I Am The Reincarnation Of John Lennon

Chapter 1
People Say I’m Crazy, Dreaming My Life Away

"I'm not afraid of death because I don't believe in it. It's just getting out of one car, and into another" - John Lennon [Ref01]

By now many people have begun to question my sanity. I guess this is understandable, as I have been known to question it myself. However, I can think of a few people off-hand that consider me to be perfectly normal, and I am hoping that this blog will be the final straw in rectifying this. And why wouldn’t it? It's a rather tall order. "The reincarnation of John Lennon?" one might query. "Well, doesn't that sound a bit conceited, ridiculous, and pretty much impossible to prove?" And that's fair enough.

The truth is, I wrote the original draft of this essay back in 2007. Excitedly, I showed it to a few of my friends, whose response was generally "keep that one to yourself, Jared". That freaked me out. Maybe they were finally realising that there was something seriously wrong with me. In fear, I promptly buried the evidence deep within my porn drawer so that no one would ever find it. I mean, what would people say? What kind of arrogant fuck actually thinks he is the reincarnation of arguably the greatest artist that ever walked our planet? Well, Liam Gallagher for one [Ref02]. And me for another.

Thank God for getting older! Now I don’t give a fuck what any of you think! And weirdly enough, it seems that this attitude has resulted in people liking me even more. Go figure. Now armed with my new found confidence, I introduced the hypothesis to more and more people over the last year, and the results have varied. At very least, I get a lol. At very most (and drastically more seldom) people start to say "well... you do have an interesting theory there". Because I do. I have a fucking interesting theory here. And that is why I am finally going public with the truth. Yes, I am the reincarnation of Jonh Lennon. Touch me if you want. Here is the hardcore evidence:

Chapter 2
You Don't Take Nothing With You But Your Soul

The title of this chapter comes from the song "The Ballad of John and Yoko", written by John Lennon in 1969. Think.

Death is a complicated subject. I am sure by now you have formed your own opinions on the spooky afterlife; or your day of judgement; or whatever it is you believe death to be. If reincarnation isn’t on your subscription table, so be it, I’m not here to convince you otherwise. But who cares what you think? What matters is what John Lennon thought. And he definitely had an interest in the topic, the best evidence being the 2 month stint he spent in India, 1968, partaking in advanced Transcendental Meditation taught by the guru Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. [Ref03]

The Transcendental Meditation book itself has the following to say:

“In order to understand the cycle of birth and death ... it should first be understood that the cause of rebirth is the unfulfilled desires of past life. If a man wants to accomplish this or that and fails to do so before the body ceases to function, he dies unfulfilled. Because of this unfulfillment the inner man (mind) goes to create another body through which that unfulfilled desire of the past life may be fulfilled. Thus it is one's own desire that is the cause of rebirth ... this cycle ... takes the man from birth to birth, and the cycle of birth and death continues..."
- Transcendental Meditation, p110, popularised by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi [Ref04]

Sadly, The Beatles' long-time manager Brian Epstein died whilst they were on their Indian visit, which obviously upset The Fab Four greatly. When asked what Maharishi had advised them to do relating to the passing, John Lennon said:

"[Maharishi] told us not to get overwhelmed by grief, and to -- whatever thoughts we have of Brian, to keep them happy, because any thoughts we have of him will travel to him wherever he is." [Ref05]

So we can say with all certainty that at one definite point of his life, Lennon had a grasp on the concept that our energy was released in death, but still existed on some level. And more than likely, is going to be reused somewhere, as this is the nature of energy itself. [Ref06]

Good thing too, because Lennon did die. On the 8th of December 1980 to be exact. Murdered by the hand of some insane cunt named Mark David Chapman, who shot John 4 times in the back. And as Lennon had established himself as one of the most successful songwriters in history (as well as a political/peace & love advocate) the whole world was shoved into deep hole of grief. I think we are still there to a degree.

(I won’t go into conspiracy theories here, but I urge you to use your Google Machine and read the widely available information on the subject. It's fascinating.)

He was rushed to the hospital, but pronounced dead on arrival. And with that (according to the theory we just discussed) his "soul" shot across the universe, in hope to one day come together with a new host when the time was right. But when is the time right? What is the general opinion on the time it takes for a soul to reincarnate?

Ian Stevenson (a man who is known for his reincarnation research, having investigated thousands of cases in India, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Burma, Lebanon and Turkey) and Karl Muller (a separate lesser famous researcher) both came to the following conclusion:

"The intermission between death in the previous life and birth in new life is usually between one and four years; an intermission of more than 12 years hardly ever occurs." - [Ref07]

On the 16th of October 1984, I was born, four years after the death of John Lennon. Now this is more important than it seems. I mean, I’m not jumping up and down and saying that this proves I caught Lennon's spirit inside of me, but it does prove Liam Gallagher did not. The twat was born 8 years before the death of John Lennon. How is that even possible? If you come away with nothing else, let it be that this man who is making the same claim as me probably doesn’t even know what reincarnation means.

"There's no real such thing as death anyway. I mean, it's death on a physical level, but life goes on everywhere... and you just keep going, really." - George Harrison [Ref08]

Another important aspect of my birth-date relates to John Lennon's birth-date, as our birthdays are exactly one week apart. First of all, a week is such a nice round amount of days, don’t you agree? It sounds so much better than if I had said 6 days, or 8 days, right? That might not mean anything. What does mean something is that this puts us in the same star-sign: Libra. This is generally regarded as one of the more vain star-signs [Ref09], which would suggest that if John did have to choose a host (if it indeed works that way) then it would make sense for him to try and aim for someone who was (a) as similar to him as possible (close birthday, for a big fucking example), and (b) have extremely good looking parents. I fulfil the criteria is all I’m saying. More on this in the next chapter.

Let’s summarize. If you don’t believe in reincarnation, based on the title alone, you knew this blog wouldn’t convince you of shit anyway. But if you do, then I think this chapter somewhat proves that it could at very least be somewhat possible. Unlikely, sure, but if there is a chance - there is a chance. From here, it gets a little more fun.

Chapter 3
Got To Be Good Looking Cos He's So Hard To See

You know some people say a dog begins to look like its master? Why do you think this is? Well, I for one have no idea.

But a theory could be that the master's dominating energy is influencing the physical appearance of the dog's inferior energy. This makes some sense to me, because our cells are regenerating and adapting at massive speeds (some say that after 7 years we are an entirely new person, although there is some dispute [Ref10]) and this is happening due to our trapped energy or spirit or whatever. We can support this by saying dead people don’t adapt or regenerate, living people do. It's true! Cut yourself, you will heal. Cut a dead person, they will stay cut. Your energy is sorting you out.

Not to go on about this, but you have to understand there is a very important relationship between our spiritual selves and our physical selves. This isn't a religious thing, it's a scientific thing. Think about how Doctors are trained to give patients hope, because with hope (an emotional thing) chances of recovery are drastically improved - which is well documented all over the books. [Ref11] [Ref12]. The sick get sicker, the strong grow stronger, it’s something that has become such a cliché that it has lost its true meaning.

There are more extreme and urban-legendy type stories based around this. I remember once reading that Aleister Crowley (I think it was) had spent so much time focusing on dark spirits and magick that he felt lumps growing on his forehead much like horns. And by now a lot of us have heard about the boy who regrew toes on his amputated leg because he had witnessed salamanders doing the same thing. I can’t find references, but it should at least further cement the belief of some people.

Ok, now that I have bored myself to tears, I will get to the point. If reincarnation was a fact, and there is a definite correlation between spirit and our physical selves, one could assume that there might be a visible affect. The physical side of the new host would somehow reflect the old one. For the rest of this chapter, I would like to pin point what these would be between myself and John Lennon.

"He had inherited his mother’s extreme nearsightedness, and by age seven was pronounced to be in need of glasses." - Philip Norman
(John Lennon: The Life By Philip Norman - near the end of Chapter 2) [Ref13]

"John Lennon, in fact, had trouble seeing the audience; extremely nearsighted from an early age, he was reluctant to wear glasses in public." - Richard Buskin [Ref14]

The first (and probably pointless) point, obviously refers to the above quotes. John Lennon was short sighted, meaning he couldn't see far. OMG, me too. In fact, I relate to John in many small ways to do with this. For starters, he was very embarrassed of this fact and spent much of his early life not wearing them at all. OMG, me too. Lennon only started to wear his glasses because Buddy Holly was his hero and made him feel ok about it. OMG, I only started to wear my glasses because John Lennon is my hero and made me feel ok about it. Weird.

"In a letter to a Holly fan, Lennon wrote, 'He made it O.K. to wear glasses. I was Buddy Holly.'" - Goldrosen and Beecher, page 159 [Ref15]

Apparently this short-sightedness made Lennon a very bad driver, even crashing his car shortly after passing his driving test [Ref16]. I won’t elaborate on this point, because if you know - you know. I have since switched to contact lenses and feel much better for it, thanks for asking.

A stretch? Yeah maybe. But the idea is to pile up the evidence as to the physical similarities between myself and John Lennon, and here is yet another weak point:

Please click to the above photo. CLICK ON IT. You will notice that me and Mr. Lennon share a mark on our foreheads. Lennon's is said to be either a mole or a birthmark, whilst mine is a scar from chicken pox or something. Coincidence? Maybe. But what is noteworthy is that Lennon quite liked the mark because:

"Buddha was supposed to have had one mole in the center of his forehead, and that was considered in the Oriental Physiognomy as a sign of a very wise man." - Yoko Ono [Ref17]

I won’t point out the obvious relation to Buddhism and their beliefs on reincarnation, but feel free to do it yourself, it's a common discussion. [Ref18]

But all of this is neither here nor there. The heart of this chapter has nothing to do with forehead marks or eyesight problems. It has to do with the fact that I look like John Lennon. Agree or disagree, I wasn’t the first one to note this. I have had friends tell me, I have had strangers tell me, I have had a homeless man tell me once. I have an ex-girlfriend who said it when she first met me and still calls me Lennon to this day, a nickname I love and treasure. I have used John Lennon as my Gtalk profile picture before, and someone asked "is that you?" I said yes, naturally. Be the judge for yourself in the following 6 photos, some people have disagreed, but I have definitely heard it multiple times.

None of the photos in this blog were taken specifically for this purpose. They were all picked from my facebook profile, unedited. If you aren’t my facebook friend, you’re just going to have to take my word for it - don’t add me. I haven’t ever tried to look like John Lennon in my life, that would be pathetic.

This chapter is an important one as I’m not relying on your beliefs about spirituality, theorizing about life-after-death or any such assumptions. Whether or not you agree we look alike, you will have to concur that, yes, at least Jared is not some fat bald guy or a tranny making these claims. I am a skinny looking white boy, who wears glasses and has a funny shaped nose. Kind of like John Lennon really.

Chapter 4
I'm Travelling On The One After 909

Congratulations on making it this far. So I have covered the spiritual and astrological similarities. I have covered the physical similarities. Now comes the somewhat weirder side of things. This is the part where some will go "yeah... that is kind of strange" while others will go "just another stupid coincidence". Well, first of all, how many coincidences do you need? And, second of all, suck my bum. It doesn’t matter, it is totally worth mentioning, God told me.

"9 is the highest number in the universe. After the number 9, we begin to recycle the lower numbers to make new ones. So, 9 is the largest original number." - John Lennon*

* - Unfortunately, I couldn’t find reputable source for this quote except for a few message boards I refuse to reference. However, I do remember hearing this quote before, I think it might have been in The Beatles Anthology, so I have included it. Apologies, at least I’m honest.

John Lennon was obsessed with the number 9. He felt it followed him around his whole life, and if you look at it, it kind of did. As I mentioned at the beginning of this blog, he was born on the 9th of October, one week before me. Weirdly enough, his son Sean shared this birthday.

Brian Epstein (The Beatles’ long term manager) secured their recording contract with EMI on May 9th 1962, and first saw them play at the Cavern on November 9th 1961. Exactly 5 years later on 09/09/1966, Lennon met Yoko Ono.

Out of The Beatles’ singles that made the U.S. Top 10 in Billboard history, all peak positions were covered except #9.

In April 1969 he changed his name to John Ono Lennon. There are 9 'o's in the combined names of John Ono Lennon and Yoko Ono Lennon.

Because of this obsession, John used the number throughout his work. Examples include:

When he was eleven years old he painted a picture of himself playing football with a large number 9 on his shirt, which became the cover for his album "Walls and Bridges".

The song "One After 909" recorded originally in 1963, but rerecorded and released on Let It Be in 1970.

The most Avant Garde song in The Beatles' catalogue "Revolution No. 9" from The White Album (their 9th official studio release) which repeats the phrase "number 9, number 9, number 9....." over and over. I love it, personally.

Lennon's solo song "#9 Dream", which peaked at number 9 in the charts when it was released on his 9th solo studio album in September 1974, the 9th month of the year

His albums "Rock 'n Roll" and "Mind Games" each had 9 letters in their titles.

Even when John was shot, he was rushed to Roosevelt Hospital - on 9th Avenue (Roosevelt also has 9 letters, as does Manhattan, the district in New York where he lived and died).

"It's just a number that follows me around, but, numerologically, apparently I'm a number six or three or something, but it's all part of nine." - John Lennon

These references and many more are all over the internet, go read them. [Ref19] [Ref20] [Ref21]

So yeah, that's all very weird and what-not, but what has this got to do with me? Well, if John Lennon's number was 9, and if I really was the reincarnation, then it would make sense that my number would be 10, right?

I once got a fortune cookie that said "The number 10 will always be lucky for you". I was like "ok, cool, thanks" and I stuck it on my cupboard. It was there for ages, I looked at it everyday, until I really started to think about it. And slowly I began to work some stuff out...

"J" is the 10th letter of the alphabet, which is another thing I share with John Lennon.

J A R E D W O O D S has 10 letters, which is yet another thing I share with J O H N L E N N O N.

October is the 10th month of the year, and as I have said, just one more thing me and Mr. Lennon share.

And finally, I was born on the 16th of Oct '84, a week after John's birthday. If you add 16 and 84 you get 100. Which is 10 tens.

So as John became aware that number 9 was his number, I have become aware that number 10 is mine - the number after John's. And as John did, I have already begun to slip this number into as many of my works as possible (you might have noticed), because I LOVE IT. And I mean, "One After 909" is "9-10" isn't it?

On a side note, it might be worth mentioning here that John's first two initials were JW for John Winston, as are mine seeing as I have no middle name.

Chapter 5
We Are the Eggmen

This is arguably the most important chapter of this whole propsal. To me there is one thing that the spirit of Lennon would find more important than numbers and birth dates and the physical transformation of its host. And that would be artistic merit.

I’m not here claiming that I am half as talented as John Lennon’s left pinkie - because he is John Fucking Lennon, the legend above legends. But the fact stands: I have some ability. I can play guitar, bass, drums and a bit of piano - much like Lennon. I have been known to sing [Ref22], having done so for many years, even occasionally on stage in front of large amount of people. Lennon also did that, maybe you know. I like to believe I can draw [Ref23]. John Lennon liked to believe this too [Ref24]. I have been known to write sometimes (Ref: this fucking blog). Lennon himself wrote three books, namely: In His Own Write; A Spaniard In The Works; and Skywriting By Word Of Mouth (genius titles if you ask me). I have a deep connection to the arts and other artists, as I’ve proven with Art-Pulpitations (RIP) [Ref25], kind of like what Lennon and The Beatles did with Apple Records [Ref26]. And it’s worth mentioning that Avant Garde techniques are still some of my favourite - as were they Lennon’s around 1968.

I don’t think it would be fair if someone on the side of the road was screaming that he was the Lennon reincarnate if he had no artistic value whatsoever. At least I have some sort of a creative and productive side to me, regardless of what you might think about it.

Liam Gallagher, by the way, has absolutely no musical ability whatsoever. His brother did all the Oasis work, fact. Just check their album credits, you will usually find the words "all songs written and composed by Noel Gallagher" because Liam couldn’t do anything.

Which begs the question: what do you think Lennon would say to Liam? I’ll tell you - he would say “you stole my hair and my glasses and my sound, you little fucker”. Because, at very least, I haven’t gone out of my way at any point to be like Lennon whatsoever. I have my own style going. Liam has ripped everything he knows from Lennon, and yet he still doesn’t know that much. If I am indeed crazy, then Liam is a fucking mental case.

This concludes my essay. Allow me to wrap it up nicely for you:

Chapter 6
And In The The End...

I’ll never forget the day. I was watching an episode of The Simpsons in 1993 when Homer was part of The Be Sharps Band [Ref27]. The entire episode was smothered in Beatles references, which caused my Dad to laugh hysterically whereas I simply didn’t get it. "What’s the joke Dad?"

He explained to me about this band, the "biggest band that had ever existed". They broke all world records, all barriers and changed the history of music forever. I remember clearly thinking that he had to be exaggerating, for if this band did indeed exist, what the fuck had I been listening to? From that moment, I had a fierce curiosity about The Beatles, and slowly I spent more and more time researching them. But it wasn’t until many many years later that it became a full blown obsession. While my friends will still listening to Norma Jean and In Flames, I was frantically buying every Beatles thing I could get my hands on. I had all of their albums; a ton of solo work from each member; posters; t-shirts; a Sgt Pepper vinyl; multiple books; badges; postcards; matchboxes... you name it, I had it - which is pretty rare for a then 20 year old. The Beatles just spoke to me maaaan. I listened to them pretty much solidly for two years straight. And it was John Lennon who always stood out for me as the centerpiece of the picture, he had a holy vibe to him which I could never fully explain to anyone. His character appeals to me in every way possible. He is my number 1. Bigger than Jesus.

The thing is, I am not so full of myself to believe that the entire soul of John Lennon lives within me. A part of him could be, sure, and a part of him could be living within you too. It's a fun theory which I enjoy thinking about, and it makes some sense. It would explain why I have such a driving desire to be famous. It would explain why, when I landed in London, I felt more at home than I ever did in South Africa. And it would also explain why I love Asian girls so much. Do you have a dead celebrity you idolize? Why do you idolize them? Do you think maybe it’s because...

No. It’s not. To be honest, I don’t seriously believe I am the reincarnation of John Lennon. Hell, I don’t even know if I believe in reincarnation at all. But I do believe in me. Yoko and me. And that’s reality. I know you have your choice of blogs on the internet, and I thank you for wasting your time on mine.

(P.S: I love Oasis)

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