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Wednesday 30 March 2016

The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s

The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s

The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 11. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed

11. The Rolling Stones - Let It Bleed (1969)

Blues Rock
Spotify


The Rolling Stones were always the poster boys for bad behaviour, marketed as some sort of anti-Beatles, even stalking and antithesising every Lennon/McCartney creative footprint they could stomach (this album title standing as one prime example). However, it was arguably round about Let It Bleed that the Stones came to embrace their own particular type of expression, the album in question considered a daringly tacky and erotic affair, wearing its sloppy grit and wicked smile with pride between licks of energetic country and the hardest of all blues, sandwiched between two of the most important songs of their career. They developed an oblivion to the compassion and liberation that the 1960s were renowned for, much rather concerned over how many narcotics and sexual partners one could withstand before blowing a fuse—which, as it turns out, wasn’t much more. Shortly after these sessions, founding member Brian Jones drowned to death, sadly leaving his final legacy on this very record. That said, it was still decent enough way to go, shaking hands farewell with the decade by kicking psychedelia out of the van, and setting up the 70s for a dirtier, rockier, and even more excessively debaucherous era. Which, as we already know, it most definitely turned out to be.

Selected Accolades:
Reaching #1 in the UK charts, (temporarily) knocking The Beatles - Abbey Road off the top spot.
#28 in Q’s list The 100 Greatest British Albums Ever.
#24 in VH1’s survey The 100 Greatest Albums of R 'n' R.
#32 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.
#27 in Guardian’s list The Best Albums Ever.


The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 10. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

10. The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds (1966)

Baroque Pop
Spotify


I’ve always found myself wobbling precariously on the fence when it came to Pet Sounds, many a time declaring the work to be inexcusably overrated, especially in context of how it is so often eulogised as the best record in history. However, I must humbly appreciate my opinion as a minute crumb in the greater musical loaf, and it would be far too naive of anyone to ignore the grand scale of influence these tracks had on just about everything that followed. Furthermore, it’s actually very easy to validate the reasons as to why said influence exists. The impenetrably colossal wall-of-sound production. The thick layering and pedantic detailing of every harmony and instrument imaginable to man (including such unorthodox choices as dog whistles, bicycle bells, and the first ever rock recording of a theremin, performed by the inventor himself). The optimistic almost hymnal compositions which were as pacifying and carefree as they were progressive and complex. And the freshly rewritten blueprint of how to manufacture sound from this point onward, the ultimate testament to Brian Wilson’s genius, acknowledged as the sole brain behind the operation. All of which congregates as one irrefutably 60s landmark classic, no matter what any of us like to think we know.

Selected Accolades:
Deemed The Greatest Album of All Time by Uncut.
Deemed The Greatest Album of All Time by Mojo.
Deemed The Greatest Album of All Time by NME.
Deemed The Greatest Album of All Time by The Times.
Deemed The Greatest Album of All Time by over 100 domestic and international publications and journalists.
Inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame.
Included in the National Recording Registry (2004).



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 09. The Kinks - The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

09. The Kinks - The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)

Pop Rock
Spotify


I feel unbearable sympathy for The Kinks. Perhaps now they are rightfully recognised as one of the most influential groups from the 60s, but at the time they did not receive the full accolade they deserved. For example: they were forever compared to their larger counterparts, frequently insulted as yet another poor Beatles copy; they were on the frontline of the mid-60s British Invasion, until the American Federation of Musicians cut off their permits, severing their connection to the front page of the history papers; and worst of all, they never got their bonafide 'classic' album, this specific record coming frustratingly close due to the universally vibrant critical acclaim, yet failing to chart completely. What a tragedy. For the Village Green is one of the warmest, most unpretentious albums the decade had on offer, basking in the nostalgia of a childhood spent fondly in the English summer, running around nature, making friends with animals, and keeping the old-fashioned traditions alive. Bless! Thankfully, the cult following eventually did break through somewhat, with Pete Townshend of The Who even once stating that this was singer Ray Davies’ “masterwork. It's his Sgt. Pepper”, which I guess as far as Beatles comparisons go, is about as good as you gonna get.

Selected Accolades:
#255 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 08. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

08. The Jimi Hendrix Experience - Are You Experienced (1967)

Psychedelic Blues Acid Rock
Spotify


It’s almost an indication of tastelessness to regard Jimi as the ‘greatest guitarist who ever lived’ but where there's smoke, there's fire, more than likely exploding from the centre pickups and warping the strings above. Because while Hendrix’s vocals are competent enough and do the job, and while his songwriting ability erupts with a uniquely rich creativity, his soul opted to communicate primarily through his guitarwork, effortlessly flexing a sexual magic which transcended beyond us mere mortals, playing God with fingers so casual and a spirit so free that no one would dare put forward an example of a guitarist more iconic and influential. And while one cannot disregard all three of the immensely worshipped records this outfit produced in their short career, it will always be this oft celebrated ‘greatest debut album of all time’ which truly slayed the history books, preserving its cool whilst rocking so dangerously raw that it is a universally acclaimed definitive album of what made the 60s so groovy and significant. So what if it’s a safe choice? Next time the topic of conversation enters the room, do not feed the debate. Just let the riffs do the talking.

Selected Accolades:
Deemed The Greatest Guitar Album of All Time by Mojo.
#3 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the Greatest Debut Albums of All Time.
#15 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.
Included in the National Recording Registry (2005).



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 07. The Doors - The Doors
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

07. The Doors - The Doors (1967)

Psychedelic Rock
Spotify


During the 1960s, it appeared as though there were two distinct directions in which the excessive peace-and-love-and-LSD-consumption counterculture was headed. The one direction was the all-colourful all-mellow types, happy to roll in the flowers and smoke weed without any compulsion to do anything else but fuck. However, at the opposite side of the spectrum, we had those who utilised the sudden influx of chemicals to explore and expand deeper regions of their consciousness, disinterested in a tye-dye movement, rather more turned-on by an introspection which questioned absolutely everything. And just in case you hadn't worked it out by now, The Doors were proud members of the latter. By meshing playful keys with bluesy-infused guitar licks, figurehead Jim Morrison had found a home to report his dark poetic findings from, words which he delivered outward from his prophetic presence, stirred together with a sex appeal crawling out from his every pore and into little girls' panties. A charisma such as this did not take a long time to induce a stupor into stoners around the globe, as they followed this Lizard King’s messianic breakdowns wherever they would take them, in awe of these divine performances which ran through the band’s catalogue right to the very end. However, it is their debut which has stood the strongest, forcefully progressing psychedelica unintentionally by proxy, and often considered the defining psychedelic rock album in history for good reason.

Selected Accolades:
Sold 20 million copies.
Deemed The Essential Album of 1967 by Rolling Stone magazine.
#226 in NME's 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.
#75 in Q magazine's 100 Greatest Albums Ever.
#42 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time.
Inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame.
Included in the National Recording Registry (2015).



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 06. Frank Zappa - We're Only in It for the Money
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

06. Frank Zappa - We're Only in It for the Money (1968)

Experimental Rock, Satire
Spotify


Unlike most artists embracing the sudden perception shift of our youth in the 60s, the cynical Frank Zappa felt disgusted by a movement he considered disingenuous. He criticised all the drugs and free love as dangerous tools for self-gratification, and felt the stupid hippies were obliviously following drum circles under the illusion that they were part of some sort of a bigger awakening—which was probably relatively accurate. Inspired by his own repulsion, Zappa fought the counterculture with this counter-counterculture record, which condescendingly stressed all the dark holes in these dropout theories, yet cleverly hid them beneath his signature humour and manic genre-hopping, presenting one ridiculously serious offering which was as hilarious as it was kinda depressing within its satirical honesty. Interestingly enough, this resistance somehow resulted in a surprisingly decent psychedelic record itself—perhaps not the highest praised in the Zappa catalogue, but definitely one of his smartest in the most self righteous of manners. It has continuously stood as an unforgiving mirror held up to those grubby flower children, exposing the sloppy side of the 60s which is so often candycoated by the nostalgia of colourful petals and pot smoking, and while it may be an overlooked classic, it is still an essential musical representation of the era, deserving as much praise as anything else on this list.

Selected Accolades:
#77 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the Top 100 Best Albums of the Last Twenty Years.
#297 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time.
Included in the National Recording Registry (2005).



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 05. Nico - Chelsea Girl
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

05. Nico - Chelsea Girl (1967)

Chamber Folk
Spotify


If there was ever any evidence towards the incestous essence of the 60s, Nico could very well be the personified centrepoint of the whole operation, having been romantically linked to such major players as Iggy Pop, Leonard Cohen, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Andy Warhol, Brian Jones, John Cale, and of course, Lou Reed. Even here on Chelsea Girl, our German Warhol superstar’s debut, we not only find members from The Velvet Underground scattered throughout the performances, but are even granted the superb I'll Keep It With Mine, an unreleased Bob Dylan arrangement which he gifted to Nico when he struggled to record a decent version himself. However, do not allow these external contributions to mislead you, for this album is Nico’s alone, her partial deafness delivering a uniquely damaged colourless presentation, whilst her threatening heroin addiction conjures up a stark mood so freezing and isolated that even her brief pursuits in optimism are suffocated by a fog of sadness. Reportedly, Nico despised the final product, shedding tears “all because of the flute”, but for many others, this album is one of the most criminally overlooked and underrated releases of the whole decade, no matter how depressingly dreary it may be.

Selected Accolades:
none, annoyingly.



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 04. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

04. Bob Dylan - Highway 61 Revisited (1965)

Folk Rock
Spotify


After returning home from his lengthy England tour, Bob was exhausted. His own material made him sick to his stomach, and he openly considered quitting the whole scene, stating "it's very tiring having other people tell you how much they dig you if you yourself don't dig you." However, rather than succumbing to this lethargy, he channeled his frustration into writing, quickly spitting out the classic Like a Rolling Stone in one sitting, which successfully kick-started the momentum of what would become Highway 61 Revisited. The album itself was heavily built around a band approach rather than the usual folky acoustic songwriting Dylan was known for, and while his monotone slurs still tunelessly tumbled out profoundly poetic lines, there was a stronger sense of surreal cynicism this round, a certain bluesy bitterness which was such a large departure from his tried-and-tested successes that his label were reluctantly nervous to approve of it. No worries there, Columbia Records, as Highway 61 Revisited has been perpetually worshipped as a revolutionary record from then until now, author Michael Gray even once describing it as the point where the 1960s "started"—which I’m not sure anyone can prove, but is still a great compliment for an undoubtedly vital landmark all the same.

Selected Accolades:
Peaked at number four on the UK album chart.
Peaked at number three on the US Billboard 200 chart of top albums.
Deemed The Best Album of All Time by The Best 100 Albums of All Time book.
#4 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time.



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 03. The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

03. The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)

Psychedelic Pop Rock
Spotify


When it comes to the 60's Summer of Love, I (like most) prefer to imagine the time as a wonderfully far-out scene, bursting with bright colours streaming from cheerful hippies' dance moves, unified under the sunshine, while light hearts overflowed from love and drugs and misguided amusement. And if there ever was one album overused as the representation for what made this era so explosive, it would be Sgt. Pepper, the quote unquote “greatest record ever”, from the world’s “greatest band ever”. But while many a Beatlemaniac’s tastebuds will vary (including mine), there is still no doubt that this record truly wiped all surrounding music clean, by working the studio like an instrument itself, pushing the experimentation to the limits of technology, stuffing all corners with assorted genres, and spending equal attention to the concepts and presentation as they did to the music, until they accidentally birthed art-rock, oops. And really, what else could you possibly want? One of the first concept albums ever made? The first to have the lyrics in the sleeve? The first hidden track? The first seamless song ordering? The most influential, iconic, revolutionary, and inventive album in history? So ingenious, in fact, that it sent Brian Wilson into madness? Because, yeah, it did all of that. You should know this by now.

Selected Accolades:
Spent 27 weeks in the UK charts and 15 weeks in the US charts at #1.
Stayed on the US Billboard 200 chart for 175 non-consecutive weeks until 1987.
Deemed The Greatest Album Of All Time by Rolling Stone magazine.
Deemed "the most important and influential rock and roll album ever recorded" by the Oxford Encyclopedia of British Literature.
Sold more than 30 million copies worldwide, making it one of the highest-selling albums of all time.
At the 10th Annual Grammy Awards (1968), won Best Album Cover, Graphic Arts, Best Engineered Recording, and Best Contemporary Album, as well as the first ever rock LP to win Album of the Year.
Included in the National Recording Registry (2003).



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 02. Love - Forever Changes
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

02. Love - Forever Changes (1967)

Psychedelic Folk Rock Pop
Spotify


And this is it: the most authentic and self aware representation of what the 60s were genuinely like from the inside. For on the surface, Forever Changes is a classic happy-go-lucky psychedelic record, bringing the stereotypical visions of peace signs and weed leaves, hovering above the youth who passively resisted the drag of our system by doing absolutely nothing at all, maaan, duuude, woooaaah. But in the midst of all this drowsy idealism, the setting stank of body odour, caused by the unwashed armpits, knotty hair, and copious amounts of drugs which had turned inwards and left so many lost within the movement, paranoid and isolated, plagued by the feeling that at any moment something was about to go horrifically wrong. It was the ugly side of the blissful freedom, where the disorientation of an aimless intoxication had begun to alienate its users, their meaningless smiles disturbed by a faint glimmer of fear in their eyes, rambling just to keep themselves company. Such a refreshingly honest (and scary) reflection is one of the most timeless musical experiences I’ve ever greeted, preserved by its layers of clever instrumentation, self-serving harmonies, and a shiny wad of phlegm crystallising on your favourite pair of corduroys. Jesus, Bummer in the Summer is right.

Selected Accolades:
#2 in Mojo’s list of the Greatest Psychedelic Albums Of All Time.
#82 in Q magazine's reader selected list of the Greatest Albums Of All Time.
#40 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time.
#11 in Mojo’s reader selected list of the 100 Greatest Albums Ever Made.
#6 in NME magazine's list of the Greatest Albums Of All Time.
Included in the National Recording Registry (2012).



The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s: 01. The Velvet Underground and Nico
I OWN THIS ALREADY :)

01. The Velvet Underground & Nico - The Velvet Underground & Nico (1967)

Experimental Art Rock
Spotify


By arming themselves with Andy Warhol as the producer/artwork designer and Nico as the driest of all guest vocalists, The Velvet Underground’s debut was destined for success. They recorded it in less than a week, and pushed the boundaries of lo-fi dissonance by exploring such taboo topics as drug abuse, prostitution, and sadomasochism—which is a flawless recipe which simply could not fail. Except to say, it did. Radio refused to play the album, magazines refused to advertise it, and it was considered a financial flop for reasons that seem so obvious now. In the thick of the multicoloured kaleidoscopic 60s generation, simply nobody was ready for the world’s first dope-sick album, one determined to self-destruct by gouging itself onto the dirtiest of needles and lying in a pool of its own waste, waiting to die. However, while it may have only sold 30,000 copies initially, Brian Eno once famously pointed out that "everyone who bought [a copy] started a band,” and so who cares if it took over a decade for anyone to notice? Because they eventually fucking noticed, the record now considered one of the most influential releases ever, as well as inarguably the most darkest in history. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the hideous side of the 1960s. It’s my favourite.

Selected Accolades:
Included in Spin magazine's list of the Top Fifteen Most Influential Albums of All Time.
#42 in Q magazine's reader selected list of the Greatest Albums Of All Time.
#22 in HMV Group, Channel 4, The Guardian and Classic FM’s collaborative poll of the Greatest Albums Of All Time.
#13 in Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time.
Deemed The Album That Changed Music The Most by The Observer.
Included in the National Recording Registry (2006).



But wait, there's more!

The Top 10 Albums Of The 60s



Monday 14 March 2016

In Defence of Rebecca Black’s Friday

In Defence of Rebecca Black’s Friday

“The Worst Song Ever Written”

When it comes to Friday, I am sure the above header was how most of us were introduced to the thing—it may as well have been the fucking title of the song, really. But while I’m sure your own personal experience with this tune still stands strong in your memory, can you believe that it was five years ago to this very day that this track was officially released? It doesn’t feel that way to me, half a decade pissing by since this viral hype smacked us in the face with all the anticipation in the world. Oh my God, could this finally be it? Could my social feeds be telling the truth? Have we as a population, beyond all reasonable doubt, discovered the authoritative worst song ever written in the history of mankind?? I’ve waited for so long!

Eagerly, I wasted no time by jumping onto my local YouTube just like the 160+ million other people around the globe, and nearly broke my index finger trying to locate this song with such a glorious reputation. I found it, pressed play, and then... I was completely disappointed. What was this? Was this it? This was not the worst song in the world? I felt robbed. I had heard worse songs. I had heard hundreds of them.

I scoffed and closed the tab in sadness, but it was futile. No matter what I did, I could not dodge the momentum. I don’t know how well you guys recall the whole affair, but Friday was pretty much the biggest song of 2011, inescapable in its power, fuelled exclusively by a hysteria of hatred and viciousness from the brains of anonymous kids hiding in the comment section. Which, as it turned out, was its greatest advantage, as the longer it lingered, the more I warmed up to its presence, eventually becoming fascinated by its buzz—less to do with the music or the lyrics, mind you, but rather the complete automated attack stance the internet took whenever the name was mentioned. And before I knew it, I was there with my own weapons, defending a song more furiously than I would even for the classics.

This went on for a while until I decided the only way to properly express my sentiment was to write this very blog piece, which I had pretty much completed way back then in 2011. However, I decided not to release it all that time ago because I realised I didn’t actually care as much as I thought did, and should probably spend my time writing better things, promptly banishing it to the depths of my Google drive, forever.

Except, obviously not forever, because here it is. I can’t explain why I felt compelled to edit, update, and release this blog on the song's fifth anniversary, but it’s too late now, which sucks, because I’m actually really busy. Whatever, this one's for Rebecca Black, and for Friday, and for the worst song in the world, which isn’t actually the worst song in the world whatsoever, as I am hopefully about to accurately illustrate right now.

In Defence of Rebecca Black’s Friday: Rebecca Black Herself

Rebecca Black Herself

Perhaps the primary reason I found myself obliged to come to the aid of this phenomenon, was due to Rebecca Black herself. Right back to the day in question, I felt terribly sorry for this girl, who really did not deserve the hardship dumped on top of her doorstep. For starters, she had very little to do with the project in the first place. Rather, our story begins with a company named ARK Music Factory, based in Los Angeles, California. These dudes have quite a clever and interesting business model, one which works kinda like a backwards record label: instead of fronting money to the artist, they allowed the artist to pay for a package which included a song written and produced for them, complete with a music video and some additional promotion, both parties taking a share of the profits. It’s quite a nifty idea, if you ask me.

The issue came with the writers at ARK Music themselves. They may have had the technical prowess, true, but they did not have the creative talent, generating material which is generally considered below average, and that's being charitable. What this also means in context of this blog, is that Rebecca did not write this song. This little fact alone should have ricocheted at least some of the bullets sent her way, but it didn’t even soften the punches. Furthermore, it is worth noting that Rebecca really wasn’t trying to achieve anything with this song either. She wasn’t necessarily hoping to be the next biggest popstar. There wasn’t some record label behind her, telling her what she should be doing or trying to manufacture her into anything. She was merely a girl whose parents paid some money to have a bit of fun (fun fun fun), and no one could have predicted that it would explode in her face as messy as it did.

Lest we forget, poor little Rebecca was only thirteen years old at the time. Now, take a second to remember yourself at that age, and imagine you were suddenly the most hated person on the planet according to 167 million people (the actual number of hits before it was pulled down, a second version racking up a further 90+mil). Seriously, visualise yourself as that thirteen year old you, and try speculate what it would be like to have hundreds upon thousands of people spitting on your very existence, with comments including (and I quote): “Go die in a hole”; “You’re so fat”; “You suck at singing and I hope you go die”; and “I hope you cut yourself and develop an eating disorder so that you’ll look pretty”. In fact, this commentary got so violent that the FBI began an investigation, and Rebecca’s mom removed her from school.

Slightly off topic, but for some reason, Jason Russell always comes to my mind when I think of Rebecca Black. He was the director of Kony 2012, a video opposing Ugandan rebel leader Joseph Kony, which also went massively viral about a year after Friday did. Despite receiving much praise around the globe, his upload did also catch a fair amount of negativity too (as is the nature of the internet), and many people commented some unfavourable things—laughably tame in comparison to Black’s abuse, but somewhat nasty all the same. And do you remember what happened to him? He broke down, stripped naked, and ran around San Diego, yelling at the gods, punching the pavement, and vandalising cars. Here was a 33 year old man who literally lost his mind due to all the focus thrust upon him, and I wonder how differently each of us would have dealt with the same style of scrutiny.

But little Rebecca was immovable. She stood firm in interviews. She refused to let it bother her. She continued making music. She eventually started a video channel and became quite a popular YouTube personality in her own right, chatting about various topics and continually raking in millions upon million of views per upload. In all honestly, she has handled the fame and antagonism in a smarter, more mature fashion than most adults could handle, even using it to her advantage, and in that way, deserves way more respect than she has ever received. She never gave up. She is still fucking going.

And because of this attitude, she got the last laugh. Friday hit 74 on the iTunes Most Downloaded Chart. It hit number 6 on the UK Indie Chart. It hit number 1 on the Billboard Heatseekers Chart. Apparently, she made enough money from this one song to pay for college and fund her future music ventures, whilst reportedly donating much of the proceeds to Japan, who in 2011 were hit by that massive tsunami, if you remember. And she did all of this without a label. At the age of thirteen. What have you done with your life?

I want to conclude this chapter by quickly defending her talent too: Rebecca Black can sing. Here is the proof. Even the ARK Music producers admitted that they used autotune on their own accord, and she sang completely in key the whole time. So let go of that angle at very least.

In Defence of Rebecca Black’s Friday: The Historical Value

The Historical Value

Even back in 2011, I remember distinctly thinking that this song had already reached some sort of a legendary status. Perhaps the last few years have become a bit thinner on the topic, but I do still stand by the idea that Friday has a specific historical value, especially when you set your mind back to its initial execution. Think about it: besides perhaps Gangnam Style, is there any music video you can recall which reached any similar level of viral sensation?

However, while the testament to viral video runs strong in this one, it is the stamp of ‘worst song ever made’ (according to BBC, E!, Yahoo, and a large portion of the internet) which truly sticks this track to the books. This is because the worst song in the world is the biggest winner of all the losers, and that’s a massive achievement. There is the best song in the world, and there is the worst song in the world, and everything else is lost in the middle. It is the bottom piece of bread to the all encompassing musical sandwich. Hey, in some ways, it could be considered the more interesting side of the spectrum too, because people get so irrationally worked up about it with their pukey emojis and sweary words, that it becomes extra hilarious. Seriously, send this song to anyone, and their reaction will most likely not be one of apathy, because literally everyone you know has heard it and has formed an opinion about it. Damn, I wish I had written the worst song in the world.

Basically, what it really comes down to is that Friday succeeded in what every single fame-hungry artist wants: creating a buzz so loud that it deafened the planet. Allow me to educate you that the key to success in the entertainment industry is not to have a million dollar music video, or a nice pretty face, or a Timberland production. It is to give the world an audio form of herpes, of which no one can stop talking about, and this song most definitely reached that peak. It is a factor you cannot buy. It is blessed upon you by the gods. Rebecca Black is practically a holy person.

In Defence of Rebecca Black’s Friday: Why It’s Not (Completely) A Bad Song

Why It’s Not (Completely) A Bad Song

I hope this article comes off in the right way, but just to be sure, let it be known that I’d never defend Friday as a good song. Because it isn’t, really. However, what I am trying to get across here is that it’s not an entirely bad song either, and definitely nowhere near as terrible as the furious backlash would indicate. And so, at the risk of my own taste reputation, here are five reasons as to why this song is ok.
  1. It’s a weekend anthem! So relatable at least once a week! This is not only a great topic for any song, but works particularly well for your stereotypical thirteen year old’s mindset. It feels light and genuine, which I much prefer over some adolescent obsession over boys or drinking or whatever.
  2. Some of the lyrics are so atrocious that they become brilliant, which was a large part of its success. For example: the painful distress of being a teenager trying to choose which seat to sit in, as well as the generous education that Saturday comes after Friday, and then Sunday after that. I love it.
  3. That said, some of the lyrics are actually very quotable. “We we we so excited”, “Partying, partying, YEAH, fun, fun, fun,” and of course, “It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday” are all brilliantly composed pop sing-a-long moments.
  4. There aren’t any rhymes in the whole song! Seriously, unless you count “me” and “scream” in the rap bit, or the countless examples of words rhyming with the same words, there are absolutely no genuine examples to be found. Try name one famous teen-dance-pop song that can claim the same. It’s a ballsy move, no matter how unintentional.
  5. Finally, it’s incredibly catchy. I think that’s what pissed people off the most. They hated it so much, but it sunk itself deep into the mud of everyone's brains to the point of fury, which is a very difficult feat to achieve. You know how many pop songs strive to do just that, yet so often fail? A lot of them. Most of which you won’t even get to hear, because they simply aren't good/bad enough to reach you.
That said, The rap part is possibly one of the worst things I’ve ever heard in my life after all.

In Defence of Rebecca Black’s Friday: Defence From Other People

Defence From Other People

As with everything, it’s nice to discover that I am not alone in my backings for this track. Here are some other worthy praises from some other worthy people:

"I say Rebecca Black is a genius and anyone that's telling her she's cheesy is full of shit." - Lady Gaga
“I love Rebecca Black.” - Miley Cyrus
"Honest opinion? It was great. I'll be jammin' to it on Friday, Friday." - Chris Brown
"I love her [and] the fact that she's gotten so much publicity. People are so upset about the song, but I think it's hysterical [...] Anyone who can create this much controversy within a week, I want to meet. I love people like that [...] The fact that it's making people so angry is brilliant [...] Whatever she's done has worked. Whether you like her or not, she's the most talked-about artist in America right now. Nobody over the age of 18 should understand her or like her. So she should just do it her way." - Simon Cowell
"Rebecca Black is DOPE! I'm gonna support her music, her work, & her dream... But still make Friday jokes." - Nicole Richie
"I'm down with [Rebecca Black]. She's Living the dream! Eatin' cereal, choosing which seat in the car she wants, doin' homework. I BACK IT." - Joel Madden
“I LOVE REBBECCA BLACK! THOSE ARE EXACTLY THE KINDA PEOPLE I WANNA HANG AROUND WITH! HAPPY PEOPLE!” – Lil B
"Dear[Rebecca Black], I would like to party with you." - Andrew WK
"[There’s] something sickeningly catchy about this tune that keeps you coming back for more." - Joseph Lynch (Entertainment Weekly)
"When you see this video, you immediately notice everything that it does 'wrong', but it actually gets a lot of things about pop music right, if just by accident." - Perpetua (Rolling Stone)

Not to mention that it has been covered by Justin Bieber, Todd Rundgren, Nick Jonas, Richard Cheese, and the cast of Glee.
There are also hundreds upon hundreds of popular parodies, including one by Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Taylor Hicks and The Roots; as well as another by Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter.

But probably the highest praise came from Katy Perry, who not only covered the song in concert, but also wrote a song named Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.), of which the music video features and heavily focuses upon Rebecca Black. That must have been quite cool for her.

In Defence of Rebecca Black’s Friday: So What’s The Worst Song In The World Then?

So What’s The Worst Song In The World Then?

Ok, so if this isn’t the worst song in the world, what is? Well, I won’t pretend to know the final answer to something so subjective, but my money's on this one.


Monday 29 February 2016

10 Songs I've Cried To

10 Songs I've Cried To

When I briefly pause and contemplate what I’m trying to achieve here, I realise all of this is pretty stupid. I am yet to feel pride for any of my articles which focus specifically on songs (2014’s The 20 Greatest Songs Of All Time was not even my opinion, and 2015’s The 100 Best Songs Of The Decade So Far was understandably laughed at by most people), and similarly, I am yet to like any of those autobiographical music pieces either (remember 2013’s 25 Albums That Changed My Life? No, me neither). But here I find myself writing not only a combination of those two regrettable themes, but doing so whilst exposing the weaker side of my human by admitting I have indeed cried before. Which, according to Robert Smith, boys don’t do.

Well, here’s the thing: I wrote this blog because I don’t have much time this month, and it’s a very easy filler piece, one which I can quickly shove out with minimal effort and then relax afterwards, so whatever, Becki. Also, Robert Smith has definitely cried before, I think that's what he was actually saying, and you just know the dude couldn’t take a punch to the face. Anyway, if nothing else, this article shows I have a heart and you should love and care for me.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 1. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

1. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

It's poetic how the first song I recall reducing me to tears, was in fact focused upon the very act of crying itself. My exact age is long forgotten, but I was definitely a mini-kiddie, sitting in my lounge, probably smiling along to this great little guitar piece, because I smiled a lot when I was a child. That’s when my father sadistically informed me that this emotionally driven single told the painful tale of loss and suffering, as Eric was mourning his four-year-old son who had fallen to his death from a 53rd story window. Well, naturally my delicate undeveloped heart couldn’t quite comprehend a father and son being forced apart in such a tragic manner, and I burst into a puddle of my own grievance for this poor man, while my own father just laughed at me. In fact, my dad still finds the story hilarious, and continues to tell this very narrative at every family gathering he can.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 2. Placebo - My Sweet Prince

2. Placebo - My Sweet Prince

Fast forward many many years later when I was already a corrupt teenager, and naturally I knew my masculinity card removed all rights to weep at anything—let alone something as trivial as music. So I built a nice little wire fence around my feelings and swallowed any pathetic melancholy down into the depths of my stomach until they boiled over into an aggressive anger, which was a much more acceptable manly response, and still is to this day. However, my security system kinda stopped working when I was perhaps 14 or 15 and had dedicated a large portion to my life to smoking weed, which inadvertently crumbled these walls of defense one by one, rendering any sort of regular emotional balance impossible (or at least not as important as getting high). And that’s when this song came in, as my one friend and I got perhaps a little bit too stoned, put on this record, and shared a little snivel in each other’s arms. These sobs were less provoked by the song’s emotion, mind you, but rather by the overall beauty of the moment. “It’s like, a jellyfish, man,” I distinctly recall my mate telling me. Oh wow, soooo truuuuue.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 3. John Legend - Ordinary People

3. John Legend - Ordinary People

And this is where things get dark, I’m sorry. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, as by the time I was 21 years old, I could no longer sustain the harmony between reckless self destruction and the art of staying alive. I think anyone playing this type of dangerous game would inevitably find themselves crashing into one direction or the other, being forced to make the drastic decision whether they wanted to live or die. In my case, 2005 was coming to an end, and my life had melted into a string of shit. I wasn’t particularly interested in being myself and had resigned to letting myself slowly waste away until I hopefully disappeared completely. Which is why, thinking back, I’m surprised I made the last minute dive towards rescue like I did, and ended up checking myself into a clinic. Proud of my chosen path, I called up the love of my life and enthusiastically told her the news that I was finally going to get better. “That’s great,” she responded. “But I can’t do this anymore. It’s over.” In hindsight, it makes sense why she would break up with the miserable fuck I was, but at the time, it felt like I had been kicked at my lowest point. To combat this inner dilemma, I embarked on a four day binge without a blink of sleep, finally crashing out and then waking up some time later in a state from Satan, an hour before my dad was set to pick me up and take me to the loony bin. To kill the excruciating waiting time, I turned on the TV, and this Legend song was the first thing that came on. Damn, I remember it so well, it perfectly summed up all the things I felt for my ex in that moment, and when coupled with the nasty after-effects of the yesterdays indulgence (as well as the apprehension towards a two month lockdown with crazy people), I dramatically broke into pieces on the floor, sobbing my life out into the carpet, leaving this as probably the most bleak entry on the list. In fact, when I think about the 'song I’ve cried to', this is always the first that comes to mind.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 4. The Beatles - For No One

4. The Beatles - For No One

Following on flawlessly from that last entry: a month after I had been committed to the mental ward, I started feeling pretty damn perky. I had been stuffed fill of professional home cooking, I had attended countless therapy sessions, I had met plenty of fuckups who were much worse than me, and I had completed the first stint with a badge of honour. The medication was working! My brain-chemicals were balanced for perhaps the first time in my life! And because of my good behaviour, I was granted a much more lenient second month, of which allowed such luxuries as music and visitors! Wow! Which was fucking perfect for me, because it was around here that I had become a terminal Beatlemaniac, and needed my regular fix of The Fab Four to keep my happy pouches wet. However, this song specifically had a bit of an opposite effect on me, as once again its words seemed to describe the latter days of my ex-girlfriend so accurately, and I cried to it more than once. But, being the vengeful asshole I am, I did utilise the track to my own gain, forcing the aforementioned girl to listen to the song herself when she visited me, whilst brutally explaining the turmoil she had put me through. She cried too that day. Bless her, really.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 5. Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

5. Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

In all fairness, there isn’t much of a story here. I was 23 years young, sitting at my desk during my very first job, and this song invited itself into my headphones. The weird thing is that I’d heard it many times before as one of my mother’s favourites, but I think on this occasion I was super hungover or something, and I totally choked up at the potent lyrics of hope and the charmingly simply guitar work. Thankfully, no one noticed my unprofessionalism, which was lucky, but I still happily consider this track to be one very cry-worthy composition which nobody should be ashamed of letting go to.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 6. The Chariot - Cheek

6. The Chariot - Cheek.

And then I guess I grew up and ran out of tears, because it wasn’t until 2012 that I can recall crying over a song again. In fact, to label this ‘a song’ is to almost do it a disservice, as it is essentially a soundbyte from the final Charlie Chaplin speech in The Great Dictator film, which has actually grown bigger wings and become even more popular on social media in recent times. However, my first introduction to the delivery was many years earlier, extended from the metalcore hands of The Chariot, who added to these powerful words with an aggressive strength only the metal genre could accentuate. And it picked at my tear ducts, not out of grief or distress, but out of encouragement as a member of the human race. It gave me incentive to take action. It inspired me to stand up to the harsh realities of our system. But then I put Rihanna back on and forgot what I was doing.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 7. Dustin Kensrue - Pistol

7. Dustin Kensrue - Pistol

The 27th of March 2012 was not only the day I met Mike Skinner from The Streets, but was also the day when my current brother-in-law proposed to my little sister. He did the deed by performing the above song to her, complete with a live band and in front of a large audience, which obviously takes guts and I respect the dude for it (even if anything to do with love is totally gross and makes me want to vomit). Perhaps these were the reasons as to why this particular rendition didn’t provoke my sadjuices, but it was the first time I’d even heard of the tune, and found myself compulsively revisiting the track over the course of the next few weeks. And each of these listens brought me back to the moment my sister was promised to another family, and that is what eventually produced a tiny cry at how beautiful life can be. And they lived happily ever after.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 8. Eddie Vedder - Sleeping By Myself

8. Eddie Vedder - Sleeping By Myself

Fucking girls, man! It was a few mere years ago, near the end of 2013, where I had my second (and last, please God) truly atrociously painful breakup, a result of a girl who I thought I loved, sleeping with a dude I thought was a friend. The dissolution hit me a touch harder than the one before in some respects, perhaps because I was an adult now, and such an irrational agony tends to be more scary when you are expected to have some control over your emotions. It got real bad too, I cried plenty without the need for any music, and there were even a few occasions where I’d completely forget to breathe, I’m not even joking. It was so so fucking horrible, I cannot express this enough, I was extremely depressed. Anyway, at some point during my self loathing, this song invaded my usual trusty playlist, and even though I had heard it a few times before, the lyrics suddenly related quite specifically to my situation at the time. I should have know there was someone else! I will forever be sad and lonely! I will be sleeping by myself tonight! Oh, Eddie, I hear you, buddy! ::cry emoji::


10 Songs I've Cried To: 9. La Dispute - I See Everything

9. La Dispute - I See Everything

An unlikely candidate to sob like a child to would be La Dispute. Because, you know, they're all post-hardcore and shit. But the lyrics on I See Everything are still some of the most genuinely gut-wrenching words that I have ever come across, turning my eyes damp on multiple occasions and never ever failing to infect me with goosebumps. I don’t know, call me a softy, but songs about kids dying from cancer kinda bother me a bit. A really hard to comprehend factor of life. A scarcely addressed topic in the music world.


10 Songs I've Cried To: 10. The Beatles - In My Life

10. The Beatles - In My Life

This is a wonderful choice for our send off, because as I previously mentioned, I’ve been a Beatles fanatic for many years now, and the doctors say they can’t do anything to help me. However, there are some of the group’s more highly regarded songs which I never really connected to as much as the general population, and In My Life was definitely one of those offenders for a long time. I can’t accurately explain it now, but I think said song just seemed like some run-of-the-mill Lennon throwaway, forcing an aura of nostalgia without ever quite getting there. Well, that was until 2014, when my little sister married that Pistol boy in one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve ever had the pleasure of attending. Afterwards at the reception, the bride and bride’s daddy (my daddy too!) took their customary dance, which as you had already assumed, was held to this song. And then suddenly ... within that context ... it made so much sense. I’m not sure if Lennon even considered his composition to be interpreted from the standpoint of a dad and daughter connection as he hands her over to another man, but the idea simply destroyed me. I burst out, and looked over to my mother for reassurance. Her cheeks too were streaming in liquid, and so we hugged and that felt a bit better.


Thursday 28 January 2016

Worst to Best: Sonic Youth

Worst to Best: Sonic Youth

I could tell you the arduous tale of how I was first abused by the mighty Sonic Youth's apparatus, only to learn after many moons how to connect on their level, and then finally allowing them impregnate me with their carnivorous fungus which grew into my brain and forced them as my favourite band in the world. But I won't bore you with that story, because we don't have enough time or fancy words left in us. However, I will confess this article to be one of the most challenging bits I've ever had to write. This burden was not primarily strenuous due to the group's coarse nature (as I am sure most of you would assume), but rather due to their stubborn sound which doesn't exactly stray too far away from a rough epicentre, building a discography of fairly similar entries which were difficult to individualise and even tougher to order. I mean, there are only so many times one can use the word 'noisy' to describe something, am I right?

Which is why I wasn't initially all that confident about this post's execution whatsoever, spending many nights in a deep worry that the article on hand was far too sloppy to release outloud to the public. But that's when I realised, within the context, 'sloppy' was probably what the band would have preferred after all. And I guess, when it really came down to it, that wasn't the main point. The main point was that Thurston Moore cheated on Kim Gordon, and now Sonic Youth are no longer a band. Personally, I could only deal with my agony though this very cathartic release, and it was the least I could do for them. It was the least I could do for myself.

But first, there is one rule, listen closely. Only full length Sonic Youth studio albums were considered for this list. That means no film scores, no EPs (of which, their self titled debut definitely falls under, regardless of what the band may tell you), and none of those weird SYR releases (because I'm not quite ready for that just yet) were allowed in. If this ruling is satisfactory enough for you, then we are off to a good start! Please forgive me as I wreck everything along the way. Shoot:


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 16. NYC Ghosts & Flowers

16. NYC Ghosts & Flowers (2000)

Experimental Art Noise Rock
Spotify


Unlike anything the band had faced before, NYC Ghosts & Flowers’ birth was immediately treated with a global level of opposition. To some degree, everyone agreed that this monotone offering felt a little less inspired and lazier than the difficult heart attacks we had already paid for, our monitors currently beating at a regular pace, or even flatlining from ... boredom? Sonic Youth? Impossible! That said, time has been good to this lifeless album, as many have weakened their initial stance, sorrowful for their misjudgement, now faster to defend this anxious darkness as one delicately alluring and spooky record rather than any of the direct grotesque pretensions we had perpetually demanded in the past. And I can appreciate both sides of this argument. However, my core problem with NYC is exactly that: the contrasting opinions from fans. When I heard about the quote unquote 'worst Sonic Youth album ever,' I was praying for an unbearable car crash, one where the noise-line was pushed far too far, and the 'terrible' label really hid the word 'terror' beneath. Instead, I found something much neater and polished than anything they’d done previously, which was a refreshing listen by all means, except too ordinary, too normal, and way too insignificant. That said, it did set the pace for the fantastic spree of albums which followed in the 2000s, so I guess we can grant it a little slack there.

Sides: The drastic style change of NYC has been credited to the theft of all Sonic Youth's instruments during a 1999 tour. Certain irreplaceable modified equipment was now gone, forcing the band to start over and write this album using a completely different approach. But even if I hold such a negative opinion over the move, I have to admit the title sums the record up better than I ever could: NY (the birthplace of their sound) Ghosts (haunting and eerie) & Flowers (pretty and graceful). Poetic!


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 15. Confusion Is Sex

15. Confusion Is Sex (1983)

No Wave Noise Rock
Spotify


In many ways, Sonic Youth’s debut is the most dangerous album they’ve ever made. The band were young, and they had absolutely nothing. No money. No label. No one to impress. No one to tell them what to do. And not a goddamn thing to lose. Throw a bunch of experimental misfits like this into a budget studio, and what did you think was going happen? Well, I’ll tell you what happened: the ugliest, harshest, most undeveloped noise from the whole Youth catalogue. They wrecked their tuning by stabbing their instruments with screwdrivers, whilst causing an endless repetitive hum of hypnotic drone until the strain of dissonance could only be cried out as some sorta rambling mess of one excruciating endurance test. And while such a stressful roughness does work surprisingly often in their favour (The Stooges’ I Wanna Be Your Dog cover, for example, is Gordon at her utmost viciously expressive, and if Kurt Cobain heard Shaking Hell back in ‘83, Nirvana would make a little more sense now), it's still repeatedly agreed upon as perhaps the band’s most forgettable album—fearlessly innovative, certainly, but far too unripe to stand against what followed.

Sides: Later copies of this album came with the Kill Yr. Idols EP as a bonus, which was just as intense and amateur, yet an appreciated addition to the experience all the same. Recommended.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 14. The Whitey Album [Ciccone Youth]

14. The Whitey Album [Ciccone Youth] (1988)

Experimental Industrial Noise Rock
Spotify


Only Sonic Youth could attempt to parody a mainstream disco album and fuck it up so magnificently that it turned out to be the most interesting and experimental release from their entire inventory. Drum machines looped out hip hop beats; synths and samples blurred into the passive guitarwork; and the trademark Youth noise naturally found a way to sneak into the program, leaving us with a band who shed all of their rules (even when they didn’t have that many to begin with), and released the only entry on this list which actually sounds like the era it came from. And yet ... this is not the strangest aspect of The Whitey Album whatsoever. No, what truly sets this exceptionally weird record sideways, is its troubling infatuation with superstar Madonna (the hottest thang back in ‘88). Some of her songs were reinterpreted for the project, her face adorned the cover, and the band actually changed their name to Ciccone Youth (being Madonna’s birth surname) for this release only, which was utterly ridiculous. So, yes, while we can forgivably disregard this piece as essentially a joke album, it is still one perfectly executed joke, and I love it more than most.

Sides: Just to prove how loose this record is, Kim performed Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love at her local karaoke booth, and decided to put it on the album. Who the fuck does that? It’s actually pretty good though, one of the most normal things she has ever sung.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 13. Bad Moon Rising

13. Bad Moon Rising (1984)

Experimental No Wave Noise Rock
Spotify


Probably the most impressive facet of Bad Moon Rising, is how differently it compares to their Confusion Is Sex debut—especially when considering the mere one year age gap between them. Of course, it’s no secret that the word 'noisy' defines Sonic Youth (which still stands sturdy here), but this was the album where said noise was not shoved out just for the sake of it, but rather, focused into actual songwriting, building a cleaner and more standard musical basis, then only utilising said noise as icing on top ... more or less ... kinda. Such an approach was a drastic step towards the SY we know and love today: less hardcore, but still undomesticated, deranged by an overall bondage of poetic depression and slow horror, all the while exploring the 'dark side of America'. You know, like Charles Manson. Or Satanism. Or Halloween. Or the early European settlers' encounters with Native Americans. Just average stuff like that. Uglify the subject even further with textured segues which work as seamless interludes, connecting the whole dismal atmosphere as one singular unit, and you have the very first Sonic Youth album that feels somewhat important, indicating that these New York degenerates may have been onto something all along.

Sides: This album is as old as me and, yes, it was titled after that Creedence Clearwater Revival song. Some versions of the record came with four bonus tracks, which are a decent enough fit for the most part. I also thought Thurston's lyrics on I’m Insane that go “inside my head my dog’s a bear” actually went “inside my head my dog’s embarrassed,” which I preferred.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 12. The Eternal

12. The Eternal (2009)

Alternative Rock
Spotify


When a band has been together for three decades, certain inevitable factors come into play. One good factor, would be the group’s built-up chemistry which an outsider could easily misconstrue as telepathy, and on The Eternal, Sonic Youth have acquired just that. These guys have never gelled so well, this album being their tightest ever, coming across like a collaboration rather than just members presenting their own compositions and allowing the others to molest them with static. And this solidarity seemed like a warm, fun place to be. On the negative side, however, is the unavoidable factor of getting older. And while Sonic Youth have aged respectfully by rocking more aggressively on this record than almost their entire career, it still falls into a much more directly conventional and accessible vibe, hardly any noise now, rather sitting comfortably on the modern alternative couch instead of blasting it the fuck apart like before. More tragic still, is that this piece ended everything, as the last Youth record ever :( The band broke up shortly after, far from at a high point, leaving their tale all that more sour. But even with this considered, no one could deny Eternal as a great album, and while some call it slightly unimaginative and nothing new, it's still all we got, so take it and shut up.

Sides: After the band's contract with Geffen Records expired, the two parties went their separate ways, and Matador snapped them up. I imagine the new label were pretty bleak when they only got one album for their money, but hey, at least they were granted the honour of being the first to announce the news of the split, delivering the blow which informed us all that the godfathers of modern noise-punk were gone.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 11. A Thousand Leaves

11. A Thousand Leaves (1998)

Experimental Psychedelic Noise Post-Rock
Spotify


Having earned a fair profit from their 1995 Lollapalooza festival appearance, our heroes decided to build their own studio which came with the luxury of an unlimited time schedule and less people to answer to. However, many consider said luxury to have been A Thousand Leaves’ curse, removing the urgency with hookless improvisational jams stretched out to unnecessary lengths, void of all punches, and slowly going through the motions as one tediously dreary journey all the way up Sonic Youth’s own ass. And because I personally prefer my meal to come dosed in a splatter of feedback, I too agree that this endeavour is one unstimulating and energy-less exercise in murky psychedelic waffles, which doesn’t always work and is not one of their best. But even with that in mind, it still boasts its hefty share of merit, as this unresponsive album opts to target the groove above all else, hushing the disarray by wearing the band’s age without shame—a midlife record, but not a midlife crisis, which is a difficult thing to pull off. The result is a rare, refreshing, and oft-overlooked bullet in their arsenal, with almost enough pearls to warrant the excessive timeframe it demands. Almost.

Sides: To prove how productive the band were at this stage of their career (or, rather, evidence as to why they sounded so exhausted), they released three highly experimental EPs around here too, namely Anagrama, Slaapkamers met slagroom, and Invito al ĉielo, all of which were recorded at the same time as this album. Another interesting goody from this release, is that the video for Sunday starred Macaulay Culkin, of all people


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 10. Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star

10. Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star (1994)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify


One could argue that the early-90s accusations of betrayal and commercialism had begun to weigh burdensome on Sonic Youth, threatening their integrity and forcing their hand to produce something which somewhat harked back to the good old days. And Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star was that response. However, instead of relying on their trademark turbulent onslaught or absurd looneyness, they confused everyone by confidently presenting a nonchalant piece of melodic noise, which was a dreamier and quieter alleyway above any they’d dared to explore before. The short songs spat plenty of ideas which came and went so fast that nothing had a chance to develop into anything substantial, but that’s exactly what made this subdued record so unique, and is exactly why I hug this album in such high regards. Unfortunately, not everyone felt the same way, as new fans were overwhelmed and had a hard time penetrating the dense clamour, while old fans had already given up a long time ago, placing this release in a very awkward position indeed. However, hindsight has been kinder to the experiment, countless critics considering it one of Youth’s most underrated projects, and many praising it as a defining mid-90s alternative triumph. Well, that's ok then.

Sides: To save money, Experimental Jet Set, Trash And No Star was recorded over the band's previously used master tapes, and so if you turn up your volume real loud, you can just about hear their album Sister leak through during some of the quieter parts. This is also Sonic Youth's first album to feature a hidden track, which itself sounded much more like old SY than the whole album put together.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 09. Sister

09. Sister (1987)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify


Oh my God! How is this possible?! The classic Sister? One of the highest regarded masterpieces from Sonic Youth’s career?? Sometimes even the highest regarded??? So low on this list???? Blasphemy! Let’s stop reading this stupid article right now! Let’s send the writer offensive messages! Let’s question his dedication to the cause! Alright alright, calm down everybody, it’s only an album, Jesus. Look: I have tried to explain multiple times as to why I consider this record to be the most overrated on offer here, but then I realised nobody has convincingly explained to me anything otherwise. Yes, I acknowledge its influence on other artists. I applaud how its edges point towards a more traditional sound (giving it great purpose on the overall Youth timeline). I idolise the warmth of its analogue production (my favourite aspect about this release, in fact). It's melodic. It's aggressive. It’s a fucking great album, I know this! But the issue is that its own reputation sinks it, surviving from occasional peaks of powerful genius, but frequently coming across slightly dated, and definitely not as superior to the rest of Youth’s catalogue as so many seem to think it is. On a normal day, it simply passes me by, and I guess I’m sorry about that? What do you want me to do? Lie? Although I happily admit that there will probably come a day when I'll regret leaving it here, but oh well. Moving on as fast as possible...

Sides: Science fiction author Philip K. Dick claims to have always been haunted by his fraternal twin sister who died shortly after their birth. Which sucks, sure, but it did prove to be a decent inspiration for this album.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 08. Rather Ripped

08. Rather Ripped (2006)

Alternative Indie Rock
Spotify


As I hope this list will accurately illustrated in time, Sonic Youth were always a band who enjoyed fiddling with the line between accessible and non-accessible music. And it’s this notion which makes Rather Ripped so distinguishable, unchallenged as the most radio-rock and commercially sympathetic product in their entire backlog. The ear-bleeding noise and endurance-teasing experimentation were completely eradicated from this record (and this record alone), leaving nothing but a pure indie rock album behind, cautiously cleaned to a borderline poppy sleek, and even featuring some actual melodies almost sung in tune! Wow! Naturally, many fanatics felt forsaken by this straightforward direction, but those with an open heart appreciated Rather Ripped as perhaps the easiest entry point for those troublesome friends who were unaccustomed to guitar torture and just “didn’t get” our beloved idols. As for me, it’s one of the Youth releases I defend most firmly, simply because it proves the band weren’t a one-dissonant-pony, and in fact had the talent to pull off a pleasantly songful alternative album all along (and, what’s more, even better than most). That said, the sound suited them almost too well, so perhaps it's for the best they didn't pursue this pathway any further, lest our treasured secrets actually became popular.

Sides: The name Rather Ripped came from a Californian record store, chosen above the working titles Sonic Life and Do You Believe in Rapture?. And as it stands, my favourite review for this record ever came from RYM user Fotzepolitic, who called this his "mum's favourite Sonic Youth album.”


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 07. Goo

07. Goo (1990)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify


Predating the Nirvana explosion by one year, Sonic Youth had already started to harvest their own brand of unpredictable success in 1990. Affectionately known as their ‘sell out’ album, Goo marks when our band went major, signing to Geffen and releasing the first slickly produced record of their career. And while many purists winced at the more digestible sound, most of us were relieved to find that no amount of money could truly tame the anxious disobedience of the Youth, rather only polish the scene so we could view the wreck in higher definition. The end result is one of their most memorable releases which works as an excellent entry point for virgin listeners, complete with some of their catalogue’s greatest songs. The haunting Tunic, for example. Or how about Kool Thing, their most famous single, standing as the pinnacle of the super loud/fast/mad riff and feedback approach, yet somehow distorting the message into a legitimate (almost commercial) rock song—exactly what they were always trying to achieve. That said, something about Goo doesn’t quite sit right with me. Too cheerful? Too comical? Too childlike? The unfortunate 'title track' which is one of their worst songs ever, warping my memory’s associations into a ball of cringe? Choose your own adventure. But also don't listen to me, it fucking rocks.

Sides: The cover artwork is an illustration by Raymond Pettibon, based on a paparazzi photo of the witnesses to the Moors murders, namely Maureen Hindley and David Smith. It has gone on to be pretty much the representative image of the band, as this blog's very lead image would indicate. In other news, this album cost $150,000 to make, which was a fucking fortune for the band at the time.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 06. Sonic Nurse

06. Sonic Nurse (2004)

Alternative Indie Noise Rock
Spotify


When Sonic Nurse came out, plenty praised it as the best Youth since (x) or (y) or (whatever other renowned SY record you want), indisputably appreciated as one of the band’s greatest latter day creations. Said applause rang loudest for the record’s songful balance, one which achieved the perfect harmony between clutter and delicacy, and an effort which actually sounded like a real album for a change. There was no getting lucky or forcing nervous accolade by veering too far into the dark abrasiveness here. Instead of hiding under layers of feedback, they rather utilised their noise to enhance an emotion, like a paint job instead of a centerpiece. It was uncomplicated, the snug place in the middle of a team who had developed into something more musical, allowing the process to evolve naturally without jump-starting ideas via bursts of clashes and shocks. Thurston continued his trend of improving per release. Gordon has perhaps never sung better than on I Love You Golden Blue. The album title was perfect. The artwork was perfect. And while a few moaners mumbled some mehs of opposition (boring? familiar? standard indie rock?), you won’t hear any such words from me, as I consider this album to be the closest Sonic Youth came to releasing a classic without quite getting there.

Sides: Kim Gordon and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream is about Mariah Carey's nervous breakdown, originally titled Mariah Carey and the Arthur Doyle Hand Cream, but changed for obvious reasons. Another interesting song title would be Dude Ranch Nurse, which was also the name of a Richard Prince photographic series. The man was known for his Nurse Paintings series too, where this cover art came from. Circles!


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 05. EVOL

05. EVOL (1986)

Experimental Noise Rock
Spotify


On their third album, Sonic Youth progressed their intentions of sluggishly approaching a more melodic alternative sound, which one could almost suspiciously accuse of commercialism if it weren’t for that pesky detached noise which saturated the drabby material surrounding them, weighing their bodies down, causing lethargy during an already gloomy journey. And it sounded wonderful. Why wouldn't it? For this was the point where the band had started to take their game much more seriously. They had just hired drummer Steve Shelly, whose accomplished percussion patterns enhanced their message immeasurably, right until the very end of their career. They built a dimly lit trips of aggressive-less violence which was as creepy and grim, as it was disinterested and abstract, as it was beautiful and atmospheric. Thurston in particular really came into his own here, sounding more confident than ever, completely dominating this album’s vocal duties with his poetic musings and monotone deliveries (perfect for this particular mood). And they packaged the whole experience with arguably the greatest artwork of their career (still). It’s no wonder, then, that EVOL is almost always regarded as Youth’s first 'masterpiece', and even if I consider it a touch hyped-up, it has completely earned the title.

Sides: After Minutemen's bassist Mike Watt lost his band member and friend D. Boom to a car accident, he was reluctant to play music ever again. However, the Youth convinced him to perform on the track In the Kingdom #19 (coincidentally, a song about a car crash), and the experience was so enjoyable, that he credited this very recording as a major influence to his return to the industry.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 04. Murray Street

04. Murray Street (2002)

Alternative Indie Noise Rock
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In the midst of recording this album, those evil plane attacks hit the Twin Towers, and the Murray Street sessions crashed down like the buildings themselves. Our band halted their studio work, and instead focused their starpower on admirably performing benefit shows to help the tragedy in their city. The influence such events had on the resumed recordings some time later is often hypothesised yet never confirmed, but everyone agreed that whatever happened, this was one of the Youth’s greatest in almost a decade, or perhaps even ever. The basic structures and enticing grace gave the album an uncharacteristic consistency throughout, keeping your body steady and keeping your mind settled. It was a refined and concentrated type of welcoming persuasion, hiding the ominous thoughts and exhausted cracks of ageing underneath unconventional modesty by submitting a summary album rather than one of innovation, clearing the stage for who they were now, and who they wanted to be. And yet, perhaps the most surprising aspect of all, was that Murray Street was a flawless record from a band who built their successes on flawed music, proving that between this, Ripped, and Nurse, the group had some intriguing spunk left in them still, which once again leaves the break-up all that more heartbreaking and difficult to deal with.

Sides: Remarkably, the most interesting features of Murray Street had nothing to do with Thurston (who otherwise dominated this record) or Kim (who is disappointedly pushed to the end with fairly generic contributions), but rather with the other participants. For not only was this the first SY album to feature Jim O'Rourke as an official fifth member, but Lee Ranaldo's Karen Revisited composition is probably the best damn thing on offer here. It is also worth noting that this (tied with Rather Ripped) is Sonic Youth's highest rated album on Metacritic as we speak, with an 82%.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 03. Dirty

03. Dirty (1992)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify


After the Nevermind atom bomb obliterated all of music everywhere, there was a mad rush following to find the next Nirvana, and all hot bets were placed directly on Sonic Youth. It made sense, as they were massively inspirational to Kurt, and were already signed to the same label, Geffen. To increase their chances, Nevermind producer Butch Vig was promptly hired to enrich the soil, tighten the wobbles, and apply just enough Seattle grunge scene pressure to hopefully cash-in on Nirvana’s recent success. And I honestly feel Sonic Youth gave it their best shot, attempting to sell-out, but unable to, simply because their brains weren’t wired that way. They were far too raw, too juvenile, and too fundamentally punk to be slicked down by some fancy production, instead spitting out (probably their most aptly titled record) Dirty, an angry album complete with political messages and feminist anthems, biting into the grunge movement rather than imitating it, and then choking on the blood. Naturally, something like this didn’t sell as well as the execs had hoped, but it still stands as one of the greatest releases at the epicentre of SY’s heyday—even if some spoilsports called it 'untrue to themselves' (whatever that meant).

Sides: Still on the Nirvana topic, it is interesting to note that the grunge kings signed to Geffen after Sonic Youth suggested they should join the family. When Nevermind was ready for release, the label hoped it would sell around 250,000 units, based on how many copies Youth's Goo had sold. 24 million something later, and it's no wonder they were disappointed with Dirty's lack of success, Geffen Records executive Mark Kates even once stating that the singles he chose from the album were "one of the biggest professional mistakes of my life". Regardless, I did call Dirty my favourite Sonic Youth back in 2012, as well as my 30th favourite record ever, so that's gotta count for something, right, Geffen?


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 02. Washing Machine

02. Washing Machine (1995)

Experimental Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify


A year before Washing Machine drifted out, Kim and Thurston had their first (and only) child, Coco Gordon Moore, and by all accounts, the new role of parenthood dominated this album’s aura like a protective blanket. The afterglow of childbirth had slowed their tempos down to a patient calm, as they wandered aimlessly throughout this unfamiliar playing field, slightly unsure as to where they might be going, but aware of the surrounding open space required to allow their growing baby to breathe. That said, do not misconstrue this new melodic approach as some sort of landmark where our punk couple turned soft, as this is still a difficult formula to digest, standing firm as one of their most proudly anti-commercial offerings from the 90s, perhaps even resembling a sad washing machine itself, as it soaks the colours out of everything in a watery cycle, hypnotically slurring out its feelings with no regard to your time or quarters. In other words, it is an underrated masterpiece which somewhat steps back towards Youth’s more classic sound and welcomes us with love into this cold, scary world filled with darkness and sorrow. Oh, and please don’t even get me started on Diamond Sea. Jesus.

Sides: Did you know that this was the first Sonic Youth album where Gordon exclusively played guitar, resulting in a three-guitar and drums lineup? Did you know that Kim Deal from the Pixies featured on the incredible song Little Trouble Girl? Did you know that the album's cover photo only crops the heads off of the two fans because the band had no idea who they were and couldn't get their permission? Did you know that Sonic Youth actually considered changing their name to Washing Machine for this release, but the label thought that was crazy and said no? NOW YOU KNOW.


Worst to Best: Sonic Youth: 01. Daydream Nation

01. Daydream Nation (1988)

Alternative Noise Rock
Spotify


Surprise! Ok, sure, there are a few wanky elitists who claim some other Sonic Youth record to be their best, but the fact is that they are wrong, and 100% of people agree (rounded off to closest integer). So excuse me while I enthusiastically suck this album’s dick and swallow, but Daydream Nation is where the band became gods. They trashed our faces with an onslaught of high-energy avant-rock, perfectly crafted into a lo-fi noise which screamed from an army of invigorated riffs that tore indie music right down the middle. It was less abstract. It was much tighter. It had no filler. It had no pointless meandering. It was just straight-to-the-point melodic filth which came across more like a best-of compilation over anything else. Because of these factors, the intoxicating masterpiece was worshipped as an instant classic from its very first day of release, but its legacy has gone on to outgrow itself, now considered a definitive milestone of 80s rock, as relevant and important today as it ever was, and inarguably one of the greatest albums ever made. And I simply do not have the confidence to argue against that, so here we are.

Sides: Check this out: Rolling Stone Magazine called Daydream Nation the 328th greatest album ever, as well as the 45th greatest album of the 80s. Guitarist UK called it the 11th most essential guitar album ever. Spin Magazine called it the 13th greatest album from 1985 to 2010, as well as the 9th best alternative album ever. Pitchfork called it the best album of the 80s, handsdown. And it has already been added to the National Recording Registry by the Library of Congress. Thank you very much.

Read This Next Maybe

Worst To Best: David Bowie
Worst To Best: David Bowie

Monday 11 January 2016

Dear David Bowie,


Dear David Bowie

I, like most people, am no stranger to the heartbreak of losing a close friend or a loved one. It is irrefutably the most hollowing of all human experiences, when a part of you that once sat undetected has now been scooped out from your spirit, and its sudden absence leaves a disorientating mess of surreal confusion and irreplaceable damage. You become consumed, normal everyday priorities appear frivolous, any stray thought will come crashing back into the memory of the departed, and a new pouch of tears rips open within the solar plexus, allowing us to cry a new brand of grief, for what feels like all the water inside of our body.

It's fascinating, then, how upset one can get over a person they have never met, but it does make sense. Celebrities play an integral part of our happiness and growth. They teach us lessons, good or bad. They inspire us to reach for what they have. And their lives provide us with a well-needed break when our own gets a little too overwhelming to bear.

But you, Mr Bowie, cannot be lumped so easily into this category. Your worth as an artist is above your average famous person (to say the very fucking least), which has been proven time and time again by sales figures, awards, your net worth, your influence on the greater art world, your legendary status, and the tributes we have seen at such monumental proportions today. You were the epitome of Rock God, immeasurably larger than any other human alive, leaving a very sad platform which will never ever be filled. You will forever stand as the greatest example of someone who shoved so much art into their trade that they themselves became the masterpiece. You were your masterpiece.

It's strange to say, but dying has been the most human thing you've ever done, which would explain the universal disbelief of your passing. You were never supposed to die. And now you have left us without any clue as to what we're supposed to do without you, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I don't know if I will ever be the same in the knowledge that another Bowie song will never be written again. Sounds silly, doesn't it? Although, then again, does it? Perhaps we never met, Bowie, and perhaps it was very one sided, but I spent a lot of time with you, man. I thought of you every day. You were the pinnacle. You were the type of dude that proved that there was a certain magical element to the world, a puzzling freedom, and through artistic expression, we all maybe had the chance of getting there ourselves. And that's the type of thought that makes your death seem further unique and special, above even that of someone I may have known in real life. Because, as I cry while typing this, I know there is crying around the world for you, and as a global unit, there is a really large fucking hole right now. Maybe in the afterlife they measure your impact by the volume of tears produced, and if so, you, sir, would surely be up there with the best of them. And I'm proud to contribute.

In a rare case like this, the mind naturally searches for counterparts who we can also place in the league of musical deaths which my lifetime will be remembered for. Kurt Cobain is a good contender. But when we step back and evaluate his contribution, we find a man who wrote a few generation defining albums and then ultimately self destructed into a rockstar cliché tragedy. I also clearly remember when Michael Jackson died, but by that point, his private life had fallen into such a media circus of controversy, that it outweighed his musical input, and much like Cobian, his fatal overdose resulted in yet another tragic death typical for the famous. But your story, Mr Bowie, was not a tragedy. Your health had been in question for almost a decade. You lived to the respectable age of 69. You continuously presented acclaimed work until just the other day. And your cancerous demise was an exit even the most cautious of individuals have been known to take. But what was anything but commonplace was your artistic donation, which was so substantial in volume and so immense in success, that it spread as one of the most well-known in the industry's history, yet was skewed so far sideways by its peculiar innovation and integrity, that your ladder stood alone, suggesting your legacy could never be regarded in the same breath as Elvis or Lennon or Sinatra, but rather a warped bubble floating out to space all by itself. And that's why none of this is an unfortunate disaster. This was the perfect lifestory, as if God himself was a massive Bowie fan and wanted your book to be a long and rewarding read, with a satisfactory beginning, middle, and conclusion.

And that is exactly what we got. It only took me a few minutes to grow suspicious, but it does now seem to be confirmed by Tony Visconti that you were desperately informing us about your fast approaching death just last Friday, and you were saying goodbye. The Starman, now a Blackstar. "Look up here, I'm in heaven". "I'm trying to, I'm dying too". "Something happened on the day he died". And perhaps the most eerie lyric of all (although probably coincidental), "Where the fuck did Monday go?". The references to fear and death and mortality are all too obvious now. You knew this was your final message, and you somehow delivered it from a podium you had never spoken from before, a genre untouched by your voice, which is seemingly impossible from a 69 year old man dying from cancer who had built an entire career out of reinvention and genre-hopping. I mean, already the critics had spent the last week unanimously worshipping this new sound you walked on, and I can only imagine how great that must have made you feel on your last days. Wow, what a wonderful thought that is. But now that you have abandoned us in the knowledge of what you were literally saying, we can only stand still in awe of your genius which was working until the bitter end, the album's newfound meaning suddenly proving your swansong to be perhaps your most potent, smartest, and calculated move yet. Which is an unheard of feat for a man who spent five decades releasing music, and who was only two days away from his final heartbeat. Oh, you sneaky sneaky alien.

To conclude on a personal note, I have to tell you that you were my #1. People would ask me which celebrity I wanted to meet the most, and my answer was always David Bowie. People would ask which act I'd like to see live the most, and my answer was always David Bowie. And to know that I will never get either of these opportunities has left me with a sickness I'm not sure I've ever felt before. You have to understand, you were my artistic everything. Not a piece of work I have produced wasn't an ode to you on some level. I stole everything I know from you, and the only reason nobody noticed is because I didn't have the guts to commit to it as far as you did. I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is not a single artist I love more than you. And I will miss you so fucking fiercely.

Thank you for everything, Starman.
You live on within us.

Jared Woods