Every Mitski Album Reviewed

When it comes to music, I can enter the ring with the best of them, gloves up, let's go. I listen to around 400 new albums every year. I write annual articles on these albums and have even published a book about my 250 favourite records from the previous decade. And yet, despite this infinite cesspit of useless knowledge, I chose to write a book about Mitski. Ask yourself, why would I do something like that? Why would I possibly choose this artist over the thousands of other artists who would probably sell much better? And the answer is simple. It is because she is my favourite and I love her.

Confession time: this article is actually a Worst to Best list, but I realised that my ordering was pointless. Are you ready for a controversial statement? Mitski only gets better and better. It's her progression per each album that makes her discography so superior, and for that reason, I like everything she's done just a little bit more than the thing she did before. You may disagree, but I humbly request that you contemplate my position as I state my cases below, piece by piece, record by record. For full effect, do yourself a favour and listen to the albums as you go. They're all 30 minutes, so it's not a demanding ask (even if every Mitski-minute does more than most artists can achieve in an entire song). I suppose therein lies another reason as to why she's done so well. She's the perfect fit for today's attention-deficient consumerism world. 

Finally, if, at any point during this journey, you tumble into the pit of Mitski Obsession, do not be afraid. We know it happens suddenly, and we understand that it can be overwhelming, but there are many of us here to help you get through it. May I once again suggest buying the book I wrote so that you can learn absolutely everything there is to know about the lady? Yes? No? Whatever. Let's get to the music already.

07. Lush

Chamber Art Pop
31 January 2012
Spotify

Debut albums are tricky business. In most cases, first records are either the worst or the best piece of work musicians produce, but it's challenging to consider LUSH one or the other. As it was released while Mitski was still in music college, it's no surprise that it's an unripe version of the heroine we've come to worship. Yet, in some backwards land, Mitski has also aged in reverse, as this is one of her most mature projects, trading her later pop sensibilities for classical piano compositions beyond her years. 

Another advantage LUSH holds above her beneficiaries is a collection of songs from years and years of early songwriting, the tons of material she'd spent her life composing finally finding a home. On the one hand, this vast conglomerate gives us her least coherent album sound-wise. On the other hand, it's also her most versatile, which, in the greater Mitskiverse, is her debut's most significant boasting point.

Irrespective of these pros or cons, there's no denying LUSH is exceptionally impressive in any artistic context. I mean, "Bag of Bones" is the first song she ever wrote, which alone proves how fast she blasted through the door running. And above all else, it set our expectations for a lengthy career carrying bags of existential melancholy, romantic yearning, and identity insecurities. So much fun!

"LUSH is my very first album. I’d never produced an album before, meaning I’d never asked and organised people to do things for me in order to make ideas in my head audible. I recorded the album using the studios available in my music conservatory, with my musician friends who were passionate about good music and who cared enough to take time out of their lives to help me produce something good, not to mention meet and embrace the anal-retentive obsessive perfectionist-Mitski that I’ve learned I become in the studio. So far, the bond between people born out of making music together has been better than any great sex I’ve ever had."
– Mitski

06. Retired From Sad, New Career in Business

Chamber Art Pop
1 August 2013
Spotify

Here's the second of two Mitski college albums, and while there is a fierce online debate, I have a couple of reasons as to why I believe Mitski's sophomore rose higher than her debut. 

The first reason is the speedy time frame she had to muster up this new set of songs (one year!), which, in true Mitski fashion, encapsulated a period of her life in perfect audio form. Such a restricted cocoon naturally evolved into a far more consistent experience, and unlike LUSH, this album sounds like a project project rather than a mere assemblage of compositions. 

But the second (and perhaps more notable) reason is the pure grit of determination she presented here. Stretching far beyond her means, Mitski utilised every inch of the college assets available to her, convincing her orchestral classmates to build elaborate soundscapes behind her songs while leaping to the film team to produce a video treatment for every song. To date, Retired From Sad, New Career in Business remains her only fully visual album. 

Needless to say, these tunes are still very much Baby Mitski. Yet, through songs like "Strawberry Blonde", we could taste where she was headed. And that work ethic? It spoke volumes, demanding the world listen, proving that she was destined to crack the industry either by talent or force, whichever came first.

"I didn’t suffer any sophomoric album grief or anxiety actually, because my second album felt like such a completely different beast. My first album is more a collection of songs I’d compiled over a long period of time, while the songs on my second album were written over a more focused period of time, with the intention of putting them together into one album. My first album was also all about me learning how to arrange simple melodies and harmonies for various instruments, and about me getting used to the recording process itself. By my second album, I was secure enough in my recording processes and techniques to focus more on writing for an orchestra, as well as on actually being a producer, organising 60+ people and getting everyone on the same page, which was pretty hellish."
– Mitski

05. Bury Me at Makeout Creek

Indie Slacker Rock
11 November 2014
Spotify

Another year, another Mitski. And I do mean another Mitski, as in a whole new version of her. 

Bury Me at Makeout Creek was a creature born of necessity. Without the comforts of college studios, orchestral friends, and easy-to-access instruments, Mitski looked around at what was available, and she worked it out. Perhaps the most significant change was when she traded her trusty-but-non-portable piano keys for the strings of the guitar, a much more convenient piece of equipment. The only hiccup is that she did not actually know how to play the guitar, but no worries, she learned how to do that this year as well.

As a result, our Mitski v2.0 leaned deeper into the simplicity of punkier ideals, emerging on the other side with an aggressively noisier album. Which, interestingly enough, was exactly what the people wanted.

Makeout Creek? More like Breakout Creek. With this album, Mitski smashed out from her shell and landed face first on a much bigger map, suddenly carrying the reputation as the loud, angry, distorted guitar girl, which took her a long time to shed. Nevertheless, some of her earliest classics are found here, for example, "Townie" but even more so, "First Love / Late Spring", which is permanently stuck in my head. In fact, this record was such a level-up that if you press your ear to the darkest corners of the web, you may find the most hipster of Mitski fans swearing this as her best work. 

I don't know about that, but what Bury Me holds above every other one of her albums is the stench of desperation from a musician who was running on sheer tenacity, willing herself to succeed even if it meant switching instruments, adapting sounds, and recording in people's kitchens (she did that). She must've been relieved when this giant leap did the trick, but even if it hadn't, I'm willing to bet she'd still be going for it today. That seems undeniable. Music lives inside her bloodstream.

"I had just graduated from music conservatory and I was living in Brooklyn slash Queens slash wherever I could. I had no money, no resources, and I just had a few friends in bands who had guitars and drums and stuff. So I made that album in makeshift studios and people's houses, anywhere I could. And that was the spirit of the album. Where instead of going out and trying to find ways to realise my vision, I just kind of looked around at what I had and said, ‘what can I do with what I have?’"
– Mitski

04. Puberty 2

Indie Rock
17 June 2016
Spotify

At this point in our story, Mitski's name had tapped shoulders across the world, and people had turned to listen. The labels were quick to follow with Dead Oceans gobbling up her signature and shoving them into a legitimate studio. And by them, I mean two people: Mitski, and the unsung champion of our story, Patrick Hyland. He has produced every single one of her records except for LUSH. Take a pause to acknowledge that if you love Mitski, then you equally love Hyland because so much of what we hear is due to his magic.

But Mitski was still the name brand, and with so much additional attention riding upon her, the question was clear: could she match the instant-stick success of Bury Me? You already know the answer. If her last album was the icepick that broke her to the masses, Puberty 2 was the space rocket that blasted her through the stratosphere. By building upon her raw indie sound and her deeply personal lyrics about isolation, this record fully developed Mitski into the artist we recognise today. So much so that Puberty 2 remains the beacon of her skillset for many listeners, frequently cited as her peak work by fans and critical publications alike.

Ok, so are you ready for some blasphemy? I consider it her most overrated album. Don't shoot me! It's not that I don't love it. Believe me, I LOOOOVE IT. But for the oodles of accolades piled upon its head, it has some songs that stand taller than others, and it isn't as flawless as some may claim. Instead, it is my opinion that this was the album where Mitski had finally finished warming up, and from here, we have nothing but hot perfection.

"By my fourth album, I felt like I knew how to record an album. For my first and second ones, at least I was still a student in college, in music conservatory. A lot of that recording process was just about learning how to even record an album, learning how to direct people, learning how to give good performances in-studio which is very different from live and different from playing privately. So by the fourth one I think I got the hang of it and I could actually focus on the music, which I guess doesn't make much sense because the whole point of recording an album is to make the music. I think for my first three albums, a lot of the recording wasn't... I shouldn't say wasn't about the music... but I was really caught up in just doing the thing and I wasn't thinking about the thing itself as much."
– Mitski

03. Be the Cowboy

Indie Art Pop Rock
17 August 2018
Spotify

When it comes to debates or fistfights about Mitski’s greatest record, Be the Cowboy is a favoured competitor and, in so many ways, the one I can most easily justify.

Whatever our protagonist was doing before this album was one thing, but here, everything was dialled up a notch, then intentionally shoved sideways from expectations, throwing away her signature distorted guitars to prioritise artier smarts and conceptual personas. Even better: Be the Cowboy is without blemish, every song standing strong, nobody letting the team down.

It’s no surprise, then, that Be the Cowboy is accepted as her most critically acclaimed offering, called the Absolute Best Album of 2018 by Vulture, Consequence of Sound, Flood Magazine, The Line of Best Fit, and Pitchfork. Even now, with so much time passing, it remains the most iconic Mitski Mitski record on the market as the ideal representation of her overall career. Just the cover alone is the one most people see when they close their eyes.

Nevertheless, you can take the Mitski out of the Mitski, but you can’t actually take the Mitski out of the Mitski or something. The positive affirmation mantra of the Be the Cowboy title and the defensive layers of humour did little to disguise that same vulnerable human beneath. Her thoughts remained complicated, and her heart remained broken, and things were only getting worse under the immense strains of fame. Eventually, she could no longer rise against the turmoil, and by the end of the Cowboy tour, Mitski broke and very publicly quit music. Spoiler alert: she came back! But, whew, that was close! Let’s never do that again!

"I think I was the most pathetic out of all the different albums I’ve made. I was the most anxious, the most unsure. It’s not any one moment. It's a lot of moments of me whining and yelling at Patrick, like, ‘I don’t know, I don’t know,’ just repeating the words ‘I don’t know’ at him and poor Patrick just being like ‘weeeeell, let’s figure it out.’ All my past albums, I had just written what I felt, I was never fully conscious or never fully recognised the fact that there would be people listening to my music after I put it out. This album was the first one where I fully comprehended that I will have people listen to and judge the album when it comes out. That completely changed my process because it kind of filled me with doubt, I guess. I could no longer just completely turn to instinct because I was anticipating all of the interview questions I would get. So I think a lot more second guessing and thinking deeply and being more objective with the theme of this album. But yeah, it was just a lot of yelling at poor Patrick. He was just like ‘I’m trying to make your album!’ and I was like ‘I don’t know, can you just decide for me?’ and he was, like, ‘No, I can’t just decide for you, you have to make this!'"
– Mitski

02. Laurel Hell

New Wave Art Synthpop
4 February 2022
Spotify

Let the big argument between myself and everyone else commence!

So there goes Mitski, boogying out of her retirement to a new 80s sound so flashy that it caught many off guard. Within the bewilderment, the Mitski landscape almost unanimously agreed that Laurel Hell was too much too soon, a step down from where we were, or even the worst record she'd ever made. Well, I hear you. I appreciate you. But take a seat as I explain why you are so fucking wrong that it infuriates me.

By all accounts, this is Mitski's "COVID" record, written during the lockdowns and released when the pandemic was still a fresh trauma. For this reason, she felt the world would not benefit from more of her sad introspections, so instead, she spun everything inside of a disco ball, permitting us to deal with our troubles on the dancefloor. Of course, the record was essentially the audio representation of forcing a smile moments before you explode into tears, but that's what makes it so special. It's about what it's hiding. It's about what it doesn't do even when it wants to. To push your artistry away from natural instincts for the sake of general mood takes real guts, and that is what so many listeners are missing.

Granted, some of the complaints were valid. Is every song as good as the next? No. But what it lacks in consistency, it makes up for with the best songs she's ever written, and there are a lot of them, too. Without reservation, I'd place the majority of my favourite Mitski songs on this record, and as a result, I revisit Laurel Hell more than any other. When it's good, it's her greatest album. And it's pretty much all good, baby!

"We were in lockdown, and I was, like, ‘I cannot handle sad music production! I am going crazy, and I need something that I can overtly dance to! That is overtly more upbeat than what I usually do, because I can’t write my usual sad songs and put melancholic accompaniment to it because then it would just be too much. I just needed something lighter for the pandemic!’"
– Mitski

01. The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We

Indie Folk
15 September 2023
Spotify

We've come such a long way, Mitski fans, which is why it may appear improbable when I say this: The Land Is Inhospitable and So Are We is Mitski's absolute best work.

Her evolution so naturally leads us to this point. Softer. Slower. Darker. Yet, with the unmistakable emotional intelligence that one can only nurture with the maturity of age. It's as if Mitski is now taking her time with her self-reflections, analysing them without rash decisions and finally finding a resting place within her usual national alienation struggles. And what better genre to make peace with your country than country itself? That's right, an unmistakable Americana twang leapt to the forefront of Mitski's luxuriant atmosphere, and everyone realised it was always kinda there anyway.

No longer would she disguise her melancholy beneath her signature arty pops. Instead, her lyrics rose up stronger than ever before, both in the quality of poetics and their messages of endurance. Which is why, for those of us who were listening, The Land landed into the most profound depths of our guts, and many of us agreed that this was Mitski at yet another level. This may sound like a biased statement on my part, but it's far from an uncommon conclusion. According to the review aggregator website Metacritic, this is her highest-rated album, with an insanely high 90% score. What's more, "My Love Mine All Mine" grew to be her biggest song ever, with many new people discovering Mitski through that gateway single, then plummeting into the ether of her back catalogue, never to return. 

Simply put, The Land squeezed the last drop of love from me like a lemon, leaving me on the floor with nothing except an urge to listen to it again, all day on repeat, which I have done. For the entire career of Mitski, I've never been able to pick her most outstanding album. But I now can, and here it is. This is the one. And when an artist's best record is their most recent and their seventh, you know you're in this thing forever.

"When someone says, ‘I love this about you,' I make a mental note: I'm never gonna do that again. Maybe that's a psychological problem I have to deal with."
– Mitski

Conclusion

When I tell my friends I wrote a book about Mitski, they all say the same thing: "Who is Mitski?"

It's probably no big shocker that sales for Stay Soft, Get Eaten: The Complete Biography of Mitski have been achingly slow. Still, if I know one thing about Mitski fans, it's that they are more deliriously frenzied than any other collective I've come across. If you've attended one of her shows, you'll grasp what I am saying. It's closer to a cult howling at the moon than a concert experience. For this reason, I remain hopeful that this book will eventually reach the right hands.

Nevertheless, if my job in the Mitskisphere is to merely plant her into a field of new ears, so be it; it's an honour regardless. In case this wasn't clear, I adore Mitski, so my main objective is to do what I think would make her happy. And, no matter what happens, I still win because spending these months upon months researching her words and repetitively listening to her albums over and over was nothing but a treat. I'd happily do it again.

Because, like music to Mitski, writing is my life. I live for the craft. So if I starve to death on the streets, what a privilege that I died doing what I love most. Everyone should be so fortunate, and I am grateful for whatever fate has in store.

"Everything I say is with the caveat that I’m a one-in-a-million luckiest person in the literal world."
– Mitski

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Worst to Best: Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple may have shipped millions of albums and won the most prestigious awards in the music industry, yet she has somehow remained criminally underrated (see what I did there?). One could propose numerous theories as to why such an atrocity has occurred. My best guess is that her artistic perfectionism combined with her reclusive laziness means that she feels no compulsion to work just for the sake of working. Consequently, she has quietly slipped out of mainstream awareness, and people have so quickly forgotten that Fiona sketched the blueprint for the Amy Winehouses and Lana Del Reys and Billie Eilishes that soon followed.

For those who don't know, there was a brief period in the 90s when Fiona was up there with the most famous singers in the world. Her sleepy doe-eyes sold magazine covers that insulted her inside their pages. Her public rejection of the superficial popstar scene slammed more business doors than they opened. By every account, it was a stressful time for poor Fiona, and she learned very early on that the heat from the spotlight was not for her. So she retracted her head into her shell, and the years fell away. The general population moved on to younger stars while her true fanatics chewed their fingernails impatiently. Truthfully, the life of a Fiona groupie is a tortuous affair.

That said, there is a monumental advantage to such creative restraint. Fiona Apple is one of the handful of musicians who can genuinely boast that they've built the perfect discography beneath them. Over the last 28 years, Apple has only blessed us with five albums, and while we are starving, we cannot deny that each has been cripsy fresh and delicious. Moreover, her offerings have never withered as trends expired due to Fiona's raw honesty, which reflects the authentic human within. She harnesses an unmatched ability to evolve her craft away from the mundane chart toppers by refusing to repeat her sound, only nurturing her themes as she matures with them. And you know what that equates to? Not a bad song on record. Not a single one.

I have spent the previous seven months listening to Fiona Apple non-stop. As a music writer, it is a tricky part of the job which, more often than not, overexposes what I once loved until I hate it. However, what I can say about Apple is something I cannot say about any other example: I never felt weary when revisiting her catalogue. On the contrary, I'd happily do it again right now. I don't care who's around. I'll tear the plug from whatever album you're playing and shove apples down your throat until you love them. Ask my friends if you think I'm joking.

Still, even on a landscape void of blemishes, everyone has their favourite views, right? And that's what this article is about. It's about me! Me and Fiona Apple! My ordered list of her records from worst to best! Opinions are like assholes! Here is mine, asshole:

05. Tidal

Piano Rock
23 July 1996
Spotify

Multiple elements within Fiona's debut make it her most impressive project on tap, with jounalists specifically obsessed with how young she was when it was released. Nineteen! What were you doing when you were nineteen? Not making hit records, I presume. Yet, somehow, an ancient soul escaped her throat, dripping relationship wisdom from such profound experience that even I, as an old man, have never felt what she claims to have felt.

So when you fuse this advanced romantic knowledge with Apple's undeniable attractiveness desaturated in miserably sultry videos, BAM! You have just created the perfect allure of Tidal, shipping more copies than anything else she's done since. Indeed, when the majority of casual fans contemplate her craft, these songs are their go-to choices ("Criminal", anyone?).

Except these components work against Fiona's favour. Sure, everyone loves a youthfully depressed superstar. But while her maturity extended beyond her years, her personality was still under development, and the quirk with which big fans have grown to adore is noticeably absent in this album. Furthermore, the powerful singles were almost too strong, meaning the journey features high peaks and lower valleys while taking too long to get from one to the other. And, finally, Andrew Slater's production? It's weak. That's right, I said it. I'm glad he was never granted the drver's seat again.

Nevertheless, what's important to note about Tidal is that it was a complete package straight out the door, setting the foundations for a lengthy career ahead. And if this is my least favourite in her collection, then my god! How talented is she??

"When I did Tidal, it was more for the sake of proving myself. Telling people from my past something. And to also try to get friends for the future."
– Fiona Apple

04. Extraordinary Machine

Alternative Piano Art Pop Rock
4 October 2005
Spotify

Undoubtedly, Extraordinary Machine is Fiona's most underrated record, primarily due to the confusing timeline tangling before its release. Without going into the endless backstory of what happened (read the book for that tale), just know there are two distinct versions of this album out there. 

The first was the leaked project, produced by Jon Brion. With wacky instrumentation and layers of details, no one could deny it was one helluva exciting listen. But according to everyone who mattered, Brion's flashy artistry dominated the show despite Fiona's name on the cover. That is why these songs are unofficial: Fiona was unsatisfied. And I appreciate her stance because, simply, it was not hers. 

Far closer to the Fiona we love was the eventual authorised release, produced by Mike Elizondo. Here, the over-clutter of Brion's intricacies were stripped away, creating space around the rightful centrepiece of Fiona's vocals. Unfortunately, the problem arose where nobody could agree on which version was better, with many arguments between parties throwing their tastes all over the place. But what do I think? Me me me! Well... I think... some songs are better on the leaked one and some are better on the official one. BUT! As a whole, I prefer Fiona's choices the most. 

None of this matters! The debate has gone on long enough! Can't you guys see? Don't you get it? Extraordinary Machine is an Extraordinary Record where Fiona's genius songwriting and silly sense of humour reached heights higher than any that came before. And, you know what else? We have TWO VERSIONS of that! TWO! We should be celebrating! Tonight! At my place!

"It's called Extraordinary Machine because that was kind of like my hopeful pet name for myself. Give me anything, be mean to me, do whatever, anything life, do whatever. And it'll go through me, and it'll come out something nice."
– Fiona Apple

03. When the Pawn

Alternative Piano Rock
9 November 1999
Spotify

If Extraordinary Machine is Fiona's most underrated affair, then her sophomore, When the Pawn, must surely be her most overlooked. The reason for such a TRAVESTY was the lack of gigantic singles like those found on Tidal; hence, the record whooshed over the heads of casual Fiona fans and lazy MTV viewers alike. 

But those of us who managed to snatch the airways discovered a secret treasure sitting in our palms: a collection of songs that not only bounded Apple's craft forward but also shone brightly from an exciting production gleam missing from before. Hello, John Brion! What sharp ears you've got there! What a genius musical understanding, too! All the better!

Rest assured that whatever you may have thought about Tidal, When the Pawn was all those things, except evolved away from her gloomy reputation into something far more confident, playful, and consistent. Without any doubt, this was the first album where Fiona Apple sounded like fucking FIONA APPLE because that's precisely what it was. Fucking FIONA APPLE, mate!

"I told people for a while that I wasn't sure I was even gonna have a second album. I was real afraid that I wasn't gonna be able to write like on the road because I have weird rituals and everything. I can't write if anyone else is within an 80-mile surrounding. But I've been writing a lot. It's all in my head, though, because I can't play piano on the road. So I'm really frustrated because I just want to be able to, like, make it actually a tangible thing. To be able to like to hear it and play it and stuff and it's all here now. So it's kind of driving me crazy."
– Fiona Apple

02. Fetch the Bolt Cutters

Progressive Art Pop
17 April 2020
Spotify

If you're ever lacking faith in the connection between music critics and the greater musical climate, Fiona's fifth (and most recent) album, Fetch the Bolt Cutters, may stand as the industry's most promising saviour. Everyone from Consequence of Sound to Entertainment Weekly, from The Guardian to The New York Times, anointed it as The Best Record of 2020, no questions asked. Meanwhile, Pitchfork went even further, granting it full marks—the first time they had done so since 2010, and remaining the last such score to this day.

However, what makes this achievement so unbelievably remarkable is that Bolt Cutters is Fiona at her peak experimentation and, therefore, most challenging to digest. It's a potholed ride with rough mistakes and an even rougher production value because she did it all herself, working from home. Yet ask anyone, and they'll tell you that the sloppiness is part of its charm. Her strange percussion-heavy time signatures and passionate hooks had no care for perfection, which is profoundly the point! Life isn't perfect, buddy! And once you accept that, everything becomes perfect within those very imperfections. You can learn a lot from this record, actually.

"I haven't looked at stuff, but I know it was received well. Knowing that, and knowing how many fuck ups there are, and how imperfect everything is on it—I feel like I'm in a good relationship with the world. I feel like I showed up for a date with no makeup on, like I banged my head and I lost my tooth, and I showed up bloody and wearing half a T-shirt and one sock, and my date went, 'Hey, I like you, come on let's go. That's OK with me.' Which is a great feeling."
– Fiona Apple

01. The Idler Wheel

Art Pop
19 June 2012
Spotify

The "Greatest Fiona Album" camps are usually split between two records, either her commercially pleasing debut or her weird-ass finale. But for me, The Idler Wheel is wiser than them all and will serve you more than the others will ever do.

Why? It's not one thing. It's every single minute discernible detail that combines to present a well-developed platter of sneakier poetic winks sitting comfortably upon the artiest of cabaret style. Every time I listen to this masterpiece, I erupt in goosebumps that weigh me to the floor, convinced that each song after song after song is the best song I've heard in my life. 

In my not-so-humble opinion, The Idler Wheel is where Fiona Apple not only gained full power but somehow transcended the concept of power itself, which is why nobody has come close to replicating it and probably never will unless it's Fiona herself. For this reason, and a million other reasons, this is the crown that rises to the top of my apple tree, and I don't care what anyone else says about that. Good day.

"This one I love, even though there's a lot of pain that I went through during the making of it. I feel very sure of myself. Not that I'm so great, but that I'm right. Nobody can tell me that my song isn't done."
– Fiona Apple

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David Icke and Me: An Expanded Review of The Biggest Secret

PLEASE NOTE: The following text is an expanded book review boasting bonus paragraphs about my recent journey through this conspiracy world along with my views on these general theories from a broader scope. It's a more complete work and justifies its length, but it is still rather long. If you do not feel you have the stomach, feel free to take a load off and read the abridged version on Goodreads instead. It's missing the juicy bits but gets the job done all the same.

The chewy centre of this story breaks through like every classic apocalyptic tale: in New York City. It was March 2020, and despite a month of encouraging words from the QAnon messiah Donald Trump, the COVID virus went ahead and snapped a sharp and aggressive bite out of the Big Apple. The streets were wiped clean of their usual human bustle as the lifeblood of the city retreated into hiding. And there was little me, Jared Woods, kicked to the streets from a hostel that shut down and just managing to find an apartment in the Bronx, isolating and alone on the other side of the world from home. I'll admit, I was terrified, but I held a brave face on social media. I told my mom I was okay. And I focused on the one light of optimism I had: a Chicago flight to London, leaving in a month. Surely this silly outbreak would blow away by then? It was airborne after all.

During this bout of secretive writhing, I received a voice message from an equally tortured close friend. The world was unsettled, but this guy (as an incurable conspiracy theorist) seemed to be performing mental backflips more frantic than most (as terminal conspiracy theorists tend to do). Aware of my education on religion, his fearful questions babbled about the biblical "mark of the beast", stressing that this "outbreak" was a ploy to plant microchips into us via vaccines. This rant was the first time I'd considered such a possibility, but I offered him the same advice then that I would now. There are no vaccines yet, and there are no mandatory vaccine laws in the UK. You're living in terror of a future that doesn't necessarily exist. Once they find the vaccine and force it upon us, then we can chat about implants. My words seemed to calm his buzzing teeth, but based on his recent Facebook posts, nothing I said made any long term difference.

The cancellation of my flight from Chicago shortly followed this exchange, and I felt like I'd swallowed a brick. I panic purchased another flight which accidentally turned out to be many weeks in advance, oops. I bit my lip and bought another one, losing a lot of money as I rushed onto a plane from New York to London within days.

Have you ever taken a packed flight during peak-pandemic from the capital of the outbreak? It's an intense experience. I sat stiffly in my seat for seven hours, and I was too scared to breathe. Everyone was a suspect, and I sank away from the aisle whenever a crew member passed. It's easy to become self-centred when a disease smothers a planet—everyone has their corona nightmare stories. But even considering the greater scheme of people's issues, my POV was challenging. I was so nervous I wanted to cry.

We landed in London. I scanned my passport. I walked through the security and customs without exchanging glances with another human being. No one took my temperature; no one asked me how I was feeling; nobody cared that a fully-booked plane from the most plagued city on the Earth had just skipped through their borders. Such negligence shook my solar plexus, and when I finally reached a safe place to commence my UK isolation, I was exhausted and traumatised. Looking for comfort, I texted another very close but different friend, detailing my ordeal, and his response was arguably the most infuriating message I've received in my entire life.

"You'd understand why this happened if you knew the teachings of David Icke".

I can't recall if there was winky emoji in there but every word stank of it. The arrogance oozed down from a podium of "higher knowledge"; a position where Icke and his followers comprehended everything that was happening as they scoffed down at the sheep snagged in a system of lizard design. Admittedly, the anxiety of my trip had beaten the patience out of my nerves, and I lost it. I was well-versed in the crux of Icke's theories, and I considered them to be the pinnacle of absurdity. I was happy to humour the notion at the worst of times, but not here, not now. My turmoil was not Icke's narrative, and to shove some unprovable waffle down my throat after what I had just endured felt like an absolute betrayal of compassion. I took it personally.

The proceeding argument was extensive, and I went to bed in pain that night. When I woke, there was one persistent thought that this person had spat into my face. How did I know Icke was full of shit? I could only recite the headlines and Wikipedia summaries. Is that enough to turn my back on the author? The undeniable truth is that Icke has managed to convince millions of oft-intelligent minds to digest his theory. There must be something to it! Perhaps my previous reactions had been harsh and unfair. I decided to give my two friends the benefit of the doubt and explore this world for myself. That same day, I ordered David Icke's most famous book The Biggest Secret, which arrived surprisingly quickly, and I eventually read it despite the 500+ pages of attention it demanded. And here we are.

For those of you who don't know what Icke's theory is, I'll summarise it for you. For thousands of years, a reptilian alien race has been meddling with our society. They've developed a Satanic Brotherhood organisation where they love nothing more than to rape and eat our children. If that isn't terrifying enough, these aliens dwell inside of the Earth (which is hollow) and operate from a 5th dimension, navigating the minds of literally everyone of any importance. These aliens often live among us through certain bloodlines (which are always caucasian and often Jewish; hence the frequent founded accusations of Icke's racism) such as the Rockefellers, the Rothschilds, and the royals. They're all lizards!

From this position of power, our alien overlords have manipulated every corner of the world throughout history. You name it; it was them. Their command rules almost all world leaders, the media, the banks, the stock market, the scientific community, every religion, every war, every major event, and, of course, COVID-19. Everyone with power is some way involved (some more surprising than others, including exciting names such as Nelson Mandela, Madonna, Leonardo da Vinci, Adolf Hitler, and Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein). What's more, any newsworthy incident you've ever read about was related to their mission to control the masses (including every high profile assassination—and every death is assassination, don't know?). This command is achieved by creating problems then offering solutions which cost civilians a slice of their freedom. Thankfully for us, the reptilians have never got it right, and despite what Icke will tell you, this is a story of failed global domination which we can follow by using the ample symbolic clues they've left for us along the way. David knows how to get there, let's go!

It's fair to mention that David's theories have developed further since the 1999 publication of this book. Highlights include when he had an epiphany that the moon is an artificial creation which emits frequencies to trap our five senses deeper within this dimension of fear. He has also become a leading voice in the 5G and COVID conspiracies which I believe most people are aware of at this point.

If you think this sounds like the far-fetched ramblings of a mad man, you wouldn't be alone. However, you may be surprised that the majority of these beliefs are not the author's original work. Icke is a professional cherrypicker. He has harvested assorted bits from a vast array of rich counter-theories that were developed by other minds for decades, now rewritten through his voice (whilst regularly citing the sources, which is respectable). The only unique perspective of Icke's teachings is the connection between these ideas, selling them as one giant narrative; a conglomerate of well-known conspiracy theories ground together to create one epic singular timeline.

What's more, he hasn't done the best job of it. I'm no scholar, but I could quickly pinpoint where the already-established research met his views as he stretched the materials like a thin gum to combine whatever serves his story. But Icke knew that the soft putty between didn't have to make much sense. The more substantial wads had decades of previously written books to support them, holding convincing backstories which helped his research to appear foolproof because so many overlook how flimsy the overall picture holds up as a unit.

Now, I pride myself in my refusal to swallow or reject anything, and I don't necessarily write-off Icke's theory. But if someone is going to state claims of this magnitude, they better have some substantial evidence to back it up. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Icke does not. I was disappointed as I was hoping to at least come away with some extraordinarily eerie questions, but this did not happen. Instead, a nervewracking concern grew within me for those friends who have accepted these fragile messages. Make no mistake, Icke's statements are tremendously epic; they simultaneously blew my mind and made me sick to my stomach. But within 10 minutes of independent research, they effortlessly disintegrated into a dust of debunked funk. I am not exaggerating when I say 90% of this book leads to empty space. The lizard fundamentals, in particular, were so rickety that they broke my heart. C'mon, I was anticipating something meaty there! That's his claim to fame! But I can explain all of it (bar one Mesopotamian figurine carving, granted).

Furthermore, his information on religion was incorrect at every turn. I carry a keen interest in this topic which makes me Icke's greatest enemy because he has no shame in presenting information that lacks backing from any acceptable study. Such disregard to decades of research prompts me to believe that, say, an economist or a historian would have issues with their relevant sections too. Needless to say, my eroded trust quickly unravelled David Icke's wicked methods of persuasion after very few pages.

Thus my compulsion to write this piece. Icke is a liar, and I have all the evidence in writing. He's a conman who is intentionally manipulating the masses and, over the next series of paragraphs, I shall expose how he's managed to do so. Because if I can help one person to get out of the web that Icke has spun around them, then the half-year it took to read and write this will be warranted.

Icke is a heavy enthusiast of the Gish gallop technique. He blasts such an overwhelming amount of statements per page that the quantity of information becomes dizzying, and this type of onslaught is crucial to his strategy. It means that any given line will require lengthy research to question and is then quickly followed by another one, and another one, preventing the reader from fact-checking everything the man claims. I gave it my best shot. I got up to page 228 of debunking until I realised mere slivers of it had any reputable basis. After that, I resigned to sit back and go with the ride, which David always knew I would.

I did manage to put together a rough but in-depth analysis of the first 92 pages which you can read here. If at any point you require examples of what this review accuses, you will find them there. It's an enjoyable skim regardless, especially as you watch my patience progressively disintegrate into surrender.

An awareness of this bombardment of unchallenged information immediately uncovers the risks of reading this book. Icke freely rambles about how everything that has ever happened is part of this reptilian story, and he does so with confidence because he knows nobody will have the hours or energy to pick everything apart. I consider this to be a form of brainwashing, a technique Icke has studied and utilised for his gain, which I shall detail shortly.

For now, imagine a softer mind racing with Icke's hyperspeed blabberings. A 500-page journey void of researchable facts, but with an abundant supply of sensationalist endorphins. The impressionable mouths are hooked! They open eagerly at his fingertips where he can feed them any varying degrees of mistruths. And he does so with an impressive variety.

One subtle move Icke executes is a type of inside-knowledge effect. He will claim the alien theory is responsible for a specific historical event (the stones of Baalbek or Rh blood types are the first to come to mind), but the powers above have buried the information away from the textbooks. Scandal! However, within minutes I could find numerous sources offering an alien theory in their reports. The only difference is that dedicated authorities also provide the alternative views available, of which there were always plenty. It's frustrating because you know Icke is familiar with these other hypotheses but has intentionally omitted them to ensure his case is airtight. If he'd included other explanations, he would have built trust. Instead, the man commits exclusively to the reptilians and is immoveable on that stance. It's selective research, separating the bits that suit his campaign then stretching everything else whichever way he desires. In this regard, The Biggest Secret is the most biased text I've ever read, which is a trivial complaint in comparison to what is coming.

Less subtle yet more sneaky is his swift manner of twisting hypotheticals into "factual" cornerstone. He will casually introduce speculation from another source, fully citing the original author (sometimes as simple as "somebody told me") then referring to it as just that: a theory. That's a practice I can support and appreciate. However, several pages later, he would suddenly refer to this previous theory as fact and use it to build onto his next point, the entire timeline now dependent on an unfounded hypothesis made only moments ago. It's unforgivably misleading because most people won't pick up on it.

And then there are those times he straight-up lies. He yanks data from thin air, and if you can catch it, you will uncover a profound danger in his work. Icke boasts such a dedicated following that his mistruths often harden into self-fulfilling resources. Your research may find articles reporting similar data until you note these same articles are citing Icke himself! The best example of this is when Icke uses a Hindu god named Virishna to discredit Jesus by connecting identical details between their stories. The internet holds many texts supporting the comparison, but they vanish before the publication date of this book. Why? Because Icke made him up! There is no Hindu god named Virishna! Icke invented a deity just to fool his readers! Everything that follows a betrayal like this is weighed heavy by dishonesty. And, what's worse, he knows what he's doing. For all his faults, David Icke is an impressive researcher. No one can deny that. But this does mean his misleading techniques are entirely intentional because he can lie to us but not himself... right?

"[I had] the overwhelming feeling out of 'nowhere' that the moon was not 'real'. By 'real' I mean not a 'heavenly body', but an artificial construct (or hollowed-out planetoid) that has been put there to control life on Earth — which it does. I have pondered this possibility a few times over the years, but this time I just 'knew'. It was like an enormous penny had suddenly dropped." - David Icke; Human Race Get Off Your Knees (2010)

Or maybe not.

Regardless, are you ready for his more advanced tricks?

One of Icke's fanciest manoeuvres is to claim ownership of every side of an idea even if they directly contradict one another. It's nervewracking that he gets away with it, but he does. I initially noted this during his infamous COVID-19 interview with London Real where David simultaneously used China's early lockdown release and UK's extended lockdown as evidence of societal control. I clicked that no matter what a government did, release or lockdown, he could apply it to his "insight". It's genius, really. And this publication is rife with so many of these multiple bookings examples that I was in hysterics.

Allow me to illustrate. The following paragraph is a list of items that Icke slowly drips through as indications of the Brotherhood. Please note how he manages to include just about everything. Anywhere in history where you see these symbols or words, know that the lizards were there:

Those that come from above; the sky in general; those that come from below; the Earth in general; those that come from water; water in general; those that come from light/energy/another dimension; any demon/deity who loves us; any demon/deity who hates us; the Devil; gods who walked among us; the Sun; the moon; space; stars; Mars; Jupiter; any planet really; the penis and all male energy; the vagina and all female energy; snakes; dinosaurs; dragons; serpents; any reptile really; birds; any creature with wings really; any creature with feathers really; fish; any creature with scales really; lions; lambs; trees; mountains; roses; lilies; goats; pyramids; blood; vampires; gargoyles; giants; placing a hand over your heart; the devil-horns gesture; eyes; skulls; bones; chess boards; squares in general; circles; hexagrams; pentagrams; swastikas; crosses; the colour blue; the colour red; the colour green; the colour white; and the colour black.

Each of the above examples are explicitly stated in the book, and yet this listing is by no means complete. I just stopped taking notes at a point for my sanity.

If you're grasping the bigger picture, you can see where David Icke has excelled, and that is in building an impenetrable fantasy protected from every side. In this vein, another extraordinary trick is how he's managed to convince his readers to discredit all research-based studies and media reports. The Brotherhood controls this information, remember? You must not believe anything you read except what David Icke writes even if he has no resources to support his hypothesis. And tah-dah, he is now invincible; impervious to attacks of facts or logic. You could dedicate your whole life to studying a topic, David Icke could say it was work of the Brotherhood, and his followers would immediately reject you. It's an unimaginable feat that worked for reasons that are beyond my comprehension.

Because the strangest ingredient to this story is that David was a football player. He was not a physicist, nor a historian, nor a holy leader. And yet so-called "intelligent" and "spiritual" people trust him above every scientist and doctrine on the planet, independent or otherwise. A large portion of his teachings dismisses religion as fabricated material to control us. Yet David has proclaimed himself to be the "Son of the Godhead", claiming that some higher knowledge has blessed his mind. Do not let anyone fool you; this movement has all the components of a cult. People follow Icke like a prophet and feverously defend him based on faith, trusting his texts more than any other medium of information. They laugh at the unrealistic story of Jesus, oblivious to the irony that they've just accepted a story about lizard aliens directing the world. How his readers can be so blind to this is what I struggle with the most.

David ends his sermon with the audacity of some faux hope by regurgitating a confused pseudo-spiritual variation of a Pantheistic Law of Attraction notion. He states that we must not live in fear because what we think about will manifest in our reality, ignoring that he just spent hundreds upon hundreds of pages flooding fear into the Universe about shapeshifting lizards who rape preteen children. What a severe lack of understanding this man has. How could one possibly encourage awareness of such an absurd unprovable concept while also acknowledging that this will invite further pain into your experience? I'm not sure about you, but every Icke-follower I've met are not vibrating on any positive level of harmony. They are anxious, angry, patronising, defensive, and distrustful. David then claims that the end-all solution is love, which is rich coming from a man who openly insults everyone who doesn't believe the Queen is a reptile to have "half a brain cell". If you gaze towards David Icke as some beacon of spiritual success, then we have contradictory opinions on what it means to be in sync with the Universe. That man harbours so much resistance in his chi that it's visible.

The final (and most important) trick I will be cracking open is David's moving of goalposts. None of Icke's predictions has ever come true. On the contrary, many of his statements have unequivocally not come true. My favourite example is the New World Order which is gradually taking place through unions between countries led by the Brotherhood. According to Icke, their headquarters are based in London. Then what's up with Brexit? That's the opposite of what he prophesied. So how does he get away with these perpetual inaccuracies? Easy. He swings the outcome into his narrative. Whatever takes place will never be what he's foretold, but he will have an explanation for it, followed by further predictions which will not come true. Please understand this more than anything I say: no matter what the event, Icke will spin it into his story despite the complete lack of forecasts to back it up. Such deceit has occurred for decades after this book. It will happen again with corona, and it will happen for everything for as long as he lives.

The difficulty lies in his followers. Nobody is holding Icke to any accountability. There are no definitive lines on what it would take for him to be decidedly wrong. Every incident, his groupies turn to him, awaiting his guidance, and he fires it to them, a new answer each time as if he knew the current events were inevitable even though he never said so. As long as there are problems in the world, Icke can use it to claim the Brotherhood are gaining control. In Icke's boogie man story, every incident has an ulterior motive. He will exploit any adverse event that takes place with the question "Who benefits from this problem?", and this will muster fearful unrest in his audience, generating cash flow into his pocket. He's covered all bases, and his people eat it up like chicken feed unaware that they are locked in the coop.

Perhaps I'm too optimistic, but I assume that even the strongest soldiers of the Ickian church can smell the glaring holes they choose to ignore. For starters, if this thousands-of-years-old Brotherhood exists, they suck at their job. Our freedom of travel and communication has improved immeasurably per generation, just look at me! I write cartoons online for a living while I skip from country to country. I’m freer than anyone could have possibly been mere decades ago. I’d struggle to be more free, to be honest. Furthermore, this so-called "secret organisation" is so terrible at staying "secret" that a footballer exposed them, but I guess it's their fault for leaving so many clues for us, right? Silly Brotherhood! And so here we have him, the glorious David Icke, writing about the most powerful Satanic paedophiles in the world. He openly details their crimes in books and all over the internet, never shut down beyond a few platforms that have had enough, yet all the information is still widely available whenever you want it. And herein lies the most complicated puzzle. If anything Icke said were remotely true, why is he not dead? If you want to know what happens to people with real knowledge, look at Snowden, look at Assange, look at Epstein.

I'll give you a clue on how this works: Icke's theory is ludicrous to the point of applesauce. I know from my knowledge on religion that almost everything consequential he wrote on that topic was utter nonsense. I destroyed his statements using the references her provided so often that it was laughable. That's why nobody of any qualified authority even bothers to discuss Icke. Because when you lift the veil, there's nothing there. I repeat: if David were even remotely correct, he'd be gone. But (until recently) he wasn't on anyone's radar because his information was so wholly fabricated and it wasn't worth anyone's time.

Now, it would be unfair for me to shred this book to ribbons and leave it like that. Because, as is everything, it wasn't all bad, and does deserve some respect. One undeniable strength of Icke's is his immense research abilities. The amount of effort that has gone into this book is daunting, and when coupled with the man's imagination, it's a thorough piece of work (even if he built it upon matchsticks). His pedantically detailed timeline of events led me down some fascinating rabbit holes, and I came away with newfound and appreciated education on specific topics (such as migration and ancient cultures). Those who accept Icke's messy inaccuracies are easily manipulated individuals, sure, but I understand the appeal, owed in part to Icke's delivery. He has taken in-depth and far-out ideas, then presented them in a simplistic easy-to-understand format without losing a certain sense of humour. If you face this book as the fantastical theory that it is, then it's an exhilarating read as well as potentially the most hilarious joke you've ever heard.

But, once again, we must be open enough to query whether maybe, just maybe, the story might be true. In this case, then Icke is not the one to tell it. His contribution is detrimental as he leaps to conclusions and pushes too far with base-less ideas, wrecking his credibility as the expert on subjects that have zero foundations. Theories are acceptable when recognised as just that: theories. But this was presented as a one-sided fact without merit, and that is its ultimate downfall.

That said, when you make a million statements, some are going to land, and certain speculations that predate his work are worth the contemplation time. Was there alien interference with our DNA? The proposal is not too far-fetched (the Rh incompatibility blood types are a decent indicator of this). Are the people in power hiding secret agendas, perhaps to reach a New World Order? Plausible. Does paedophilia run rife throughout the elite of our society? Paedophilia exists in all classes, and many high profile figures have been caught over the years, so these accusations are nothing new. But where Icke falls short is his obsession with linking everything together, fluffing far-removed concepts towards one another until his conclusions are so wild and groundless that it does not work on any rational plane. I don't doubt there's some crazy stuff going on, and whether you think there's not, or whether you think you know what's going on, or whether you think David Icke knows what's going on, then you are very closed off either which way.

But if we ever do somehow prove Icke was telling the truth, then fuck me. That's terrifying.

If I had the time, I'd write a conspiracy book of my own. Icke has shown me that you can build a mass following using assumptions alone, and I feel confident I could do so using more substantial evidence than he ever did. For starters, Icke discusses how he studied the manipulation tricks of the government and religion and media, and I believe he has exploited this knowledge for his gain. Don't believe anyone but me! Be very selective with your research! And why? Because Icke is a puppet of the New World Order himself. I'm not the first to make this connection. How do you distract the masses from looking into a plot of global control? Send in a lunatic, blabbering about lizard baby-eaters from the 5th dimension! It will repel the rational and consume the paranoid. Look at those social media platforms deleting Icke's profiles. Did that censor Icke? Or did it light a fire under his name, skyrocketing him into a much larger stratosphere of conversation? Did the banning of that London Reel video encourage more or fewer people to watch it? Do you think Facebook and YouTube with all their unlimited data on how users operate did not know this would happen? Think about it.

Furthermore, Icke's barrage of mind-warping information is a conditioning technique which has worked on many. His target is those who were already vulnerable, susceptible to irrationality due to obsessive personalities as well as (let's be honest) some history with marijuana usage. The plan is to appeal to shaken brains who seek meaning, yearning to feel special like they're part of a counter-movement of intellectual whispers. Icke talks about conditioning techniques extensively while using them himself, and it's very smart. He's telling you he's doing it to you while he does so, hidden in plain sight. I could go on for a long time about this, but I'd recommend you look up Ivan Fraser (who helped edit this book and was one of the eight names mentioned on the "dedicated to" page) and his dodgy experience with David Icke, as well as how Arizona Wilder (one of his key-witnesses to the lizards) was groomed to repeat his words. It's a sickening account indicating a willingness to manipulate others for his financial gain, which I believe Icke is doing to his readers too.

Let's take a more in-depth look at the common denominators between his followers that may indicate some form of manipulation has taken place. Readers of Icke claim that mainstream media have brainwashed the average person, yet they exclusively consume conspiracy theory material all day (mostly written by other conspiracy theorists without any professional basis to back their statements up). These people also claim we must question everything, but when you question their stance, they label us sheeple. These people also believe anything a book like Icke's will tell them, rejecting the scientific publications, because that same book told them to do so, the most blatant cycle of misdirection I've ever witnessed. It's a wall of irrationality and, in my experience, locked securely; utterly inscrutable. No fact is acceptable except for the ones presented by sources that agree with their narrative. Proof is a minor criterion.

For a group of people who pride themselves on open-mindedness, general conspiracy theorists are suspiciously close-minded. I find it funny, because I when I initially picked holes this book, I was told that my mind wasn't open enough. It's a false sense of tolerance which flairs into arrogance or defensiveness at the first whiff of opposition. If you believe the media, they scoff down at you with smugness. If you've researched their theories and can challenge them on their level, they turn rigid. They've adapted a victimised mentality, any criticism you offer is taken as a personal attack and promptly disregarded because you are too blind to see what they see. The resistant reactions I've experienced were borderline delusional. I've had one specific individual fighting my research by screaming at my face in public, his only words of evidence that "It's it obvious! Can't you see?! It's obvious!". This behaviour is more worrying than any religious nutter I have ever had to deal with in my life.

I am reminded of a quote by Tim Kreider, which goes:

"Outrage is like a lot of other things that feel good but, over time, devour us from the inside out. Except it's even more insidious than most vices because we don't even consciously acknowledge that it's a pleasure."

This stance rings accurate for conspiracy theorists too. They don't recognise that they are addicted to this way of thinking. It's granting them that elusive spirituality we all seek. It becomes a drug that serves the ego; a position of superiority where they believe they've found truth above general society just like all religions. In that motion, they post about their obsessions non-stop whilst swiftly rejecting any contradictory information under the guise that they do not swallow what they are told. They don't realise that they are swallowing what they are told. They fail to recognise it simply because it's not from a mainstream source. It's from books which make money off of their target market exactly. It's from articles that you can back-research to complete fabrication fueled by the mistrust of any standard data. It is incomprehensible, but here it is.

COVID-19 is an archetype of this formula. Despite scientists predicting an outbreak for decades, this is an unlikely scenario for Icke's children. Instead, the reptilian overlords are using a pandemic to control us. That makes more sense to them somehow.

Deep breath and realigning to my personal timeline, I was elated when I cracked all the clues throughout the conspiracy universe and resolved this madness. I could help people see the light! Let me share the good news! My friends, you do not have to be afraid! I did more research than anyone, I did more research than you, and I can get you out of this neurotic swamp! I started by writing two unrelated-to-Icke conspiracy articles named Is 5G an Evil Weapon Against Our Health? and Does Bill Gates Have Evil Vaccination Intentions?. I utilised a non-bias, resource-only based approach, and I was proud of them. I had a third one in the works too, but I ultimately shelved it after it came to my attention that these friends were not interested in citable investigations because their "open minds" were shut cases. I was dismissed by those who called me dismissive. I was labelled condescending by people who spend all day telling their Facebook friends how stupid they are. I recall politely listening to one lady explain why corona was a hoax for half an hour, but when I expressed my disagreement, my Messanger was annihilated by rows of laughing emojis. My weeks of research lost the battle; my hundreds of sources were no match for preconvictions. I was drowned out by a newsfeed of anti-vaxxer speeches, pizza-paedophile accusations, and Bill Gates YouTube videos, even if I could debunk all of them within 10 minutes using the same sources they provided. It took far too long to realise that facts meant nothing in this battle. So I surrendered. I stopped correcting these posts. I stopped posting about COVID completely. Because my happiness was being affected.

The depressing reality is that no matter which side you vocalise support for, you create a circle jerk of exclusion. Posting conspiracy theories or anti-conspiracy theories only reaffirm the bonds with those who agree with you at the same time as driving a stronger wedge between those who don't. I wanted to assist the people I cared for, but there came the point when I had to turn the spotlight on myself. My exploration into these concepts hit brick walls with such consistency that I grew exhausted by a repetition which held me back for so long. I could have done something meaningful with my time! I could have pursued my spirituality, and I could have helped people in more reliable ways. Instead, I tortured my wellbeing with nonsensical garbage that has zero foundations in reality, and the frustration was sickening. There is unshakable darkness within this type of study—I experienced it firsthand. Texts like Icke's and the likes train your brain to think in suspicious ways, every report suddenly stinks of ulterior motives that vomited from my delusions, and it’s going to take a while for me to unpick this crap from my immediate psyche. I regret everything but I'm happy that my recovery has begun. Meanwhile, those who are dedicated to these theories will gradually spiral into unrest until their presence conjures nothing but social gloom. Many will die harnessing that energy, and perhaps in those final moments, they will realise how they traded the miracle of their life for a suffering they could never justify with any rational proof. We can only hope they reach this conclusion at all.

Speaking of conclusion, here is mine: this book is a significant waste of time. It is a contender for the worst book I have ever read. I confess that I skimmed the final hundred pages or so because I could no longer stomach the poison. This does not mean to say that Icke and his followers are wrong, but it does mean to say that the theories stated in this book have no basis in researchable information and were entirely made up by Icke as he went along.

I know it may not seem like it, but I wholeheartedly support conspiracy theorists. I believe that society benefits from their sharp, sceptical eyes that fixate on those in power; they will be the first to notice when certain figures overstep the boundaries. However, I do have an issue when people forget the definition of the word "theories", and if Icke's farts are your predominate perception of the wider picture, then that a disturbing place to be.

The world has changed immeasurably in recent months. Stories of factless paranoia used to be cute and harmless, but right now, these attitudes have real-world repercussions. People are refusing vaccinations and masks based on sources which are paper-thin. I take these agitations personally because our strange current environment is ripe for spiritual growth yet we are being robbed by those arrogant contrarians who swear they've cracked the code. The globe is working in a unity like never before. We are making communal progress that could benefit us for the rest of human existence. But these views from negative spaces of fairy tales are hijacking the efforts. To label the majority of the population as sleepy because we don't see through the lizard king's eyes is disrespectful. And I believe this stance to be the single biggest threat to a global spiritual revolution right now.

Books like The Biggest Secret sell themselves as "eye-openers" and, yes, it did open my eyes. I see now how easy it is to manipulate the masses. People are too lazy to research what you're saying and instead are so desperate for meaning that they'll latch onto anything that heightens their emotions. Can anyone do what Icke has done? I'm starting to comprehend how this is possible.

In the end, some unfortunate cards fell upon my table. Very close friends to me who I respected the opinions of were members of this movement, and it polluted my radar. Most people I've met rightfully laugh off this nonsense and go on with their lives, whereas I took it on board. With a heavy heart, I wonder how much permanent damage has been inflicted on these once-close relationships because they are bad right now. If you've managed to experience these strange times without such an additional burden of filth, I am envious of you because I lost a lot of reflective time and invited a ton of resistance into my days. Hopefully, with this catharsis piece out of the way, I can finally accept the error of focus and move forward, ceasing my contribution to this neurosis pool forever. But let this be a lesson to anyone so inclined: never push your shit into my face. Because, if you get my attention, I will research it and I will write about it. And you probably won't like what I have to say.

Anyway, don't read this book, it's fucking garbage.


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David Bowie and the Fabric of Existence

I am going to tell you what happened and what is going to happen.

In 1972, an alien rockstar came to Earth from Mars. His name was Ziggy Stardust and he warned us that the world was set to be destroyed by an apocalyptic disaster within five years.

According to the prophecy, Ziggy himself dies, a victim of his fame. But, in real life, Ziggy only died as a concept, and our saviour lived on among us, holding the fabric of existence together. He went by many incarnations but was best known by his human name, David Bowie.

Sadly, by joining the human race, our alien hero also accepted mortality and met his ultimate fate on the 10th of January 2016, his messianic spirit rocketing back to the stars, where he always belonged.

Our reality was affected instantaneously, following the rule of fives as per the divine predictions. For example, the UK voted to leave the EU five months after his death. Trump took power of the United States five months following that. And, as any person living in our current age will attest to, this was only the beginning. Each year has slipped into deeper realms of unfathomable insanity, "unprecedented" becoming the true new normal.

By all accounts, 2020 has obliterated the previous years in terms of what-the-fuckery. Global issues before 2020 appear laughable now. This is because we completed the fourth rotation in January. Remember the threat of World War 3 due to tensions between the US and Iran? That set the higher motion of this revolution, all taking place within a week of Bowie's death anniversary (as well as his birthday). And if you think COVID-19 and the riots are crazy, just keep watching. Because, right now, as we speak, we are spiralling down the fifth and final year of human existence.

The world is going to end on the 10th of January 2021.


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BREAKING NEWS: New Details Emerge About the Dominic Cummings Lockdown Breach

LONDON. While statements from Dominic Cummings and Mary Wakefield divide a nation on whether his lockdown actions warrant a resignation, there is one central figure to this story that the media has largely overlooked: the couple’s son, Alexander Cedd Cummings.

Recently, investigative journalist Kieran Skieran sat down to interview the four-year-old. Together with renowned language expert, Samuel Crunkbottom (who specialises in the toddler tongue of the silver spoon variety), they uncovered details which may or may not alter the outcome of this narrative.

According to their interpretations, Mr Cummings was struck by a sudden mid-Spring metabolic deficiency and he required his yearly blood-transfusion much earlier than anticipated. However, due to the supply shortage during the COVID-19 pandemic, this procedure could only take place in County Durham at such short notice.

As The Daily Mail reports, Dominic Cummings suffers from a rare hereditary disorder that has run through his interbred ancestry for thousands of years. This medical condition (known as Plasma Occupant Eradication Syndrome but more commonly referred to as “vampire thirsting”) is diagnosed when an individual’s neural tissue becomes dehydrated by their own blood. This results in a myriad of side effects, including the craving for virgin flesh and an inescapable regret towards one’s role in the gradual collapse of Britain.

Little Alexander went on record stating that he feels his daddy’s actions came from a place of good heart. He added that Dominic was much less murderous after the successful transfusion and that the family had a wonderful day celebrating mommy’s birthday at Barnard Castle.

This story was sponsored by the Janthopoyism newsletter. Every month, one lucky subscriber will win a random prize. In May 2020, Kieran won a "200-Word Blog Post on Anything".
His chosen subject was as follows: "As Dominic Cummings and his wife have both wrote separately about their trip to Durham, I'd love to hear from their 4-year-old son who was along for the ride".
It shall be done.
If you'd like to be in the running for future prizes, don't hesitate! Sign up to the mailing list now.

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Does Bill Gates Have Evil Vaccination Intentions?

PART 2 OF THE COVID-19 CONSPIRACY SERIES.
NO OPINIONS, JUST NEUTRAL INFORMATION.

READ PART 1: IS 5G AN EVIL WEAPON AGAINST OUR HEATH?

Who is Bill Gates?

Bill Gates is best known as the co-founder and former CEO of the Microsoft Corporation. This technology company has created various software products (most notable the Windows operating system) and has subsequently remained one of the most valued companies in the world (currently the most valuable, overtaking Apple in 2018[ref]). Microsoft is valued at over $1 trillion since 2019[ref].

With a net worth of $105+ billion[ref], Bill Gates is the second richest man in the world behind only Jeff Bezos (Amazon founder and CEO)[ref]. There were only four years between 1995 and 2017 where Bill was not the richest person on the planet.

Bill Gates largely stepped down from his Microsoft duties in 2008 to devote more time to the private charity he has set up with his wife. It's called the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. Their goals are to improve global healthcare and reduce poverty. This is reportedly the world’s largest private charity[ref].

What is the Theory?

There are assorted dots scattered throughout this narrative. Conspiracy theorists tend to believe in different degrees and combinations of these points, but in one general string, it looks something like this:

Bill Gates may have invented COVID-19 himself or at least perpetuated the spread. He has done so to force the world to require a mandatory vaccine otherwise we'll never get back to normal life. This would not only skyrocket Bill Gates’ wealth due to his patent ownership but would also allow him to slip a microchip into every human being, tracking everyone, everywhere, at all times. All of which may be part of a Satanic plot to overthrow Donald Trump, possibly because Gates is part of a paedophile ring. I'll explain everything.

Where Do We Even Begin?

There are three distinct conspiracy timelines which have met up to create this mecha-theory, essentially the culmination of long-speculated anxieties coming to a climax right here. These are anti-vaccinations, microchip implants, and a general distrust for Bill Gates himself.

We will look at each of these separately.

What's the Anti-Vaccination Movement?

The anti-vaxxer (or vaccine hesitancy) community has existed for centuries, initially rooted in religion. In 1772, Reverend Edmund Massey famously dubbed inoculations against smallpox as the work of the devil[ref]. Over time, these arguments against vaccinations have evolved across a wide spectrum. They range from an understandable lack of confidence over the safety of a vaccine’s contents, all the way to linking autism to said vaccinations (a theory which has since been debunked a thousand times over[ref][ref][ref]).

In 2019, The World Health Organization called the vaccine hesitancy movement one of the biggest health threats in the world[ref] due to the outbreaks which have resulted from reduced immunities. This includes the 2004 reappearance of polio in Nigeria[ref]. There has also been a 30% global rise of measle cases/deaths[ref][ref], for example, 600 in Nigeria (Jan - March 2005)[ref] and 83 over the last year in Samoa[ref].

As it stands, the scientific consensus is that vaccines are safe due to the immense safety standards required from a medicine that is administered to millions of humans[ref]. However, people like Heidi J. Larson from WHO’s Strategic Advisory Group of Experts takes some of the blame, stating “We've invested in more and more vaccines and much less in bringing the public along with us. We need to pay attention to the public and listen to their concerns much earlier on.”[ref]

When it comes to corona, the war between the anti-vaxxers and the vaccination is nothing but loud words at this point. However, it will continuously gain momentum as we approach the inoculation date.

Microchip Implants: What Are the Concerns?

The long history of VeriChip human implants would take too much time to document but it truly became newsworthy in 2004 when the practice was legally approved by The Food and Drug Administration[ref]. Its current and potential functions include storing identity and medical information, monitoring diseases, tracking criminals, and replacing bank cards. Since then, places like the Epicenter in Stockholm[ref], City Watcher in Cincinnati[ref] and the Baja Beach club in Rotterdam[ref] have experimented with the microchip for allowing personal access into secure or VIP areas. It’s worth noting that, at this time, there are no reported GPS implants available due to issues like device size and battery life[ref][ref].

Questions quickly arose about this irremovable mechanism and its effects on our freedom. The American Medical Association published a report in 2007[ref] which queried privacy issues. Security researcher Jonathan Westhues demonstrated how easy it was to clone such microchips simply by standing next to their person[ref] in 2006.

The Bill Gates story is not the first time the conspiracy mill has spun about microchipping. Back in 2013, an email chain claimed Obamacare was looking to implant every US citizen by 2014 based on the H.R.3590 – Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act[ref]. No such wording existed but this did not stop the rumour from updating the deadline every year that passed[ref].

Also in 2014, an almost identical hoax cropped up about the Ebola vaccine[ref][ref] as well as one stating that all EU newborns were set to be chipped[ref]. Perhaps unsurprisingly, no reliable documentation can back up these claims.

As it stands, involuntary microchip implants are illegal in the American states of Arkansas, California, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Utah, and Wisconsin[ref][ref] and similar such laws continue to spread quickly. Consent is also required in the UK[ref]. As these notions are fairly new, many nations are yet to establish their laws. Nevertheless, it feels reasonable to suggest that any free country will view forced/undisclosed microchipping as a conflict of basic human rights.

Microchip Implants: The Mark of the Beast?

Much like any good story, we also have a birthplace in the Bible. More specifically, the Book of Revelation, the Bible's final book which deals with the end of the world and the second coming of Christ.

Look at Revelation 13:15–18 which states:

15. And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.
16. And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:
17. And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.[ref]

The Biblical/microchipping connection was made shortly after FDA approval. The Resistance Manifesto in 2005 by Christian conspiracy activist Mark Dice stands as one of the earliest published examples[ref][ref]. Ignoring the controversial author’s racist sexist homophobic[ref][ref][ref] tendencies, he did note some very interesting points with those Revelation lines, such as “rich and poor” (every class getting vaccinated), “receive a mark in their right hand” (an often proposed positioning of the microchipping), and that “no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark” (becoming a cashless society where only chips are accepted).

The cashless society branch leads into another recent theory by Oscar-winning Russian director Nikita Mikhalkov[ref] who called attention to a 2020 Microsoft patent. This document registers the idea that a person could earn cryptocurrency by performing certain activities[ref]. It makes no mention of microchips but who is to say? And what really tickled Mikhalkov’s imagination was the patent’s publication number: 060606[ref]. Three sixes! The number of the beast!

Which is to say that if Bill Gates delivers the microchip then he is surely fulfilling the prophecy of the Antichrist, sending whoever accepts the mark to Hell then ushering in the return of Jesus. Could be fun.

Can We Trust Bill Gates?

Bill Gates isn't exactly the poster child for trustworthiness. Most of this stems from criticisms against Microsoft’s business practices including overworking employees[ref] and questionable advertising techniques[ref][ref].

More to the topic, Microsoft and Gates have also come under fire for privacy issues. A leaked NSA document named Microsoft (and many other company giants) as providing non-US citizen data to the American government[ref][ref] which they have denied[ref]. The EU has had some particular concerns about data collections[ref][ref].

Furthermore, there are allegations of monopolising the PC market which has regularly found Microsoft in court. In 2001, there was the United States v. Microsoft Corporation case which accused the company of restricting users from installing competitive software. This was settled with Microsoft opening access to much of its code for third-parties[ref]. In 2007, the EU called for Microsoft Corp. v. Commission, claiming that Microsoft was blocking its competitors unlawfully. The courts agreed, smashing the company with a €497 million fine, the largest the EU had ever seen at the time[ref]. There are many more examples just like this[ref].

Such dubious undertakings are essential roots that feed into the theories. This is due to similar concerns between privacy/tracking microchips as well as Gates’ so-called monopolisation of the medical industry, which we will look at in greater detail later. Many hypothesise that the establishment of the Gates Foundation was merely to transform his public image into someone more likeable, giving him additional leeway for his future projects[ref][ref]. Meanwhile, Gates credits a reading list from Dr. Bill Foege for his interest in global health[ref].

There is already a mistrust for high up figures amongst those who swear by a New World Order social hierarchy, so when one of the richest men in the world has further muddied his name with the previous wrongdoings, then the crosshairs of conspiracy suspicions grow even larger. Hence why COVID-19 is not the first time Bill Gates has come under very similar allegations and, depending on the corona outcome, won’t be the last.

What's the Theory with Bill Gates and the 2015 Zika Virus?

One of the best examples of how this is not Gates’ first conspiracy virus rodeo would be that of the Zika virus.

In early 2015, a Zika outbreak raced across Brazil with 205,578 cases reported in 2016[ref]. This mosquito-spread disease is largely asymptomatic in an estimated 80% of infections and mildly feverish in the rest. However, it did cause severe birth defects[ref]. The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation responded by donating $750,000 to the CDC Foundation[ref] and backed the Oxitec project of releasing bacteria-infected mosquitoes into Brazil, spreading their own disease throughout that insect subspecies and limiting their ability to pass Zika to humans[ref].

That’s all the theorists needed and, led by conspiracy YouTuber VM Granmisterio[ref], they concluded that Bill Gates and Oxitec had developed a bioweapon as part of an ethnic cleansing program, one which would also stop people from breeding under the fear of birth defects[ref]. This was reportedly in hopes of reducing the Brazilian population, another component in this tale which we shall address shortly.

How Did Bill Gates Become the COVID Talking Point?

As if bringing anti-vaxxers, Christians, Bill Gates-haters and general conspiracy theorists onto the same playing field wasn’t enough to birth the ripest conspiracy case ever, Gates himself made three additional moves which threw a stronger brand of petrol onto the fire.

The first was that Gates has been warning about a virus outbreak since at least 2010[ref]. Some argue that a man wanting to control the world with a pandemic wouldn’t pre-warn us of its arrival. Others say that’s exactly what he would do if he intended to prepare us mentally for his plans, pushing us to easier accept the process. More on this later.

The second move was where the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation have committed at least $250 million[ref] in the fight against COVID-19. This ties into the theory of virus research monopolisation, another topic we will discuss later down the line.

The third and final move happened on the 18th of March 2020. Here, Gates opened an AMA (Ask Me Anything) thread on the relevant subreddit[ref], addressing any queries the public may have about, well, anything. When asked how to keep businesses functioning during times of social distancing, his response ended with:

“Eventually we will have some digital certificates to show who has recovered or been tested recently or when we have a vaccine who has received it.”[ref]

Which leads us to...

What Links This to Global Microchipping?

It took less than a day for the first article to expand this AMA response into the headline “Bill Gates will use microchip implants to fight coronavirus”[ref]. According to this piece, the “digital certificates” Gates was referring to are known as “quantum-dot tattoos” where microchips would be implanted via dissolvable sugar-based microneedles developed in part with a project called ID2020. This would grant Bill Gates greater control over the world like a mad Bond villain.

If we follow that article’s own source links[ref][ref] we quickly discover that no microchip implants are mentioned. Rather, “quantum-dot tattoos” are patches that stick invisible dye patterns under the skin that can be scanned to give digital information such as “this person has been vaccinated”. These patterns reportedly last for five years and can be delivered with the vaccine on one patch. The technology was tested on rats and is yet to be used on humans. The MIT research for this was funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.

Defenders point out that one cannot track your location using ink and that it simply functions like a modern update to the smallpox scar, a simple piece of yes-or-no data, nothing else. Such a program would be additionally useful in developing countries where there is a severe lack of medical recording processes[ref].

Although one could argue this is still the perfect avenue to slip a chip into someone without their knowledge.

Moving on to the aforementioned ID2020 company, and this is far more in tune with what an actual “digital certificate” is. Hint: it has nothing to do with quantum-dot tattoos or microchipping or even injections. This non-profit organisation has one goal: to provide identification for the billion+ people worldwide (such as those in developing countries or refugees) who have no form of identification. According to the ID2020 manifesto, individuals would have full control over their digital identities[ref] which would be stored in a cloud environment using blockchain technology[ref] for privacy reasons. The company is backed in part by Microsoft[ref] but is not directly involved with Gates. It appears data would be collected using biometrics[ref] such a fingerprints and iris scans. This notion is supported by ID2020’s partnership with Simprints[ref] an open-source fingerprint system[ref]. It is only fair to mention that Simprints was founded by students from the Gates-Cambridge Scholarships program who went on to win $210 million from the Gates Foundation in 2017[ref].

Irrespective of the truth or lies, the once-obscure ID2020 is now on the map big time for all the wrong reasons, receiving such vicious threats from conspiracy theorists that they resorted to getting the FBI involved. This was reported by the New Humanitarian, which also receives funding from the Gates Foundation[ref].

The final piece of this crazy collection comes with Bill Gates’ praise[ref] towards South Korea’s corona testing procedure and its very successful decline of infections. When someone tests positive in that country, their movements are traced back using a combination of smartphones, credit card usage and CCTV footage[ref]. This info is then released publicly for other citizens to assess their movements near exposures[ref]. Once again, this brings Gates’ opinions of privacy into question, but it also makes the idea of implant tracking seem redundant. They can track you already if they so choose.

How Did These Theories Spread?

Various mid-to-high profile players have helped to escalate this information early on. They include Trump’s buddy and conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones (more on him later); conspiracy theorist YouTuber James Corbett[ref] (more on him later), anti-vaccine nephew of JFK, Robert Kennedy Jr[ref]; pro-Trump conservative political activist, Candace Owens (more on her later); White House correspondent for conservative website Newsmax, Emerald Robinson[ref]; Italian politician and anti-vaxxer, Sara Cunial; Fox News host, Laura Ingraham[ref]; osteopathic conspiracy theorist and anti-vaxxier, Rashid Buttar[ref]; and convicted political consultant, Roger Stone[ref].

Additional props to Florida Pastor Adam Fannin who seems to be making some of the most interesting noise by mashing all of the notes together, including those parallels with the antichrist, microchipping, and depopulation[ref]. His video is close to two million views as I type this[ref]. Full disclosure that Adam Fannin owes much of his notoriety to that time he wished death upon comedian Sarah Silverman[ref].

Combine the above clout with the flammable webs of conspiracy communities and we are now looking at 44% of Republicans who will refuse vaccinations under the belief that Bill Gates is trying to chip us (according to a Yahoo/YouGov poll[ref]).

So... Did Bill Gates Engineer the Virus or What?

This theory is so wild that it is as difficult to disprove as it is to prove. The evidence trail is empty whichever way you look and it feels like the furthest leap one could make with their eyes closed.

Speculators claim that Gates knew about the coronavirus years beforehand because (1) he registered a coronavirus patent before the outbreak; and (2) he hosted a coronavirus simulation before the outbreak[ref]. We will address both of these suggestions shortly.

The official cause of COVID-19 is currently unidentified but experts are relatively convinced that it started at the Chinese wet market in Wuhan known as Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market. This is because several of the earliest patients had visited this area[ref] which has been called “unsanitary” by Time magazine[ref] due to its confined space shared with live and dead animals. The virus appears similar to those that originate in pangolin[ref] and bats[ref] (the latter of which is the more common conclusion). Of the 585 environmental samples collected from the market, 33 were found to have traces of the virus according to the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention[ref].

Did Bill Gates Know About COVID-19 Before It Happened?

Bill Gates has warned about a global pandemic for close to a decade now[ref]. Arguably his most discussed commentary came with his 2015 TED Talk titled “The next outbreak? We’re not ready”[ref].

Gates' supporters use this as evidence against the conspiracies, asking why a man would prewarn us if he intended to inflict a virus on society. The anti-Gates crowd argue that he was softening us to the idea, allowing him to proceed with his plans under the guise of a hero. Both debates have merit but, in truth, Gates was not the first to predict an outbreak in any fashion.

A year before that TED Talk, then-President Obama warned about the lack of preparation we had against such a pademnic[ref].

American molecular biologist, Joshua Lederberg, was quoted saying “The single biggest threat to man’s continued dominance on the planet is the virus” in 1988[ref]. This was used to open the 1995 film Outbreak[ref] which dealt with similar scenarios.

In fact, Hollywood has been in tune with this idea for longer than any of us[ref]. 12 Monkeys (1995), Contagion (2011), and just about every zombie flick ever made now seem so obvious in hindsight as cautionary tales about the devastating effects of viruses. The Hot Zone miniseries about a deadly outbreak of Ebola was released mere months before the first documented case of COVID-19[ref] and itself was based on the 1994 nonfiction book by Richard Preston[ref]. David Quammen 2013 book Spillover: Animal Infections and the Next Human Pandemic warned about wild animals passing destructive diseases to humans[ref]. Laurie Garrett’s 1995 book The Coming Plague: Newly Emerging Diseases in a World Out of Balance warned about taking action to avoid further outbreaks[ref]. The goal of the 2008 Pandemic board game is to stop diseases from wiping out regions[ref].

Quick side note: rumours that Netflix’s 2020 documentary series Pandemic: How to Prevent an Outbreak was funded by Gates are wholly unfounded. That said, Gates did personally recommend the series on his blog[ref].

The alarm bells about global viral infections have been going off for years. Bill Gates’ 2015 Ted Talk was speaking about a general epidemic based on the Ebola problem from one year previous, an outbreak his charity was heavily involved with, committing $50 million to the United Nations to help with supplies[ref]. Furthermore, Bill Gates’ TED Talk predicted that the outbreak would start and spread through underdeveloped countries, which was not the case for corona[ref]. In summary, there is no evidence backing that Bill Gates predicted COVID-19 specifically.

But What About the COVID-19 Patent Owned by Bill Gates?

What’s crucial to understand is that coronavirus is a collective term for a group of viruses known to cause disease in birds and mammals. The word “coronavirus” was first published in 1931[ref]. Severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is a coronavirus, and COVID-19 is caused by SARS-CoV-2.

A patent was filed for coronavirus (not COVID-19) in 2015 by the Pirbright Institute[ref]. By reading this document, you will notice the term “avian infectious bronchitis virus” (IBV) crops up a lot. IBV is a weaker coronavirus that affects birds[ref]. This patent was about using reverse genetics on an embryonated bird egg. But when you find out that the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation awarded $5.5 million to the institute in 2019[ref], then the flames rise (even though this happened long after the patent was registered).

Most likely due to these rumours, the Pirbright Institute has gone on record stating that they receive funds from many other sources and the Gates Foundation did not back that specific patent[ref]. The online document itself even comes with a disclaimer at the top informing the public that this is not a COVID-19 nor even a human-related patent[ref].

In conclusion: A scientific research company who owns a patent about a coronavirus that isn’t COVID-19 and primarily infects birds did receive money from Bill Gates’ charity after the fact. Less of a ring to it though, right?

Did Bill Gates Run a COVID-19 Simulation Before the Outbreak?

The more you research this conspiracy, the more the name Alex Jones keeps cropping up over and over again.

Alex Jones is the owner of the notorious conspiracy theorist website InfoWars[ref]. For an interesting yet certainly one-sided view on the man, check out this video where Hilary Clinton used Jones’ relationship with Trump to assist her 2016 presidential campaign[ref]. Regardless, it seems whichever corona direction you turn, this guy is ready to cash-in on the action, be it from encouraging crowds to chant “arrest Bill Gates” at protests[ref] while selling “coronavirus cures" such as gel and toothpaste (which the FDA have warned him to stop doing[ref]).

Nevertheless, Jones’ crowning achievement was “exposing” a simulation that the Gates Foundation ran in October 2019 during what was known as Event 201[ref]. In this tabletop exercise, participants worked to stop the spread of a hypothetical virus and ultimately ended with 65 million hypothetical people dead within 18 months.

This has worked as a strong component of the conspiracy theory. Part of the reason why is that Event 201 did happen just as described above[ref] as a collaboration between The Gates Foundation and The Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security. We should note that Johns Hopkins University receives funding from the Gates Foundation[ref].

The Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security responded to the allegations by once again highlighting the broadness of the “coronavirus” term whilst noting that there were severe differences between their fictional coronavirus and COVID-19[ref][ref]. Furthermore, the Johns Hopkins Center has been running similar exercises for close to a decade now, for example, their 2001 and 2005 simulations hypothesising around a smallpox terrorism attack on the United States[ref][ref].

Is Bill Gates a Satanic Paedophile?

For those who like their plots extra dank, here we are.

The rumours appear to have started with the far-right conspiracy theory group behind QAnon. Initiated by a single 4chan poster in 2017, their premise is that Donald Trump has saved the world from assorted Satanic paedophile leaders. This rabbit hole goes deep in the opposite direction, so I must leave you to look at that one yourself. Wikipedia’s article appears fairly thorough to me[ref] as does this article in New York Magazine[ref].

According to some of these threads, Bill Gates created the virus as a desperate move to finally stop Trump[ref]. A lot of this cited evidence weighs upon the Pirbright patent we looked at earlier.

As for the “child sex slave ring,” these are not without some merit and are based on several suspicious factors. There were definite connections between Gates and infamous sex-offender Jeffrey Epstein[ref]. Gates once flew on Epstein's plane from Teterboro Airport in New Jersey to Palm Beach[ref] (but never Epstein’s island, contrary to some reports). This has been proven with the release of an official flight manifesto[ref].

Furthermore, an engineer working at Gate’s mansion named Rick Allen Jones was arrested for child pornography in 2014[ref], a case which has appeared to vanish[ref] leading theories of Gate’s involvement. I do not write this off but I also struggle to find any reputable information about Rick Allen Jones, not a photo nor any web presence whatsoever.

Another hugely incriminating headline reads “Bill Gates Sued For Forcing Staff To Watch Child Rape And Murder”[ref] which is crazy misleading. This is about moderators doing their job by flagging inappropriate user-generated content. The filed complaint states that they did not receive adequate psychological support for the task at hand[ref].

The “Satanic” aspect more than likely ties to the Antichrist parallels that we have also already covered above.

Is Bill Gates Monopolising the Health Industry?

Of all the weird and wonderful conspiracy points on our windy trail, very few stand the test as well as this suggestion.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation freely unloads stacks of cash in every medical direction. According to The Guardian, the foundation has granted $3 billion every year to the industry with a total of $32.9 billion by 2015[ref]. This very article of mine has already mentioned many without even scratching the far-reaching surface.

It’s got to the point that you can click the investor/sponsorship button on just about any renowned health organisation's website, and you will likely read the foundation’s name there. You can find an extensive searchable database of these fundings on their website[ref]. The list of recipients is understandably too long to delve into here but does include many very admirable causes. However, for the sake of this article, we will be focusing on two specific organisations that slot in with the conspiracy narrative: GAVI and WHO.

Who Are GAVI?

GAVI (Global Alliance for Vaccines and Immunization) is a worldwide health partnership aiming to get vaccines to poor countries. Bill Gates helped the founding of this alliance and has given crazy money to their cause with around $4.1 billion to date[ref]. The GAVI name appears in the top 12 list of highest Gates donations five times[ref] including the Gates’ biggest donation to date with $1,543,757,800 in 2016[ref].

Despite saving a projected 13.4 million lives[ref], GAVI’s business tactics have come under some serious questioning. They have been accused of not supporting local healthcare systems as well as older vaccines by always pursuing newer, better, and more expensive options, meaning higher profits for investors[ref]. One example of this is when Doctors Without Borders (Médecins Sans Frontières - MSF) appealed to GAVI to use cheaper pneumonia vaccines developed in India rather than Pfizer/GlaxoSmithKline as those pharma-giants were swallowing up 80% of that project's financing[ref]. As GAVI is privately funded, this also raises concerns over individual motives.

According to an article from the Guardian, GAVI has defended themselves by stating “GAVI wants to encourage the pharmaceutical industry to develop new vaccines for killer diseases in developing countries. Industry would not invest in those diseases unless there was a potential market”[ref]. Regardless, it’s clear to see that in the world of vaccine domination, GAVI and Gates consider it a business.

Who Are WHO?

WHO (the World Health Organization) is a United Nations agency responsible for international health. Trump recently announced the termination of all US funding to WHO[ref] which leaves the Gates Foundation as their biggest contributor[ref]. WHO plays a crucial role in coordinating international responses to diseases and COVID-19 is no exception. For example, it was WHO that declared this coronavirus outbreak to be a pandemic[ref]. WHO has also been working with many social media platforms (such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube) to flag or even erase misinformation[ref]. While some praise this work, others worry about how much power this gives WHO and, in turn, the Gates Foundation.

Does Gates Control the Media?

Control is a strong word but as a video from the conspiracy theory YouTube channel The Corbett Report[ref][ref] accurately points out, he does sponsor a lot of money towards news sources. These include $1,4 million to the BBC[ref], $1.5 million to the ABC[ref], and $3 million to NPR[ref] as well as standing as the primary supporter of The Guardian website[ref] and Our World in Data[ref].

What Does This All Meaaaaan?

It completely depends on how you want to look on it.

On the one hand, the Gates Foundation has an absurd amount of wealth and could be gifting a decent portion of it to genuinely support organisations that they feel are doing good work. After all, programs like GAVI are saving lives (as we see above and more on this later). Plus, the Gates Foundation’s searchable grant database is transparent with its reasoning behind each and every donation[ref].

On the other hand, the funding could apply pressure. We are looking at a situation where the research data, the international coordination, and the media reporting (including user-driven social media content) are all running on Gates’ pocket, meaning that if he does have an agenda, it wouldn’t be too difficult to nudge the entire health industry in his direction. The concern multiples when you remember we are dealing with a man famous for monopolising industries already[ref].

Of course, there are other factors. Considering the sheer amount of organisations that the Gates fund, how many people would have to keep quiet if blatant manipulation was going on? How far would the blurry line of objectivity have to get molested before professional integrity kicked in for at least some of those involved? If Bill Gates truly had sinister motives, why is he so eager to put his name on everything? And as these conspiracy theories continue to gain momentum, is the Gates Foundation and its reputation becoming more of a kiss of death? Will there come a time where well-meaning organisations refuse sponsorship due to reputation? And will this rejection of funding costs lives? I dunno.

How Can Bill Gates Make Medical Statements Without a Medical Degree?

If there is any scary premise you can freely ignore, this would be it. No, Bill Gates does not have a medical degree. But he has hired many many advisors who do, including an entire medical research institute[ref] to pass on relevant information. Do you have a medical degree?

The Billion Dollar Question: Will Bill Gates Gain or Lose Money From COVID-19?

It’s a difficult query with no definitive answer but we can break it down into smaller variables.

Before It’s News (a website which currently boasts a 0/100 trustworthy score according to News Guard[ref]) posted a viral article[ref] featuring a video by Zed Phoenix[ref]. Together, they stated that the Gates Foundation stood to gain £45 billion from the vaccine in the UK alone. This figure was based on the price of £477 per injection which was reported by the Daily Mail and the Daily Mail only[ref] which, as a resource, is notoriously problematic anyway[ref]. Regardless, the Daily Mail prematurely crowned the biotech company Moderna as the vaccine kings, which comes with many puzzles in itself. First of all, Moderna's COVID work has not reported any funding from the Gates Foundation[ref]. The U.S. Government Agency BARDA is looking after them[ref]. Moderna also told Business Insider that their vaccine would not be priced more than other respiratory vaccines which could be ballpark-estimated to around $200 per shot[ref]. Profit does not take into account how much each shot will cost to manufacture as well as the fact that the vaccine does not even fucking exist yet.

Nevertheless, the race for financial gain with a COVID-19 patent is very real in the pharmaceutical industry[ref][ref] but there is a fight to prevent this. Trump received a letter from 46 Congressional Democrats urging the refusal of any private ownership of the future vaccine[ref]. The EU is proposing a pooling arrangement[ref] where information and patents will be shared to ensure lower prices and wide availability. In an open letter curated by UNAID and Oxfam (which was signed by over 140 world leaders and experts) demanded that all treatments be patent-free and available to everyone everywhere[ref].

But perhaps most interesting of all, is the World Health Organisation’s stance on the matter. On the 24th of April 2020, they released the Access to COVID-19 Tools (ACT) Accelerator[ref] which is aimed to make COVID-19 treatments available worldwide with a patent pool[ref]. And what’s more, the launch itself was co-hosted by Bill and Melinda Gates[ref]. To simplify: Gates is fighting for a globally accessible vaccine, free of privatisation. Some might consider this the death blow to the entire profiteering conspiracy.

Whether this comes to pass or not is another story but, if so, Bill Gates is looking to lose money from the pandemic. A lot of money. Figures include the initial $100 million donated in February 2020[ref], the $150 million to WHO in hopes of balancing the US withdrawal[ref], and further billions reported to fund seven vaccine factories[ref].

Please Note: According to Americans for Tax Fairness, Bill Gates has, in fact, increased his wealth by 8.2% between March and May 2020, but this is unrelated to the outbreak[ref].

Did Bill Gates Say He Wanted to Reduce the Population?

This bit of excitement started on January 1st 2016 with an article on Your News Wire (now known as NewsPunch, one of the most debunked websites on the internet[ref]). The article was titled "Bill Gates Admits Vaccines Are Best Way To Depopulate”[ref] based on a 2011 interview with CNN’s Sanjay Gupta. Here, Bill Gates stated that vaccines gave the chance to reduce sickness and therefore reduce population growth[ref]. There was also a 2010 Ted Talk where Bill Gates spoke about carbon emission, stating that vaccines could lower our population by 10 - 15% (it's around the 4:30 mark[ref]). These soundbites were enough to convince people that Gates had a plan to create a vaccine that either killed humans or reduced fertility, most likely aimed at developing countries for some ethnic cleansing reason (which we’ll discuss shortly).

What’s interesting is that NewsPunch has since completely backtracked on the article[ref].

In truth, the concept Gates was referring to was this: the smaller the death rate of children, the smaller the chance parents will over-reproduce in hopes of survival. He's made this abundantly clear on several occasions[ref][ref].

A different tangent of interest is the design of an implantable birth-control microchip developed by MIT and funded by the Gates Foundation[ref][ref]. With this, users could turn on and off their fertility at will. This would almost seem like a good idea if we weren’t talking about Gates and microchips again, eek!

Is Bill Gates Using Africa As His Vaccination Guinea Pigs?

The distrust between Africa and Western medicine is complicated but if you’d like to explore the full length of it, Type Investigations has one of the most thorough articles that I’ve found on the matter[ref]. If you do so, pay attention to the history between the Gates Foundation and Ghana[ref].

What matters in context is that tensions were already high. But when it comes to Bill Gates and COVID-19 specifically, the stories appear to take higher flight on March 27 2020 with a Facebook post from acclaimed but controversial French microbiologist Dr Didier Raoult[ref][ref]. The post questioned Bill Gates’ supposed decisions to test Africa with vaccinations then warned the continent to refuse any of the treatments. However, the text was plagued with spelling errors and some grew suspicious until Check News, a French-fact checking organisation, got hold of Raoult’s place of work where the story was confirmed as false[ref]. Unfortunately, the damage was done and the hoax caused all kinds of trouble. South African media outlet News24 published an article perpetuating the claims but have since issued an apology and an investigation into how that got onto their site[ref]. Video bloggers Diamond and Silk joined the bandwagon[ref] and were then fired from Fox News (according to The Daily Beast[ref]). A White House petition demanded an investigation into Gates’ “crimes against humanity”[ref]. And the South African comedian Trevor Noah received death threats after interviewing Gates[ref].

Things slipped deeper in early April where a debate featuring French doctors Jean Paul Mira (head of intensive care at Cochin hospital) and Camille Locht (head of research at the Inserm health research group) discussed potential vaccination experimentation in Africa[ref]. This essentially had nothing to do with anything but served to intensify the anxiety.

Speaking to The Cable, Mark Suzman (CEO of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation) explained that these two doctors had nothing to do with their work and assured everyone that they are against using Africa as a guinea pig nation[ref]. The World Health Organisation called the doctors “racist” and went on record that "Africa can't and won't be a testing ground for any vaccine"[ref]. President of South Africa, Cyril Ramaphosa, tweeted his support for Bill Gates and thanked him for his medical support over the many years[ref].

What About Candace Owens and Sharmeen Ahmed?

When it comes to this avenue of the conspiracy, no name appears to have spoken louder than that of Candace Owens. A highly controversial political activist, she is known for her stances that are pro-Trump[ref], anti-#metoo[ref], and anti-the Black Lives Matter protests[ref]. Due to her opinions on gun control and Islam, she was named the main influence behind the Christchurch mosque shootings in New Zealand by the shooter himself[ref].

On April 15th 2020, she accused Bill Gates and WHO for testing vaccines in Africa and India for years via Facebook[ref] and Twitter[ref]. To support her claims, she provided a paper by Sharmeen Ahmed published by the Golden Gate University School of Law[ref][ref]. This paper appears to mainly attack three specific vaccination programs (HPV, malaria, and meningitis) run by nonprofit health organisation PATH (Program for Appropriate Technology in Health) which took place in India and Africa. This report has come under heavy scrutiny[ref][ref] but let’s analyse the content for ourselves.

Did HPV Vaccinations Kill Children in India?

This is a biggie often quoted by opposers from all backgrounds.

In 2010, a PATH project was set up to reduce HPV infections for countries such as Peru, Uganda, Vietnam, and India. It was funded by the Gates Foundation[ref]. India was a major focus here due to the country's yearly 60,000+ women who die from cervical cancer following HPV infection[ref]. PATH vaccinated around 23,500 females[ref] but the project was halted after news reports claimed seven girls had died from the treatment[ref].

Investigations proved that these deaths were unrelated to the vaccine. Instead, they were caused by factors such as epilepsy, malaria, a snake bite, and two suicides[ref][ref]. The reason why this seems logical is because the vaccines used (Gardasil and Cervarix[ref]) are not new drugs and have been administered worldwide over 200 million times[ref]. The notion that these were untested vaccines has also been debunked as Gardasil was first FDA approved 2006[ref] while Cervarix was approved in 2009[ref].

The Indian Parliament’s Standing Committee on Health and Family performed an investigation of their own[ref] and had some interesting speculations (for example, that the vaccinations may have led to suicidal tendencies). In the end, they ultimately ruled that they could not find any connections. However, consent forms were determined to be incorrectly filled out which local newspaper The Hindu called “shockingly unethical”[ref].

Both PATH and the Gates Foundation continue to work in India[ref][ref].

A large theme throughout Sharmeen Ahmed’s paper is one of depopulation which we discussed earlier. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are no links between HPV vaccinations and infertility[ref].

Did Malaria Vaccinations Kill Children in Africa?

Another biggie concerns PATH’s 2010 Malaria Vaccine Initiative. Here they used a vaccine by GlaxoSmithKline across seven African countries while receiving a grant from the Gates Foundation[ref]. Ahmed’s paper hinted that of the 15,000+ children inoculated during phase three of the trial, 150 died as a direct result of the vaccine[ref]. This statement loses all credibility when you learn that the number includes all deaths after the vaccine within an 18-to-24-month timeframe for the older category, and a 9-to-17-month timeframe for the younger category[ref]. The list of deaths was always open to the public[ref] and includes causes such as HIV and drowning. 10 deaths were from malaria itself, which was considered low for the area[ref]. According to The Dispatch Fact Check, none of these deaths were related to the vaccine[ref].

Similarly, Ahmed claimed that 1,048 of the children suffered “serious adverse effects, including paralysis and seizure”[ref]. That is incorrect. According to the very same study that Ahmed cites as her reference[ref] only 11 children experienced adverse events (keyword) directly related to the vaccine and the term “paralysis” is nowhere to be found. You can read the full list of adverse events here[ref].

With a 30–50% efficacy[ref], these trials were considered a massive success, potentially saving millions of lives, no ethical concerns were raised, and the program continues to move forward to this day[ref].

Did Meningitis Vaccinations Kill Children in Africa?

Sharmeen Ahmed’s mention of PATH’s Meningitis Vaccine Project is so brief, it’s hardly worth going into. Known as MenAfriVac, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation donated a ten-year, $70 million grant to establish the project in 2001[ref]. Costing around US$0.40 a dose[ref] and completely eradicating meningitis in 16 countries by 2018[ref] the project could not have been a bigger success. Even Ahmed struggles to negate the achievement, claiming “there were reports of informed consent violations” but “these were unsubstantiated” and “there were reports of adverse health effects in Burkina Faso, but these were deemed by medical researchers as normal and did not warrant safety concerns”[ref].

There were four adverse vaccine-related side effects in Burkina Faso. That's one per three million vaccinated[ref]. This was not a trial run either as the vaccine was already approved[ref]. Nobody died. People would have died but now they live.

Who Is Currently Leading the Vaccine Race? Who Does Bill Gates Sponsor?

According to the man himself, there are 115 COVID-19 vaccine candidates as of April 2020[ref]. Due to this, my information is certainly going to go out of date embarrassingly quickly, but at the time of writing (early June 2020), these are the main players who are already reaching the trial phase of the process:

CanSino Biologics
Where: China
What: Ad5-nCoV[ref]
Human clinical trials have begun, the first vaccine to enter this phase[ref].
The Gates Foundation has invested money towards previous vaccine research (at least $400,000[ref]).

University of Oxford
Where: UK
What: ChAdOx1 nCoV-19[ref]
Already recruited for human clinical trials phase[ref].
The Gates Foundation has invested money towards this vaccine research (at least $7.5 million[ref]).

Moderna
Where: USA
What: mRNA-1273[ref]
Announcing first participants[ref].
There has been no findable funding from The Gates Foundation towards this vaccine.
The Trump Administration has invested money towards this vaccine research (at least $483 million[ref]).

BioNTech/Pfizer
Where: Germany/USA
What: BNT162 (a1, b1, b2, c2)[ref] 

Recruiting for human clinical trials phase[ref].
The Gates Foundation has invested money towards this vaccine research (at least $55 million[ref]).

Sinovac Biotech
Where: China
What: CoronaVac[ref]
Not yet recruiting for human clinical trials phase[ref].
There has been no findable funding from The Gates Foundation towards this vaccine.
Advantech Capital and Vivo Capital have invested money towards this vaccine research (at least $15 million[ref]).

Inovio Pharmaceuticals
Where: South Korea and USA
What: INO-4800[ref]
Recruiting for human clinical trials phase[ref].
The Gates Foundation has invested money towards this vaccine research (at least $5 million[ref]).

Other big vaccine players to keep an eye on include Johnson & Johnson, Sanofi, Shenzhen Geno-Immune Medical Institute, Novavax, the University of Washington, the La Jolla Institute for Immunology, Wuhan Institute of Biological Products, Beijing Institute of Biological Products, and the University of Queensland.

Will We Be Forced to Take the Vaccine?

This depends on your country as the world differs on what vaccines should be voluntary, recommended, or mandatory. These decisions often revolve around public schooling and welfare. Furthermore, who knows what types of laws could come as a result of this pandemic. However, we can predict a glimpse of each nation’s potential stance by looking at their current laws. Here are some of those for interest’s sake:

Perhaps the most terrifying law was passed recently (March 2020) in Denmark which allows the government to forcefully COVID-19 vaccinate you once the meds come into existence. This law expires in March 2021[ref]. Considering the country has no other mandatory vaccinations in circulation[ref], this could be some indication of what’s to come globally.

Despite recent rumours[ref], consent must be obtained for all vaccinations in the UK according to section 45E of the Control of Disease Act 1984[ref].

USA laws depend from state to state but children are required to get certain shots if they attend public schooling[ref]. However, 19 states do have medical, religious, and philosophical loopholes[ref].

Australian vaccines are non-compulsory for adults but they will pay you A$129 if you take the plunge[ref].

In the EU; Bulgaria, Croatia, Czech Republic, France, Hungary, Poland, Slovenia and Slovakia have up to nine compulsory vaccines for children[ref][ref]. 13 EU countries have some form of mandatory vaccinations while 16 have none whatsoever[ref].

Latvia is non-compulsory for adults but one must sign a document to state that they understand the risks[ref].

Despite having the strongest anti-vaxxer population in the world[ref] France require 11 vaccinations for public school kids[ref]. Italy[ref] and Germany[ref] will fine you if you do not vaccinate your children.

Vaccinations are mandatory in Argentina[ref], Brazil[ref] and Indonesia[ref]. Malaysia vaccinates their children as part of the school program[ref].

That said, the majority of countries in the world are voluntary including all of Africa, most of Asia[ref], Canada[ref], and Russia[ref].

Of course, good luck if you want to go on vacation anywhere outside of your own borders. Required travel vaccinations are already an implemented standard in many places[ref] and COVID-19 will most likely join international programs.

Why Are Social Media Videos of Bill Gates Being Deleted?

While many platforms are working with WHO to flag misinformation[ref], I am still able to find many videos which accuse Gates of microchipping or Satanic intentions or potential cashless societies[ref][ref][ref] with millions of collected views to back them up. Yes, this includes ones that feature David Icke[ref] and ones that use the clickbaity “THEY WILL DELETE THIS” title[ref] even though they don't delete this. It appears that most of the erased Gates-related content were the pieces that linked 5G to COVID-19 or disputed the existence of the virus[ref][ref]. These videos were deemed against certain policies as a direct retaliation to the burning of 5G towers[ref]. YouTube also demonetises anti-vaxxer channels[ref].

Has Bill Gates Actually Done Any Good?

That’s somewhat of an understatement.

It would be an unreasonable expectation to list everything that Gates and his foundation has achieved through donations to other organisations over the years. However, here are some of the more impressive examples:

Helping to reduce infant mortality by 50% within 25 years (which equates to an estimated 122 million lives)[ref][ref].

Helping to save an estimated 32 million lives through the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria[ref].

Raising nearly $1.5 billion with Rotary to fight polio since 2007[ref], helping to eradicate the disease from India by 2011[ref] and wiping out two of the three wild strains by 2019[ref].

Helping to reduce meningitis infections to an absolute zero in 16 countries[ref].

Helping to reduce measle deaths in Africa by 90% since 2000[ref].

And funding as well as naming the Omni Processor treatment which converts faecal matter into drinkable water for the developing world[ref][ref].

Beyond his global health interest, Gates has also donated $6 billion to 392 universities in 51 countries[ref]. His biggest donation was $1,264,876,898 to the United Negro College Fund, Inc in 1999[ref].

What Does Bill Gates Say About All of This?

"I'd say it's ironic that you take someone who's doing their best to get the world ready and putting, in my case, billions of dollars into these tools for infectious diseases, and really trying to solve broadly infectious diseases — including those that cause pandemics. But we're in a crazy situation, so there's going to be crazy rumours." - Bill Gates[ref]

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