The Disdance

You know when you’re walking down the street, and someone is coming towards you, right, so you kinda aim yourself to out of their direction, but they do the same thing? So now you are heading straight towards each other once again, and so you compensate by turning the other way, but this person does the exact same movement? So now you’re like doing this weird little pavement salsa where you’re both turning at a frantic rate in order to avoid crashing into each other, yet find yourself continuously getting closer and closer to colliding into one another?

I propose we start calling this “the disdance”. Because that’s a really clever play on words, not only on the stupid dancing action you accidentally find yourself partaking in, but the fact that such an event is experienced from a distance. I find it places some humour on this otherwise cringeworthy ordeal, even though I’m sure you smile and apologise politely in your oh-so British manner.

That’s all I have to say on the topic. Here’s the news:

JUICE NOTHING

There have been two fre$h articles since I last wrote one of these news bits. They were:

The 30 Greatest Music Legends Of Our Time
As essentially an upgrade on My Top 30 Rock Gawds blog I wrote 7 years ago, it felt good to finally get this one off my chest, as it revolves around a conversation I find myself having a lot lately: “who will our musical era be remembered for?” I have all the answers, of course, and so now I can just post this link without ever experiencing that fucking conversation again. I hope you read it, mainly because hardly anyone did for some reason :(

Worst to Best: Kevin Smith
I just gone and made this one! Ever since the Ghibli success, I have been consumed with the idea of Worst to Best blogs, and threw together this follow up from a potential million other candidates. I mean, I'll never claim to be the biggest Smith fan, but I do dig the guy and it was a fun simple little piece to write which didn't bleak me as much as usual. Hopefully I don't get shouted at by Reddit this time.

And with those out the way, I will be playing my regular Get Out Of Jail Free card right now, which means no article will be released during October. This grants me the well needed breathing room to prepare for the chaotic end-of-year regulars, so that should be fun. Wish me luck!

THE GOAT’S NEST

After spending the whole year researching for my next short story, I am pleased to say that work on the sequel to The Triangular Theory of Love has begun. The advantage of spending so much time planning for it, is that it’s just pouring out of me, already nearly 50% of the first rough draft done. It’s very different to anything else I’ve attempted, dangerously more “character based” to the point that I feel their personalities all up inside of me. It’s fucked up.
That said, it’s a bit premature to talk about now anyway, as this story won’t be released until well into 2015, mainly because there is a writing waiting list in place to protect me and everything must wait its turn. However, this does mean that when its time comes, it should be in really decent shape, I hope. I’m looking forward to it wholeheartedly myself.

THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS

Still battling to get anywhere with this. Nine of the 20 drawings are done, so something is happening, but as it stands, I am now looking at a February 2015 release or so. I’m sorry, but life got in the way. Naughty naughty life.

CODE NAME: FOX TAIL

Word of advice, kids. Do not collaborate with other people, because other people have personalities, and personalities come with emotions, and sometimes emotions get in the way of professionalism. I no longer see a future for this project, like so many before.

COMING DOWN HAPPY

Probably the biggest news this round comes from my musical adventures. I am beyond gay that my new EP, Fear of Telephones, was released recently, even if nobody gave a fuck. Because I am superstoked with it, as it's the only real genuine thing in Coming Down Happy’s arsenal to date, and the first step at truly letting you know that CDH will never be anything you think it will be.
On that note, I also launched a Studio Blog for the next EP I am working on, titled Sex is Disgusting (for now?). Here, I will be letting everything out, not holding any details away from you, because I’ve never done things this way before and I like to scare myself. It’s going to be pure hip hop this round, and it's already fairly far along the way...

THE FUNPOWDER PLOT

Nothing to report. I wanted to make a video for one of the aforementioned Fear of Telephones tracks, but none of them songs really scream “single”, do they? Seriously, if you’re one of the 40 people who’ve listened to it coinciding with one of the 10 people reading these words, and you have an opinion about which song would work with a video, please do tell me. I’ll pretty much make it just because you said so.


Anyways, on a more personal note, it’s been a tough month(s) for me. I’m moving house and my 30th is coming up and I'm also dealing with a bunch of other stupid shit, so I wrote this news piece with the sole intention of just finishing it, which is why it's really shit. But as a trained optimist, I have a good feeling that things are on the rise for me, I just need to convince the other people inside of my head first.

Go wash your dishes.
Jared


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