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Originally Written: 31/08/08
Introduction
I would like to think that by now 99% of people who have access to any form of media have been exposed to the Law of Attraction. Even though the first publication of LOA was in 1879 in the New York Times, it was only until the release of The Secret DVD in 2006 that the whole world took notice, including myself. Now, a lot of people I have debated with reject the idea immediately, and so if you feel that this life changing New-Age thought idea is a bunch of crap, my suggestion is not to read this. However, if you are someone who is interested in this, or even better, someone who practices LOA and wants a little more ooomph in their manifestation, this is for you.
What is LOA?
The Law of Attraction is (very basically) the idea that like attracts like. Most of the people who reject this do it on the basis that it is "wishful thinking" and even some sort of a cult thing going on. But by breaking it down using simple Quantum-Physics, it really isn't as magical as one would think. Everyday we are all bombarded with information. From Tv to the internet to even walking down the street and being exposed to countless fashion statements, corporate logos and items to purchase. It is IMPOSSIBLE for our brains to take all the information in. So as an almost defense mechanism, our brains only take in what it feels is relevant to what it is that we are thinking about.
I won't go into too much detail, but the idea is that we should keep good thought, and when an intrusive bad thought comes along we can recognize it as being negative, and then swiftly replace it with a thought you love and hold onto the feeling. Two people could be walking down the same street on a rainy day. The person who has been constantly allowing negative thoughts into their brain may think "Damnit I am getting wet!" The person who has been thinking how great everything is might be thinking "I can't wait to get home and have that nice bath." It's the same situation, but your perspective determines your attitude towards life, and everything will look hunky dory.
This goes a little further, as the real "Secret" that people might miss is that one must pretend that you already have everything you want, therefore your energy and your cells are on the right frequency. This is difficult to grasp, as you are essentially lying to yourself, but I can't express enough how amazing this is. Just think about it, if you are focusing on what it is you don't have, you are just reminding yourself that you are missing something, and that will get you down and you won’t notice when the opportunity to get what you want comes along. But by living your life as if you already are rich/famous/in a happy relationship/best job etc etc, it becomes easier to see what the next step is towards the ultimate goal.
Unfortunately, there is too much to this for me to explain what I have learned, but if you are interested I could send you a message about how I have used LOA to get AMAZING things in my life. But this is not what this note is about. I urge you to research the Law of Attraction. The Secret is a good start, but my suggestion is to YouTube Abraham-Hicks, as this is the teachings that the Secret was based on in the first place. If you have a high speed connection, I BEG YOU to watch these: http://ipb.quicksilverscreen.com/index.php?showtopic=67196
[THANKS SIMON!!!!!]
Or just read the summary here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_attraction#Overview
Once you grasp this stuff, not only will your life become measurably more blissful, but you can continue to do research on how to get exactly what you want. Fine-tuning is the key, listening to your emotions is like the GPRS system to guide your thoughts, and before you know it, being sad is just not an option.
Now, as a facebook addict, I have come to discover a few ways that the two things can be used together in a very impressive unity. As I have said, don't read this if you don't believe in LOA, but if you do, here are a few things you can do using facebook to feel good, empower your inner vibration and manifest what it is you truly desire.
Emo Status Updates
This is a massive pet-peeve of mine. Everyday I see so-called LOA-believers with the most emo statuses, which just proves that they don't get it. When you write "so-and-so is lonely" or "so-and-so can't believe how I have been treated" etc... do you have ANY idea what you are actually doing??
I read somewhere that just the act of writing/typing thoughts down manifests things 60% faster. I can't imagine how someone could measure a statistic like that accurately, but the point is that it makes a HUGE difference. I can stand as proof of that, as almost anything I have purposefully created comes from this method.
It makes sense too. If you think about something, your thought omits a frequency. This frequency reaches every cell in your body, and (according to LOA) every single bit of energy in the universe, as we are all connected by this way. This sets off a reaction of manifestation. But by writing something down, it has gone from a level of thoughts and frequencies, to an actual physical item. It is no longer just a thought, it is now on a piece of paper or your PC screen, something you can touch and feel. It has passed the phase of a complete frequency and has become a fixed thing in reality, if this makes sense.
Facebook status' can be very dangerous in this way. Not only have you typed your emo thought down, which reaffirms how you are feeling, but now it reaches all your friends. So let’s just say someone types " so-and-so is so depressed". You feel it, you reaffirmed you are feeling kak, and no doubt, you feel worse. Now your friends see this, and they feel kak for you. And they will respond "Why are you feeling depressed?". This has upset their frequency and even worse, is provoking you to delve deeper into your depression. Because now you will respond "I am depressed cos I have no lover/money/blah blah" and this is the WORST thing. Now you are focusing all your resources on your depression, your reasons for depression and the whole vibe fucks out, for you, and your friends.
DON'T DO IT. If you are a sympathy-junkie-attention-seeker, I can see the advantage, sure. But if you are truly feeling bad, and you don't want to feel this way, DO NOT give it any time or energy, and DO NOT tell people about it! Rather, think of a humorous twist on your situation and use that. Or just lie and say " so-and-so is really happy I have such nice friends" or whatever. Because what you focus your energy on is only going to get bigger and dominate your entire life.
My Status Update Secret
Ok, so now you get that by being emo for the world to see, will only snowball into a storm of emoness. But how can we use Status Updates to get what you want? I am sure most of you have worked this out, but I have a little extra method I use to get what I want. Here it is:
Pick something you want
I got lonely during the early summer of 2007. I wanted a lady-friend for all the reasons guys want lady-friends. I was focusing on how lonely I was, until I realized this was counter-productive. So I wrote a nice list in present tense about the girlfriend I didn't have (eg: I love my girlfriend cos she has good taste in music etc) and kept good thought about it. This will work for anything, so I suggest you do it RIGHT NOW. But besides this, I did something else.
Find your mantra
Imagine you already have what you want. Picture the feeling and hold on to it. What would your status update be? It wouldn't be "so-and-so is lonely or depressed" would it? It would be something like "so-and-so is SO FUCKING HAPPY EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT" wouldn't it? Seriously, if you had what you wanted right now, what would your status be??
Mine was " Jared Woods was only waiting for this moment to arrive" which was a Beatles lyric from BlackBird. I know that if I had my girlfriend, that would be my status update. Besides this, every time I felt lonely, I would sing that song (or John Lennon's Real Love) to myself and it would snap me back to the feeling of love and fulfillment. Seriously. If you had what you wanted. Right now. What would be your Status Update? Find your mantra.
Focus Focus Focus
Once a day (no more, no less) imagine typing your mantra into your status update. Don't obsess over it, just spend 5 minutes a day imagining the feeling of having what you want and typing that uber-amazing update. Feels good, no? Then go on with your life avoiding bad thought.
2 weeks after I wrote my list and picked my mantra, I got a girlfriend, no jokes. One Holly Quayle. Yeah, ok, so it didn't turn into the fairy tale we all want, but I don't regret a second I spent with this girl and I am soooo grateful for what we had. I wouldn't change it for the world, and what is important is that I got to do it. The feeling of satisfaction of when I typed " Jared Woods was only waiting for this moment to arrive" was epic. So whether you want "so-and-so got the car!" or "so-and-so loves my new puppy!" have faith that it IS coming, and when you get it, you will type your status for the world to see.
BUT DON'T FORGET that the most POWERFUL tool for the Law of Attraction is GRATITUDE. Be grateful for what it is you have, and you will get more of it, without fail. Be grateful!! Don't focus on what it was your ex did wrong to you, focus on what it is you liked about your ex, and someone with those characteristics WILL manifest in front of your eyes and you will know it in your gut when it does.
Liar Liar One thing that will work even better, but I don't suggest it, is to lie. If you type "so-and-so is so happy I won the lotto" it will manifest faster, but very soon your friends will call your bluff and you will build a representation as a liar. Rather just write down on a piece of paper how happy you are that you have what you want, for personal use. Don't lie to the world, because when confronted about it, you will only reaffirm that you were lying. Just DON'T, for the love of God, EVER write ANYTHING that states that you DON'T have what you want, or that is all that will happen.
Causes and Groups
This is one that people just don't seem to get. It's sad generally, because while you think you might be doing the right thing, and your intentions are in the right place, you may actually become part of the problem.
For example: If you join a cause that is ANTI-DOG FIGHTING with a blatant picture of a mutilated dog, how do you feel? You feel angry. You feel resentful. You feel like you want to go and kill people. These are NEGATIVE feelings. Sure, it's a good cause, but it gives a feeling of resistance and anti-positivety. Now, let’s say there was a cause called HAPPY HOMES FOR ABUSED DOGS with a picture of a bull-terrier frolicking in a field of flowers. How do you feel? You feel joyous. You feel inspired. You feel like there are good people in the world and you focus on them. This is EXACLTY the same cause, yet one gives a feeling of suffering while the other gives the feeling of well-being.
Also be reminded that the VERY reason why people use horrific pictures in their causes is to stir negative emotions in you. It shocks you into wanting to participate, but that is never a good thing. Looking at a dog with its face torn off might make you want to do something, but you'll want to do it out of pure hatred. This is never good for anyone, it is infact bad for your inner-self and the entire problem.
Another example would be a group I think we are all part of. "Feed a Child with just One Click". This is a great group with a powerful message. The title is great, it's positive, who wouldn't want to feed a child? You feel good. But then there is a picture of a child starving and dying. What good does that do? It guilt trips you. It makes you feel shitty and shocks you into action. This is not the way. I suggest looking at pictures of these children eating. Read stories about kids who have come from poverty to riches. By giving your energy positively, you will manifest great things into the world. By giving your energy negatively, you actually just cause more turmoil within yourself and the universe. There are millions of great happy inspiring stories to read, which never make the news.
So in summary, if you hate Zuma, don't join the ANTI-ZUMA cause, this is still giving power to ZUMA. Instead, focus your energy on the opposition. Don't be ANTI-RAPE, be PRO-SAFETY FOR WOMEN. Don't be ANTI-ESKOM, be PRO-POWER FOR PEOPLE. It is the same cause, except one stirs negativity and the other stirs positivity.
PLEASE BE AWARE OF THIS. If the whole world was ANTI-WAR, it would be a WAR ON WAR, which is just a mess of anger and resentment. If everyone in the world was PRO-PEACE, it is exactly what you want. If you don't like something, don't fight it. Rather find the opposite of it, and support it. This simple change takes no effort and yet will give you a good feeling rather than a bad feeling, and still intends the same outcome.
Relationship Status
As I type this, I am Single. My Relationship Status is set accordingly. The reason is because I want people to know I am single. I am cool with it, I am putting it out there. I see I am single and I go "yeah, opportunity!"
But if you are single and you don't want to be, remove this IMMEDIATELY. If you are lonely, you do not need to be reminded of this every time you look at your page. There is no shame in leaving this blank, a lot of people do it, and if you are sick of it, just remove it.
On the same page, if you and your partner are in a relationship and "it's complicated" you are making it very difficult to ever get out of that rut. Who needs to look at their relationship and everyday reaffirm that it is complicated? Plus, the whole world knows it. Unless you are comfortable with this, speak to your partner and either be in a relationship or don't. This is down to personal preference, but in my experience, nobody in the world likes to be in a complicated situation. Your profile is sacred, it's your space, remove ANYTHING that keeps it from being anything but a celebration of yourself and your awesomeness.
Profile Pic
Remember that your profile picture is your representation. Every time you write on someone’s wall, that is what they will associate with you. So as most of you do, pick your favorite photo. Don't be ashamed to use the one that makes you look good. Even better, choose one that makes people laugh. Spread the joy! And if you have BDD, use a picture that makes you happy. Don't use a photo of something you hate or a negative message like "FUCK THE WORLD". What good does that do? It makes you look like a morbid sad bastard, and that's what people will think of you.
Recently a picture surfaced of me licking a fake penis while dressed in a bunny-suit. My immediate reaction was "oh hell no, I don't want anyone to see that!" And from that I decided that to set it as my profile pic was not only funny, but showed I was ok with it. And I was! It turned an awkward feeling into a feeling of acceptance and humor, and that's the kind of thing we should all do more of. Make a joke of yourself, enjoy laughing at your drunkerdness, and the world will appreciate you for it.
Stalking
Just don't do it. We all know people (generally people we once loved) who you just HAVE to know what they are up to. And low-and-behold, when you look at their page, you feel shit. Recognize who these people are, people you want to know stuff about and then regret it when you do. Fight the urge, do not stalk people who make you feel jealous/lonely/depressed. Let it be.
I suggest scrolling to the bottom of your home page, and clicking on the "Options for Top Stories". Here you can set which friends you want to know more or less about. I have a nice list of people who don't appear on my Mini-Feed. If an ex girlfriend of mine gets into a new relationship, I wont know about it. You may THINK you want to know, but you don't. And if the said person writes on your wall, don't go to their page to reply. Click "Wall-to-Wall" and reply from there. That way you stay out of their business and you don't know what would otherwise ruin your day. Ignorance is Bliss may seem like a stupid option, but you just have to ask yourself: do you want to be happy? Or not?
Notes and Posted Items
As far as emo poetry goes, I am in two minds. Something good has to be said about taking a negative emotion and turning it into something creative and productive. I only have suggestions. If you are going to write emo poetry, try mix a little humor into it, or try give it a good ending. If this is impossible, I do see the value in writing it down and then NEVER reading it again. However, if you like your work and want your friends to read and comment, be prepared to have to relive the experience and most likely manifest more of what you don't want. That said, some of my favorite writers come from places of complete darkness, and so from an artistic point of view, I can't tell you how to do this, just be aware.
But if you are going to write a note about how shit things are, I think a good idea would be to counter it once in a while with a note about stuff you are grateful for. The same goes for posted items. People seem to love to post links to news items about the horrible things about their country or lives. Why do this? I don't even watch the news anymore because we are always bombarded with negativity. Now people say to me "well, it's good to be informed". But how informed are you if you are focusing on the bad? There are so many good things out their, and yet the so-called "informed" only look at one side of the story. If you must post items that interest you of a depressing nature, please balance it out with a good news article once in a while. It won’t hurt to do this, and even more so, the more good news you look for, the more you will find.
Conclusion
There are two main reasons I wrote this note. The first is obviously because I am hoping someone might actually read it and get something from it. They might see a few things they were doing wrong, and change them to enhance their lives for the better. If I could get one person to rethink the use of facebook as a tool to getting what they want in life, I have done something which makes the world a better place.
But the main reason is for myself. When I focus on the Law of Attraction itself, wonderful things start to happen. By following these guidelines, I have taken a social-networking site into a gateway of creation. And even though it took hours to write, I have come out of it more sure than ever. Be aware of your feelings, and your feelings will tell you everything you need to know. Keep good thought and the people around you will respond with an equally inspiring vibe. I know this to be true, and I hope somebody has learned something.
Now go away.
Originally written: 27/04/08
Hi! This note was thrown together in a very short time, and although I worked really hard on it, it is not perfect. The reason why I say this is because I don’t claim to have the albums with the greatest artwork in the world. There are so many great covers out there that represent the music behind them in such original ways, and so many lists put together by critics, that I would never pretend to have all the answers. That is why I was careful to clearly state that these are my 30 Favourite Album Artworks I Own. All this means is that I looked through my (beautiful pride and joy of a) collection and narrowed it down to the 30 works you see here.
And I know that the three or so people reading this will go “well, who gives a fuck?”
Me! I give a fuck! I think 90% of people on facebook write notes for themselves above and beyond anyone else, so :P However, if you like music or if you scroll down the list and see an entry that looks interesting or you recognize, read it! You may actually learn something...
ALSO NOTE: If you can't see the cover's too well in this note... google it! Or wiki it! It'll be worth it, trust me. Ok, here goes something:
30. Patti Smith - Horses (1975)
Credit: Robert Mapplethorpe
Simple yet effective using natural lighting, the record label wanted to make many changes to the image, including airbrushing out Patti's moustache, which she refused. This reflects the punk-rock attitude of the entire album, which you have to hear to fully understand the “fuck-you” approach Patti Smith had, the “Godmother of Punk”. Notice the horse pin on her blazer. Most definitely a classic.
29. Dry Kill Logic - The Darker Side of Nonsense (2001)
Credit: The Collective
I hang my head in shame whenever I look over my collection and see it's diseased by late 90's/early 00's Nu Metal, but I refuse to let that deter from how cool some of the artwork was from this era. And in all fairness, Dry Kill Logic aren't bad per say, just not very... good. And while the music is far from nonsensical (instead rather quite ordinary) the title and the cover are matches made in heaven. To prove my point, and this is very important, this is the ONLY album I have EVER purchased in MY LIFE based on the cover art alone. I hadn't heard a damn thing, but the image on the shelf just begged to be bought. This is risky, but at the time, I wasn't dissapointed. Regardless of what I think now, it is quite amazing that one can be hypnotized to the point of spending R100+ (as it was in those days) for a small square picture. It achieved what every album cover attempts to achieve, and for that I will always recognize those disfigured characters as being quite remarkable.
28. The Deftones - Saturday Night Wrist (2006)
Credit: Frank Maddocks
Deftones covers are dodgy at best, and generally, I find them very unappealing. But their latest album (and most recent released album on this list) hit the nail on the head. To me, if you had to personify Deftones music, it would be a beautiful female figure. Because it is my experience with beautiful female figures that they bite. And that's what this album does, it's experimental and sound-scapey-ish, like a dream within a dream within a nightmare, which is the same feeling I get when I look at this piece. From what I gather, the images are from the film Roxana, which is about a proto-feminist character who carries out actions of prostitution for her own ends of freedom. So thats nice.
27. Pantera - Vulgar Display of Power (1992)
Credit: Bob Defrin
It's not visually appealing, but gets the message across loud and clear, as Pantera do. I remember a story (that unfortunately I can't find to reference) that the poor guy getting smacked up did it for $10 - $100 a pop, and got the fist in his face many many times (my faulty memory recalls numbers as high as 30) to get the perfect shot. He was a fan and was honoured to get his faced pummeled for Pantera. Apparently the fist you see is Phil Anselmo's, the singer. Like the cover, there are no pretty moments in the music itself either.
26. Norma Jean - Bless the Martyr and Kiss the Child (2002)
Credit: Asterik Studios
I love this album. The sound, the rawness, the song names, the title all work as an original unit, and yes, the cover plays a big role of it. It's just one of those pictures that leap at you. The yellow colouring is what makes it, so eery, a little kid with a sadistic smile, something that could easily be passed for a satanic death metal band even though Norma Jean are Christians to the 'core. The old-school feel is all over the album and is a nice achievement for something that was fairly low-budget. Sadly, this was the only album of theirs to feature singer Josh Scogin, who left to form The Chariot who never got as good as this, but still beat the fairly-common metalcore sound Norma Jean became.
25. The Pixies - Doolittle (1989)
Credit: Simon Larbalestier and Vaughan Oliver
Great references to all the lyrics is what makes this a great visual representation. "Gouge Away" is interpreted as a spoon with hair in it, the bell with teeth in it is a reference to the line "it shakes my teeth". And, ofcourse, the monkey on the cover with the numbers (if man is) 5, (and the devil is) 6, and (then God is) 7 goes hand-in-hand with "Monkey Gone to Heaven". Coincidentally, the monkey with the halo is the reason why Frank Black chose to change the album's name from the original idea: "Whore". He said it would seem too "anti-Catholic". Yeah, maybe.
24. Otep - Sevas Tra (2002)
Credit: P.R. Brown and Wendy Dougan
Wow, this band came and went. No matter, this is not a note about the music, and while Otep bore me to tears, this is a damn cool cover. It's great cos it features the whole band on it without becoming cliché, I mean, there we have the lead singer INSIDE the fkn belly of the Shiva type monster. Plus the whole thing is cardboard that folds out into other interesting pieces with a little hand written booklet stashed inside. And I guess when you name your album "Art Saves" backwards, you gotta put your money where your mouth is.
23. Nirvana - In Utero (1993)
Credit: Robert Fisher & Kurt Cobain
Although not as controversial as Nevermind, In Utero was still quite out there. Featuring a transparent anatomical manikin with angel wings (also used on the tour) on the front cover, this was just the front. The back was piece Kurt called "Sex and woman and In Utero and vaginas and birth and death", which includes fetuses and body parts lying in a bed of orchids and lilies. The cd itself was a photo of Frances Bean's nanny, a cross-dresser. Not to mention the album's original title was "I Hate Myself & I Want to Die", so it was pretty pushing. Go Kurt go!
22. Paul McCartney & Wings - Band on the Run (1973)
Credit: [Unknown]
Not only unarguably one of the best post-Beatles solo projects, the cover is very noteworthy. It features the Wings members plus six other celebrities including Liverpool's World Light-Heavyweight boxing champion John Conteh and Hollywood actor Christopher Lee (you may remember him as Saruman in Lord of the Rings) all dressed as convicts caught in the spot-light of the prison search. It was parodied for the Dreamworks animated film Madagascar.
21. The Prodigy - Music for the Jilted Generation
(1994) Credit: Stuart Haygarth
It's difficult to find any special facts or even any information at all about this cover, but I guess that makes it all the more special. That is to say, there is no gimmick here, no fancy bullshit, it's just a really cool picture that makes you want to hear the album, I mean, just look at it! It's appealing as fuck. Definitely the best artwork for any release by this band.
20. The Smashing Pumpkins - Machina/The Machines of God (2000)
Credit: Vasily Kafanov
Just looking at this cover does not do the album justice whatsoever. But looking through the booklet itself which looks worn, burnt and even includes a coffee stain represents this album perfectly. It has been said that the artwork loosely explains the concept of the album, which I find very confusing, but it is said to be heavily symbolic, and wikipedia points out that it references themes of alchemy, chemistry, metallurgy, physics, medicine, astrology, semiotics, mysticism, spiritualism, and art. It's all very medieval looking and was nominated for the Best Packaging Award at the Grammy's. I like it, ehyuk.
19. Joanna Newsom - Ys (2006)
Credit: Benjamin A. Vierling
The reason why I am so fond of this cover is that when I look at it, I hear the music. It looks like a book, it reads like a book, it sounds like a book, it's pretty much a book. It's filled with amazing lyrics telling stories of mythical creatures in a folklore manner which has wooed almost every critic under the sun. Even it's title is a reference to the mythical city of the same name, built in the Douarnenez bay, and then swallowed by the ocean. It's a modern day epic lullaby, a full package of perfection and some parts are even raised so that you can physically feel the picture's outlines. As a whole, this album restored much faith into modern music for me, it's magical, and if you suddenly feel frustrated that you haven't hear it... you should.
18. KoЯn - Follow the Leader (1998)
Credit: Todd McFarlane
Todd McFarlane is the shit. One of my favourite comic book characters of all time is Spawn, who was created by this man. And his toys are well beyond the line of duty (http://www.spawn.com). So despite this album almost single handedly creating the Nu Metal plague of 1999, it is solid, and the cover work is just oh-so stylish. So stylish, in fact, that the hit single "Freak on a Leash" was inspired by it, and Todd animated the scene to life in front of our very eyes. And then it won the Best Short Form Music Video Grammy of 2000, which at the time was huge thing for any Metal Sub-Genre band to achieve.
17. The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium (2003)
Credit: Storm Thorgerson
The Mars Volta always rock the party with their artwork. And you know you can trust Storm Thorgerson as his name appears on this list a few times as himself and as a part of the Hipgnosis team. And besides being a massively-innovative debut album from one of the most talented bands on our planet, this cover is a great image to symbolize one falling into a coma and getting lost in a world within your head, which is exactly what this album is about. I don't feel like going into that again, but if you are interested, read my note on concept albums to see what it's all about. Or alternatively, just look at the cover, because even the densest of admirers can say "duh, that looks nice".
16. A Perfect Circle - Thirteenth Step (2003)
Credit: Dean Karr
I was excited enough about this release after owning their debut for a while, but when I saw the cover, it just jumped at me. It's beautiful in an unorthodox way, and really clicks with the music itself. I speculate (although it is possible that I am wrong) that the model's name is Tanya and she is the same women scrounging around in the dirt collecting insects in the fantastic video for "Weak and Powerless". Simple but so effective, a part of this perfect album. I suggest looking up Dean Karr himself, his work is stunning and has made covers for Marilyn Manson, Iron Maiden, The Goo Goo Dolls, Chris Rock and so many more, as well as music video's for Cypress Hill, Billy Talent, Queens of the StoneAge and home-grown boys Seether.
15. Cradle of FIlth - Cruelty and the Beast (1998)
Credit: MEZ
Cradle of Filth always ROCK with their covers. That is, of course, if you are into hot chicks being mutilated with religious symbols everywhere. This specific cover might make you roll your eyes, thinking it is just another pointless attempt to shock people, and you may be right. Except for the fact that what you are looking at ACTUALLY HAPPENED. That lady in the bath of blood is playing the role of Elizabeth Bathroy, a countess who believed that the blood of virgins kept her young. She did horrible things to these kiddies, and yes, one of them was bathing in their blood. If you want to know more, look at my note on concept albums, or go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_B%C3%A1thory . The point is that, yes, it IS shocking, she IS hot, and it feels like you WANT to be turned on but something inside of you just won't allow you to be. This all coupled with it being an awesome album with a true story, gives this entry and artwork that little extra "yeah".
14. Muse - Black Holes & Revelations (2006)
Credit: Storm Thorgerson
At first glance it may no seem like anything special, but allow me to enlighten you. The red surface of the shot is supposed to be the planet Mars, specifically, the area Cydonia (where the famous face on Mars is) and the four men are the Knights of Cydonia, the same name as the 11th track on the (very impressive) album. Matthew Bellamy has also stated that the guys represent the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse mentioned in the Christian Bible, chapter six of the Book of Revelation. He went on to say that "the horses [on the table] are miniature in size to emphasize the fact that the horsemen have outgrown them". Which I think is very smart and much like most of Muse's recent work, very apocalyptic. Storm Thorgerson is a genius and has worked on superb projects for Pink Floyd and The Mars Volta, amoung many others.
13. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991)
Credit: Robert Fisher
There isn't too much I could say about this that you don't already know, as this is one of the most recognizable album covers for undeniably one of the most important alternative albums of the 90's. It's inspiration came when Kurt and Dave Grohl were watching a program on underwater births, and mentioned this to Robert Fisher who went and found some stock photography on the subject. Most of the examples were deemed to graphic by Geffen Records, so they settled on a photo of a baby swimming. However, the company which owned the image was charging $7,500, so instead they got a photographer friend, found three-month-old Spencer Elden and took the photo on their own for a much more reasonable $200. The fishhook/dollar was added later. Ofcourse the label freaked a bit, already preparing versions with the little penis airbrushed out, but Kurt put his foot down, and would only agree to the censorship if the genitalia was covered with a sticker that read "If you're offended by this, you must be a closet paedophile." And ofcourse, today, Spencer Elden has one of the most famous dicks in the world. And I'm sure it's a great pick-up line if there ever was one.
12. Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine (1992)
Credit: Malcolm Browne
As one of the most (if not THE most) politically active bands of the 90's, it is only fitting that Rage Against the Machine's ground-breaking debut album reflected this accordingly. It shows the monk Thích Quung Ðuc protesting President Ngô Ðình Diem's administration for oppressing the Buddhist religion. He did this by pouring 5-gallons of gasoline on himself and setting himself on fire in Saigon in 1963. He never moved, never made a sound, until he burnt to a human crisp. The Buddist clergy made a circle around him, preventing anyone getting to the man. Journalist Malcolm Browne won the 1963 World Press Photo of the Year for this image.
11. Red Hot Chili Peppers - One Hot Minute
(1995) Credit: Mark Ryden
I admit, I am biased about this one, for two reasons. The first is that Mark Ryden is one of my all time favourite artists EVER (look him up, you will adore him the same) even if this isn't his best work. The second is that I own a limited edition version of this album I just so happened to stumble upon, where the girl playing piano ACTUALLY PLAYS THE PIANO. You move it around and she MOVES! It’s nuts, ask me to show you some time. Anyways, it is a widely known fact that this isn't the Chili's best work, but their artwork is often hit or miss for me (Stadium Arcadium cover sucks!) and this is, most definitely, a hit.
10. GlassJAw - Worship and Tribute (2002)
Credit: Mick Haggerty
For those of you looking at this cover for the first time are probably thinking that it looks really shitty and that I have no taste. Not true! The main attraction of this is that you are in fact looking straight through the cover onto the CD, which is shaped like a record. This is not the first album to do this (Superunknown by Soundgaren was almost a decade earlier) and is probably is not the first album to even make use of a see-through cover, but frankly it's the only one I have. What's cool about it is that the record/cd appears to sit on a record player, and when it is opened, the styli and needle appear to rise off the record, allowing you to pluck it off the table. This is all nice and dandy but it would be useless if there wasn't a PC enhanced section on the cd itself with the lyrics, credits and even some video's. Seems some people agree with me as this album was nominated for the Best Album Art Grammy in 2003, but lost to The Dixie Chicks.... What?
09. SlipKnoT - Iowa (2001)
Credit: t42design and M. Shawn Crahan
Maybe it isn't you thing, and maybe this album is regarded as the band's weakest work, but there is no doubt that by the time SlipKnoT's sophomore was ready, they had made enough money for RoadRunner Records to allow them to pretty much do what they wanted. And while I am a big fan of the goat theme itself (an obvious reference to Satanism, eek) that's hardly enough to get it on the list. The real gimmick is the shine, it is almost like a foil where you can literally see yourself behind the goat if you look. The inside is also something to be impressed by, see-through paper with all the lyrics and lots of creepy pictures of the band throughout. And as someone who has seen this band live twice, let me assure you, that there is a scary presence when nine full-grown men tower above you with masks on.
08. Marilyn Manson - Mechanical Animals (1998)
Credit: Joseph Cultice
Where to begin? First of all, this cover caused kak, Wal-Mart wouldn't stock it, and Japan called for it to be edited. Not because Manson had tits mind you, it's because he has 6 fingers on one hand, and Japanese folks don't like deformities. The original image had nipples, but that was edited out because it would be too far (?). But wait, there's more. You can actually remove the cover, reverse it, and you have a brand new cover. That's because the album itself is presented to be written half by Alpha (the lonely alien with boobs) and half by Omega (a glam rockstar addicted to drugs). Further more, and probably the coolest part, is that the casing is a light blue. Within the cover there is illegible yellow and blue text around, and when viewed through the blue cover, the blue text disappears (much like those red and green glasses you had when you were a kid) to reveal additional phrases and lyrics. Another interesting fact Manson revealed is that Johnny Depp currently owns the alien suit.
07. The Beatles - Abbey Road (1969)
Credit: Kosh and Iain MacMillan
This is one of the most famous and perhaps the most imitated covers of all time, which is fitting because to this day this album still gets cited by many critics as "the best album of all time". Released when The Beatles were on the verge of murdering each other, this was their final recorded album and so one of the final shots taken of the whole band together. Still not convinced? How about the fact that it has been parodied by The Shadows, Kanye West, Red Hot Chili Peppers and even Paul McCartney himself? What, you want more? Ok, how about the fact that tourists flock to Abbey Road everyday to mimic the cover themselves almost 40 years after the original shot? Further more, a webcam has even been set-up so you can watch people doing it, over here: http://www.abbeyroad.co.uk/virtual_visit/webcam. Does that do anything for you?
06. Radiohead - Kid A (2000)
Credit: Stanley Donwood and Tchock (Thom Yorke)
Radiohead cover's are... strange. Which, in the case of an album like Kid A, is just perfect. The coolest thing about Radiohead is that the team extends well beyond the 5 members, as they have worked with Nigel Godrich as the producer since before The Bends, and Stanley Donwood as the artwork-man since The Bends. This gives them a great understanding of what it is they are all attempting to achieve. Kid A was a reflection of the war in Kosovo in winter of 1999, made as an oil painting and creating the sharp texture with knives and putty, and then digitally modified and pixilated all over to look like it does. Just open up the fucking thing, pages fold out of nowhere, including weird sketches on tracing paper. Not to mention the hidden-booklet featured in the casing underneath the Cd (UK version only), it's enough to make even the artiest of us go "huh?" If God was an album, he would be Kid A.
05. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon (1974)
Credit: Hipgnosis and George Hardie
There isn't too much to be said about this cover, except that even if you don't know who Pink Floyd are, there is a 99.9% chance you'll recognize it. This is because this album has spent well over 1,500 weeks on the Billboard Top 200 and is the 20th highest selling album of all time. The thought process behind the art isn't clear, but it has become a symbol for the band, even being recreated in recent tours with a 3d light version of itself, which is just fucking beautiful, look here. Not to mention there was NO title on the sleeve which was a bold move for the time.
04. David Bowie - Diamond Dogs (1974)
Credit: Guy Peellaert
You might look at this and say "sure, it looks pretty good, but it's not THAT amazing". Well, that's because you aren't seeing the bigger picture, and I urge you to look here.
and You may notice that David Bowie becomes a man-dog hybrid, flashing you his penis. RCA Records freaked and quickly airbrushed the genitalia out of the gatefold, but a few copies did manage to slip out into circulation making them among the most expensive record collectibles of all time, as high as thousands of US dollars being spent for a single copy. Luckily the progressively desensitized nature of the public means that modern cd issues leave the David-doggie's penis intact. It's also great because the entire album is based on George Orwell's classic novel 1984, one of my favourite books of all time, and so the fun doesn't end at the artwork alone. Then Bowie released "Young Americans" and it sucked.
03. The Beatles - The Beatles [White Album] (1968)
Credit: Richard Hamilton
At first glance, the artwork appears to be extremely bland and perhaps only included because I am a Beatles fanatic. Allow me to change your mind there. First of all, this followed the amazingly detailed "Sgt. Pepper" cover [see below] and was in huge contrast to it. Second of all, the first 5 million copies (or something) were numbered with Serial Numbers, so the first printed would have the number "1" on the cover, the second would have the number "2" and so fourth. Which means if you get number "1" (which Ringo owns), you could make a pretty penny. To give you an example, number 7 is currently (as I type this) for sale on eBay for $9,000. And finally, the cultural impact was massive, it has been parodied by such heavy weight names such as: Metallica; Jay-Z; Weezer; They Might Be Giants and Prince. And of course, it's a fucking good double album if there ever was one, even going so far as to talk Charles Manson into murdering people.
02. Velvet Underground & Nico - Velvet Underground & Nico (1967)
Credit: Andy Warhol
You've seen it before, even if you can't remember where. Designed by one Andy Warhol (maybe you've heard of him) the Cd versions we buy today loose the point a bit. Sure, it's iconic, and much like the music, definitely gives off that "what the fuck" vibe. But the original LP versions are where the magic happened. Look closely at the top of the banana, you will notice the words inviting you to "Peel slowly and see". On the original pressings, that’s what people did, and to their surprise, the banana skin peeled off, revealing a naked unskinned banana. Of course, then rumours started to fly that the sticker was laced with LSD. Which might have been a good idea to boost the terrible initial sales, which took decades to recover, eventually becoming accepted as the classic it deserved to be.
The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
Credit: Peter Blake
This is it. This is THE cover of all covers. Yes, it's The Beatles, ok, I know, try forgetting about that for a second and listen to what I am saying. First of all, The Beatles themselves became a brand new band, the Lonely Hearts Club Band, complete with new names and uniforms, mustaches and... well... LSD. Behind them you will notice a lot of people [I beg you to go and find a larger version to understand], and this is where the fun begins. Included inside the album is the names of each one of those people, meaning you can research and learn about a lot of individuals you knew nothing about. People you may recognize on the cover would be Marilyn Monroe, Oliver Hardy, Aleister Crowley, Edgar Allan Poe, Oscar Wilde, William S. Burroughs, Bob Dylan, Marlon Brando, and yes, even wax models of The Beatles themselves during their mop-top days. Even more impressive is that this was the FIRST EVER album cover to have the lyrics on it, and it even included a cut-out mustache and badge just so you can become your own Sgt Pepper. EMI freaked out because at the time it was about 100 times more expensive than any other cover ever made at £2868, which even in these days is a pretty disgusting amount of cash. It paid off tho, as this album and it's cover paved way for many album's to come. It was so good in fact, that it sent Beach Boy Brian Wilson into a deep depression because he felt he just could not compete with The Beatles anymore. The artwork won the Grammy for Best Album Cover in 1967, as well as winning the Album of the Year and Best Engineered Album among many others. Rolling Stone magazine did a massive article recently on the top 100 album covers ever, this was number 1. Similarly, the magazine ran an article on the best 500 albums ever, and this was, once again, number 1. It is safe to say that everything about this album changed music forever, even studio's around the world had to learn new stuff just from what was achieved on this album. And of course, the artwork has been parodied by such names as Frank Zappa, Devendra Banhart, Pearl Jam, and even The Simpsons, despite it's complexity. In my opinion, the greatest album ever made, by the greatest band that ever lived, The Beatles, amen.
And that's it, please leave comments to tell me how wrong I am, how right I am, or what your favourite album cover is, because it turns me on. Thanks for reading!
HONORABLE ALBUMS I DON'T OWN but would've included:
Tool - 10,000 Days
The Rolling Stones - Sticky Fingers (its got a freaking zip on it!)
The Cars - Candy-O
Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking
Carly Simon - Playing Possum
Frank Zappa - Weasels Ripped My Flesh
Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin
Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation
Panda Bear - Person Pitch
Ohio Players - Honey
