Not Dead But Definitely Dying

Hi, I’m Jared Woods, and this is the news: I am dying. My right ear is completely blocked and I am in so much pain I didn't even go to work today. So forgive me if halfway through this I attempt to stab you.

JUICE NOTHING
I just launched a blog called “How To Fuck Boys And Not Be Gay” Man, I wrestled with this one in my mind. Ever since Google+ I now have a much larger audience of people following my updates, the most worrying being people from work. One can very easily build a reputation writing about such things, and I have a lot of friends who probably won’t be my friend long after they read this. But in the end I thought, fukkit, I find it funny, and I know everyone wants to fuck me anyway. Time will only tell if it was a good idea or a bad idea, but I definitely got that “oh no, what am I doing?” feeling. Hopefully you get that feeling too.
I still have other blogs half written, slowly working on them, so hopefully I will actually finish them by the end of the year. Pretty sure the next one will be a short story.

COMING DOWN HAPPY
While on the topic of good/bad ideas and that uncomfortable feeling, the same is happening for Juice 6: Coming Down Happy. As I have kind of hinted in the last months, this is far from just a music project, and there is one specific element which freaks me out as the time is getting closer. I don’t want to give too much away, but there is definitely going to be some major trouble in my life because of this Juice. Can’t wait.
So, as it stands, I am 29% of the final stretch. It should move on much faster from here because (1) The studio time is being negotiated and I might even have most of it done by the next update; and (2) I have taken a week off work next week to devote to this project. The website is coming along too, all Drupal 7 and fancy and looking rad.
The release date I have now set is the 10th of November. I really hope this to be true. I have lost interest in everything but this project.

ALBUM CHARTS
As I think I have mentioned before, I loathe this. But slowly I am working smarter rather than harder, and am only aiming to get 31 albums or so per month. I feel the best ones will reveal themselves. I have also been slaving over March, and if you take a look, you will see it’s nearly 100%.

THE FUNPOWDER PLOT
Nothing! Sad, I know, pathetic even, but getting 6 busy people into the same room is pretty hard. I think the main issue is that The East Village are breaking up. We are all moving house because of many reasons, which I think could be a good thing rather than a bad thing. Time will tell, but I am amped to shake my life up a bit, it has become monotonous, I have become depressed, and I am the master of the universe.

That’s enough out of me. SHUT UP JARED. SHUT UP. Ok, ok, goodbye then.

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