Thursday 3 February 2011

I Tricked You Into Coming Here

Anal sex is my favourite thing in the world.

As one could predict, January was a month of not-much-at-all. The reasons were obvious: December I managed to shit out 3 blogs and The Funpowder Plot released that David Lynch video which consumed our resources as pretty much the most ambitious thing we’ve ever done.

Of course, this is merely your simple outside perception, and my index fingers have been typing away as fast as ever. I have discovered a cool new way to get my ass into gear: I just get very fucked up and unproductive on the weekend and then the guilt eats me alive. The last weekend I must have thrown up 5 times, which has resulted in a week filled with launching stuff. I have detailed this below, among other goodies, because I’m sure you care so much.

75% of all free time has been spent deep within this project. I must say, it is going much faster than I could’ve hoped for. 3 of the 4 instrumentals and lyrics are 90% done, and the fourth is close behind. I am looking at a June launch, and I am super cereal excited you guys.

I just launched a new blog entitled “"You Don't Have To Choose”. Unlike any blog I’ve done before, this is not a Top-10-this, or my-opinion-that. Instead, this is the first short story I have ever launched so publicly, despite writing such things since before I can remember.

Besides that Lily Allen cartoon I did a while ago, this is the first real introduction to The Goat’s Nest. I have been developing this project for many (read: MANY MANY) years now, and you can expect a fuckload more of this world for the rest of my life. This story in particular was a special one, as I wrote the entire thing during a 2 hour and very heavy (yet legal) substance binge, surrounded by people who must have thought I was crazy, around 6 months ago. I forgot about it, found it again, and couldn’t remember the story at all. So I began the process of typing it all out, a page each day, with no recollection of how it even ended. I was happy enough with it to edit and launch it to you people, which is why it means a lot more to me than most things I’ve written here. I hope you fuckers enjoy it, cos even if you don’t, it's just a sliver of what is to come in that regard.

I know I always say this, but there will be some major changes coming to the site at some point soonish. Cool, neater stuff. The whole thing irritates me now, too much yellow = no good for zen.

The other day I got asked the biggest formspring question (or challenge rather) in the universe, which was to create a drinking board game with certain criteria. As per usual, I took it far too seriously and you can now download it for free here. It’s one of those things I have worked very hard on and so I don’t want it to get lost somehow amongst the other formsprings, so I am trying to get it out as much as possible. Do your bit, tell people.

Following on from the last entry, there have been other recent landmark (and creatively challenging) questions, mostly from Matthew Krige - you evil bastard. Highlights include:
A hand drawn picture of me being an asshole penguin.
A poem using my name as the primary rhyme.
A self help guide on making all your dreams come true.
And a short story about all the girls I’ve fucked locked in one room.

They have earned me some respect from strangers, and I am proud of this. Please, ask me something, I am getting way too into these.

The David Lynch music video which won NOTHING really burnt us out. And while Jon has been still fighting the war in Austria, Ammr left us for a month to do some film work in Scandinavia. Which left us somewhat handicapped. However, Kris had been toying with the idea of launching his Norml Marijuana Flash Animation he made a while ago, and after some serious encouragement/pressure/annoyance from me, we managed to get it up. Here’s one for the stoners.

A few other things are underway, which I am not at liberty to talk about here, either from outside pressure or because it might fail. But I will say that the one is a collaborative writing piece; another has to do with vandalism; and the final one is a Twitter experiment. Maybe more on this soon, maybe not.

Speaking of Twitter, I still Tweet. Follow me, I’m full of win.

As promised, I have begun my Best Albums of 2011 blog early this year, and have currently listened to 36 new 2011 albums. The Top 5 albums of Jan for me were: The Braids - Native Speaker, The Decemberists - The King is Dead, Deerhoof - Deerhoof vs. Evil, Tapes ‘n Tapes - Outside, and The Joy Formidable - The Big Roar. Give a listen, you might yum taste.

Ok, that is all. I'm not disillusional, I am pretty sure nobody actually reads these but me. So I read it a few times for everyone else’s sake. You’re fucking welcome.


You Don't Have To Choose


So sorry to do this, but the short story you are looking for has been removed! How shit is that?

Do not fear! If you want to read it, you still can! Simply download my book This Is Your Brain On Drugs (featuring many other very delicious bits I wrote) from good old Amazon Kindle!