Monday, 23 April 2012

Top 50 Best Lyrics Ever (according to me)

Juice Nothing's Top 50 Lyrics Ever!
Songs are awesome, and we all like to consume them for varying reasons. Maybe you prefer a nice Mid-Tempo Easy Listening Jazz to help you sit down and chill, enjoying a glass of wine with your meal at the end of the day. Maybe you prefer some hyper Hardstep Drum ‘n' Bass to get your willy hard, aiding your bounces off the wall whilst you gurn your teeth blunt on meth. Maybe you prefer some Brutal Death Metal while you sacrifice the family cat, or some West Coast Hardcore Hip-Hop to give you that extra confidence to shoot somebody.

Me? I have no preference, I like all of those things. Music is like people in my opinion: I love you all no matter what the colour of your skin. There is a time and a place for whatever, and the time is RIGHT NOW.

That said, there is obviously an added poetic element to music that holds some lyrical content. It can make or break a song with one line, and there is a special feel about that kind of calculated risk. Needless to say, I am no less than obsessed with them. WORDS, MATE. FUCKING WORDS, I LOVE 'EM. In fact, for almost the entire duration of 2008, my Facebook status updates consisted solely of song lyrics, and with that in mind I challenged my Friends to guess which artist/song each one had come from, awarding points and taking note of who got what right when. In fact, you can still view the entire thing on my profile somewhere if you feel like looking for it.

I guess what I am getting at is this: people are PASSIONATE about their favourite band and the lyrics that mean so much to them in their lives. Point proven when I was researching for this very blog and once again used Facebook to get other opinions. I believe I got a reply a minute for around half an hour, which was a beautiful thing to see. I mean, I didn’t use any of the suggestions, but I appreciated the involvement anyway.

Which brings us to this shit, where I have spent the last few weeks collecting up what I think are the best 50 lyrics I have ever heard in my life. And even though many of these are just for personal reasons, I won’t ruin the magic by giving my own 2 cents on why each one was included. I'd suggest you just listen to the songs - the whole thing will always make more sense in context. You should also know that all quoted material was disqualified (for example the line “Just Because You're Paranoid Don't Mean They're Not After You” from Nirvana - Territorial Pissings is one of my favourite lyrics of all time, but was originally said by Henry Kissinger, therefore not included). And I have also painfully decided to only feature ONE lyric per band/artist, which for groups like Radiohead or Blood Brothers was an incredibly hard thing to do.

Alright, got it? Here they are:

“She turned my dad on”
Gorillaz - 5/4

“Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake, ‘cos everything is not yet lost”
Faith No More - Land Of Sunshine

“You talk too loud in the movies, could you please be a little bit considerate?”
Max Normal - You Talk Too Loud

“Like Fingerpainting 101, give me no credit for having class. One thumb on the pulse of the nation, one thumb in your girlfriend's ass”
Bloodhound Gang - The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope

“I know I'm headed for the bottom. But I'm riding you all the way”
Soundgarden - Mailman

“I'm not sick, but I'm not well”
Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta

“I’m deep inside your children. They'll betray you in my name”
Rage Against The Machine - Sleep Now In The Fire

“Oh an egg comes out of a chicken. Oh a chick comes out of an egg”
Mr Bungle - Egg

“It’s enough to make me cry. But that don't seem like it would make it feel better”
Jack Johnson - Traffic In The Sky

“Five year old motherfucking pantyshot, can’t complain. I didn’t even touch her, so I can’t be blamed”
Mindless Self Indulgence - Pantyshot.

“How do you preach the word if you don't know how to read?”
The Veils - Jesus for the Jugular

“I don't want to be lonely. I just want to be alone”
Silverchair - Across The Night

“I was believer when you told me that you loved me. And then you called me someone else’s name”
Aerosmith - Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)

“Music: The great communicator. Use two sticks to make it in the nature”
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can’t Stop

“If I could, maybe I'd give you my world. How can I when you won't take it from me?”
Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way

“Your halo slipping down to choke you now”
A Perfect Circle - The Noose

“And I only love you when I'm down. And I'm only near you when I'm gone. But one thing for you to keep in mind, you know that I'm down all the time”
Chris Cornell - When I’m Down

“She'd never seen the word ‘bombs’ blown up to 96 point Futura”
Vampire Weekend - Holiday

“The center of attention even when we're up against the wall”
Britney Spears - Gimme More

“We left the restaurant where the head waiter in his 60's said 'Good bye, sir. Thank you for your business, sir. You're successful and established, sir. And we like the frequency with which you dine here, sir, and your money.' And when I walked by, they said 'Thank you too dear,' I was all pigtails and cords. And there was a day when I would've said something like 'Hey dude, I could buy and sell this place, so kiss it. I too once thought I was owed something’”
Alanis Morissette - I Was Hoping

“I understand the fascination. I've even been there once or twice, or more. But if you don't change your situation, then you'll die. You'll die, don't die, don't die. Please don't die”
Placebo - Commercial For Levi

“No one’s laughing at God when they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else, and they hope that they’re mistaken. No one laughs at God when the cops knock on their door and they say ‘we got some bad news, sir.’ No one’s laughing at God when there’s a famine or fire or flood. But God can be funny at a cocktail party when listening to a good God-themed joke”
Regina Spektor - Laughing With God

“But you forget that in your fairy tale, bitch, I'm the wolf”
Dillinger Escape Plan - Black Bubblegum

“I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you 'til somebody better comes along”
Marilyn Manson - User Friendly

“A man walks down the street, it's a street in a strange world. Maybe it's the Third World. Maybe it's his first time around. He doesn't speak the language, he holds no currency. He is a foreign man. He is surrounded by the sound, the sound. Cattle in the marketplace, scatterlings and orphanages. He looks around, around, he sees angels in the architecture. Spinning in infinity, he says ‘Amen and Hallelujah!’”
Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al

“'Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore, snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?’ You goddamn right, bitch, and now it's too late. I'm triple platinum and tragedies happened in two states”
Eminem - Kill You

“You know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby. You're gonna die”
Guns N Roses - Welcome To The Jungle

“Phoney Beatlemania has bitten the dust”
The Clash - London Calling

“I saw this thing on ITV the other week. Said that if she played with her hair, she's probably keen. She's playing with her hair well regularly, so I reckon I could well be in”
The Streets - Well Be In

“I’m worth a million in prizes”
Iggy Pop - Lust For Life

“I like my sugar with coffee and cream”
Beastie Boys - Intergalactic

“To the rescue, here I am”
Bob Marley - Sun Is Shining

“Oh I could drink a case of you, Darling. Still I'd be on my feet”
Joni Mitchell - A Case Of You

“If I met you in a scissor fight, I'd cut off both your wings on principle alone”
Incubus - Megalomaniac

“The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away”
Tom Waits - Step Right Up

“I'm a mix of God and monkeys”
Danger Mouse/Sparklehorse feat. Iggy Pop - Pain

“I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened”
Dresden Dolls - Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner

“Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls pants. Use it to get into their heads”
Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill

“Fuck, this is like the coolest song I ever heard in my whole life”
Die Antwoord - Enter The Ninja

“The verse of the day is ‘Baby heads planted in the ground don't make baby trees.’ And thank you! Goodnight!”
The Blood Brothers - Live At The Apocalypse Cabaret

“I can't even touch the books you've read”
Bob Dylan - Idiot Wind

“Last night I drew a funny man with dog eyes and a hanging tongue. It goes way back”
Fever Ray - When I Grow Up

“I'll laugh until my head comes off. I'll swallow ‘till I burst”
Radiohead - Idioteque

“Got to be good looking ‘cos he's so hard to see”
The Beatles - Come Together

“I wonder what my body would sound like slamming against those rocks. And when it lands, will my eyes be closed or open?”
Bjork - Hyperballad

“He bought me a soda and he tried to molest me in the parking lot. Yep! Yep, yep, yep!”
Pixies - Bone Machine

“She said ‘I know you, and you cannot sing.’ I said ‘That's nothing, you should hear me play piano’”
The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead

“Staring at this Parisian sex flick where the characters don't meet, the characters don't speak, and the characters are like mirrors facing mirrors, space always expanding”
GlassJAw - Siberian Kiss

“I don't believe in Bible. I don't believe in tarot. I don't believe in Hitler. I don't believe in Jesus. I don't believe in Kennedy. I don't believe in Buddha. I don't believe in Mantra. I don't believe in Gita. I don't believe in Yoga. I don't believe in kings. I don't believe in Elvis. I don't believe in Zimmerman. I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me. Yoko and me”
John Lennon - God

“You're so vain, I'll bet you think this song is about you. Don't you?”
Carly Simon - You’re So Vain

I like to believe I was pretty thorough with my selection (I chose these out of roughly 400 other options), but I know the goddamn second I press “Publish” I will probably think of a million more. As is with the nature of music: it is subjective, even on a day-to-day personal basis. But if nothing else, hey, at least I wrote a blog about it, and you didn’t. ANOTHER POINT FOR JARED, YOU ARE ALL SECOND BEST.

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