You Don't Have To Choose

I HAVE COMPLETELY SOLD OUT

So sorry to do this, but the short story you are looking for has been removed! How shit is that?

Do not fear! If you want to read it, you still can! Simply download my book This Is Your Brain On Drugs (featuring many other very delicious bits I wrote) from good old Amazon Kindle!

GO ON, IT'S SUPER CHEAP, YOU'LL LOVE IT.

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Personal Appeal From Jared Woods

UPDATE: Don't worry, we lost anyway, but thanks for the help guys!

This might come to a surprise to you (it won't), but all the work I do online, I do for free. In fact, I actually loose money due to website hosting and other such costs. “No!”, I hear you say. “How could this be? Surely somebody must be giving you money for your genius, Jared?”. Sadly, it’s not so. All the Juice Nothing blogs you read, all the hours I spend out of my free time devoted to entertaining you whilst holding down a 9-5, is done because I want you to be happy. That’s the kind of guy I am.

In 2009 I launched Art-Pulpitations (may God rest her soul) where I scoured the internet for hours every week, finding various artists and hosting their work for free. It was promotion for those people whose skills I liked, some I have never even met, and I never asked for anything from them. I did it for love.

More specific to the point, we have The Funpowder Plot, where me and 5 of my best friends slave out asses off just to make movies for you to watch. We don’t want your money (well, we do, but forget that) but we get our payment in the form of good comments and pride in our work. Maybe you watch them because you are bored, maybe you keep track of everything we do, but the point is that you have never been asked for anything in return.

Until now.

The Funpowder Plot recently entered a competition to make a video for David Lynch’s Good Day Today. I will go on record saying that this is my favourite video we have ever made. Unfortunately, like so many of these, it is a popularity contest and we NEED YOUR VOTES to make it through. Without you baby, we are nothing. We really want to win this, because David Lynch is awesome, but it will also help us get closer to our dream of one day making a living from this shit. Imagine what we could do if we did...

Get into the Xmas spirit. If you are wondering what to get me this year, it is just a few clicks which won’t take more than a minute of your time. Is that too much to ask? If it is, you don’t know shit about festive spirit. But if it’s not...

PLEASE CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR US, we will kiss you forever.

And if you feeling particularly awesome, put it as your facebook status. Tweet it. Tell your friends. Vote from different email addresses. This is the shit we NEED because it is the shit that other contestants are doing.

Regardless, we will keep on going and making this stuff for you. Because we love you. Because we want you to be entertained.

Yours Sincerely,
Jared Woods

P.S: To prove my point I have just launched my Top 50 albums of 2010 blog, and yet another blog will be launched before the end of the year. Enjoy!

UPDATE: Don't worry, we lost anyway, but thanks for the help guys!

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