’ve somehow kept my thoughts in reasonable order and condition throughout many tales of mental abuse and hasty rewiring. However (and upon writing this piece) I came to discover and trip upon a number of potholes, as there were occasional faulty details scattered amongst my usually reliable mind-paths. For example, some of the stated ages may, at times, be a little inaccurate, but I estimated them the best I could, and they shouldn't be drastically far off or effect the journey. Furthermore, certain periods and events could very well be challenged by those who remember them better than me, and to those people: I am truly sorry if I got anything wrong which may muddy your own life story as you recall it. But as golfer Chi Chi Rodriguez so poetically put, “I don't exaggerate - I just remember big”, and this is true. For you must know that none of this story was made up, and is exactly how my mind has written it down. All names are real. All incidents happened. And this, dear reader, is what I am made of. I’d like to welcome you to my life, please enjoy.

Chapter 1:
Cliff Richard - 18 Greatest Hits

Age: 4 years old

I have ample memories from some very young ages, so much so that many of you wouldn’t even accept them as truths. I remember wearing nappies. I remember being breastfed. I even remember bits of my birth itself, albeit a little hazy. So it should come as no surprise that I remember my introduction to music very vividly. It arrived in the form of a dusty cassette tape hidden underneath my parents' record player, which featured this Christian bachelor smirking on the cover. But as much as he was my Elvis, I could never over-credit this entire compilation as my true gateway into the world of organised sound, as I never managed to get past the first track.
The song was called Devil Woman, and little did I know it back then, but this practice of name-dropping St. Lucifer became a predominant fixture of my existence to come, which this story shall soon reveal in great detail. No, instead, at this age I was ignorant to the process of Satan, who had entered my soul at this very early stage to infest my innocent imagination, ultimately turning me into a cat who danced around the living room. I will never fully understand why this happened, except that perhaps at this youthful number, it was the only way The Dark Lord could appeal to my short attention span. But regardless of reasons, there I was, a puppet for the King of Hell, experiencing outbursts as a twisted feline known only as Cliff Richard The Cat, and I wouldn't respond to any other name. The power of this song extended even further than me, also reaching my younger sister, who too was possessed by her own Cliff Richard animal - a dog in her case - and we would perform the song together for anyone who would listen, as part of a daily ritual.
Whilst researching for this article, I asked my little sister if she remembered those traditions, and she assured me she did not. However, what she did recall was that she “used to imagine [Cliff] lived next door, and when he heard me listening to his album, he would come over and take me away. Looking back, that would’ve been super fucked up.” True.
Regardless, The Devil had come to play, but I was oblivious to his arrival. I was new to the world, and only just opening up to what music and life had to offer me.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Rodriguez - Cold Hard Fact

Chapter 2:
George Michael - Faith

Age: 5 years old

Not long after my stint as a feline Cliff Richard incarnation, another song snuck up on my peripheral and consumed my vision. It was the title track from the album in question, Faith, and quickly became my anthem, as well as an in-joke between me and my family members. This is because I was convinced the lyrics went “Gotta have Fanta, Fanta, Fanta”, which was my favourite fizzy beverage at the time, and resulted in much hilarity for my parents. They never corrected my mispronunciation. On the contrary, they encouraged me to perform my rendition for all of their friends, who too were thrilled, clapping and worshipping my attempts. I thought it was because they saw me as some rockstar in the making, not because I was the toddler equivalent of a fucking court-jester. But hey, no press is bad press, and these shows still stand as some of the most well received I have ever done.
However (and what my parents didn’t realise), is that this album had some dark qualities hidden within it - far too dark for a child of my age. For it was here that I learned a new word. A word with so much mystical power, that even though I didn’t fully understand what it meant, I knew it had a specific potency and was definitely not the Christian way. The word, of course, being the fourth of the term I Want Your Sex, and much like the Devil that Cliff introduced me to, George had planted a seed which would blossom into a very poisonous concept, outgrowing me, and devouring my everything.

Chapter 3:
Michael Jackson - Dangerous

Age: 7 years old

Skip ahead a year or so, and music had become one of the main enhancements to my day-to-day. Everything I heard came from the radio, sure, but I also kept ahead of the pack by collecting what were known as Top 40 Cards, which each featured a popular star on the front. These ranged from Aha to Kylie Minogue, from Duran Duran to questionable images of Madonna - the latter of which further fed the sex-shrub George had planted those years before.
But none of these could compare to my prized card of The King of Pop, Michael Jackson himself, which I treated and cared for like a limited edition despite the fact that it was valued the same as any of those badly designed pieces of cardboard. I carried it everywhere with me. I marvelled over it. I spoke to it. It spoke back. I even stared at this one-gloved wonder during Sunday church services when our catholic preacher got boring (which, let’s be honest, was fairly often).
Little did I know it, but I had begun to worship a false idol, which is a practice you will find many times throughout this tale, and a practice I am still known to partake in to this day. But how could I not? And who didn’t really? This was Michael Fucking Jackson, and I wasn’t alone. We all listened to his records. We all hurt ourselves trying to mimic his dance moves. And we all wished we were Macaulay Culkin, molestation or not.

Chapter 4:
Roxette - Look Sharp!

Age: 8 years old

Early in my primary school years, I met a guy named Richard. He was wickedly smart, creative as all hell, and shat himself at regular intervals. We were inseparable from the moment our paths crossed, and opted to spend our lunch breaks in each other’s exclusive company, ignoring those boys who played sports, preferring to collaborate on monster drawings or spinning intricate lies involving the fictional daughter of Robert Redford. We called her Janet, and told our friends how she used to kiss us after school, which made them very jealous and made us look very cool.
Richard taught me a lot more than just the finer art of telling fibs, and one of those things was that Michael Jackson was far too poppy for any self respecting music lover to dare admit any affection for. By his educated command, I promptly discarded my once prized Jackson trading card like it was a candy wrapper, and then opened up my world to whatever this boy had to offer. And he had a lot. However, it was specifically the band Roxette which always stood out as one of the most appealing sounds on the market. Anything they had released would do, but it was this particular album which I regarded the highest, as even my mother enjoyed the tunes so much that she didn’t mind when I popped the cassette into her car stereo on our way home from school.
More than most, it was the song Dressed For Success that me and my mom would listen to, joyfully singing together, duetting on the chorus. That was until the day she paid a little extra attention to me, only to find me screaming “I gotta get dressed for self-sex!” And she was like “wait, what are you saying there?” and I was like “I dunno!”
A few hours later, we were sitting in my living room as she detailed the ins-and-outs of the birds-and-the-bees. Suddenly, all that stuff George Michael was talking about made much more sense, and I felt as disgusted as I did intrigued. I remain that way to this day.

Chapter 5:
2 Unlimited - No Limits!

Age: 8 years old

Skipping arm in arm with Roxette’s Look Sharp!, was this album, neither one dominating the other, both of them absorbing my consciousness at the exact same time. But while Roxette covered what I then considered to be the “hard rock” side of music (lol), it was this entirely different male/female duo who lead my personal discoveries on two distinct paths.
The first path, was one of high inspiration. As this was another album me and my best friend Richard wholeheartedly agreed upon, we both found ourselves designing album covers for music we hadn’t made yet. I took this a step further, as one afternoon after finding my Dad’s voice recorder, I recorded an entire album worth of a cappella songs, each one about ninjas and the troubles such a profession would entail, and all very much in the 2 Unlimited vein. It was the first real set of songs I ever wrote, and they had manifested into reality, existing on a medium outside of my head. God, what I would do to have that tape in my possession now, and I still pray it turns up one day.
The second path, was the technique of carefree dancing. Richard and I would both jump to our feet at a whiff of the opening track, diving around like miniature ravers on speed, bouncing off the walls and flailing our arms like we were seconds away from an overdose. Little did I know it, but this practice would become even more out of control as we got older.

Chapter 6:
Ace of Base - The Sign

Age: 9 years old

You can forget every album up until this point. For when me and my best friend Richard first overheard The Sign title track pumping from his older brother’s bedroom, all other music faded into the background, and we became irrationally obsessed. In fact, the following Christmas, my 9 year old self was ecstatic to not only discover a blue walkman hidden under some colourful wrapping, but this original cassette tape too. I now had the tools to listen to my own music, no longer dependent on my parents' equipment, and had in my possession the first real album I’d ever owned. The cheers of holiday spirit and general celebratory conversations were no longer of any concern to me, as I spent the rest of the day turning this tape over and over, listening to it again and again, nearly destroying the thing within 24 hours.
But above everything else, it was the Berggen sisters who really made me feel something in my somewhere. Jenny the brunette was nice and all, but it was the blonde Linn in particular who really blew my thoughts away with her beauty. I’ll even admit that things went a little bit too far, as I would record their music videos and then pause my TV on any given frame that her face appeared. After quickly making sure no one was watching, I’d give the screen a quick kiss right on her lips, and in that way, Linn Berggen was my first kiss ever. It was a love I’d never felt before, as well as one which took awhile for me to ever move on from.

Chapter 7:
Bon Jovi - Cross Road

Age: 10 years old

At the turn of my first decade, my main music source and best friend Richard had changed schools, and as people do, we drifted apart in the absence. This meant that my usual flow of new music dried up a bit, and I prayed for a new leader to show me the way. This leader temporarily turned out to be my cousin Monique, who had come to Durban to spend a week with our family.
She arrived with prizes, including a set of animal stickers that she shared generously; fake piercings which we wore proudly to freak out the neighbourhood; and a large collection of albums from the band Bon Jovi. They were all there, but Cross Road was, in my eyes, the best one. This was not only because it actually is a best-of compilation, but also because of the featured song Always.
I spent many a lone night with that track, reduced to tears, now believing in the elusive emotion of love that I had been yearning for since my youth, whilst also learning long before I ever needed to, that it wasn’t always going to be roses and kisses. Still to this day, that ballad gets into my heart and pokes around at my valves, despite the fact that I should know better by now.
But more than anything, I had recently begun taking valuable guitar lessons with my grandpa, and confidently armed with a few chords, visited my local music store and spent some pocket money on this album’s official tablature book - which wasn’t cheap. I opened to the Always page, and demanded my grandpa showed me how to play it. He did, it sounded terrible (as any piano driven song would on guitar), and so I threw that book into the darkest corner of my room, swearing off tabs for the rest of my life because they blatantly didn’t work.

Chapter 8:
Nirvana - MTV Unplugged in New York

Age: 10 years old

I can’t be sure whether the death of Kurt Cobain was the catalyst for my premature arrival of depression; or if the man himself had romanticised the idea of misery to the degree that I hastily jumped upon the bandwagon without much thought. But the reasons hardly mattered. What mattered, was that this album (which my brother introduced me to) coincided perfectly with my very young onset of sadness, which followed me around for what felt like a lifetime afterward, securing this band's position as arguably the biggest musical evolution of my entire existence.
Nevermind could easily be in its place, but as I only woke up to Nirvana’s genius after Kurt’s passing, it was the videos from this legendary funeralesque one-take performance which really flooded my cerebral. His voice cracked as he missed notes and forgot lyrics, which scraped pieces away from the raw screams that had come before, only to reveal the true human underneath, accentuating the loss all that more than anything else he'd done previously.
And with that, personal hygiene was no longer a priority and I suddenly wanted to grow my hair long (which I did, and still have to this day). A gloomy darkness settled on my outlook like a dusty blindfold from Satan, and my guitar became an important weapon of expression. Along with my new friend Peter, we would practice the chords until we could play every song on this album, and listened to it so many times that I still know every lyric off by heart (including the in-between song banter), yet have never grown tired of it.
Because it was more than just music. It was a mindset, and I was never the same again. Drugs became fascinating, suicide seemed heroic, and I wanted to die in a blaze of glory just like Kurt did. And when this happened, my parents would play the Meat Puppet’s cover Oh Me at my funeral, and everyone would cry. I still want this, by the way. Please remember that.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Live - Throwing Copper
Pixies - Death to the Pixies

Chapter 9:
The Offspring - Smash

Age: 10 years old

At almost the exact same moment when Nirvana swallowed me, Smash came kicking through the door to support my recent evolution. But unlike the sorrow Kurt brought to the table, Offspring represented the more humourous aspect of our education, teaching us to direct our hatred away from ourselves, and to rather be anti-establishment, anti-parental guidance, and anti-everything without doing a damn thing about it (like all good 4-chord pop-punk was in those days). They filled us with excessive energy and a whole new vocabulary to hide from our teachers, especially with the stand-out line from Bad Habit which went “You stupid dumb shit goddamn motherfucker”. Gosh, it was the most insane thing we’d ever heard and we screamed it proudly on the playground, feeling like we were cool, feeling like we were now adults - much more adult than our parents, even.
Which turned out not to be true, as an ill-judged hiccup of judgement taught me one afternoon. My mother overheard me listening to the song in question, and came bursting in with the hells-fury only mothers can achieve. She wanted to know what this garbage was, where I had got it from, and what had happened to her former Ace of Base loving child. I defended myself as best I could, but it did no good, and this became the first and only album my parents confiscated, banning me from ever listening to it again. Annoyingly, I had to give up another precious blank cassette tape to get it copied once more, and then find a better hiding place for it.
And the damage was done. I started my first band with Peter called Red Waters, and wrote an entire album worth of songs which shamelessly plagiarised this record, note-for-note. The honeymoon period didn’t last long though, and I have since grown to ignore this band completely, but credit where credit is due, and credit is due.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Greenday - Dookie
Hanson - Middle of Nowhere

Chapter 10:
Céline Dion - Falling Into You

Age: 11 years old

Conversely, while all this anti-authority shit was going on, another entirely different side of my being was opening up, and it had everything to do with girls. I was never a believer in cooties and whatnot, having perpetually developed an unhealthy obsession with the opposite sex since I can remember, but it was around this age that everyone else finally caught up. On any given weekend, a mini-disco would be organised, where we would play spin the bottle and experience our first real kisses; where we would write notes confessing our undying love for each other on a scale from 1 to 10; and where we would ask our friends to ask a girl or boy if they would be happy to slow-dance with us. It was the latter that excited me the most, for if the girl accepted, we would meet silently on the dance floor and stand as far apart as we could, placing our hands on each other's shoulders, looking awkwardly in any direction other than the person themselves. We would slowly rotate in this position until the song ended, and then we would run away to tell our friends how it felt. It was as painful as it was the most exciting times of our lives.
And in these acts of underage affection, it was this album which served as the almost exclusive soundtrack to our explorations. When someone put these soppy love ballads on the stereo, you knew what time it was, and so I would personally like to thank Céline for guiding us through what would have been an otherwise very difficult process to initiate. She helped speed along the development of little kids making out, and for that I will forever be in her debt.

Chapter 11:
Meat Loaf - Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell

Age: 11 years old

But above Céline, in some ways, was the unlikely candidate of Meat Loaf. And to state that this album played some imperative role in my adolescence would be an overstatement of disgusting proportions. For it was just one song, the over-the-top and stupidly famous opener I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That), which really stands out in musical memory.
But exactly like Céline, it had everything to do with girls, or rather, one specific girl. Her name was Kim, and she was the epitome of attractiveness. She sported the longest blonde hair in school, right down to her ass, and tied it back so tightly that her features looked almost oriental. I wouldn’t say she was my first love, because I fell in love quite regularly back then, but she was definitely in the first 10, and my infatuation with her lasted many years.
I believe it was at my own 12th birthday party when I finally made my move. I asked my brother to put this track on, and then interrupted this radiating beauty’s conversation to ask her to dance with me. She didn’t seem too keen, but what choice did she have? It was my birthday after all. And as we slow-danced in our uncomfortable manner, imaginary butterflies circled us and my mind illuminated the moment, filling me with glee. Near the end, she complained the song was going on for too long, but I held on tightly. It was the reason I had chose it in the first place.
But while I did eventually end up kissing Kim on the lips once, which was a moment that stood the test of time, the same can not be said for the album itself. In recent years, I can’t even listen to the whole thing, and am unable to tell if I still like it or not, or even if I ever did.

Chapter 12:
Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill

Age: 12 years old

When every intention of my life was fueled by either the female gender or the angst of youth, the most mind-staggering concept in the world to me would be a combination of these two things. And this materialised in the form of the angry and overly spiteful Jagged Little Pill, which granted me the permission to be mad at everything and yet still irrationally in love with Alanis herself - a very dangerous mixture indeed.
Maybe she was never the most attractive lady in the world, but she was to me at that age, and I thought of no one else in quite the same way. This got so out of control that I had two identical Morrissette posters on my wall, taken from two copies of the exact same magazine, yet I treated them both very differently. The first one I took care of and kept in pristine condition, while the other was used to practice my making-out skills, utilising much tongue until the saliva had weakened and broken right through the cheap paper, leaving a soggy hole where her mouth used to be. It was like the Ace of Base/Linn Berggen ordeal all over again, except now I was older and should have known better. Shamefully, I hid that destroyed poster under my bed and never told anyone that story until now.
But I still loved her. I didn’t care if she didn’t know what ironic meant, and still don’t, as up until this point, I will only stand by this entry and Nirvana’s album as the same masterpieces today that they were back then. And I knew I would be thinking of her if I fucked anyone else. I wanted to go down on her in the theater. I wanted to wine, dine, 69 her, and hear every word she said. These offers still stand, if you’re reading this, Alanis.

Chapter 13:
The Prodigy - The Fat of the Land

Age: 12 years old

Only moments before I hit my complicated teenage years, I turned on my television and witnessed a scene from Hell. Dim lights flashed, as rats and crocodiles infested the furniture, all while two intimidating heavily-tattooed men screamed at each other through a hole in the wall. It was the video for Breathe, and in those 4 minutes, Satan burst into flames inside of my intestines, as if he was playing possum since the Cliff Richard years, only waiting for this moment to arrive. My stomach churned from pink to black, and I ripped my own jaw off as all the punk anger now turned into diabolical fury. It was a nightmare I needed to get involved with immediately, and still stands as one of the best videos I’ve ever seen (on par with this very album’s Smack My Bitch Up, which trained me in the advanced techniques of domestic abuse and excessive alcohol consumption).
Keith Flint became my guide, and with his hair shaved into horns, spoke for Lucifer and told me I needed to join him on the dark side. The initiation was simple: I had to pierce my septum just like him. But at that age, my parents laughed it off as a passing phase, telling me I could only get the modification when I turned 16. Needless to say, it wasn’t a passing phase, and despite their protests, I got that ring in my nose those years later, which I still wear with pride today. It was done. I had graduated as a full-fledged soldier, fighting for the army of Hell.
Now that the Devil had fixated himself into my soul, he brought me a partner in crime by the name of David. Unfortunately the adventures between the two us would be far too extensive to fully detail here, but included everything the Bible taught against, including stealing, self mutilation, blasphemy, underage drinking and drug abuse. This album showed us that we were the absolute power, everyone else was the problem, and this was just the beginning of my journey into a much more sinister mischief.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Madonna - The Immaculate Collection (long story)

Chapter 14:
Various Artists - Big Hits 99

Age: 13 years old

However, my rebel behaviour wasn’t tolerated for very long. Fed up with my anti-social antics and the equally disturbing manners of my siblings, my parents decided to uproot our everything, and relocate to Cape Town. I was gutted, as my friendship with David had only really started to blossom into a decent example of Satanic debauchery, and I was distraught that such a potentially world changing relationship would never fully be realised.
But all my resistance was futile, and the move happened anyway, with or without my consent. I made the conscious decision right then to cut-off all love for my family members, and then in an act to cement my protest, I visited the music shop at the airport and (for some unfathomable reason), purchased this poppy clean compilation. It stands out strong in my memory, but not because it introduced me to many classic bands from the late 90’s mainstream (such as Fatboy Slim, The Verve, Massive Attack and Lenny Kravitz), and not because it was the first compact disc I'd ever owned. Instead, it was because I remember this as a transitional album. A set of songs which coincided with the time when my parents became the enemy and school was no longer of any interest to me. For in amongst these songs about love and partying, I felt nothing but hate and isolation, and in that way it will always be symbolic, despite whatever music it contained. And this was when my life really turned sour, as I opened myself up to the many bad things to follow.

Special thanks to my sister Jaclyn for scanning in this album cover for me. As an extremely unknown release, finding a good quality version on the internet is literally impossible, and I am proud that this blog hosts the only decent copy in existence. Which you can download for free over here.

Chapter 15:
Spice Girls - Spiceworld

Age: 13 years old

If I had to sum up my adolescence with one word, that word would be “masturbation”. It wasn’t just any spare moment I could find; it was making time for the act, with multiple sessions a day. I got caught on a few occasions, but couldn’t slow down even if I tried, and had begun to accept the fact that I was going to be a compulsive wanker for the rest of my life.
And, worst of all, there was only one thing I could get off to. Fake nudes of the Spice Girls. In fact, I honestly believe the moment I witnessed these females singing on my television, was when my very first puberty hormone kicked in, inviting the rest of them to have a huge party at my expense. I would spend hours online with our 56K dial-up modem, painfully waiting for these badly photoshopped images to load, then using them for my own perverse pleasures, always paying critical attention to Posh and Baby, because I loved them the most.
And I enjoyed the music, I really did. But only because it featured their voices, and their voices came from their mouths, and all my fantasies ended up in there. I watched this album’s accompanying film so many times that I knew the dialogue better than my younger sister did, and believe me, she knew it well. As much like any young girl from that generation, she was as possessed by the group as me, just for completely different reasons.
Still to this day, group shots of these ladies give me the quivers, but after this said year, they didn’t quite stimulate me in that way anymore, and rather served as a gateway onto harder pornography. I climbed the ranks of sick so quickly after that, finding all sorts of horrific things in the dark corners of cyberspace, some of which still stain my mind to this day. And that is why I warn you, don’t try Spice Girls. Not even once.

Chapter 16:
Various Artists - Armageddon Soundtrack

Age: 13 years old

And then it happened: I finally got my first real girlfriend. Her name was Becki, and while she would never be my type now, I fell in love with her very quickly after our first meeting. I never even kissed her, but she became the rock which kept my otherwise spiraling mentality in some sort of check.
Our first date was typical, going to the cinema, where we watched the film Armageddon. I considered this to mean a lot more than she did, and a few days later, I bought two copies of this soundtrack which was essentially an Aerosmith album surrounded by other old man rock tunes. I kept one and gave the other to her, because that’s what romantics do, and she thanked me politely, even though she couldn’t care less. Regardless, I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing became “our song”, and it still is truly a lovely piece of work.
Fast forward 6 months later, and our relationship had turned from sweet to tense. Eventually, she broke up with me, and I wasn’t too happy about that. In a fit of immaturity, I carved her name into my leg and then set about destroying this album like I’d never done to music before, as it symbolised nothing but heartbreak to me. I jumped on the casing, set the cd on fire, and then shattered it into tiny pieces. The moment it was demolished, I immediately regretted my actions, and went to the store to buy it again, standing as the only album I have bought 3 times in my life, yet still don’t own a copy now. This is because a few years later on a visit back to Durban, I was teased about its inclusion in my otherwise respectable collection, and then quickly traded it with David’s brother for Sepultura’s Roots. A much better option, even in hindsight, I think you’ll agree.

Chapter 17:
Cypress Hill - Black Sunday

Age: 14 years old

As part of my mission to essentially stick my middle finger up to everything and everyone, I decided to start taking my drug use a lot more seriously. It all started when I found a tiny weed plant growing outside a friend’s house, which I picked and smoked out my bedroom window, still wet; leaves, stems, seeds and all. I thought I got high, then went to bed.
Fast forward a few months later, and I had ascended the ganja ladder at a daunting pace. Marijuana use had become a daily routine, an afternoon bong ritual which lasted longer than a decade. I loved it, all my problems scorching in my lungs and evaporating with the smoke in a moments notice. Even when my parents caught me and threatened to kick me out the house, it meant nothing, because I was stoned, and simply smoked their bluffs away.
As anyone will tell you, music takes on a deeper meaning when you’re high. And while anything and everything sounded better as I giggled and drooled on myself, experiencing thoughts which were out-of-this-world maaaan, there were a select few albums which really became the soundtrack to my new pot-head lifestyle. Cat Stevens, Chris Cornell, Bob Marley... they all played a big role. But the Latino stylings of Cypress Hill stood a foot taller, especially Black Sunday which my brother had introduced me to (his influence on my pot life cannot go unmentioned here either). This was not only because they rapped exclusively about smoking da ‘erb, but also because it was my first step into the world of Hip-Hop, which still perseveres as one of the most influential genres on my own music to this day. The flows gently guided my trips and I considered them to be lyrical geniuses, even though now that I’ve sobered up, I consider their rhymes to be exceptionally ordinary for the genre. Which goes to prove that mary jane doesn’t actually make music sound better, it just makes you dumber, and therefore everything else rises above you. It works though.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Bloodhound Gang - Hooray For Boobies
Bob Marley & The Wailers - Legend

Chapter 18:
Korn - Follow The Leader

Age: 14 years old

As far as life changing albums go, this was arguably the biggest. So much so that you can pretty much ignore every following entry on this list until further notice, because it took a long time until anything even close to this degree presented itself.
This Korn album (which once again, I owed to my brother’s direction), and their entire back catalogue which I briskly discovered afterwards, represented the final bridge between me and my parents, my teachers, and anything else normal. It was conclusive proof that nobody understood me, except for Korn, and everyone else who understood Korn, which was most people, actually. I mean, I was never molested or anything, but I suddenly felt like I belonged somewhere, satisfied with locking myself up in a dark hole, using screams as my therapy (which to its credit, reached deeper inside of me than any paid for psychologists had managed to do up until that point). I was so inspired, that I started at least 5 bands in the Nu-Metal vein, all totally angry and pathetically crap. It was like Nirvana all over again: I was angry and wallowed in self-pity, while the Devil whispered in my ear that it was everyone else’s fault but mine, and that I should retaliate by hurting myself.
Some genuine good did come out of it though. One day at school, I was walking around alone on my lunch break, when I heard a guy singing the lyrics to A.D.I.D.A.S. I couldn’t believe my ears! I thought I was the only one! I introduced myself, and he told me his name was - wouldn’t you believe it? - David. He then injected me into the social pipeline of other degenerates, and together we wreaked havoc on anyone we could, including ourselves. It was the beginning of a beautiful destruction which made Lucifer very happy with me, and as a rule, music could never be heavy enough from that discovery onward.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Slipknot - Slipknot
Deftones - White Pony
Chimaira - Pass Out Of Existence

Chapter 19:
Marilyn Manson - Mechanical Animals

Age: 14 years old

On a much lesser scale than Korn (but still to a substantial mind altering degree), was Marilyn Manson. This album (as well as Antichrist Superstar, which I discovered shortly after) was like a direct line to the Devil himself, where he would educate me about the fashionable side of sickness; the importance of celebrity in order to convince weaker individuals to bow down before you; and the necessary denunciation of Christ by defacing bibles and pissing on churches.
It’s safe to say that by this time of my life, I had truly lost it, and hated everything except for my friends and my music. I accepted Satan as the one true path to compensation, and considered girls to be nothing more than talking vaginas. But one thing I was still not well acquainted with, was drugs. Sure, I’d been smoking weed more than I was going to school, but after listening to this album romanticising the small print of substance abuse much more than any other record I’d heard before (portraying it as glamorous rather than tragic), I concluded that I needed to take much stronger chemicals as soon as I could. Which didn’t take long, but isn’t quite yet. Patience.
That said, Manson’s music wasn’t exclusively a destructive discovery, as it did open me up to an approach of music that I’d never even considered before: concept albums. Songs which played out like a story, which was so genius, I couldn't believe this wasn’t a much more common practice, and still can’t. I felt cheated if an album didn’t have some sort of a central plot, and still kind of do. And from that moment forward, I was so engrossed by the technique that every song I have ever written since has been in someway related to a bigger picture, for better or for worse.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Cradle of Filth - Cruelty and the Beast

Chapter 20:
Type O Negative - World Coming Down

Age: 15 years old

Despite my dabbling with the dark side, certain metals made little-to-no sense to me, and Type O Negative was definitely one of those examples. Regardless, this particular album did play an extremely prominent role in my life, due to the following story.
I’d attained a new girlfriend who was a bit older than me, and together we were at that ripe age where physical exploration was essential to any relationship, despite the fact that neither of us had any experience with such activities. We played with each other's bodies like toys, discovering the parts we didn’t have, each game getting a little more intense, edging closer towards that final step. Which was rad, because I had foolishly started to doubt any possibility of ever losing my virginity, and was worried that I’d have to lie about it for the rest of my days.
Luckily, it never came to that. One marijuana-hazed night during a get-together at her house, we snuck off to mess around in her room, as per usual. Except annoyingly, this time we could hear the noises of our friends outside, which wasn’t conducive to any form of arousal. And so in an ill-thought move, my girlfriend quickly slapped on the nearest cd she could find to drown out their conversation, and it just so happened to be this one.
I was preoccupied, but definitely registered the album during the many interludes which played out during our interaction, which included such sounds as: a sick man sniffing; struggling breaths; screams of death; heart monitors flat-lining; and the cries of a mourning woman. These were distracting at best, but this chick was cool, and we laughed it off as we best we could, trying to make things work. And we made things work. I was no longer a virgin, and this album performed as the unlikely soundtrack to what is such a significant moment in anybody’s history. But considering the route my life was traveling, it shouldn’t have been all that surprising.

Chapter 21:
Placebo - Black Market Music

Age: 16 years old

It seemed all the deals I’d made with Satan started to be fulfilled around this age. I was having weird sex regularly, I hung out with the greatest group of people I’d ever met, and finally, the drugs had presented themselves in mass quantities and variations.
Every weekend, my friends and I would meet anywhere, and shove our faces with as many uppers, downers and hallucinogens we could digest. We pushed our mental juices to the limits, witnessing each other in some seriously worrying states, and growing closer in these moments of dangerous euphoria as a result. And this album was always there, teachings us that it was ok to disregard moderation and have promiscuous sex with any gender, as long as it felt alright.
Our group was made up of many names: Me, Breton, Jimmy, David, my girlfriend - to name just a few. Together, we’d cuddle and sing along to these songs through blinded synthesised love, coupled with a humourous concern that we may be crossing some line somewhere. The lyrics in Commercial For Levi said it best, with: “If you don’t change your situation, then you’ll die. Please don’t die.” But we were too young to die. Too smart and too happy, am I right, guys?
A few years later, David passed away. He had snorted too much cocaine and overdosed alone in his apartment, just like all the good rockstars we idolised. The never-ending pain this death has caused me could never be done any form of justice in the short time we have here, but you must know that still to this day, Black Market Music makes me sick to my stomach from the levels of nostalgia; the levels of grief; and the levels of disbelief as to what actually happened back there. Tears continue to swell at every single one of these songs, which is why I love this album so much, with all of my heart. Because it reminds me of David. And I love him so much, with all of my heart too.
For a lot of my friends, this incident was a massive wake-up call, most of them quitting our risky behaviour on the spot.
But I didn’t want to wake-up just yet.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Muse - Origin of Symmetry

Chapter 22:
Glassjaw - Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Silence

Age: 17 years old

Less than a year later, after granting all my wishes, the Devil turned his back on me. First he gaveth, then he tooketh away. David’s death aside, my girlfriend also broke up with me somewhere around this time, and left me in a state of depression and self doubt I hadn’t really experienced before. And then, as if this wasn’t enough, the unspeakable happened: Korn, my favourite band of all time, released Untouchables.
What’s weird about this offering, is that it has come to rise as one of my most adored albums from the group. But at the time of its delivery, I wasn’t prepared for the change of direction, and immediately despised it. I felt like Korn had betrayed me personally with this alternative sound, and they purposefully wanted to hurt me specifically. The countless hours I had devoted to researching every single fact about these guys (most of which I am still unable to forget), suddenly amounted to nothing. The multiple scars of their logo carved into my body, now felt pathetic and regrettable. I became lost within myself for a long time, without any girl or sound to guide me and obsess over, forming trust issues with everything and losing interest in anything that wasn’t drug related. I was in dire desperation for a saviour to oversee me out of the swamp, and it didn’t come just yet either.
However, the first time I heard Glassjaw, a new spark of hope did flair up inside of me. It wasn’t the cure, but it was the faith. After a long period of disorientation, I realised there were actually bands out there other than Korn, and perhaps eventually, I could forgive them and move on. It was this album which showed me that I didn’t need to put all my semen into one outfit or woman. I could spread my love as thin and wide as I liked. It was a simple understanding, but with this power, I began to heal. Because Palumbo understood me. He was heartbroken too, and together we screamed out angsty over-pronunciation like curses on our lost lovers, which inspired my own writing significantly as we did so.
And during all their straight-edge moral brainwashing, I contemplated something I had never thought of before. Maybe... just maybe... Satan and sex and drugs wasn't the answer? Maybe there was another way to live my life? Perhaps all the pain and suffering was unnecessary, and there was another route to find some source of relief? But of course, by this time, it was far too late.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Aphex Twin - Richard D. James Album

Chapter 23:
Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP

Age: 18 years old

It’s hard to accurately pinpoint exactly when this album began to ruin me, because the process was so gradual yet consistent that I didn’t even notice it was happening until the installation was complete and the virus had been configured. And you can’t delete such a thing, as it still spreads through me at a cancerous rate while I type these very words. I have struggled to ween Eminem out of my operating system, but it has been futile, as this album still blatantly pisses on all my musical creations - most notably my recent Coming Down Happy project. Its dark influence told me to write songs about the people I hate, calling them out by name, slaying those who had wronged me with my art, and doing so as viciously as possible. And even though my tummy knows this as wrong, the results have always been beyond stimulating.
However, it was somewhere around this age in particular that the end of my life had become visible. I tried to reject Satan the best I could, but it was all in vain, as he had obtained full ownership over my soul and abused it at his will. Every girlfriend I got would leave me the moment they found out I was plotting their murder. I would take drugs not to have fun anymore, but to escape the voices in my head, and instead of experiencing any euphoric moments, all I would harvest was more hatred. My thoughts had turned bad, and they insisted on rhyming. I stalked celebrities in hope of stealing their fame. I felt nothing when I spat on my immediate company, except for perhaps some sense of entitlement. And I blame so much of this on Eminem, you wouldn't believe. He worked as the blueprint for most of my anti-social and politically incorrect behaviour, taking the steering wheel when I had lost all control.
Make no mistake, for a while I did fight the battle to get myself back, but eventually I grew tired and fell in defeat, giving up on all hope as I did so. I was no longer the main character in my own life, and I wanted out. I wanted to die.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
The Streets - A Grand Don't Come for Free

Chapter 24:
The Blood Brothers - ...Burn, Piano Island, Burn

Age: 19 years old

And then I broke, with this album delivering the final death punch. It smashed through the last bit of the wall I had built to protect my own personality, and flooded my mind with chaotic crowds of canaries and crows and horses and zeppelins and pedophiles. I couldn’t sleep and spent my nights screaming, wetting myself, regressing back into a child. I was blinded by madness and my own thoughts would tease me, forcing me to look at yellow imagery and surreal worlds that didn’t exist, pointing at graphs which intricately mapped out the loss of my sanity. My friends stopped visiting. The drugs stopped doing anything at all. I tore at my skin trying to remove imaginary scabs and my hair fell out. The final transformation and deterioration of my person had begun, and all the remains of my human crumbled to dust and left me for the wind.
I continued to make music but the process had become so erratic (a direct influence of spazz-heavy albums such as this one) that it didn’t make sense to anyone but me, when it even made sense to me at all. Surprisingly, sometimes this approach had some merit, like when me, Breton and Jimmy formed a band called No Better Ego Trip, and their more standard tastebuds balanced out my deluded absurdity. But more often than not, my art became a mess of unfinished ideas and over-layered sound effects which I found in the bathroom. And soon enough, I lost that too, spending my time doing nothing but waiting for someone to feed me. I needed help, but Satan wasn’t answering my calls, yet his laugh looped in my vision like a damaged record. My purpose had become irrelevant, and I had gone too far. All the while, this album told me to stop resisting; to just let them do what they came here for, because they were going to do it anyway, and it would be much less painful if I cooperated. And so that’s what I did.
I packed up what little I still knew about myself into a hypothetical suitcase, and moved out of my own being, allowing all the terrible things of the world to move in and take me over, rent free. I said goodbye to my body in the full knowledge that I would never see myself again, and that was the last anyone ever heard of me.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
The Dillinger Escape Plan - Calculating Infinity
Mr. Bungle - California

Chapter 25:
The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Age: 20 years old

And then POP, the dirty bubble of madness surrounding me burst, and I gently floated back into myself, while the rain clouds of my brain parted, revealing a sun which shone brighter than any of the suns before. That sun was The Beatles. It was Sgt. Pepper. It was the best album I’d ever heard, before and since.
What is generally considered to be the greatest release from the band who are generally considered to be the greatest artists ever, they rescued me from the sinking ship that was myself. They danced into my mind with a psychedelic wand, touching each immoral parasite which lived in there, morphing them into happy horses, blissful kites, and attractive traffic wardens, floating in a sky blinded by jewellery. They chased Satan out and welcomed me back inside with open arms, eager to share a brand new outlook. They warned that the filthy drugs were weighing on my posture, instead offering me more friendly substances to be used only in moderation (to which I politely refused, opting in that serenity to quit all chemicals for life, including marijuana). They explained that the female form should be cherished, not objectified, and I began to appreciate women, eventually settling down with a girlfriend I am still with today. They explained that people of different ages, races, and sexual preferences should be revered rather than discriminated against, as they encouraged diversity in our society, and I was convinced. But above all else, they explained to me that life was beautiful, the war I had been fighting was against myself, and the essence of living was LOVE and LOVE alone. My heart softened at this word, and I understood, once again developing affection for my family, for the general population of the world, and most importantly, for me.
Make no mistake: drugs and sex are one hell of a high. But so is music, only perhaps more powerful. And once I’d hit the peak of The Beatles’ catalogue, I knew I’d never get higher, nor did I have any intention of doing so. For with this album came a new level of musical maturity. I was no longer looking for the heaviest or the craziest or the freshest record. Instead, I looked down from my new found pinnacle, then slowly descended the ladder, working backwards through time, collecting classics and studying those who influenced them along the way. And I got better. I rid myself of all the demons and addictions, through finding my musical peace, my centre, my comfort zone. And I've never felt quite as happy as I do now. Thank you, Mr. Beatles. Thank you so much.

Other life-changing albums related to this entry:
Radiohead - In Rainbows
The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead
David Bowie - Hunky Dory
Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You


Epilogue
Looking back on my life in such a musical manner did expose a side of the coincidental trippiness Satan never explicitly revealed before, as if he had planted these little jokes only to be discovered now, all this time later. It was weird that my first best friend Richard shared a name with my first introduction to music, Cliff Richard. It was unusual that both Roxette and 2 Unlimited used exclamation points in their album titles, and that (besides ABBA) Ace of Base and Roxette were the most successful bands in Swedish history. Despite being common names, there was the Michael as in George or Jackson, and it’s incredible how many Jon variations cropped up, like Jonas Berggren (Ace of Base); Jon Bon Jovi; Jonathan Davis (Korn); Johnny Kelly (Type O Negative); Johnny Whitney (The Blood Brothers); and John Lennon. Even less common, how about the fact that Peter was not only the name of my best mate for a period back there, but also the name of Type O Negative’s Peter Steele, as well as the drummer for Offspring, Pete Parada. There were 3 Brians back there (Brian “Head” Welsch from Korn, Brian Warner from Marilyn Manson, and Brian Molko from Placebo), and there were 2 David drummers (David Silveria from Korn and Dave Grohl from Nirvana), as well as the 2 Davids I mentioned in my personal life. And finally, there was the lovely Kim, the name I was not only obsessed with in my youth, but also the name of Eminem’s dark muse, becoming the title for his most violent song on the album featured above. I’m not sure what this all means, if anything, but I figured it was worth the mention. Oh, Satan, you joker, you.
Regardless, I do find some relief in the knowledge which comes with age. It seems the older one gets, the less chance some album will come along and fuck everything up. I, for one, am grateful for this. For as this story has shown, to live life perpetually propelled by epiphanies will do your head in, and at the end of the day, becomes quite tiresome and repetitive (not to mention dangerous). Instead of a full-on speed race down the wrong way of the highway, we can now take the scenic cart-ride route - which is less exhilarating, sure, but provides more manageable bite-sized boxes, easier to stack up on top of each other, now reaching higher states in the more gradual sense. We become further difficult to influence, and grow more secure within our musical tastes. We find an area of stability and dig our roots in, still open to changes, but not relying on them to define who we are, mostly because we can't be bothered. And if this is getting old, so be it, I like it. Because even writing this article was far too intense for me at this age, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
the end


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Storm Thorgerson (28 February 1944 – 18 April 2013)

I can’t really remember when my fascination with album artwork began, but you can rest assured that whenever it was, my fascination with Storm Thorgerson was quick to follow. The more I researched the images I adored, the more this guy’s name (as well as the art group Hipgnosis, which Storm was a key member of before 1983) continued to crop up over and over again, until it was obvious this dude was in a league of his own.

Storm became a considerable fixture in my musical education and exploration. I have been known to listen to bands purely because he had done the artwork for them. I have written about him on a few occasions during this blog's existence, most notably in my 2010 article Easter Eggs Up Your Ass, as well as a piece so old it predates Juice Nothing itself, 2008's 30 Favourite Album Artworks I Own. When my sister told me that Mr. Thorgerson would be attending his own exhibition in South Africa, I begged her to purchase his latest book for me and get it signed - which she did, something I am as equally grateful for, as I am irrationally jealous of (to see me holding said signed book, with my sister's wisdom teeth included, click here). And while all of this was going on, it had become a progressively more crucial dream of mine to one day have Storm Thorgerson design artwork for my own music. He would've loved it. I'd let him do whatever he wanted.

Unfortunately, I never got the chance. 3 days ago, after a long battle with cancer which I wasn’t even aware of, Storm died at the age of 69. The death of someone I admire is always tough, but this one felt significantly more important than your average "rockstar". This wasn't some member of a band who would now cease to exist. This was a man who granted us the visuals for many of the greatest bands that had ever blessed our ears, going on to play a pivotal role in the presentation of so many albums we worship, including those from AC/DC, Anthrax, Biffy Clyro, Black Sabbath, The Cranberries, Dream Theatre, Genesis, Led Zeppelin, The Mars Volta, Megadeth, Muse, The Offspring, Paul McCartney, Pendulum, Pink Floyd, Scorpions, Styx, and T. Rex, to name very few. Most artists start to suck and fade out of popularity at some point, but not Storm. In fact, I think he was only improving as time went on, some of his most impressive works only arriving in more modern years. And when you learn that his most recent offering for Biffy Clyro’s Opposites was released in January 2013, it's safe to assume he had a lot more to offer, if given the lifespean to do so. All of this into consideration, is why the loss feels a little bigger than your general big tragedy, and I mourn the man much more than I could do justice here.

But I still had to try, which is why I threw together this little bit of writing. It's to pay my respects and to keep the memory of this artist alive, in my own small way. To do this a bit better, I have decided to let his genius speak for itself, by selecting 20 of the legend's works which stood out most to me (either as a personal favourite or as one of his more iconic pieces) and then displaying them below. However, I urge you not to stop there, and to go fourth into your own research, because even if you weren’t aware of this name until now, you will be impressed about how much of his art you were already very familiar with.

Rest in Peace to the Greatest Album Artwork Creator of All Time.
Storm Thorgerson (28 February 1944 – 18 April 2013)

PLEASE NOTE: Storm refused to use Photoshop in his creations, and he had no intention of ever learning it. So keep in mind that everything you see here is real, unless otherwise stated.

Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon (1973)

Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here (1975)

Led Zeppelin - In Through the Out Door (1979)

10CC - Look Hear? (1980)

US Edition

Ween - The Mollusk (1997)

Phish - Slip Stitch and Pass (1997)

The Cranberries - Bury The Hatchet (1999)

The Cranberries - Wake Up And Smell The Coffee (2001)

Muse - Absolution (2003)

The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium (2003)

The Mars Volta - Frances The Mute (2005)

The Mars Volta - Amputechture (2006)

Mars Volta did not end up choosing this design

Umphrey's McGee - The Bottom Half (2007)

Biffy Clyro - Puzzle (2007)

Biffy Clyro - Only Revolutions (2009)

Muse - Uprising (2009)

Single

Shpongle - Ineffable Mysteries from Shpongleland (2009)

Pendulum - Immersion (2010)

Pendulum eventually got an outside artist to mess with Storm's original piece.
As a result, this one does use Photoshop.
Storm was not happy about it.

Steve Miller Band - Let Your Hair Down (2011)

Younger Brother - Vaccine (2011)

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20 White Artists Who Have Said "Nigger" In A Song

Quick History Lesson
Ah yes, the n-word. No other unit of expression fascinates me on quite the same level as this one. The main reason is exactly what you'd think it would be: the racial segregation of it all. Black people can say it. White people cannot. But is it ok for us to write it in “inverted commas”? Am I even allowed to write this article? Nobody knows, which is why over the last few years, the word has crawled toward the front of my psyche, encouraging me to take note of it wherever I went - albeit very cautiously, saying it only when I’m alone in my room, rapping along with Jay-Z.

The word itself begins (like so many words), with the Latin “niger”, which simply means “black”. Since then, plenty of variations and alternate spellings have sprung up, but the most notable of them was the Spanish “negro” (which is still used today somewhat), and the American “negar” which was used to describe the African slaves (which is where all this mess started). However, it wasn’t considered all that derogatory back in the day, as it literally meant “black skin” and that isn’t exactly racist, but more of an observation. In fact Indians, Mexicans, and Anglos were all considered “niggurs” at a point too.

But as we all know, by the 1900’s, things had changed. The word turned bad and was considered offensive, being replaced by “coloured” in 1909. In the late 1960’s, “coloured” was considered offensive, being replaced by the word “black”. And then in the 1990’s, “black” was considered offensive, being replaced by the more blanket term “African-American”. All the while, confused whites were just saying “Yes, yes, whatever you want! We’re sorry! We’re sorry!!”

However, it was a bit before then (around the mid-80’s), that the non-standard “nigga” (or “niggah”) became a common phrase within the black community. It was originally coined by comedians, and then quickly leaked into (most notably) the musical genre of hip-hop, which used the word as a term of endearment towards each other. NWA started it, mommy, and then everyone else was fast to follow. This practice has continued right up until modern times, where it has become next to impossible to avoid the once racist slur, casually being uttered by almost every black artist in the game, no matter how hard you try to escape it.

And there is only one rule: White People Cannot Say It. That would be offensive and you might get shot. Some whities have called this “reverse racism”, but me (as a white guy), I say, hey, for decades back there our past generations did kinda rape the black culture as well as their land, all the while selling them off like cattle to the highest bidder. So I think granting them one little word is the very fucking least we could do.

That said, some white artists have said the word, and that’s what this article is about. Here, we find examples of white rappers just trying to fit in with their black homies. We find examples of poets, who have use the word with a different (albeit still very forceful) definition. And then we find examples of artists who were just plain dirty racists. But whatever the reasons, we will be pin-pointing in detail who these guys were, the context in which the word was used, the general public reaction to their behaviour, and how we should be feeling about the whole thing (in case you can’t work it out for yourself).

But please note: I have tried my best to be as politically correct as possible in face of a decidedly very politically incorrect subject. I am hoping people take this for what it is: not an attempt to offend anyone, but rather as an educational piece about a topic which is very real, yet generally unspoken about. So whether you are white, black, brown, grey, yellow, red, green, midnight blue, light beige, deep cyan or khaki gold (like me), let’s all come together and unite over one thing: the love for my blog. Tell everyone about me, they’ll love it.

20. V-Nasty

“I think yo bitch like me, the nigga wanna fight me. Yeah I got that chopper red beam on his head though. Nigga talkin’ shit but I push his shit back though.” - Cooking (among others)

If you don’t know who V-Nasty is, don’t worry too much about it, she’s not all that famous. However, there is a good chance you’ve heard her name before. Do you know of Kreayshawn? The girl that sings “Gucci Gucci, Gucci Gucci, Guccigucciguccigucci” or however that song goes? It’s kinda popular, having racked up over 40 million views on YouTube, so maybe you were one of those people. Anyway, on that song we hear the line “I'm yelling ‘Free V-Nasty’ 'til my throat is raspy”, which is about this very V-Nasty herself, as both these chicks are members of the hip-hop group White Girl Mob.

However, V (can I call her V?) has received quite a substantial amount of negative attention thrust on top of her because of this article’s very topic. She has been known to frequently drop n-bombs all over her rhymes, and then claims “if I can’t say the n-word, then nobody should say it”, all sense of entitlement and shit. She also assured everyone that the white people of her hood use the word all the time, and as a result, anyone opposing her is a “fucking hater”. Of course.

Response to this has been mixed: Talib Kweli called it “disappointing”; Yelawolf said V-Nasty could find herself getting slapped up, and maybe by a white dude; Fat Joe defended that hip hop is supposed to be for everyone, and if those artists can “say nigger all day” without being racist, then she could do the same; all the while most people just asked “who’s V-Nasty?”

The controversy got so out of control, that Kreayshawn had to distance herself from her friend, openly stating that she herself would never use the word, and hoped that people could tell the difference between the two of them. Eventually all of this pressure got to V-Nasty, and she has recently stated that she will stop using the word in future songs.

19. Matt Johnson (The The)

“And while the niggers of this world are starving with their mouths wide open, what is it that turns the coins we throw at them into worthless little tokens?” - Violence of Truth

With only one constant member (Matt Johnson, duh) and an array of formers, The The probably had their most interesting incarnation around 1989. This was due, in part, to collaborations with Sinead O’Connor; in part to ex-Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr becoming a full-time member; and in part to the album Mind Bomb, which explored some new topics for the man, including religion, romance, politics, and, of course, race.

It is on this release that we find the song in question, but you may also be surprised to find it hardly caused any trouble at all. This is most likely owed to the overall context of the album, as it was delivered like some hard-hitting truth or something, which meant Matt never really had to answer for it. However, I did find one interesting interview with the dude in Melody Maker, which stated the following:

“on 'Violence of Truth,' I'm saying that God is evil. God is everything. I'm asking what it is that makes us ashamed to be white when we close our eyes to the sound of machine gun fire. Why the niggers of the world are starving with their mouths wide open? Why is it that anything on this earth that we don't understand pushes us to our knees to worship or to damn. These are the rules of religion. These are the rules of the land. That's how the forces of darkness will suppress the spirit of man.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I reckon Matt definitely got the wrong end of the stick on how use that word, even if he had the best intentions. I mean, the dude just referred to the collective black race as “niggers” in casual conversation right there, pretty sure that’s not cool. It’s no wonder then that Stylus Magazine said “Heavy-handed ‘The Violence of Truth’ threatens to cross over the taste barrier before leaping it in one bound with a clumsy, crass, and unnecessary lyric about ‘The niggers of the world.’ It might have been a comment on the impotent rock star patronage of African famine and the various economic and military catastrophes unfurling across that continent at the time, but in practice it stands out like a sore thumb amidst the non-more-white-and-affluent feel of the album as a whole. In the Britain of 2006 it feels awkward—seventeen years ago it was either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid, and the odds are on the latter.” Yeah, that.

18. David Allan Coe

“It's enough to make a man throw up, sure is hard to figure how any decent girl could ever fuck a greasy nigger” - Nigger Fucker (among others)

Despite first uttering the naughty word on one of his biggest albums Rides Again (“Tryin' like the devil to find the Lord. Workin' like a nigger for my room and board. Coal-burnin' stove, no natural gas. If that ain't Country, I'll kiss your ass” - If That Ain’t Country, 1977), it was the song Nigger Fucker off his highly criticized 1978 Underground Album which really got the attention he was blatantly so desperate for. As an independent release, David intentionally put together something which he thought was a more humourous offering, by using all the profanity and sexually charged lyrics he could muster. This included the aforementioned slur, which resulted in much accusation of racism (er, you think?), so much so that even renowned author Neil Strauss labelled the material as "among the most racist, misogynist, homophobic and obscene songs recorded by a popular songwriter."

Allan Coe has defended his use of the word, by stating "anyone that hears this album and says I'm a racist is full of shit", and how could anyone argue with that logic? Although it does have to be said that in Coe's band at the time was African-American drummer Kerry Brown, so that makes it ok, surely.

17. Dexter Holland (The Offspring)

“Beat all the niggers. Beat whoever you see. Don't need a reason, we're L.A.P.D.” - L.A.P.D.

Even though I’m definitely not their biggest fan, there is no denying that The Offspring are one the most popular pop-punk bands in recent decades. Their album Smash was a really big, uhm, smash, and they continued to churn out many hits and misses since that time, eventually going on to sell over 40 million records worldwide. But it was their earlier more traditional punk rock material which this entry focuses on, more specifically, the 1992 album Ignition which featured the above mentioned song, L.A.P.D.

Of course, in context, it’s easy to see why nobody complained. The attack was not directed at any minority, but rather, the police force and their own racist tendencies. This is all backed up by the rest of the lyrics, which go on about general cop brutality in Los Angeles, as well as how flawed a legal system is where officers can get away with whatever they want. Said track also includes the line “Beat all the white trash. Beat whoever you see...” which is great, because at least they cover both race-bases there.

And while comments about racism itself from the mouth of Dexter are hard to find, it has been suggested that The Offspring's 1993 hit Come Out And Play did tackle the subject more directly, especially with the lines “If one guy's colors and the other's don't mix, they're gonna bash it up, bash it up, bash it up, bash it up, hey!” as well as what one can only assume is the sarcastic “You gotta keep 'em separated” alluding to segregation. But all of this is just speculation, and at the end of the day, what really matters is that Dexter sported dreads for a long portion of his career, and no white man with dreads could ever be racist. It’s impossible.

16. Sierra and Bianca Casady (CocoRosie)

“Jesus loves me, but not my wife. Not my nigger friends or their nigger lives” - Jesus Loves Me

One of the more eccentric entries on this list, these American sisters are often recognized as forerunners of the Freak Folk genre, in all their unique stylings and confident weirdness. But even as they try to hide under their blanket of quirky protection, they have not yet managed to fully escape some hefty doses of internet hatred. Hatred which isn’t exclusively a result of their hard-to-swallow music either, but also surrounding some very serious race issues.

One reporter wrote a particularly interesting article about how member Bianca Casady has been known to attend Kill Whitey hip-hop parties. These are organised explicitly for wealthy white hipster peeps, where they are encouraged to mock the dance moves, speaking styles, and general attitudes of black people - the more outrageous the better. The idea behind this, is to provide secure conditions for so-called “white hip hop fans” to enjoy the underground dirty vibe of rap, without being afraid of “blacks”. In fact, Bianca was quoted saying that she found regular hip-hop events to be “really hardcore” and that Kill Whitey parties were “a safe environment to be freaky.” Now, I’m not saying any of this means absolutely anything, but it has been reported a number of times since, which does help to fuel accusations.

I digress. The main focus of this article has to do with the above lyrics, which were released on their 2004 album La maison de mon rêve (translated to The House Of My Dream). In an interview with Splendid Magazine, the girls spoke up about the issue, stating the following:

“It's not usually discussed or confronted with us, or at least a lot less in Europe. In the States, we've had very few, but some occasions, where people have gotten confused by the message, and wonder if we were being offensive, and maybe if we were ourselves racist, which was really shocking (...) I don't know if you recognize it, but it's a children's song, and it's really popular. I don't know if it's really popular in Canada as well. Anyway, kids learn it really early, and it's really stripping down Christianity to its most basic, to a child's perspective. There's such a large population of African-Americans for whom Christianity is a huge thing, but Christianity still remains to be exclusive, and is very segregated, and it's very intricately connected to an old-fashioned mentality that's still very racist. To me, it's a huge contradiction with Christ's message.”

But despite this, and despite the fact that this album was only meant to be heard by their friends (the label Touch & Go pushed for the release of it), and despite the fact that the girls wear fake moustaches, certain venues have refused to allow CocoRosie to play the song during concerts, which is understandable, I reckon.

15. Necro

“That's the second time a nigga tried to kill me, I'm starting to feel important.” - Underground (among others)

Ron Braunstein (aka Necro)'s first musical interests began in the wonderful world of thrash metal, which meant that, by the time he had ventured into hip-hop, he had already been well tainted by the touch of Satan. So much so, that he is known as the pioneer of “Death Rap”, an ultraviolent form of hip-hop where no subject matter is out of bounds. Hence why we can hear the dude sing about violence, drugs, rape, The Occult, Charles Manson, prostitution, human trafficking, cannibalism, urine, and the movie Scarface. Not only this, but his antisocial antics extend beyond his songs, as there are a few examples of riots breaking out at his gigs, as well as this one time when he got fined $3000 for fracturing a man’s cheekbone just before a show. Oh, not to mention that his song “Garbage Bag” (as well as a few others) were cited as key influences to Michael Thomas Rafferty (28 years old) and Terri-Lynne McClintic (18 years old), who listened to Necro moments before kidnapping, sexually assaulting, and then smashing the ribs out of 8 year old Victoria Stafford, until she died. So, really, for the rapper to say the n-word isn’t all that surprising.

With that in mind, people have still confronted Necro about his casual and frequent use of the word, to which he has responded that (being a Jew) the first ghettos in history were Jewish, and somehow that was relevant in his mind, and made it all ok. He also claimed we should rather be blaming the black rappers for selling their music to white kids, because that's what “brainwashed” him into saying the word in the first place. He then concluded that he never meant it in any disrespectful way, but rather as a term of affection, and where he grew up it was common language. However, he is using the word less and less these days, and is apparently trying to avoid it. That’s nice, thanks Necro.

14. Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedys)

“Play ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz, on your five grand stereo. Braggin that you know how the niggers feel cold and the slums got so much soul.” - Holiday in Cambodia

As one of the first American hardcore bands to make an impact in the UK, The Dead Kennedys were known for their fast riffs and harsh lyrics, which were never too far away from some twisted sense of humour. Because of this, they were always in trouble, most notably during an obscenity trial over their 1985 album Frankenchrist, because they used HR Giger's piece Landscape #XX as the front cover (click here to see it, probably NSFW). Luckily, they won the case, but this ordeal nearly left them bankrupt.

However (and more on topic), it was their second single released in 1980 (by the name of Holiday In Cambodia) which we will be focusing on here. It contained the n-word, but surprisingly, did not really result in the backlash one would assume. This is most likely because (in context) it worked as satire, comparing the contrasting lifestyles of self-righteous Americans to those of the Pol Pot regime in Cambodia. This impression was further cemented by the single's artwork, which depicted a member of a right-wing crowd beating a student protester’s corpse with a chair during the 1976 October Thailand massacre.

But despite this not being their only use of the word (the 1981 remake of their first single California Über Alles, retitled as We've Got a Bigger Problem Now, contained the lyrics “Ku Klux Klan will control you, still you think it's natural. Nigger knockin' for the master race, still you wear the happy face”), Holiday in Cambodia was definitely their most popular, so much so that it has been covered by Earth Crisis, Boysetsfire, Richard Cheese, and Foo Fighters (featuring System of a Down’s Serj Tankian on vocals) to name a few. Not to mention that it was also featured on the TV show Neighbours, as well as the video game Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock. Hell, even Levi’s tried to use the song in a commercial, which resulted in a lawsuit between former Kennedys members (Jello being the one fighting furiously against it). But in most (or even all) these cases, the offending word was changed to the much more PC term “brothers”, and even Jello himself no longer uses the original word in his performances, opting to replace it with “blacks” instead.

But was Jello a racist? The answer is, of course, hell no. For starters, Dead Kennedys second drummer D.H. Peligro was of an African descent. Furthermore, when Dead Kennedys became popular within the neo-Nazi punk movement and attracted the skinheads to their concerts, they promptly wrote a song called Nazi Punks Fuck Off, which I think gets the message across loud and clear.

13. Jimmy Urine (Mindless Self Indulgence)

“This one goes out to my whores, niggers and negros, fucking with my style, fucking with my flow” - Dickface (among many many others)

Using a mix of of punk, alternative, electronica, techno, industrial and hip-hop to deliver their message, it should come as no surprise that this band’s lyrics are driven by the same no-holds-barred and in-your-face energy that their music is. And while they haven’t exactly broken into mainstream consciousness just yet, they have supported some big names who have, such as Linkin Park, System of a Down, Korn and Rammstein - to name a few. They owe this, in part, to their unapologetic shock value, which includes (but is not limited to) overtly sexual lyrics (which often dance on the line between homosexuality and homophobia, freely saying the "faggot" word like it ain't no thang), as well as, of course, frequent use of the dreaded n-word.

In fact, it’s hard to listen to any MSI album without coming across the term in question, as they utter the slur in so many songs that it became difficult for me to pick just one. We have earlier examples on their 1999 album Tight (“No, this is mine, nigger, this is mine!” - Tornado/“Lemme give you the reason to fuck me up, nigga” - Daddy) right up until their 2008 album You’ll Rebel To Anything (“Nigga, for all the stolen goods, as I rock that niggas and get freaky-deaky” - Two Hookers And An 8-Ball”) and everything in between (“Down to defy nigga's, and my double wide nigga's” - Wack on 2003's Despierta Los Niños EP). Because of this, the accusations have flowed in the plenty, but Jimmy Urine has been quick to stand up for himself. My vote for his best defence comes in the form a Method Man cover, named Bring The Pain, which not only boasts the line “And all you niggaz come and test me, I'm gonna lick out your brains” but also features at least 12 other mentions of the word within its contents. Usually in concert, this song's performance is introduced by Jimmy with some variation of the following quote:

“Because of this next song people think that I am a racist. Which is true, because I fucking hate white people. In London or anywhere, always online. But, I didn’t write this next fucking song - no! Another man wrote it. A pretty man. A strong man. A Method Man, if you will. And he wrote it so well, that who am I to change any fucking lyric in it? As I am a purist. So, if you have a problem with the word “nigger’, please get on your telephones and call Method Man at his agency at 212 864 3219, and when his agent and/or secretary therein picks up, I want you all to say: 'I came to bring the pain'.”

To me, this is a great justification, which stands as evidence that Mindless Self Indulgence are really just a hip-hop satire outfit, and as big fans of the genre, are simply using the word at lyrical value rather than some derogatory term. That said, the word is strangely absent from their 2008 album “If”, which could mean the opposition eventually got to them.

That said, with lyrics like “Five year old mother-fucking pantyshot, can't complain. I didn't even touch her so I can't be blamed. 5 year old pantyshot in my brain. My life has meaning when she spreads her legs” from their early demo song Pantyshot, it’s surprising that the n-word got any attention at all.

12. Elvis Costello

“Only takes one itchy trigger. One more widow. One less white nigger” - Oliver’s Army

Costello is a true legend in every sense of the word (having won a Grammy; being twice nominated for the Brit Awards’ Best British Male; and being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame), which is why I was quite surprised to discover the man has received a fair share of racist allegations during his career. The biggest one occurred during a drunken argument one night in an Ohio Holiday Inn bar, where the singer referred to James Brown as a “jive-ass nigger”, and then went on to call Ray Charles a “blind, ignorant, nigger”. As to be expected, he apologised profusely after the incident, claiming it was his intention to be as offensive and as obnoxious as possible in hopes of bringing a conversation to an end, and that "drunken talk isn't meant to be printed in the paper”. But the damage was done, and he spent many years following trying to live it all down.

That said (and as far as song lyrics go) his usage of the n-word in the above example was spoken in a far tamer context, and as a result, was somewhat overlooked. This is because the track itself was presented as social commentary, written about a trip Elvis had made to Belfast in 1978. It was there that he witnessed young children bearing automatic weapons, which had become such a common image in the country, that it no longer even made the news. Exposure to these conditions affected Costello so much, that it inspired him to write this piece, which was all very serious and sad. Because of the subject matter, the radio was more than happy to play the song with the n-word intact (most likely because the term “white nigger” seems much less offensive, don't you agree?) and as a result, this was Elvis Costello and The Attractions most successful single ever, spending four weeks at #2 in the UK charts, and going on to be covered by Belle & Sebastian, Blur, and OK Go - to name a few. However, sometimes those artists opted to carefully leave out the naughty word, because they were scared.

11. GG Allin

“No room for nigger. No room for you in my world.” - No Room For Nigger (among others)

If this artist’s use of the n-word in such a blatantly racist fashion offends you, then allow me to educate you as to why this is absolutely nothing on his CV of filth.

Born Jesus Christ Allin, GG was a heroin addict. He used to perform naked, and took laxatives before he did so, ensuring that he'd shit all over the stage, usually deciding it'd be a good idea to roll around in the feces and then throw it at the crowd, like a monkey. He wouldn’t even wash himself before the after-parties. He'd get into fist fights every show, with either men or women, he didn't care, and this is often why people turned up to to watch him in the first place. The majority of his gigs got shut down by the cops before they were finished, and he even once went to jail for the rape and torture of a prostitute, to which he confessed to cutting, burning, and drinking her blood - but promised it was consensual.

His entire career, he threatened to blow himself up on stage, taking all his fans with him. Unfortunately/fortunately (depending on whose side you’re on) he never got the chance, as he ended up like so many do: dying of an accidental heroin overdose. At his open casket funeral (still smothered with his own poo with a bottle of Jim Beam tucked into his hand), fans were encouraged to place drugs or alcohol in his dead mouth, and some even performed felatio on the corpse.

Getting the picture yet? So needless to say, his songs weren’t all that politically correct either, covering every dark image a man could possibly comprehend, including (but not limited to) paedophilia, blasphemy and homophobia - despite the fact that he openly admitted to sleeping with men (including his brother) so there is some weird twisted defence in there somewhere. Not to mention his song titles, which were the poisonous cherry on top of a rancid cake, with such great examples as: “I Kill Everything I Fuck”; “I’m Gonna Rape You”; “I Wanna Piss On You”; “I Want To Fuck The Shit Out Of You”; “Kill Thy Father, Rape Thy Mother”; ”Legalize Murder”; “My Sadistic Killing Spree”; “Needle Up My Cock”; “Scabs On My Dick”; “Suck Dog”; and “Expose Yourself To Kids”. In fact, that last title has got to be one of the foulest songs ever written, featuring the line “Suck a little hairless crack. Hold 'em down, they can’t fight back. Watch 'em scream and cry with fear. Fucking cunt, don’t tell nobody, dear” and other such misbehaviour.

Take all that into consideration, and the whole n-word thing doesn't actually sound that bad in comparison, even though he did say it multiple times (“The KKK took the niggers out to die. When the blackie's burning, I hope he's gonna die.” - Die When You Die; “Hey bad niggers with your hand in the pot” - I’ll Slice Your Fucking Throat; “in Chicago, niggers tried to kill me, but you didn't pull through” - I’m A Gyspy Motherfucker; “I want to kill my brother. Kill my ex-wife. I want to kill the president. Kill the niggers too” - I Wanna Kill You, etc etc). Which is why nobody held their breath whilst waiting for an apology or even an explanation from the man about racism or anything else, because if you had to challenge him about such things, he would have punched you in the face with a bloody fist full of semen and shit. And then you would know there was only ever one true God of punk rock. GG Allin. Amen.

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10. Ninja (Die Antwoord)

“Yo, DJ Hi-Tek. Where you at, my nigga?” - DJ Hi-Tek Rulez (also used as the outro for Fok Julle Naaiers)

When the 2012 sophomore album from this zef-side South African rap-rave crew dropped, it caused some serious Ten$ion (heh) with Interscope Records. Reasons given were many, but evidence suggested that it was some of their lyrical content which had caused the label to squirm. In particular, the outro for the very dark Fok Julle Naaiers single featured some highly questionable sentences, which (besides the above example) included: “DJ Hi-Tek will fuck you in the ass, you punk ass white boy”; “You can’t touch me faggot, you’re not man enough”; “DJ Hi-Tek will eat your asshole, I’ll fuck you in front of everybody you bitch”; and “I’ll fuck you 'til you love me, faggot” - all of which were almost direct word-for-word quotations from Mike Tyson, spoken during his Lennox Lewis fight press conference. But despite this fact, the two parties could not come to an agreement, and Die Antwoord left the company.

Of course, and as most of us know, Die Antwoord are anything but racist, having embraced their South African heritage and collaborated with many different races from the rainbow nation over the years. However, the word “faggot” specifically seemed to cause much more commotion, to the point that Ninja released the following statement to explain himself:

“I’d like to set the record straight here once and for all. (1) DJ-Hi-Tek is gay, so there you go. Now you all know. (2) DJ-Hi-Tek says the word “faggot” doesn’t hold any power over him. Hi-Tek says “faggot” all the time, cos he’s kind of, like, taken that word and made it his bitch. (3) Just to be fucking clear, Die Antwoord are not homophobic. Some of my tightest homies are gay, like for instance, DJ-Hi-Tek, who happens to be one of my best friends in the whole foking universe. And finally, (4) It comes across to us that some people from America are heavy sensitive about the use of certain words. But the thing is, what you need to understand is: we’re not from America. We’re from South Africa. And in South Africa people aren’t so pumped up about these words. Like, for instance, in South Africa, a white guy will say to a black guy ‘yo, wassup, my nigger?’ and the black guy will be like ‘eei, what’s up my nigger?’ and no one freaks out or anything. That’s why they say South Africa is a rainbow nation, 'cos you get different people of different colours and different sexual styles, or whatever, all coming together as one.”

Now, as a South African, I don’t really suggest walking up to a black guy and saying “wassup my nigger?” because I haven’t seen that working all too well in my experience. However, I do think Ninja has a point, and with that little speech, cleared up the air a bit, preventing any further racial trouble from anyone else.

But what surprised me more than anything else, was the most intense racial slur this duo have ever uttered which slid cleanly under the radar. On the first track of Ten$ion titled Never Le Nkemise (translated from zulu/afrikaans to “You Can't Stop Me”) we hear Ninja say “die wit [the white] kaffir”. Kaffir itself is, in South African lingo, much much more derogatory than the word “nigger”, used to label black people as “non-believers” during the heavy apartheid era, resulting in much violence and even murders during our past troubles. In fact, the legal act No. 4 of 2000 (Promotion of Equality and Prevention of Unfair Discrimination Act) actually prohibits said word, even if not explicitly stated. I mean, as I mentioned, I’m not too sure you could say “wassup my nigger?” to black guy in South Africa and get away with it, but if you tried to say “wassup my kaffir?”, you would most definitely get a hiding.

9. Frank Zappa

“A foolish young man of the negro persuasion devoted his life to become a Caucasian. He stopped eating pork, he stopped eating greens, he traded his dashiki for some Jordache Jeans. He learned to play golf and he got a good score, now he says to himself, ‘I ain't no nigger no more’” - You Are What You Is

As a Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame inductee and a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award winner, Frank Zappa’s styles knew no bounds and were difficult to categorize, as he effortlessly slid between humorous parody rock ‘n’ roll; full-on experimental doo-wop; eclectic jazz; and even some traditional classical compositions. But despite his cult following and critical acclaim, his vibe was far too weird to ever fully break into the mainstream, and still to this day almost everyone knows his name, yet hardly any of them can name a song. So when you couple this with his daunting 62 album catalogue, you can understand why he never really got into any trouble over the quick n-word slip in his 1981 song You Are What You Is (from the album of the same name). Because nobody even noticed.

The song’s subject matter was touchy at best, telling the listener to embrace their culture (which is good advice) by using the examples of two young men. The first, a middle class white dude who lives a decent life, but pretends to have come from years of hardship in order to play the blues and be accepted as more “black”. The second is the man featured in the above quote, being the black counter-opposite, changing his diet and denying his culture to be accepted as more “white”. Which may be a little insensitive to some, sure, but a common story nonetheless.

And Zappa wasn’t a racist. Evidence includes: how much of his music was inspired by black artists (with particular interest in early R&B and doo-wop); how he was friends and performed with so many black artists (some of whom were actually involved with the recording of this song - point proven when you watch this live version of the track, where Ray White and Frank Zappa share vocal duties, which stands as a great black & white harmony on a song about blacks who want to be whites, and whites who want to be blacks - it’s kinda beautiful, in that way); and finally, how he had taken the piss out of so many diverse subjects that any religion, music style, or race was fair game, never meant as anything but harmless satire.

And I guess when the all-black a cappella group The Persuasions covered this song themselves in 2000, it made it extra-ok.

8. Bob Dylan

“And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger, no one doubted that he pulled the trigger. And though they could not produce the gun, the DA said he was the one who did the deed. And the all-white jury agreed.” - Hurricane

Out of every song on this list, no other example was more justified in context, and yet very few caused quite as much controversy.

As with any good Dylan composition, this 1976 Desire track begins with an interesting backstory. It revolves around professional boxer Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, who was accused and found guilty of a triple homicide - despite the appalling lack of evidence. The conviction was (and still has been) considered to be racially motivated, and despite Carter always professing his innocence while others doubted the fairness of the trial, he was sentenced to a double life term in prison.

The story hit Dylan hard, who visited Rubin on occasion, and eventually decided to write a song about the man. It was one of Dylan’s very few protest songs, and despite his difficulty in writing it, proved to be his fourth most successful single of the decade, reaching #33 on the Billboard chart and #43 in the UK.

And, naturally, controversy followed, snapping at the ankles of the song before it was even released. Columbia Records put their foot down about certain lyrics, which told the story by using some less-than-proven facts whilst mentioning people by name, forcing Dylan to rewrite the entire thing at least once. But even with the revised lyrics, people were quick to point out holes in the song, for example: Carter was never the “number one contender”, nor was there any mention of the boxer’s well documented criminal history and short temper, rendering the whole effort to be read as one heavily biased piece of work.

It didn’t matter - the song did exactly what it was meant to do, shoving the story into a much higher consciousness, and causing an uproar from dirty hippies who didn’t do their research, all over the world. And more than anything, the story was forever immortalized by Bob Fucking Dylan, which is pretty great if you ask me, and eventually lead to the 1999 film The Hurricane (starring Denzel Washington) which too has come under fire for misguided information. However, Carter was ultimately released early after 22 years incarceration, as a result of some heavy reconsideration, which could have had something to do with this very track.

But was Bob Dylan a racist? What, really? After all that? No, he wasn’t. He has written many many songs about racial injustice if you are willing to look for them, so don’t be stupid.

7. Marilyn Manson

“Everybody's someone else's nigger. I know you are, so am I” - Irresponsible Hate Anthem (among others)

Of course, a list of this nature would not be complete without the modern day shock-rock-God-of-Fuck himself, Brian Warner. In a career that has been fueled by controversy surrounding religious hatred and violent anthems (going on to sell 50 million records worldwide, I might add), it should come as no surprise that the n-word has cropped up now and again.

But while we have “Why are all the niggers in the unemployment line?” from 1994’s White Trash (an acoustic remake of Cake And Sodomy on the Smells Like Children EP, performed by Tony Wiggums, which got so heavily edited that an uncensored version is next to impossible to find); as well as “I fuck you because you are my nigger” from Para-Noir (sung by Pat and Lily on 2003’s The Golden Age Of Grotesque, the former being the name of his cat, and most likely, is his cat); I chose the specific headline quote because the word comes directly from Manson’s mouth alone.

You can find the song on 1996’s classic Antichrist Superstar, an album which caused one of the biggest upsets in recent decades, and yet not because of that word whatsoever. No, the slur (despite not meant in any racial context) was the least of the band’s problems, as the majority of backlash came as a result of the anti-Christian themes and glorification of suicide. Mothers cried and politicians used it as an example of our youth’s degrading morals. Protests followed, then death threats, and finally ludicrous accusations that Manson was solely responsible for the Columbine High School Massacre. So I think it’s safe to say that there was far too much on everyone’s plates to even notice the album’s opening use of “nigger”, instead everyone freaking out about Satanism rather than racism. Which is a much smaller problem, in my opinion.

However, the question of racism has been put forward to Manson before, and in his usual intelligence, had the following to say:

“I hate as many black people as I do white. Those kinds of assumptions aggravate me, because I take such effort to make a powerful statement on stage against something like white power. If someone is so ignorant to perceive it as something like that, it's like the biggest insult.”

And I mean, at the end of the day, it’s all about shock for shock’s sake, isn’t it? I mean, sure he blatantly wore blackface makeup during his Golden Age Of Grotesque era, but that was a reference to the late 1800’s itself, wasn't it? Of course he is a collector of Nazi memorabilia, but he’s a weird quirky artist entertainer, so it’s ok then, right? Isn’t it? Hey?

6. Edward Tudor-Pole (Sex Pistols)

“Mick Jagger, white nigger” - The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle

Being held responsible for initiating the punk movement with just one simple album (1977’s Nevermind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols) seemed to result in a fall as fast as the rise. Less than three months after the release, the band had split, leaving an awed trail of destruction and inspiration behind them. Rotten went on to form Public Image Ltd under his birth name Johnny Lyndon, and Sid Vicious was dead by the end of the year, overdosing on heroin after highly publicised accusations that he'd murdered his then-girlfriend, Nancy Spungen.

The following year in 1979, The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle mockumentary and soundtrack was released, which is where the above quote can be found. Rotten wanted nothing to do with the project, so instead, they filled his vocal gaps with performances from other artists, most notably Edward Tudor-Pole, who was briefly considered to become Rotten’s permanent replacement, at the time. As a result, it’s his voice you hear on that song (mostly).

The lyrics themselves attacked various celebrities in very imaginative ways, and included the following: Ian Dury was a cockney fraud; Bob Dylan had a parking ticket stuck to his asshole; Rod Stewart had a luggage label tied to his tonsils (???); Elton John had a hair transplant; Sid Vicious was a rock ‘n’ roll cliche; Johnny Rotten’s days were numbered; and yes, that Mick Jagger was a white nigger. However, hardly anyone noticed, as saying “white nigger” kind of softens the blow, and Jagger had been accused of stealing African dance moves for a while before, so maybe it was justified? Whatever. The lyric is just too fucking funny, I’m sorry, but it is.

As for the original Sex Pistols themselves, they were punks, and punks hated blacks and whites and everything else. Sure, Sid Vicious proudly wore Swastikas, and Johnny Rotten’s autobiography was called “No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs”, but all of this was generally accepted as fuck-you shock tactics rather than anything malicious.

That said, more recently Rotten did get accused of racism due to a fist fight he had with Bloc Party’s Kele Okereke. Kele claims he approached Rotten to ask about Public Image Ltd, to which the punk legend and his entourage responded with many racist things (including “your problem is your black attitude”), and then started to beat him, leaving Kele with facial injuries. Rotten denied the accusations, stating:

“After 30 years we are achieving a true unity in our audience. They are multi varied, all ages, all races, creeds and colours. When you are at a festival with bands who are jealous fools, lies and confusion usually follow.”

He also mentioned that his grand children are Jamaican, so all the condemning offended his family, and that his life had proven to be exactly the opposite of a racist's. That’s great Johnny, but the incident was reportedly witnessed by Ricky Wilson (Kaiser Chiefs), Yannis Philippakis (Foals), and Gruff Rhys (Super Furry Animals), so...

5. Nick Cave

“And a bad-blind nigger at the piano, buts a sinister blooo lilt into that sing-a-long. Huck senses something's wrong.” - Saint Huck (as part of Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds)

There’s nothing more that needs to be said about this critically acclaimed musician songwriter author screenwriter actor legend. Which is probably why, when trying to find any information about the above lyric (featured on The Bad Seeds’ 1984 classic From Her To Eternity) or even the man’s stance on racial matters, one finds themselves hitting brick wall after brick wall.

But what we can do as mere spectators, is to evaluate the context of the phrase, and perhaps find some justification within this sinister and poetic composition. The first clues come within the story itself, which centers around this Huck character floating on a riverboat down the Mississippi river, experiencing different things and meeting assorted characters. Sound familiar? It should. As this song is based loosely on Mark Twain’s 1884 definitive classic novel Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. And if you thought the controversy surrounding any song on this list was bad, this book was on a whole new level.

Because even when considering how different times were back then, to say the word “nigger” 219 times throughout its pages has definitely had an understandable backlash in our more modern era. In fact, according to the American Library Association, Huckleberry Finn was the fifth most-frequently-challenged book in the United States during the 1990s, despite standing as a staple of reading education since its publication. As a result, many systems have opted to replace the book in the curriculum with other novels, or even with a severely censored version which was hurriedly released by the publishers in attempt to preserve this part of literacy history.

For me (and many others), this is a shame. We should not be editing parts of our past art, because we cannot edit parts of our past lives, in all of its triumphs and shames, no matter how uncomfortable they make us feel. Scholar Thomas Wortham criticised it best, stating the new editions "[don’t] challenge children to ask, 'Why would a child like Huck use such reprehensible language?’” and I agree.

Which is why, unlike most entries on this list, I totally support Cave’s use of the word in this context. He is taking the essence of what made the original story so questionable (despite the novel actually reading as an attack on racism, if anything) and leaving it intact whilst pointing at it, challenging it, as it was always meant to be. And this is probably why nobody complained about the track itself. Because they understood this too.

4. John Lennon

“Woman is the nigger of the world, yes she is. If you don't believe me, take a look at the one you're with. Woman is the slave of the slaves. Ah, yeah, better scream about it” - Woman is the Nigger of the World

After disbanding The Beatles, Mr. Lennon changed as a person quite a bit. Gone were the songs about hippie love, psychedelic characters, and drug usage; now replaced by more politically aware peace anthems and introspective almost therapeutic journeys into his psyche. This was, of course, fuelled by his new found love and partner in art, Yoko Ono, who had spent many more years before Lennon in the deep underground Avant Garde scene, as well as living as a pro-feminist activist. Which is where this particular story begins.

Released on Lennon’s 1972 album Some Time In New York City, the main phrase of this track was first coined by Ono herself in an interview with Nova magazine. The use of the word, of course, did not have anything to do with race per se, but rather out of frustration surrounding the oppression of women in our decidedly masculine society.

The comment was so striking that, not only did the magazine place it on their front cover, but John Lennon decided it would be just the type of hard-hitting message ideal for a single. And as to be expected, it did exactly that: hit hard, and often in all the wrong places. People said it was inappropriate to compare women’s rights to the oppression of African-Americans. Radio stations refused to play it. Apple Records refused to promote it. And with all these factors combined, it was destined to be Lennon’s lowest charting US single released in his lifetime (at #57). But The National Organization for Women did award him and Yoko a "Positive Image of Women" citation due to the song's "strong pro-feminist statement", so it wasn't all bad.

Lennon had no problem backing his statement up, remarking that “obviously there was a few people that really reacted strangely to it, but usually they were white and male.” He went on to say that his use of the term "nigger" was referring to any oppressed person, and that he thought the “word nigger has changed, it does not have the same meaning as it used to”. Although, some 40 years on, people might still disagree with you, John.

However, I will personally stand by this bold statement, because I think Lennon went about it in the right away. Reportedly, he asked several civil rights activists before releasing the song as to whether they understood his use of the word, and if they thought it would cause any offence. After the release, he was willing to go to great lengths to avoid any accusations of racism, appearing in African-American magazines Ebony and Jet to discuss how black stars had changed his life.

But what’s most funny to begin with, is that no one could ever seriously accuse a man like Lennon of racism (even though some still do based on this song alone). He married outside of his race; fought for world peace; was hugely inspired by black musicians; and performed with many of them during his career. There is no doubt to anyone with any knowledge about the legend, that his stance was always one of anti-racial injustice and oppression. On the other hand, gender tolerance was never one of his strong points, as he had a well documented history of being a womaniser and wife beater. But this was, of course, until Yoko came along and kicked his ass, and then he wrote songs like this.

3. Eminem

“And all the girls that I like to bone have the big butts. No they don't, 'cos I don't like that nigger shit. I'm just here to make a bigger hit” - So Many Styles

While no other genre drops the n-bombs quite like hip-hop does, it is kinda weird that when a white rapper does it, the reaction is so much worse than any other type of artist. Sure, V-Nasty did it, but who is V-Nasty, anyway? Sure, Cage has let the word slip in some freestyles, but it seemed like such a small deal that I didn’t even include him on this list. However, and it may come as some surprise to you, that the highest selling rapper of all time has also said the offending word in his lyrics before, especially when he made a point of avoiding it on his 2000 song Criminal (Marshall Mathers LP) with the rhyme “I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker than you'd wanna fuck me up for saying the word...” stopping there. Heh. Funny.

No, it was long before then - before Eminem was famous, even - when (at the age of about 15 years old) he put together some rough tracks for a demo. This not only included the offending song, but also an even more politically incorrect freestyle titled Foolish Pride, which contained the lines “Black girls only want your money 'cos they're dumb chicks, so I'ma say like this, don't date a black girl” as well as “Black girls are dumb and white girls are good chicks”. So when Eminem’s arch-enemy The Source Magazine managed to get hold of these tapes, they had a field day, attempting to character assassinate him with the ridiculous statement of “We gotta treat this the same way you treat Mike Tyson, like you treat Kobe Bryant, like you treat R. Kelly, like you treat O.J. Simpson."

Eminem was quick to admit he was wrong, but also defended the songs, stating they were directed at an African-American girlfriend he’d had at that age, who’d cheated on him. The freestyle was made “out of anger, stupidity and frustration” and he hoped “people [would] take it for the foolishness that it was, not for somebody trying to make it into today”. He also rightfully pointed out the blatant vendetta The Source has against him; that the tracks were produced by black guys; as well as the fact that he was only a young teenager when they were made. Personally, I feel these points are all valid, mainly because he works so closely with many black artists (being signed by Dr Dre; signing 50 Cent/Obie Trice; and as the only white guy in the 6 piece D12) which is enough to laugh the whole thing off. But Eminem being Eminem didn’t leave it at that, still tackling the subject in a few of his songs, including 2004’s Yellow Brick Road, with “she dumped me for this black guy, and that's the last I ever seen or heard or spoke to the ‘oh foolish pride’ girl. But I've heard people say they heard the tape and it ain't that bad, but it was. I singled out a whole race, and for that apologise. I was wrong 'cos no matter what colour a girl is, she's still a hoe” on Encore. Not to mention he has dissed The Source countless times due to the incident since then, so I think we can let this one go, if that’s ok with you guys.

2. Patti Smith

“Jimi Hendrix was a nigger. Jesus Christ and Grandma, too. Jackson Pollock was a nigger. Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger.” - Rock n Roll Nigger

Known as the “Godmother of Punk”, this Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee was famous for her rough snarling vocals spitting fearless lyrics, which said pretty much whatever she wanted about religion, politics, and yes, race. Because of this loud feminist voice in a predominantly male genre, many high-grade artist have cited her as a major inspiration to their own music, such as Michael Stipe from R.E.M, Shirley Manson from Garbage, The Smiths, Sonic Youth, and Madonna.

What could be owed, in part, to her incredible acclaim, was that the intense song in question (from her 1978 album Easter) never really resulted in the public outcry one would come to expect, especially when comparing it to so many of the other much tamer entries on this list. In fact, the song was revered rather than rejected, having been referenced during concerts by U2’s Bono, as well as covered by aforementioned Marilyn Manson on his 1995 Smells Like Children EP. But while debate as to what she meant by it all still runs fast to this day (some claiming the context of the n-word to mean “lazy”, “slave”, or most commonly, “outcast”), Smith did try to justify the use herself, by releasing the following confusing statement along with the single:

“nigger no invented for color it was MADE FOR THE PLAGUE the word (art) must be redefined-all mutants and the new babes born sans eyebrow and tonsil-outside logic-beyond mathematics poli-tricks baptism and motion sickness-any man who extends beyond the classic for is a nigger-one sans fear and despair-one who rises like rimbaud beating hard gold rythumn outta soft solid shit-tongue light is coiling serpant is steaming spinal avec ray gun hissing scanning copper head w/ white enamel eye wet and shining crown reeling thru gleem vegetation ruby dressing of thy lips puckering whispering pressing high bruised thighs silk route mark prussian vibrating gushing milk pods of de/light translating new languages new and abused rock n roll and lashing from tongue of me nigger”

Uhm, yeah, sure Patti.

But the main point stands that she not only unapologetically called Jimi Hendrix a “nigger” back there, but Jesus Christ too, which takes more balls than anyone else in this article. Which is mind-blowing, not because Smith ironically didn’t have any balls, but because nobody murdered her. Damn, girl. Respect.

1. Axl Rose (Guns N’ Roses)

“Police and Niggers, that's right, get out of my way. Don't need to buy none of your gold chains today” - One In A Million

At their peak, Guns N’ Roses were the biggest rock band in the world, having gone on to sell more than 100 million records worldwide, and being solely credited for the rock revival in the late 80’s. A lot of this is due to the partnership between Slash’s incredible guitar licks, and Axl’s high-pitched ego-mania, which gave far too much of a fuck about not giving a fuck, resulting in the coolest douchebag, ever.

After releasing the biggest selling debut album in US history (1987’s Appetite For Destruction) they rush-released G N’ R Lies the following year, and that’s where this entry begins. Despite protests from fellow band mates (particularly Slash, whose mother is black), Axl stubbornly put his foot down and forced one of his first solo compositions onto this record. It went by the name of One In A Million, and as you may have guessed, it proudly sported the n-word without any apprehension or shame. However, it did come with a little token of acknowledgement, as the liner notes contained the following: "This song is very simple and extremely generic or generalized, my apologies to those who may take offense." But people did take offence. In a big way.

The controversy that followed was not exclusively racial controversy either, as the song seemed to promote nativism and homophobia too (specifically with the line “immigrants and faggots, they make no sense to me”), but while those derogatory comments have stories of their own, it was the n-word that caused the most fuss. This is probably because Axl was being Axl, and found no reason to initially apologise, yet still had a lot to say on the subject - as per usual. He described a personal experience in which he had felt intimidated by black street merchants trying to sell him gold chains, and added many years later that "I was pissed off about some black people that were trying to rob me. I wanted to insult those particular black people. I didn't want to support racism”. Rose has also claimed that he used the slur because it was considered taboo. Like a child. My words.

As many years passed on, he has softened his stance dramatically, first stating that the word signifies "somebody that is basically a pain in your life, a problem... the word nigger doesn't necessarily mean black," referencing the previously mentioned Lennon song Woman Is the Nigger of the World as an example of where the word was used in a more "positive" context. Then he mentioned he was a fan of NWA, as if that had anything to with anything.

In more recent years, he has backed out even further, declaring "there's a lot of people who have chosen to use that song. However that song makes them feel, they think that must be what the song means. If they hate blacks, and they hear my lines and hate blacks even more, I'm sorry, but that's not how I meant it" and then adding “It's not a song I would write now."

None of this changes the fact that, to me, this is the worst example of racism on this list. The reasons are: Axl’s pathetic attempts at justifying his use of the word; Axl’s complete admission that it had everything to do with race; that Axl’s lyrics weren’t particularly poetic or clever; and that Axl took far too many years to recognise what he said was wrong. But the real icing on the cake, in my opinion, was the phrase “that’s right” said immediately after The Word. It’s almost as if to sneer “I know what I said, I said it on purpose, and you know what I meant by it.”

Hence why I have selected this man to be at the top my list. Take a bow Axl, you asshole. Your last album sucked.


5 Additional Dishonourable Mentions
"This wasted nigga happens to be a fan of Jonestown" - Cage (Crazy Man Ahead)
"Why you wanna say nigger to your brother, man? Talking black pride then you call yourself a nigger? Don't bring yourself down 'cos it just don't figure" - Clawfinger (Nigger)
"Call me white nigger. Call me Christ killer or kike. Call me nigger lover because I spit on the mic" - ILL Bill (White Nigger)
"Some folks say a nigger won't steal. I caught three in my cornfield. One has a bushel, and one has a peck, one had a rope and it was hung around his neck" - Skillet Lickers (Run, Nigger, Run [to be fair, originally a Black Folk song, sung by the slaves])
"He was more than a nigger, he was an animal too" - The Gun Club (The Devil & The Nigger)


The End
And after all that, the question still remains: is it ever really ok for a white guy to say the word "nigger"? Well, unfortunately, there is no end-all umbrella answer. But as much as I am by no means the authority on the subject, here is my 2 cents anyway:

Know Your Company. If a whitie is hanging out with a bunch of his/her white friends, and they call each other "nigger" in conversation, there is no harm done. If a white guy is tight with some black dudes, and he/she knows they are chilled about the word, once again, no harm done. But don't be a douchebag and accept the word into your everyday vocabulary. Because, while I understand there will always be people who are overly-sensitive about the n-word, there is such a thing as being unnecessarily insensitive. You could justify the use in a million ways (and, believe me, I've heard them all), but life isn't always about you. Sometimes, it's about the people in the world who are still alive and have strong memories of the oppression involved around the term. Sometimes, it's about the people who, despite the general progression in modern day tolerance, are still facing racial abuse in their daily lives. And sometimes, it's about the people who will stab you because they don't feel you have earned the right to say the word - and in all fairness, you probably haven't. Just know who you are, know who you are talking to, and then stick to the script.

Finally (and as far as lyrics go), if you are a white human and simply cannot resist using this word in a song, take notes from those above. Be general, in the hip-hop sense. Be poetic and abstract, allowing definitions to be open to interpretation. Be political, looking at the word for what it was and then perhaps softening it with quotation marks, in much the same way this article does. Insult white people just after you say the word, keeping hatred to a fair balance. Get a black guy to sing the song with you, enhancing your street cred. And, if all else fails, talk about Satan or child abuse so much that the offending word gets buried under a pile of much worse repercussions.

I hope this helps.


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