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Wednesday 1 November 2017

The 20 Best Lyrics of 2017

The 20 Best Lyrics of 2017



20
"I'm tearing up man, it's hard to put this shit in words. It's like Macklemore at the Grammy's, man. I just feel like you got some shit you didn't deserve."

- Vic Mensa, Heaven on Earth
The Autobiography


19
"I killed Kurt Cobain. I put the shot right through his brain, and his wife gave me the job."

- The Jesus and Mary Chain, Simian Split
Damage and Joy


18
"The best way to scare a Tory is to read and get rich."

- Idles, Mother
Brutalism


17
"I want to live at The Holiday Inn where somebody else makes the bed. We'll watch TV while the lights on the street put all the stars to death. It's been on my mind since Bowie died, just checking out to hide from life. And all of our problems, I'm gonna solve them with you riding shotgun, speeding, ‘cos fuck the cops."

- Phoebe Bridgers, Smoke Signals
Stranger in the Alps


16
"You make me want to start smoking cigarettes so I die slowly."

- Remo Drive, Yer Killin' Me
Greatest Hits


15
"Shot that boy so many times he caught on fire."

- Young Thug, On Fire
Beautiful Thugger Girls


14
"Let me lick on your balls. I mean, wait, suck on my balls, baby, yeah. That's what I meant to say, yeah. I'm not gay, no, no."

- Steel Panther, I Got What You Want
Lower the Bar


13
"I wanna fuck everybody in the supermarket. Everyone is so proud of their own self-reliance right up until the cheque comes and you have to pay for dinner."

- The Smith Street Band, Suffer
More Scared of You Than You Are of Me


12
"Three months and one day after you died, I realised that these photographs we have of you are slowly replacing the subtle familiar memory of what it's like to know you're in the other room. To hear you singing on the stairs. A movement, a pine cone, your squeaking chair, the quiet untreasured in-between times. The actual experience of you here. I can feel these memories escaping, colonised by photos."

- Mount Eerie, Toothbrush/Trash
A Crow Looked at Me


11
"Try scrolling down a website, the NME, without laughing. I'll give you ten quid if you can keep a straight face. Honestly, just fucking try it, mate."

- Sleaford Mods -Dull
English Tapas


10
"I know full well that you are the patron saint of sucking cock."

- Cigarettes After Sex, Young & Dumb
Cigarettes After Sex


09
"Turkish Radiohead fans attacked at a listening party at an Istanbul, what the fuck? I can't say I ever liked Radiohead too much myself, but that doesn't mean I'd walk into a room with a crowbar and try to beat their fans to death."

- Sun Kil Moon - Bergen to Trondheim
Common As Light and Love Are Red Valleys of Blood


08
"She dreams about dying all the time. She told me she came so close. Filled up the bathtub and put on our first record."

- Arcade Fire, Creature Comfort
Everything Now


07
"I am a container of stories about you, and I bring you up repeatedly, uninvited to. Do the people around me want to keep hearing about my dead wife? Or does the room go silent when I mention you, shining alive? I live with your absence, and it's been two months since you died. I'll speak to your absence and carry our stories around my whole life. But when I'm in public, I don't know what's that look in their eyes. I now wield the power to transform a grocery store aisle into a canyon of pity and confusion and mutual aching to leave."

- Mount Eerie - My Chasm
A Crow Looked at Me


06
"I could stand on this corner and watch you walk my way for the rest of my life. And I don't wanna marry you just yet, but at least let me get you a cider. And I don't even think I'd have to pay for it, hopefully there's a couple left on the rider. And just because I've got a lot to learn does not mean that I am inherently a piece of shit. Just because I don't think I know everything doesn't mean that I don't know anything. And I don't wanna marry you just yet, although it'd probably help with my visa."

- The Smith Street Band - Laughing (Or Pretending to Laugh)
More Scared of You Than You Are of Me


05
"The spatter becomes a spray, the spray becomes a stream, and the stream becomes a waterfall. Munt is finally cascading from my input. The creeping sick moves from my breath and into my heart where it is pumped to every inch of my body. I feel it snake through the knots of my deepest veins and eat through the walls of my cells. It bleeds through the pores of my skin and it smells good. It drops from my crotch onto the floor, and with a heavy slap it hits the ground and spreads. Inside my body the pressure is too great, and like some ancient geyser, I erupt. My head hits the roof and my body breaks apart with the force of the liquid blast. Vomit bomb. Chunky shrapnel tears through everything around me. I am vomit vomiting. I grow and disperse, bleeding through walls. I force myself upon others. I slide up legs and crawl down throats. I integrate. I am double. Triple. I am ten times the size. I turn lakes into porridge and buildings into bile. I am a noxious soup filling valleys with vomit-torrents. Castles crumble in landslides and I munch the rubble. It tastes good."

- King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, Murder of the Universe
Murder of the Universe


04
"I get the exhilaration, but when you look down and see the sheer stupidity of the roller coaster just staring you in the face as blank and inescapable as the slab of concrete below just waiting to catch you, to crush you, your falling body, your skull, all of the sudden, all of the science and evolution and progress. I mean, sure, it looks good from a distance, but when you're really inside of it you realise, it's fucking terrifying. The inexorable pull of "progress," when your mind keeps running along the same narrow tract of logic for what feels like forever and the developments are horrible and gruesome and haunting and your mind won't stop and they're there, and you can't unseen them. How could one not be scared of that?"

- Priests, No Big Bang
Nothing Feels Natural


03
"Mick Jagger announced his girlfriend's pregnancy. He's seventy-two, she's a ballerina in her 20s. Hey, I gotta admit, I kinda envy that dude. When my grandpa was seventy-two he was being fed baby food with a plastic spoon, his eyes were like a fish that's faded grey and blue, and off his chin, the candy stripers were wiping off his drool."

- Sun Kil Moon, Bastille Day
Common As Light and Love Are Red Valleys of Blood


02
"Hey, office lady. I see you there with your rolodex. You know what I'ma gonna do for you? I'ma change out this water jug one handed, but first I'ma spill a few drops into your lap and dab them up with this powerful organ in my mouth. And by that, I mean my tongue. Because I'm a man. And I can tell by my reflection in this duck painting that I look good. You know what a man does? Lays his finger to the side of his nose to catch the grease, then dips that finger into his beer head, and that head goes down. Yeah, I mentioned going down, you heard of it? I just wanna take that packet of pens and spill it on your naked back. African rain, I call that. Where's your boss? Don't answer that, ‘cos he's right here. I'm pointing at me. I'm your boss. Get me a coffee and dip your undies in it because I like my coffee with a nib of cream. I'm a man, Miss office lady. Who's in that picture frame? I like kids, but I don't like boyfriends, and I don't like husbands. You ever been to a zoo and seen the apes? You ever seen the apes and thought “those hairy abominations, that hairy one in the corner touching himself with his leather fingers, that's a man"? When you think of that, you think of me. You take dictations? You get it? You ever been stapled? Never mind, we'll get to that. You cold? Put on that cardigan you got hanging over your chair. Do it slow. Pick up that phone and dial S-E-X F-U-N, and guess what? My belt's gonna vibrate and I'ma put you on speaker so you can hear yourself begging. I'ma pick up the phone, saying "what am I?" And you know how you'll answer? A man. Go ahead and cry if you need to ‘cos I love being flattered. Yeah, lick that envelope. Get that corner real good. Let's refill your stapler. Go on, get out them post-its and write yourself a reminder to thank god for man. You got too much shit on your desk. You like foreplay? ‘Cos I don't. I like to cut to the chase. Call a spade a spade. I'm a straight shooter. I'm a man among men. I'll take the milk and the cow. That's you, you're the cow. I'm easy breezy, gonna measure your entry spot with that ruler you got from the work picnic last summer. I already know you're a size Q panty hose. Q for quit talking, chubby. I hope you know how to cook ‘cos mother don't wake up till noon, and by that time I'll be here with you, refilling your water cooler and watching you suck on that hard candy like you never heard of an innuendo. So get ready ‘cos come five I'll be in the van outside, waiting, rubbing at myself like that ape in his cage thinking about your nasty nasty nasty desk, and so help me, don't you forget the paperclips."

- Pissed Jeans - I'm A Man
Why Love Now


01
"Death is real. Someone's there and then they're not, and it's not for singing about. It's not for making into art. When real death enters the house, all poetry is dumb. When I walk into the room where you were and look into the emptiness instead, all fails. My knees fail, my brain fails, words fail, crusted with tears, catatonic and raw. I go downstairs and outside and you still get mail. A week after you died a package with your name on it came and inside was a gift for our daughter you had ordered in secret, and collapsed there, on the front steps I wailed. A backpack for when she goes to school a couple years from now. You were thinking ahead to a future you must have known deep down would not include you. Though you clawed at the cliff, you were sliding down, being swallowed into a silence that is bottomless and real. It's dumb. And I don't want to learn anything from this. I love you."

- Mount Eerie, Real Death
A Crow Looked at Me

Article Within An Article: The 5 Stupidest Lyrics of 2017

"Too much, three much, four much, five much, too much for you." - Kehlani, Too Much (SweetSexySavage)
"War. Now this is war. Straight from the core. Hear the wrath and the thunder." - DragonForce, War (Reaching Into Infinity)
"Wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind." - Tyler, the Creator, See You Again (Flower Boy)
"You say 'God' and I say '10'" - Marilyn Manson, Say10 (Heaven Upside Down)
"This lappy can buy you houses. Me and mine go together like real love. I've been a MacBook pro for a while." - Wiley, Laptop (Godfather)

Read This Next Maybe

The 20 Best Lyrics of 2016
The 20 Best Lyrics of 2016

Wednesday 25 October 2017

The 20 Best Music Titles of 2017


The 20 Best Music Titles of 2017



20
Let The Dancers Inherit The Party

- British Sea Power
(album title)

19
Wiona Forever

- Creeper
Eternity, in Your Arms

18
Have You Ever Been Furniture

- Pissed Jeans
Why Love Now

17
The Poets Were Right

- Porcelain Raft
Microclimate

16
Please Don’t Ruin This For Me

- Tennis
Yours Conditionally

15
JE$U$ CRI$I$

- Marilyn Manson
Heaven Upside Down

14
Mouth Guards Of The Apocalypse

- Broken Social Scene
Hug of Thunder

13
The World’s Best American Band

- White Reaper
(album title)

12
.​.​.​BECAUSE I'M YOUNG ARROGANT AND HATE EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR

- Machine Girl
(album title)

11
You're Not As _____ As You Think

- Sorority Noise
(album title)

10
So Tell Me Mrs. Lincoln Aside From That How Was the Play?

- Sparks
Hippopotamus

09
Love In The Time Of Kanye

- Shabazz Palaces
Quazarz vs. the Jealous Machines

08
Angst In My Pants

- A Giant Dog
Toy

07
Things It Would Be Helpful To Know Before The Revolution

- Father John Misty
Pure Comedy

06
Coolverine

- Mogwai
Every Country's Sun

05
Due To Adverse Weather Conditions, All Of My Heroes Have Surrendered

- Flotation Toy Warning
The Machine That Made Us

04
JUST SAY NO TO THE PSYCHO RIGHT​-​WING CAPITALIST FASCIST INDUSTRIAL DEATH MACHINE

- Gnod
(album title)

03
Andrew Eldritch Is Moving Back To Leeds

- The Mountain Goats
Goths

02
Being You Is Great, I Wish I Could Be You More Often

- Quelle Chris
(album title)

01
Youth Is Only Ever Fun In Retrospect

- Sundara Karma
(album title)


Article Within An Article: The 4 Stupidest Music Titles of 2017

Pretty Girls Like Trap Music - 2 Chainz (album title)
How Did We Get So Dark? - Royal Blood (album title)
Satan is Real - Kreator (Gods of Violence)
AFI (The Blood Album) - AFI (album title)

Read This Next Maybe

The 20 Best Music Titles of 2016
The 20 Best Music Titles of 2016